Christmas Eve:Memories[Christmas,Drama,Tragedy,Supernatural]

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Antheia
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Christmas Eve:Memories[Christmas,Drama,Tragedy,Supernatural]

#1 Post by Antheia » Mon Dec 24, 2012 10:52 am

Advanced Merry Christmas everyone~!
This is my second try on making a visual novel :3
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Christmas Eve: Memories is a short visual novel about a girl who lost her brother on Christmas eve...

*About the Characters:
>Brianna ~ a girl who lost her older brother, Brian, in an accident. She kept blaming herself for what happened to her brother, because that night, she asked her brother to buy her a present... Ever since Brian died, she became less cheerful and was often sad. The only person who could make her smile other than Brian is her best friend, Beatrix.
>Brian ~ Brianna's onii-chan, who died in an accident three years ago, on a night of Christmas Eve. He was hit by a speeding car when he tried to save his sister from being hit.
Brian and Brianna were just on the sidewalk, walking happily, and off to buy Brianna a Christmas gift, when suddenly, a speeding car with a drunk driver heads towards them. Brian pushes his sister away from the car, and with that, he gets hit by the car. He, then, gets severe injuries and dies from major blood loss. After that, Brianna is left alone with her father, so she decides to go to a boarding school, not wanting to be at their house anymore, or be with their father. And that school is where Brianna meets Beatrix.
>Beatrix ~ she's Brianna's best friend. She outgoing and cheerful. Although sometimes hot headed, she's still always there to cheer and support Brianna. Despite knowing each other for three years now, Brianna says that she feels like some mysteries still surround Beatrix... What secrets does she hide?

*Statistics:
>The game contains 1,154 screens of dialogue.
>These screens contain a total of 7,279 words,
>for an average of 6.3 words per screen,
>with 7 menus.

>It has six endings~

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Credits:
For the artworks, I got them here at Creative Commons Section~ :3
The characters 'Beatrix', 'Brian', and 'Brianna' were done by Anna
And the character 'Creole' was done by SilverHyena
The backgrounds 'bedroom', 'fireplace', 'front entrance', 'kitchen', 'library', and 'stairs' were done by OokamiKasumi
The backgrounds 'cave', 'grave', and 'forest' were done by BCS
The background 'road' was done by mugenjohncel
The name box and text box were done by OokamiKasumi
Music sources were royalty free music and jamendo... And sound effects at freesounds...
Erm... The credits put inside the game ish much clearer than the one here... @.@


Download Link: http://www.mediafire.com/?fx07azlq5aq48ls (Windows, Linux, Mac)

[(Comments and constructive criticisms are very much appreciated x3)]
Last edited by Antheia on Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:53 am, edited 4 times in total.

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DreamDragonHatchling
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Re: Christmas Eve: Memories [Drama, Tragedy, Supernatural]

#2 Post by DreamDragonHatchling » Mon Dec 24, 2012 1:22 pm

Merry Christmas to you too!!!
Game looks nice so i may try it, when i have the time.
Little sad that non of the art was made by you, I have preference for people who do it, or make them as team so every character has its soul, but its understandable, that not everyone was born with a pencil in her/his hand (painful for the mother) or some friend to kidnap and made them draw.

Marry Christmas again, and i might have a..Review? or feedback about the game, if i remember writing my very first comment here (I'm drinking hot vine and soon will be very drunk.)
[P.S.S. English is not my native language, so sorry for all spelling mistakes I had made.]

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Antheia
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Re: Christmas Eve: Memories [Drama, Tragedy, Supernatural]

#3 Post by Antheia » Mon Dec 24, 2012 2:05 pm

Thank you :3
Well, my first VN, Raindrops, had its artworks made by me, but it doesn't look that good :( (yeah, I'm one of those who weren't born with a pencil in their hand xD)... That's what I was planning to do - make a friend of mine draw for my VN, but unfortunately, he was too busy with our school projects >.<

Ok then x3 (ohh, I see...)
[It's okay~]

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Re: Christmas Eve:Memories[Christmas,Drama,Tragedy,Supernatu

#4 Post by CheeryMoya » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:04 pm

To be honest, I downloaded this because Anna's sprites were being used and I wanted to see what kind of story the ribbon girl was going to be in. I pretty much skipped over the synopsis and jumped in blind in other words.

I'm actually not sure what to say. Where do I start? The story was all over the place and it was hard to follow. What stuck out to me most was the use of "onii-chan" when these characters were far from being Japanese. It was as if you wanted to use that word to get that "translated anime" vibe or something, if that's a thing. It was very distracting and didn't really add to the story. Another issue is that you made it easy for Brianna to be out of character really fast.
She was depressed, and from there you can make her happy when she's with Beatrix. Afterwards you can make her try jumping off the stairs? I feel bad for laughing when that option popped up because I really didn't think she'd try that.
The rushed dialogue and lack of pacing/sufficient narration made it hard for me to sympathize with the characters and the story overall, and I actually just opened up the .rpy files to read the other paths. If I expected anything then it was a normal Christmas story about a girl getting over the death of her brother,
not a potential battle between a demon and an angel. That felt waaaaay out of place.
The whole story just doesn't have any logical sense to me.

Art, normally I wouldn't comment on when free resources are used, but the way you edited the sprites hurt my eyes a bit.
The angel forms have this strange glare over them when a palette swap would have been ok? It would be easy to do with the ribbon girl, just using a bucket tool over her base colors, but editing the boy sprite would be a bit hard. Other than that, you didn't resize the sprites to match heights. Beatrix loomed over the others while everyone else was tiny, and I'm afraid I don't know what Creole looks like next to them all since I read the code.
I actually had trouble getting the game out of the zip folder because it was really huge. Once I finally got the thing to work I realized the large filesize was due to all the music you used. I don't know if there's a way to compress music, but you should use less tracks.

Overall, the game felt rushed. I can understand that since some people get the urge to make holiday games on a whim, but this doesn't really capture the feeling of Christmas. The only thing related to the holiday seems to be the fact that Brian died on that day, but other than that there's really no connection.

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leevs
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Re: Christmas Eve:Memories[Christmas,Drama,Tragedy,Supernatu

#5 Post by leevs » Fri Dec 28, 2012 7:58 am

Sorry, but I just happened to download this game and the files are corrupt.
Do you mind to recheck it anyway? Thanks.

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