Coming Out On Top (BxB, Dating, Comedy) (News 11/15)

[Obscura]

Valkyrie: here are the updated links (I didn't get around to changing yet!)

The Beta of Redux, the version with a new Alex and more CGs, is here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?5fb0o5nqpg8d95c


If you have difficulty getting any of the endings, here's a walkthrough:

http://www.mediafire.com/?741t12o2748gnn9

Go to my blog too if you need more info.

Sorry about the locked walkthrough. I had changed it to include Redux but didn't update this thread.

I'm also away from my house so let me know if the links don't work!

[Valkyrie]

Thamk you very much. I really appreciate it.
Good luck with your project

[trepiechick]

Congrats on getting it finished! I'm excited to play, but should I play the old version or wait for the completed Redux? Hmmm.

[Obscura]

@trepiechick

Thanks for the interest! I appreciate it! Redux is getting wrapped up right now. The "final" version should be ready sometime this weekend, Sunday at the latest.

I would probably hold out since it has some additional bits and pieces of conversation that will make some of the choices feel more rounded out.

[trepiechick]

Awesome, can't wait! I'll give you my feedback as soon I'm done, though it might take a while since I tend to replay my favorite scenes quite a few times and I'm sure this will have me replaying more than a bit XD.

[Obscura]

Ok, so the latest version of COMING OUT ON TOP: REDUX is out. The link is at the beginning of this thread. Or if you're lazy like I am: http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 11&t=16307

Hopefully there are at least a handful of you who haven't played the game yet who want to give this a shot.

Whew, I'm sleepy. Hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you have any problems. I switched from the latest version of Renpy back to the old one for now...hopefully it'll work okay on your machine.

(I'll post a link to my Kickstarter in a few days...whether or not you participate, you can all watch me freak out for the entire month of September. That should be fun.)

Cheers and thanks for stopping by!

[KashyaCharsi]

Alex looks adorable when he talks about bathing his cat shirtless

[KashyaCharsi]

I liked that Alex didn't know my name after the class if I hadn't told him at the bar, but if I keep the encounter a secret from Penny and Ian, they are just as well informed. Penny isn't even astonished if I say he hit on me last night (after she tought nothing special happened last night).

[Obscura]

@Kashya
As always, thanks for the invaluable feedback...working on the changes right now.

@all
I've put up a forum for the game. It's still in it's testing phases, so I apologize if anything is broken or doesn't work.

I've also put up my preliminary Kickstarter video in there so if you have any feedback, please register with the forum and take a look! Yes, you get to see who the hell would make a game like this as well be nuts enough to launch a Kickstarter.

Note: the Kickstarter has NOT officially launched yet. My project is still being reviewed by the board, so that page doesn't go anywhere (you can't donate) and will most likely have a few changes before the ETA launch date of September 1st. It's just up for you to take a gander and give me some feedback if you've got any. Thanks much!!!

http://comingoutontop.boards.net/index.cgi

[kaleidofish]

I played the latest Redux copy and I think there were some proofing issues. I definitely remember one that said something like "a edgy," or "a edge" if no one's caught that one. I had to avoid reading this thread for spoiler reasons, so I'm not sure.

This game was hilarious. I wasn't expecting to like the second person perspective as much as I did. The music was good too. I want a copy of that racquetball intense battle music. It'd really come in handy on the rare occasion when I work out, haha. I really like all the turns that the story took.

Like with the rats and Graham and everything. The drama made the story much more interesting.

It was also fun to troll the game, so even the dead-end options were fun for me to play through. I'll go register on your forums in half an hour. Good job on your game and good luck with the Kickstarter campaign.

[trepiechick]

Just finished the game, and I've got to say, it's so adorably girly at times that I couldn't help but grin in delight at a few points XD. I really like that you can make Mark as shy or as confident as you want; I could really connect with him because of it. For the full game, make sure you add many more save slots, especially if you keep the multitude of choices available. I like to save at every choice and quickly filled up all the spaces. Found a few proofreading errors, but the one that stuck out the most was the misspelling of somehow as somewhow. I don't remember where it was exactly, though.

I thoroughly enjoyed it and wish you luck on your kickstarter project!
My favorite ending was

the Twilight DVDs ruining his life XD

[Obscura]

I played the latest Redux copy and I think there were some proofing issues. I definitely remember one that said something like "a edgy," or "a edge" if no one's caught that one. I had to avoid reading this thread for spoiler reasons, so I'm not sure.

This game was hilarious. I wasn't expecting to like the second person perspective as much as I did. The music was good too. I want a copy of that racquetball intense battle music. It'd really come in handy on the rare occasion when I work out, haha. I really like all the turns that the story took.

Like with the rats and Graham and everything. The drama made the story much more interesting.

It was also fun to troll the game, so even the dead-end options were fun for me to play through. I'll go register on your forums in half an hour. Good job on your game and good luck with the Kickstarter campaign.

Thanks so much for checking this out. Fixing more typos for the next release. I'm glad you enjoyed it, especially since it's not 1st person and is influenced by "choose your own adventure" (which, for better or worse, has jaded my generation into creating quick-death endings that sometimes spring out at you from nowhere.) As for the music, thanks. It was my first time playing around with Garageband. I recommend it to any VN maker, really. It's a lot of fun to use.

Just finished the game, and I've got to say, it's so adorably girly at times that I couldn't help but grin in delight at a few points XD. I really like that you can make Mark as shy or as confident as you want; I could really connect with him because of it. For the full game, make sure you add many more save slots, especially if you keep the multitude of choices available. I like to save at every choice and quickly filled up all the spaces. Found a few proofreading errors, but the one that stuck out the most was the misspelling of somehow as somewhow. I don't remember where it was exactly, though.

I thoroughly enjoyed it and wish you luck on your kickstarter project!
My favorite ending was

the Twilight DVDs ruining his life XD

Aw, thanks trepiechick! Still working out the typos so thanks for the catch. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the wishing me luck...I'm gonna need it.

@all

If anybody cares, I'm probably gonna close the forum to the tiny number of people it has because I'm actually juggling far too many social networking thingies as it stands. If you want to join though, PM me and I'll include you.

[wakagana]

I apologize if all of what I'm going to say has already been said. But this is just my take on what you've got so far.

Overall Story Kind of a Cliche coming out of the closet to your friends scenario. Completely understandable and acceptable.


Writing

Dialog - The Dialog is very well put together, and I think this is your strongest writing asset. You're good at making characters appear to have certain personalities based on what they say. Within a few minutes of playing the game Ian was making me chuckle. Although I was running on fumes and had no sleep prior to starting, It was still able to make me laugh.

Inner-narration - The inner-narration was 'decent'. Not really sure how to put it aside from the fact the Main character reacted logically inside his head to everything happening.

Descriptive - Oh god, no. Uuguhfgh... You're descriptive writing was non-existent aside from very few seldom moments. You gave settings 1 sentence of description before moving onto Dialog, which was also description less for the most part. ( You made up for this by having the characters faces change - which is good. ) BUT. It didn't give me a good idea how characters were aside from how they spoke. Another pet peeve was that you skipped major areas of places you could describe and allow for character growth.

IE : You went from the dorm room to your car instantly, you went from outside of the school to inside the lecture hall instantly.

Final suggestion: Work on your descriptive writing to at least give the characters more personality then what is just portrayed from their dialog and changes of art and the game will become dramatically better. ( This doesn't mean you have to describe every action they do. Just throw in a few every now and then. )

Art

The art was decent for someone new (I'm under the assumption you drew them all your self and you're new to art - apologies If I'm mistaken)

It lacked movement of the body. The only character that really seemed to move very much was Penny. Ian kind of just had his arms crossed for half the game.

Overall

It wasn't anything 'special' but it did have its moments of humor, which is sometimes really hard to find and because of that it at least provoked me enough to give feedback otherwise I would've just shrugged and moved on to something else. You did a good job with making the characters likeable fairly quickly.

Edit : THE GUI WAS ALSO REALLY WELL LAID OUT. that was on aspect of the game I thought was really good.

[Obscura]

I apologize if all of what I'm going to say has already been said. But this is just my take on what you've got so far.

Overall Story Kind of a Cliche coming out of the closet to your friends scenario. Completely understandable and acceptable.


Writing

Dialog - The Dialog is very well put together, and I think this is your strongest writing asset. You're good at making characters appear to have certain personalities based on what they say. Within a few minutes of playing the game Ian was making me chuckle. Although I was running on fumes and had no sleep prior to starting, It was still able to make me laugh.

Inner-narration - The inner-narration was 'decent'. Not really sure how to put it aside from the fact the Main character reacted logically inside his head to everything happening.

Descriptive - Oh god, no. Uuguhfgh... You're descriptive writing was non-existent aside from very few seldom moments. You gave settings 1 sentence of description before moving onto Dialog, which was also description less for the most part. ( You made up for this by having the characters faces change - which is good. ) BUT. It didn't give me a good idea how characters were aside from how they spoke. Another pet peeve was that you skipped major areas of places you could describe and allow for character growth.

IE : You went from the dorm room to your car instantly, you went from outside of the school to inside the lecture hall instantly.

Final suggestion: Work on your descriptive writing to at least give the characters more personality then what is just portrayed from their dialog and changes of art and the game will become dramatically better. ( This doesn't mean you have to describe every action they do. Just throw in a few every now and then. )

Art

The art was decent for someone new (I'm under the assumption you drew them all your self and you're new to art - apologies If I'm mistaken)

It lacked movement of the body. The only character that really seemed to move very much was Penny. Ian kind of just had his arms crossed for half the game.

Overall

It wasn't anything 'special' but it did have its moments of humor, which is sometimes really hard to find and because of that it at least provoked me enough to give feedback otherwise I would've just shrugged and moved on to something else. You did a good job with making the characters likeable fairly quickly.

Edit : THE GUI WAS ALSO REALLY WELL LAID OUT. that was on aspect of the game I thought was really good.

Wow, thanks for the detailed feedback! There are some points I agree with...other points I wonder if we just have different preferences in how we like our narration.

Nuxill is responsible for the GUI, so those props go to her!

Yeah, the art was pretty much me figuring out how to do everything (learning anatomy, using Vector programs, using GIMP, learning how to color).

Thanks for the criticisms and compliments. They're always good to hear.

[wakagana]

Everyone has their preferences. I just think adding a little bit of sugar to the story with descriptive writing would make it just a step further/better. But the Dialog is FOSHO your strong-point. =)