Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

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Xuan
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Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#1 Post by Xuan »

Good day everyone.

Author's Note: So first, it has been a rather painful but entertaining experience creating my first Visual Novel. Note that since I am a beginner and my team is practically non-existent (Once again, a million thanks to jeje, Kingv and Ziassan for their generous help, seriously), many of the settings are left default and some sections may be painful to watch. However, I plead that you play through my game and provide as much feedback as possible! Thank you!

Game Download Link:
Windows


Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning

This is a linear and educative Visual Novel with Bully as the main theme of the story.

Note: This is a completed Visual Novel. This marks the beginning of the Dustbin Dreaming story, and (hopefully) the next VN would be at least twice as long detailing many, many events that were left out intentionally.


Synopsis :

Ceiland, high school student,15 years old, and a boy who is looked down upon and bullied by almost all students of the same grade. His high school life had been normal and uneventful until one day, he accidentally stumbled onto a bully situation and since found himself the fresh and brand new victim for the year. Fearful of the leader of the bullies, Zhon Yang – the youngest son of the town’s gang, with no lack of rumors of deaths and drugs – the entire student body turned on Ceiland and treated him like trash in order to prevent themselves from being targeted. However, unlike previous victims, Ceiland kept a cool mask and actively searched for ways to defuse the situation – without resorting to any violence – behind the bully’s back, but so far nothing had seemed to work.

Fortunately, he had two good friends, Shenea and Quron, who are undaunted by the bullies’ threatening presence and talked to him frequently, but Ceiland kept his distance as much as possible to avoid getting them involved. Also, there was a café called Midori which he frequented often and got acquainted with the owner Maine. Maine was former military and taught him some self-defense, which Ceiland had learned with great interest, but not once he had used them to protect himself from the bullies. He had a past that would stops him short whenever he thinks violence is a solution, and it’s slowly but surely forcing him into a corner.

But he can no longer run away from reality. With his final sanctuary invaded and his friends kidnapped by the very same bullies that tormented him every day, Ceiland must make a choice: Triumph over his fears once and for all, or be crushed underneath them – forever.


Characters :

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Ceiland (MC)- A peculiar young boy, 15 years old, weight 60kg, height 170cm. Has messy jet black hair, black eyes and could’ve been handsome if he bothered fixing his attire. His uniforms are always dirty and torn due to bullies picking on him. He carries a number of terrible burdens from the past, but has not given up in seeking redemption yet.



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Hersa - An enigmatic young girl, 15 years old, weight 39kg, height 155cm. She often wears a pair of black-framed glasses over her blue eyes and carries around a disproportionately huge, seven-colored school bag. She has long, smooth, to-the-waist black hair, a beautiful face and an attractive figure.



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Maine - The owner of the Midori Cafe. He is a retired serviceman and is a good friend to Ceiland. He often listens to his customers' problems and offers advice whenever possible.



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Shenea - A good friend to both Ceiland and Shenea. While she has a rather cute and innocent appearance, her personality is bullish, rash and stubborn to the bone *is shot*. She is forever cheerful, and her sunlit smile has been a constant source of comfort for Ceiland.



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Quron - Shenea's do - I mean, boyfriend. He is a good friend to Ceiland and is quite the successful basketball player with his incredible height.



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Zhon Yang - The son of the Saigon Gang's boss, he is a sadistic and twisted gangster who enjoys nothing more than the suffering of another. He is Ceiland's bully.

Sen Meng & Yusof - Zhon Yang's underlings.


Screenshot :
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Last edited by Xuan on Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

MJDAlleria
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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#2 Post by MJDAlleria »

This looks interesting, I'm gonna try it out!

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Xuan
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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#3 Post by Xuan »

Thanks. Do leave a comment here so I would know whether I did this right. :D

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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#4 Post by MJDAlleria »

Finally downloaded the .rar files.
Why are there 2 of them? Well--no matter.

I just started the game, and it's rather neatly done. (Still started so not done yet)
The starting though... mm... how do I say this. Leaves a giant question mark in my head.
And as for english in it. Could improve more also there were some that wasn't right (then again who am I to talk about it).
I'll let you know if there is any problems if I encounter any.

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Xuan
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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#5 Post by Xuan »

You'll have to be more specific exactly what left a giant question mark for you.

And yeah, my grammar's never the best, and I don't got time to find someone who would help review an unfinished script.

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lilyrose
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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#6 Post by lilyrose »

Caught my interest lmfao who am I kidding it looks really fun :) downloading right now and I'll let you know if I have problems and such and blah blah blah lols :)
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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#7 Post by MJDAlleria »

Xuan wrote:You'll have to be more specific exactly what left a giant question mark for you.

And yeah, my grammar's never the best, and I don't got time to find someone who would help review an unfinished script.
Well the beginning felt a bit too iffy--there's nothing exactly wrong soon after I got to the part
where he was getting picked on and then proceeded to him ending up by Maine's cafe/home.

At first he was rather intimidating (seriously) and then later when the talk about him feeling sad
about parting with his usual taste in clothing to Ceiland, it sure did make me feel less tense with
him. Also somehow I pity the main character... he's rather powerless.

I stopped there so I don't know what else happened though I did skip ahead to see what went
on. I was rather disappointed that there weren't any decision making, but just a linear story.
But it's good, though the glasses chick kinda put me off. (I'll comment on the story when I'm actually done with it)

The character sprites I must say are very overwhelming and different to look. Meaning they're
too big--you could have made them a little smaller to fit in place. As for the different appearances
did you get a different artist for each character? Not against you using them, but I'm more used
to see a single art style. I do like the transitions! (haha, random comment) Hersa is very strange
from what I saw during the skipping.

Oh yeah, by the end I noticed you didn't do any accreditation to the works used in the VN.
It's advisable to add it in. Unless I missed it during the skipping... did I?

I see, it'd be best if you had placed this in the WIP thread and ask someone to do BETA work on the script for you.

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Xuan
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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#8 Post by Xuan »

Think you probably missed it; I had a video credit in the end.

Also, I did have this in the WIP thread, but later I thought better of it and posted it here. The reason being that this is the first VN I'm making, and I'm probably not going to update it any further and instead focus on its sequel. The reason being because, knowing that the VN would probably come out a little weak and off in various places, I intentionally overemphasized on certain scenes to make them look cheesy and overly optimistic. This was in preparation for the next Dustbin Dreaming, which would retell what truly happened in the story.

You can say that this VN is a slightly more idealized version of a reality that could've been, but never was. I leave it to your interpretation. Hence, there is no reason for me to continue updating the story here - except maybe fixing any bugs that suddenly popped out.

And most of the art and music resources are gotten from free sources, the exception being Hersa's and Shenea's sprites, as well as 3 songs. So that explains the different art styles.

The biggest problem with the project was that I'm working alone for most of the time with a little bit around 4 months, while being a newbie to the whole Ren'Py thing. Hence there were many things that I could not really try out unless I'd want to risk missing a deadline, which thankfully is finally not an issue.

Gathering help seems to be the biggest issue - as usual - but right now my script is incomplete and I have something else that I must finish before Christmas, so until then the project is going to be halted.

Finally, thanks for the feedback. I'll work on improving my skills so that the next VN would not be too big of a disappointment. However, I must say that I'm a story-focused person, and hence the next VN is probably going to be mostly linear with perhaps 1 or 2 ending choices only. How to say... if there's no reason in the story that would make real use of gameplay (unless it was something like a puzzle game, then that would've been different), then I dislike forcibly putting it in just to... I don't know, waste time? It has always been a source of frustration whenever I try out some of the games around here; certain RPG style character building gameplay stuff were totally unnecessary and pointless. If I wanted gameplay over story I would've played mainstream games instead honestly.

Then again, there aren't many VNs who could achieve a good balance between gameplay and story. The only one VN series that succeeded was the Baldr series, specifically Baldr Sky.

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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#9 Post by MJDAlleria »

I do work alone too with my VNs too, so I can relate what you say.
Though I would say working in a joint/group project with the newest VN
I'm a part of is progressing faster than I expected.

Also I do look forward to that squeal. Also thanks for the reference to Baldr Sky.
That sounds interesting to investigate.

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Re: Dustbin Dreaming ~ The Beginning [Slice of Life]

#10 Post by tiya_nofurita »

Seems interesting. Will download it~ (though I dunno if I'd have a time to play this orz)
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