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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 11:58 am 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 12:53 am
Posts: 196
Location: Indonesia
Completed: Grinning Heart: the meeting & the voyage, Nacira
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Finally! My first Kinetic Novel has released~! :D


Image


This is a simple short Kinetic Comedy Novel about a vampire and a lost traveller.
It's about how they're in love each other No, I won't make it that cliche. It's about how's vampire tricked the lost traveller.
The story begins with a bored Vampire who stayed in the castle over thousands years, and he wants something new in his life.
And Suddenly, a traveller with unexpected circumstance, come to his life.
The traveller true self was a famous handsome-man hunter, person who go around the world to take handsome-man's photographs. And the vampire is her next prey.
While she was acting cool, she didn't know that the Vampire can read her mind.



====================================


Characters


Traveller
Image


She keep unnamed untill the end of the game. She was a hot-blooded naive woman that travel around the world to fullfill her desire: to collect handsome-man photographs as much as she can. Even she always being rejected to take their pictures, she won't give up and will do whatever it takes to do her ambition, as long as it won't hurt her pride. She was a happy-go-lucky type of person anyway.


Vampire
Image


He also keep unnamed untill the end of the game. He was a cool and tricky person. An immortal that lives for thousand of years. And cannot leave the castle because of a reason. He spend his eternity in boredom, untill the traveller come to save his life.



===================================


Screenshot

Image

Image


I just love simple visual novel, and comedy one, that can make me laugh, and can make people laugh. And free~ because free is fun! That's why I create this one.
I made this for around 10 days, and I'm so happy after it was finished.
It's a very simple KN, around 5-10 minutes playtime, just like a sweet snack :lol:


============================



Rating : All age
Genre : Comedy, Fantasy
Non-Commercial
Original artworks
5-10 minutes gameplay

English Version
The game contains 269 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 1,378 words,
for an average of 5.1 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

Bahasa Indonesia Version
The game contains 269 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 1,239 words,
for an average of 4.6 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

Deutsche Version
The game contains 269 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 1,462 words,
for an average of 5.4 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

Spanish Version
The game contains 269 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 1,340 words,
for an average of 5.0 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

Russian Version
The game contains 272 dialogue blocks.
Containing 1,269 words and 8,437 characters,
for an average of 4.7 words and 31 characters per block.
The game contains 0 menus.

Credits
Story writer, Artist & Coder : Ngareci
Music : Jonathon Roberts (jmtr.com)
Proof reader (English version) : TheTourist
German Translation : Marcel Weyers
Spanish Translation : specialtantei
Russian Translation : DeXP

=========DOWNLOAD=========

::WEBSITE::

Updated 11/8/2012
- TheTourist has updated the English version above due some of grammar mistakes. :D
- Marcel Weyers translate it in Deutsche ( Thank you! :D ) So, here's the deutsche version~!
- It has been 203 downloads!! Thank you!!

Updated 10/9/2012
This game got Uncle Mugen's Stamp of Approval!! This is awesome!! XD XD

Updated 25/10/2012
- Iuliana translate it in Spanish! (thank you!~). Here's Spanish version!
(I've made a little mistake for copy the linux version of this, so I dont insert it here unless someone ask privately)

Updated 10/3/2015
- DeXP translate it into Russian! (thank you!~). Here's Russian Version

Read on Youtube by Kero Hime in Germany

Part 1 : http://youtu.be/J7u6rdEmrFA
Part 2 : http://youtu.be/EKlA-V0UrCc
Part 3 : http://youtu.be/cYjkDmILzEA

(You guys have to know how much I loooove the dubbing! And how I laugh so hard in joy for it. Thank you very much!!)


Here's some words about Grinning Heart:

-From Uncle Mugen Image
-From Ran
-From Kuroi Shiro
-From Nastar Hitam (in Bahasa Indonesia)
-From OtakuQueenFoxy
-From Lireis Lir
- From Silver Maiden
-From Kororohane

Thank you for visiting this topic!
Every comment will be greatly appreciated :D

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Last edited by ngareci on Tue Mar 10, 2015 12:07 am, edited 18 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 5:53 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:51 am
Posts: 61
Hahaha, this made me giggle! You did this in 10 days? Great job!

The little thought chibis are adorable :D


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:49 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 12:53 am
Posts: 196
Location: Indonesia
Completed: Grinning Heart: the meeting & the voyage, Nacira
Mini_Moshi wrote:
Hahaha, this made me giggle! You did this in 10 days? Great job!

The little thought chibis are adorable :D


Thank you for the giggle, haha..
Yes, I was really enjoyed it when I made these chibis :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:36 pm 
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Location: Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Completed: Fantasia series (ROT and ROTA), Doppleganger: Dawn of The Inverted Soul, a2 (a due), Time Labyrinth
Projects: Re:Set, Morpheandir Tales, The Alliance, Althernis Precasted
Organization: Memento-Mori VNs, Team Sleepyhead
Ah, it's really a funny game. Adorable chibis and nice backgrounds~ ^_^ Although you might want to get more proofreaders
to check before releasing :)

... And it was too short TT^TT I wish there will be a continuation of this~

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:57 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:04 am
Posts: 30
Projects: [untitled 0] - this is not a game (Sci-fi, Romance, Mystery, in that order)
Hey! Don't insult the proofreading!

(Though, playing through it now, I totally missed a few errors. That is completely and utterly my fault, not the creator's, for which I apologize. Again, any mistakes in grammar and spelling are my fault, not Ngareci's.)

Anyway, I definitely enjoyed the vibrant and amusing tale here, even if I'm still trying to figure out how a girl gets into the profession of stalking men and taking their picture. :P

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This Is Not A Game - a posthuman mystery and all-too-human love story

This Is Not a Love Story - three high school students intersect over the course of a Friday night

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 1:32 am 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 12:53 am
Posts: 196
Location: Indonesia
Completed: Grinning Heart: the meeting & the voyage, Nacira
azureXtwilight wrote:
Ah, it's really a funny game. Adorable chibis and nice backgrounds~ ^_^ Although you might want to get more proofreaders
to check before releasing :)

... And it was too short TT^TT I wish there will be a continuation of this~




Thank you!
Aha, I was happy with TheTourist proofread, and it's not a problem for me for some errors, eventhough, I'm sorry if it makes a little bit uncomfortable for readers.. :mrgreen:
And yes, I'm planning to make grinning heart the series, still short and nice piece, wish me luck~!

TheTourist wrote:
Hey! Don't insult the proofreading!

(Though, playing through it now, I totally missed a few errors. That is completely and utterly my fault, not the creator's, for which I apologize. Again, any mistakes in grammar and spelling are my fault, not Ngareci's.)

Anyway, I definitely enjoyed the vibrant and amusing tale here, even if I'm still trying to figure out how a girl gets into the profession of stalking men and taking their picture. :P



Don't worry bigbro~! Some errors won't hurt.. :D
And, in this fast growing world, don't be suprise if someday, professional handsome-man hunter profession will exist.. :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:59 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:47 am
Posts: 140
Just played this game! =D
Although it was a short plot, it managed to make me laugh and get the humour revolving around the characters' personalities across so well done. It's pretty good for a first.

I really loved how we were able to read what the characters were thinking as the story progressed and the chibi bubbles? XD
If there is any constructive criticism I could offer.. it would be that in my opinion (some may disagree especially as I'm kind of new to this and may not completely understand the concept of a kinetic novel) the story relied heavily on dialogue and the character's thoughts. I would personally like to read more descriptions that would entice the reader and stimulate further imagination besides the pictures being presented eg. description of castle, third person narration.

But that's just a suggestion, either way I enjoyed it and congratulate you on it! =D


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 12:53 am
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Location: Indonesia
Completed: Grinning Heart: the meeting & the voyage, Nacira
Kessie wrote:
Just played this game! =D
Although it was a short plot, it managed to make me laugh and get the humour revolving around the characters' personalities across so well done. It's pretty good for a first.

I really loved how we were able to read what the characters were thinking as the story progressed and the chibi bubbles? XD
If there is any constructive criticism I could offer.. it would be that in my opinion (some may disagree especially as I'm kind of new to this and may not completely understand the concept of a kinetic novel) the story relied heavily on dialogue and the character's thoughts. I would personally like to read more descriptions that would entice the reader and stimulate further imagination besides the pictures being presented eg. description of castle, third person narration.

But that's just a suggestion, either way I enjoyed it and congratulate you on it! =D



Thank you! And you're right, I can dig some descriptive narration more on the script. I'll make sure the next series will be like that. Thank you for the suggestion!! :D

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:30 am 
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Posts: 52
Location: Nusantara
Projects: White Days / Fragile Hearts
C-Can I laugh now? =))
Well it is very, very short indeed, but it's great for first VN! Can't help to contain more laughter from the traveller's thoughts and about the fake the end--okay, there's more but I think it is not okay to blabber too much.

What I can say is add more description/narration throughout so the situation looks more intense. Oh, and I was hoping more CGs, but that's okay. [Notes: Repair your EYD more xD]


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:25 am 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 12:53 am
Posts: 196
Location: Indonesia
Completed: Grinning Heart: the meeting & the voyage, Nacira
whitenenesha wrote:
C-Can I laugh now? =))
Well it is very, very short indeed, but it's great for first VN! Can't help to contain more laughter from the traveller's thoughts and about the fake the end--okay, there's more but I think it is not okay to blabber too much.

What I can say is add more description/narration throughout so the situation looks more intense. Oh, and I was hoping more CGs, but that's okay. [Notes: Repair your EYD more xD]



Yes, and thank you~! :D
And indeed, my EYD is bad, I just used my feelings and my everyday bahasa when I'm make the bahasa version. But that's will be my lesson in the sequel.. :D

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 6:21 pm 
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This was a very enjoyable game! The music made everything dramatic even if everything was supposed to be comedy, haha. I was smiling throughout the game play.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 8:30 am 
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Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:23 pm
Posts: 517
Location: Yogyakarta, Indonesia
Completed: Tour de Pharmacy, Tour de Paseban
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Organization: VN Project Indonesia
Deviantart: SECONDARY-TARGET
I've played it ! This is sure a comedy KN ^_^

May I give you some suggestion ? IMO The character name color's is almost indistinguishable (or it's just my eyes ?)
Next time you can try to pick very "clear" different colors (i.e : blue with red)

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:53 pm 
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Completed: Grinning Heart: the meeting & the voyage, Nacira
eternalwishess wrote:
This was a very enjoyable game! The music made everything dramatic even if everything was supposed to be comedy, haha. I was smiling throughout the game play.


Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoy it!! :D

tiya_nofurita wrote:
I've played it ! This is sure a comedy KN ^_^

May I give you some suggestion ? IMO The character name color's is almost indistinguishable (or it's just my eyes ?)
Next time you can try to pick very "clear" different colors (i.e : blue with red)


Yes, I'm having a problem with the color. I just copy-paste the exist one and change the number a little bit because I'm afraid change it too much will break the entire code.. :mrgreen:
May I ask you how to pick the clear color? :D
And thank you for playing!!

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:45 pm 
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Completed: A Rose by Any Other Name
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Haha! Why didn't I play this sooner? This was a very nice, entertaining little KN. Thank you for sharing it! :D

I love your art too! I do have to say that the last scene was probably my favorite. XD And the continued ending. Haha. Any criticisms I would have look like they've been said already. (Like a little more description)
I look forward to your future works! Good luck with them!

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:38 am 
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Completed: Grinning Heart: the meeting & the voyage, Nacira
feathersnake wrote:
Haha! Why didn't I play this sooner? This was a very nice, entertaining little KN. Thank you for sharing it! :D

I love your art too! I do have to say that the last scene was probably my favorite. XD And the continued ending. Haha. Any criticisms I would have look like they've been said already. (Like a little more description)
I look forward to your future works! Good luck with them!



Haha, thank you for playing!!
I'm glad you like the last scene! (And yes, it also makes me laugh for several days while making it) :lol:
And I'll try my best for my future works, good luck to you too!!
Thank you~! :D

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