Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

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Aashtarsrain
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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#241 Post by Aashtarsrain »

That's because you are supporting mediocrity
:lol: Another disparaging troll on the loose (wet summer to blame I guess) :roll: ... If not, please take some time to read more threads, learn about the community and perhaps play more free VNs made with Renpy before passing judgement on landmark games here...

Glazed Donuts
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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#242 Post by Glazed Donuts »

Ren wrote:
Glazed Donuts wrote:If you think you can make a better game, then stop criticizing others and do it. Then we can talk.
While I understand where you come from with that comment, I don't agree.

It doesn't take someone who has some games under their belt to criticise a game, anyone is free to express their opinion. The problem has been summarised very well by Lord Shiranai in his post: the critique wasn't constructive at all, and was based on the poster's disappointment based on their own wrong expectations.

It is fairly dangerous to only suggest that one can't talk unless they can do better, because this excuse may be used on anyone who doesn't agree with you, not just someone who is actually being unreasonable with their expectations.
My comment was in regards to the poster not making any constructive criticism whatsoever and just downright bashing this game for no reason.

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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#243 Post by Mr.L »

Ren, Ok let me put the whole "page" thing to rest, I didn't mean for that to sound like a big deal. I was just surprised that so many people liked it being that it is what it is. I will say though even if I had posted a nicer post the only feedback I'm getting is "the game is free". which is not an excuse to make poor games.


Shiranai, you and I are going to become fast friends if we keep this up but you are a little nit picky. Ah there it is again "free, free free!" It's funny I keep reading that when I've seen others' being blasted on their games and they were free games. I didn't read anything about "free free free!"what do you make of that?


Assahtarsrian, a troll really? I'll have you know that I have read a lot of threads, I've been here for a while now reading post and checking out games. It just seemed to me that there was a lot of brown nosing going on with this one that's all. Landmark games? lmao

Glazed Donuts, there it is again, I don't recall ever bashing the game. Just because I didn't drop to my knees like the rest of you doesn't mean that I'm bashing the game.

You want "constructive" fine let's do it.

The story itself is cute in it's own way but lacks any imagination what's so ever. I could have swore that Disney or loony tones already wrote that story. I liked the romantic dialogue between the characters but it was to easy to get the girls. It was as if the main character was some kind of super hunk and with just a few words he could get any woman he wanted. (sounds like a first grade plot to me)

The characters were all one dimensional and lacked any kind of life-like attributes about them. The art could use a lot of work, some of the characters were a tad off in proportion and their eye-line made them look like the hunchback.

The backgrounds could have matched the characters better, it looked like someone took a photo and then poorly photoshoped it. Like I said, I was just surprised that so many people were behind a game that clearly had little thought behind it.
Constructive enough for you?

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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#244 Post by fortaat »

Mr.L wrote: Constructive enough for you?
No.
Mr.L wrote: The story itself is cute in it's own way but lacks any imagination what's so ever. I could have swore that Disney or loony tones already wrote that story
Use Examples to strengthen your point.
Mr.L wrote:I liked the romantic dialogue between the characters but it was to easy to get the girls. It was as if the main character was some kind of super hunk and with just a few words he could get any woman he wanted.
Was is too easy to get the girls (Gameplay issue, the choices weren't hard enough), or did you feel that all the girls were "sluts"* (writing issue)?
Mr.L wrote:(sounds like a first grade plot to me)
That's not a plot issue.
Mr.L wrote: The characters were all one dimensional and lacked any kind of life-like attributes about them.
Again, examples. Were all the characters equally bad? Did they all suffer the same problems?

Mr.L wrote:The art could use a lot of work, some of the characters were a tad off in proportion and their eye-line made them look like the hunchback.
Which characters in particular?
Mr.L wrote:The backgrounds could have matched the characters better, it looked like someone took a photo and then poorly photoshoped it.
Was the mismatch a result of poor BG quality, or was it because each component was made in a different technique?


In general, your critique is hardly constructive. You don't give any specifications which would help us (and the VN maker) see the VN's flaws, nor do you use your experience to say what should be done to fix them. You don't use any examples, which means that when you say "the characters are flat", we can't tell which ones you're referring to.

What you said equals to:

The movie was bad because:
1. The characters were flat.
2. The cinematography was bland.
3. The romance seemed fake.
4. It reminded me of Disney films.

This is hardly enough. All I know is that you hated the film, I don't really know why. As for the VN movie maker, he can't formulate any real actions that could help him improve the next version, or the next game.

Good luck with the re-writing.


* Sorry, I can't find a better word.

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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#245 Post by Aleema »

fortaat ... do you really think you're qualified give advice on critique, hmm? ;)
fortaat wrote:The first paragraph is filled with useless flowery descriptions. Get rid of it.
The second gives detailed descriptions of people we don't know or care about. In addition, since it's a visual novel, we'll see their sprites anyhow. Get rid of it.
The Following chatter made me think it's a children's story, and I lost interest. Skipped to the end.

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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#246 Post by fortaat »

Yes.
Just to give some context, that review was for 10 lines of text. I'm not saying I couldn't have done a much better job, but if you know what "flowery descriptions" means (as a technical term), and read the text, it's pretty self explanatory.

Also, it's good to know people (who never participated in the thread) remember my work two months after it was posted :)


As for my post in this thread - do you think I'm wrong, or your problem is with what I posted two months ago?
Last edited by fortaat on Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Aleema
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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#247 Post by Aleema »

That was simply the first one I found while searching your history. You're pretty known for your useless critiques, so yes, your reputation does proceed you. ;)

fortaat wrote:As for my post in this thread - do you think I'm wrong, or your problem is with what I posted two months ago?
No, I found it ironic, or whatever a good substitute for that word may be. If you're going to pick on someone's critique style, while you're so severely lacking in your own, just seems like you're trying to pick a fight, or, at best, severely biased and will only properly critique things you like (all others get critiques like the one you picked apart).

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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#248 Post by fortaat »

So, you basically agree with what I said here, but decided to use my post to air out your views on my critiques?

It's not a very honest thing to do. If you have a personal problem with me, just use a PM. If you have a problem with my critiquing "style", which other people might share, open a thread.

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Aleema
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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#249 Post by Aleema »

I like my posts right where they are, thanks. :)

fortaat
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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#250 Post by fortaat »

Sigh... internet drama.
You misunderstood - I'm no admin, you're welcome to post wherever you like. I just pointed out that you are motivated by grudge, and aren't really trying to help anyone.
Aleema wrote:You're pretty known for your useless critiques, so yes, your reputation does proceed you.
My first post here was a critique, and you agreed with it. Leaving your self contradiction aside, it's pretty easy to refute your claim.
Hell, I can refute it using the thread you gave as an example.


But regardless, let's assume I'm wrong on all accounts - my critique always sucks - do you really think this the best way to handle it?
If you have a problem with my critique on a certain game, why not discuss it at the appropriate thread?
If you think I'm wrong about a VN/WIP thread, write your own critique on it and we'll have a discussion. If your arguments are good enough, you could prove I'm X/Y/Z, and thus help me improve my critique in the future, which in turn will help the community as a whole.
The makers/artists/writers, as well as other forumites, could only profit from a critical look at the games.

I would love for you to join next time, as I think you're an intelligent person, and I appreciate your opinions. Being so, I'm quite disappointed all you saw fit to contribute are a few sarcastic remarks on an unrelated thread.

Topagae

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit a

#251 Post by Topagae »

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit..."
Last edited by Topagae on Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Abeiramar
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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#252 Post by Abeiramar »

Well, it isn't that bad. I played a little, so far it's fun. I didn't finish it yet because currently I'm working on lots of drawings.
It may not be the best thing out there but at least it's amusing and has decent art (even if the backgrounds are photos).

Topagae

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit a

#253 Post by Topagae »

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit..."
Last edited by Topagae on Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mr.L
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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#254 Post by Mr.L »

All this over a little comment I made? Too funny.

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Re: Elven Relations - v1.1 released!

#255 Post by aicarrie1 »

I have gotten Asilana's ending and found it exciting. For a second, a wondered if the Caller was going to boil Takuya in oil.

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