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Drawn To You ~ Art School Romance

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:52 am
by Recca Phoenix
(fanfare fanfare)
Yeah, stuff.
I hope you enjoy.
Notify me of any bugs, issues of cheesiness, etc.
I apologize, but I had to take out the "pick your own name" feature for the sake of having a main character with a PERSONALITY.
It's been a long road, but I am not embarrassed to say I think I did well for my first project because I took my time and stayed devoted to it. It took about 3-4 months overall (and that wasn't working nonstop, mind you).
Just in time for Valentine's Day tooooo! ^_^
Let me know if there are other Mac users like me and I'll put a Mac version up later....

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:45 am
by DaFool
Nice! Congratulations!

More GxB is always nice (Commercial localization companies could take a hint)

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:11 am
by PyTom
Okay, played through twice, got endings 3 and 2.

Some minor issues:

1) The size of the window jumps around alot. You can fix this by adding the code:

Code: Select all

    $ style.window.xminimum = 180
That should give you 3 lines. Some screens have 4 lines... I'd suggest breaking them up.

You can't have dialogue and a menu on the screen at the same time, when button_menus is False. That happens on, IIRC, the first menu, and it looks odd.

Anyway, congrats on your release.

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:17 am
by PrettySammy09
Hooray! I love this game! :D

No, really, I had a lot of fun playing this game. Not only was it fun, it was kind of challenging. I got Jason's good ending, the Candace support ending, Rashad's good ending (but only after trying twice! It was challenging, but not frustrating) and Ky's good ending.

What I really like is the believable dialogue and the fun gameplay. I think that the gameplay really stands out in this title. :D Sometimes, these VNs can be TOO easy in order to make them appeal to people. People can get frustrated easily by VNs, and therefore fans, knowing this frustration, make it easier to make the right choices.
I mean, I didn't think that staying home and doing my homework would lead me to Rashad's good ending. XD
So, great job! :D I give this game a 9/10!

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:48 am
by Recca Phoenix
What I really like is the believable dialogue and the fun gameplay. I think that the gameplay really stands out in this title. Very Happy Sometimes, these VNs can be TOO easy in order to make them appeal to people. People can get frustrated easily by VNs, and therefore fans, knowing this frustration, make it easier to make the right choices.
That was one of my goals, I really thought most of the fan-made games had too much visual novel and not enough game, and that the commercial games had too much points-based stat building and not enough interaction/dialogue, or ridiculous choices like "what should I wear" that affect the gameplay way too much. I'm also glad to see that I didn't make anything too obvious.
I will fix the window size dealie when I get a chance, btw.....
and the dialogue/menu thing.

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:34 am
by mikey
I can't comment just yet, as I'll have to wait until the evening before I get a chance to play (but I have something to look forward to), so for now just the obligatory question from me, whether we can miror your game at the Ren'Ai Archives. I'd wait for that updated version and put it up whenever you make it available if you'll agree.

And congratulations. :P

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:44 am
by Sed
Ok just played through it and got all the endings except #7.

Overall, I thought it was very good. I've enjoyed playing through several times trying to get each ending.

First of all, I agree with PyTom. Keep the window sized fixed. Also, there are sections of the text where the next line is added to text already read. I would recommend breaking up these sections.

Also, your title screen seems very stark compared to the colorful nature of the game. I suggest adding more color. Put “Drawn to You” at the top in big letters. Putting it at the bottom almost hides it. I almost didn’t see the title words because they were hidden.

Having looked at some the screenshots of the game, I was kind of leery of the style of art in the game. I would describe it as "rough". When I played the game, I found the style very suitable. Even though things looked "rough", it also had a surprising amount of depth. The character designs were expressive, although I thought Rashad’s design was a bit stale. Also, Candace seemed like she always had a smile glued on her face, but then I guess that suits her role in the game. As for the background art, a few scenes seemed flat, but more the most part they have an abstract quality to them that adds to the game and fits nicely with the characters.

The music was well done and it fits all the scenes quite well. There was only one scene where I felt music was out of place. When Ren kisses Liany, the music seems too tense. Also, Liany in kissing scenes always seems tense or shocked or even non-chalant.

Speaking of endings, I loved how if you got the good ending, you got a Q&A session at the end. Although, I would have liked to be able to ask more than one question. I had to save and restore to read all of them. Maybe when you ask a question, the question disappears, but you can select another until finally you get "Thanks for coming..".

Oh, I enjoyed how if you got the "no one" ending, Candace would appear and give you advise. Great touch.

I encountered one moment of weirdness. If I blew off Jason, talked to Ren, but didn't ask him out, and then went to the party. Ren is there and it was like I asked him out.

I think you did a great job with transitions between characters. How you bump into people and choose to blow them off or talk with them, then you sort of get on with your day. It didn't have that "wipe your hands clean" or "next in line" feel.

I know you had a concern that the dialog was cheesy, but I didn't find this to be the case at all. It all seemed pretty natural and flowing. I never felt like crying, "Gag me with a spoon!" My problem was not so much what was said but how it happened.

The relationships seem to move too quickly either to the first kiss or to the bedroom. Like how Rashad forced himself on Liany after the tutoring on basically the first "date", so to speak. I realize this is a short game, so you don't have the time to stretch out the relationship.

If the game were longer, I would definitely like to see some of the characters problems expanded upon. Like Ren's struggle with alcoholism, Ky's angry attitude, and Rashad's distant personality. Maybe have your choices affect their problems. Push Ren too far and he gives into drinking and hits Liany later on in a drunken rage or make the right choices and he realizes why he feels compelled to drink. Oh and there is Jason... wait he doesn't have a problem. I guess that makes Jason seem a bit more vanilla than the others.

Speaking of choices, some of the choices seem too obvious. You always directly ask someone out, which doesn't seem realistic. Not that there isn't anything wrong with a woman asking a man out. I know some men would feel embarrassed or shocked at being asked out.

Rather than asking men out directly, maybe you could implement some other means of “subtle manipulation”. Like planning on accidentally running to that person. Trying to get yourself noticed. Or even manipulating a conversation to get a guy to ask you out. The trick is to make it not seem so “Barbie” like picking out the color of lipstick to wear, or as you pointed out selecting attire.

Also, some choices concerning relationship progression are the same. Like with Jason, you either run away or you stay, go out for coffee or don’t. On the other hand, like PrettySammy pointed out, some choices aren’t so obvious such as Rashad’s good ending.

Designing choices is a difficult balancing act. Too obvious and players breeze right through. Too obtuse and players feel frustrated because feel like they have no control. In your case, obvious choices don’t hurt the game at all, in my opinion. It makes it easy and fun to play through.

Wow, I wrote a lot. To wrap up, I enjoyed the game. Very, very good for a first attempt. I hope to see more work like this from you in the future.

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:39 pm
by Recca Phoenix
Thanks for the constructive criticism ^_^
I am going to back and run another dialogue, music, and storyline edit. Minor facelifting, in other words.
I will fix the window thingie too.
I'll post the better version soon!

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:34 pm
by Rika-chan
Hey, great game! I think we need lots more GxB games, where the main character is female. I know I've complained and even asked companies about games like that, and they just blew me off.

I saw your thread about the dialogue being cheesy, but I don't really play demos. In any case, I think your dialogue was great, as each character seemed to have their own way of speaking, and nothing about the romance seemed cheesy at all. (I'm the same way, I worry that people will think my stories are stupid or cheesy, but I've learned that you have to give your players/readers more credit, and that they're pretty accepting of most things.)

I got all the endings except for 2 and 6, and since I got all the guys' good endings, I didn't bother to go back and find those two. Are they anything interesting at all?

You know, I think the choices in the game were pretty logical, and I didn't really have any trouble getting together with any of the guys. It was different that staying home lead to Rashad, but considering that I got his ending second, he wasn't that hard to find.
Also, something really awkward that I think I should mention. When Liany sleeps with Rashad, at first, I thought he was going to rape her, because he was so forceful. Of course, I realized he wasn't when Liany was ok with it. I know this is an artifact of the game being short, and you're trying to get the characters together. That's just how it came off to me, at first.
The fact that you can ask the guys out directly didn't bother me at all. I'm a woman, and I've done things like that before. I just figured it was part of Liany's personality.

A couple of nitpicks. I didn't like how you used different transitions. I think they should be consistent throughout a game. The fact that I noticed them at all tells me that they're distracting, and I don't think that's something you want your players to be distracted by.

And while the Q and A session for each character was unique, I think it detracted from the already compressed character development. I mean, it seemed like you removed information that you could have used in-game to develop the characters, for the "unlockable" ending. (Which wasn't all that unlockable, by the way. I expected there to be a menu choice where you could see the Q and A part again.) Specifically, I'm talking about basic information about the characters, like their age, major, and interests.

I wish it could have been longer. I would have liked to see more of the characters beyond a first date. But that's ok. I really enjoyed your game, and hope you'll continue to make such great games.

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:54 pm
by Recca Phoenix
A lot of complaints about the length of the game.....
That's not really something I can "fix" now because I sort of planned the crappy length when I first wrote the script and now it's like.....enh......I'd have to think up something more and change stuff...... I would LOVE to do it but it would take a lot of additional time.
But yes, I have thought of some stray additional scenarios that would be good to add to the story.

I'm definitely not making another super-renai-ish game like this one next time. If I could re-do a game with the same characters, it would definitely be more along the lines of a romantic comedy.

Anyway, I'm going to start another topic to get opinions on whether to re-release the game and make it longer or to just move on to my next game.
My work is never done ^_^

I fixed all the issues in the script, though, and I have a tentative "2.0" waiting to go.
Ren's party story is COMPLETELY different now. I wanted him to have some more depth, so I overhauled it.
Great suggestions, keep 'em coming!

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 8:00 pm
by Recca Phoenix
Version 2.0!!!!
Currently the final edit I am doing on this project (sniff).....I have to leave off somewhere, ne?
Mac version
Windows Version

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 8:04 pm
by Recca Phoenix
Oh, and yes, I would be honored to have this on the famous ren'ai archives ^_^

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:59 am
by mikey
Recca Phoenix wrote:Version 2.0!!!!
Currently the final edit I am doing on this project (sniff).....I have to leave off somewhere, ne?
Mac version
Windows Version
Just a technicality, is there a Linux version?

And BTW, I gust got the sort of double-meaning of the "DRAWN to you" title - it's fantastic! :P

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 2:57 pm
by Recca Phoenix
Oh, sheesh, it took you that long?
No, just kidding, I've failed to get simple jokes right away like A MILLION times man.
I actually thought it was the worst title ever, so I'm glad someone liked it.
And I had to have the obligatory ~subtitle with curly marks~ that all these games seem to have

Who uses Linux? -_-;;;;;
Anyway, here's your linux version. ... r.bz2.html

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 3:34 pm
by PyTom
Recca Phoenix wrote:Who uses Linux? -_-;;;;;
I do. :-)

While not many Linux users have download MW, I've probably gotten as much appreciative email from them as Mac and Windows users put together.