The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

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SimonLayton
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The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#1 Post by SimonLayton » Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:07 pm

Aurora Incendium Productions presents their first ever amateur kinetic novel, and NaNoReNo 2013 entry, The Clown.
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Download
Dropbox
Windows | Mac | Linux

OneDrive
(Windows / Mac / Linux)

NEW! Online Version NEW!
Play as an unnamed female narrator as you suddenly wake up in a dark room,
and move around to find yourself in a circus theater where you will witness probably one of the most disturbing things in your life. (Or so we say.)

Features:
- file size is more or less 25mb,
- play time only 5-10 minutes, depends on your reading speed
- choices that doesn't affect the ending (kinetic/linear visual novel)
- best played on 800x600 resolution
- badly-timed public domain circus music!

Future plans:
- polish the piece
- add bonus material

Statistics:
The game contains 118 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 1,860 words,
for an average of 15.8 words per screen.
The game contains 3 menus.

Credits: Updated!
Writing/Programming/Design: notyourleo (SimonLayton)
Art/Co-Design: hazelle more (RheaZeamoll)
Web version: Alte (http://tillnite.droppages.com/)
Textures: punk-rose.com
Sound effects: freesound.org
- unchaz
- pagancow
- joedeshon
- soundbyter.com
Music by:
- Julius Fucik
- Henry Fillmore
- Karl King
- Alexander Franke

Tell us what you think. :D Feedback and constructive criticism are dearly loved, since me and and the artist wants to improve in everything, so we could make better VNs in the future.

In the meantime, while we wait, enjoy a picture of me and my partner-in-crime, Rhea, hiding in the bunker awaiting for your feedback.
drawing 001.jpg
Last edited by SimonLayton on Sun Nov 23, 2014 4:14 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Coreyrn
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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#2 Post by Coreyrn » Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:26 pm

I can't download the Windows Version, it always says "Permission denied".
The Mac and Linux Version can be downloaded but that doesn't help me.

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SimonLayton
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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#3 Post by SimonLayton » Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:01 pm

Sorry! Mediafire has blocked the Windows and Mac versions. :/

Here are the Dropbox links for now.

Windows
Linux
Mac

Will upload more mirrors in the future. Sorry for the inconveniece.

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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#4 Post by Coreyrn » Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:18 pm

Ok, now it worked. :)

Really nice, little game. The atmosphere is captivating and I felt really nostalgic when I heard the circus music.
And I really felt sorry for the friend
It's a bit mysterious, because I see no hints why he or they is/are there. Well, doesn't matter I had fun playing it.

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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#5 Post by Kokoro Hane » Mon Mar 25, 2013 4:02 pm

Wow, this was really well made! I really like the art!
It was confusing, though, and didn't explain much of how the two got there. But the part with the friend was very emotional, but at least they got out of there....I think
Very mysterious, but that's what made it amazing. I really liked the piano song playing at the end <3
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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#6 Post by SimonLayton » Mon Mar 25, 2013 4:22 pm

Apologies if it is confusing, but the mysteriousness is intended. xD;;
I wish I could say why and how they end up there so it would be less confusing, but I'm afraid that it might bring the player away the story, ruining the intended atmosphere because of the background information. I'm more of a "show, don't tell" person. Maybe too much. :P
I forgot to say that the game is sort-of symbolic in some way. What's symbolic in this VN, it's left for the players to think about.

But I'm glad that you guys enjoyed it. :D

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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#7 Post by RheaZeamoll » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:47 am

Many apologies for being very silent until now, but I just wanted to say hello and give a big hug to all who played. :)

So, HELLO!!!!! :D

And I'm glad as my partner-in-crime that you guys liked it, too. :3

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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#8 Post by Kessie » Sun May 05, 2013 2:34 pm

Firstly, congrats on completing the NaNo challenge! :D That shows great effort in itself.
Secondly, I played the game just now and I really loved it. ^-^b
Thirdly, the only constructive criticism or advice I have to offer is that there are minor things I noticed that I think require proofreading but very minor really. I am not good at proofreading >.<;; but there are a lot of proofreaders around the LSF community who I'm sure would be happy to help you guys if you need it when you polish it up ^^.

Finally, I will be recommending this KN to some of my friends. :D
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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#9 Post by SimonLayton » Wed May 08, 2013 11:54 am

Thanks for the feedback! :D We're too busy in real life right now to polish the KN, but we'll keep your suggestion in mind. :)
And thanks so much, I hope your friends will love it as much as you do. >u<

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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#10 Post by unknown5 » Thu May 09, 2013 8:57 pm

it's a nice story. i especially liked the middle stage part.
had a sad, dreamlike symbolic quality to it.
the music complemented the scenes well.
i like 'show don't tell' and the mysterious beginning. again, like a dream.

let's see. constructive criticism.
i'm not a writer, but to me the writing in the beginning seemed a bit stilted. dunno.
the middle part flowed very well.

the ending i misread at first because of the change in perspective. kinda risky but interesting.
vn's are cool since you can really engage the reader in creatively subversive ways that would be impossible with novels or movies.

overall, i definitely enjoyed it.
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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#11 Post by merdeamour » Sat May 11, 2013 11:45 pm

First of all, I liked the story. The way you told it was intriguing enough to keep me reading.

One thing that bothered me about this was the choices--I know you said that whatever one chooses, it won't affect the game--but I kept thinking all the time why there are even choices when they really wouldn't matter. It's a KN, so I think it's okay if there are no choices at all. You left more room for inconsistencies that way (when you made the choice to stand up or sit down, after that the narration states that you're sitting down...).

I liked how this was narrated in present tense, but you also had inconsistencies with that. Sometimes you switched from narrating in present tense, then to past, and then back to present.

Again, I liked the story, and the shortness of it was enticing, made me enjoy it more (because I speculated about the 'mysteriousness' of the ending, as you put it). What I pointed out above are just my honest comments on it (: There were some grammatical and spelling mistakes, but not enough that they distracted me from the story.
Good job on this! ^^
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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#12 Post by SimonLayton » Sun May 12, 2013 5:06 pm

unknown5 and merdeamour: Thank you for the feedback, guys. :D And thank you so much for the critics, I'm really grateful for them. I know there are flaws in the writing (my fault, really), but I couldn't place them. I'll work on fixing the flaws you two pointed out when we polish it. And also, thank you for playing!

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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#13 Post by merdeamour » Mon May 13, 2013 11:19 am

SimonLayton wrote:unknown5 and merdeamour: Thank you for the feedback, guys. :D And thank you so much for the critics, I'm really grateful for them. I know there are flaws in the writing (my fault, really), but I couldn't place them. I'll work on fixing the flaws you two pointed out when we polish it. And also, thank you for playing!
Not a problem! (: Imo, your only flaw was in the grammatical/spelling ones... I didn't find the start stilted like unknown5 said. You're a talented writer, and I enjoyed this KN :D

Also, you're a Filipina, too? Ang galling nga nito e xD
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
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I manage a blog, Another Otome Diary where I give my two cents on otomes I've played. Check it out, or let me know if you want a game of yours reviewed!

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Re: The Clown [Short KN] [NaNoReNo 2013]

#14 Post by Naru_san » Fri Dec 12, 2014 1:43 pm

This game has scared me a little and I upset ;_;
But it has a good idea, mirror of our life( It's sad to understand, but it's true.
ps: when I've tried to load the game it showed me the error.

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