My Teacher [Otome] [NaNoRenO 2013]

[ixWishing]

Downloaded this earlier and played through Raizen's route only for now lol. I saw the OP and I thought it was really cheesy but I won't comment on it anymore...

Hmmm, as I was playing, I kept getting the impression that the story was rushed -mainly because it lacked detail.

I thought that not much was put into thinking when developing the story which lead me to believe it was 'rushed'. I don't know how that epic of a "child trainer" the MC is, but why would an almighty powerful company CEO choose to hire her and not some successful and professional businessman? To save bucks? No way. He's filthy rich. Besides, she teaches children... what would she possible know about running a company? And for crying out loud, why does she only have 3 days? Unless the CEO has some kinda disease and he only has a few days to live left lol

... Well, I may just be taking things too seriously though. I do tend to do that a lot! XD

But the main thing that made me feel like the story was rushed was that the MC and the character just fell in love too fast. No one finds love in 3 days. If that's possible, just WOW. And other than that, there weren't enough situations that may have lead them to fall in love. I felt that Raizen just kissed the MC out of the blue! Unless he's THAT thankful to her for training him

And, his singing in the bathroom thing. Why'd he started to sing so suddenly? I also felt that him asking what the MC's opinion on her singing went too fast. I imagined he'd act all embarrassed first since he is the quiet/shy-type after all. Then suddenly he says he's going to bed. He was just taking a bathroom break, right? A dialogue like "maybe we should call it a day," but again, I may just be being too critical here.

And then there's Raizen walking-in on the MC taking a shower. Why didn't she lock the door? Any girl would have, right? Some explanation could sure help. I mean, I understand why Raizen just opened the door without knocking. It was unlocked, so you'd think nobody was inside (although there's the case of the shower's sound). The MC didn't react too embarrassed for me... but that may just be because she's mature..? I dunno lol. I'm 14 and I literally would have been red as a tomato and mad as ever LOL.

... but most of all, I felt that Raizen kissing the MC was out of the blue. Again, I didn't see quite enough moments for them to fall in love with each other. Though it might be one of those "I'm so happy right now so I'm just gonna go ahead and do this without thinking twice" which might explain why he felt awkward afterwards. Lol he must be really thankful to the MC! XD

Also, the font bothered me a bit (especially when the text displayed is really long!) ...but it may be just me and my bad eyesight. Maybe you can enlarge it or replace it with a better font? I understand it's supposed to look hand-written, though. Another thing is the way "yeah" was spelled. I believe "yea" is incorrect, although I'm not sure myself if there's such a thing as an incorrect spelling for that xD

Some other suggestions for the next release:
- an in-game menu. I noticed there wasn't one like usual otome games where there's a preferences button, back to main menu button, the all-important skip button, and such.
- a CG Art Gallery. Everyone loves this and it looks like some people who tried the game want to see it too

A wish of mine is that the backgrounds would match up to the awesomeness of the sprites. LOL

Nonetheless, thank you for creating the game! Despite those, I still had fun! I especially like the idea of adding voices and I'm so excited for that! I actually stumbled upon this since I knew one of the voice actors! I'm definitely getting the game's next release!

Haha, agreed on 95% of everything you said!
I felt the same about the plot about too rushed, and a lack of character development lol.
Personally, I agree on the whole 3 days thing. Like whatttttt?!

Personally, I would feel that having at least a month to train the guys would be good enough!
3 days to teach them and make them fall in love is... rushed and weird.
And, well yeah... like I said before, each of the guy's routes seem really similar, which is a bit bland. All of their routes felt the same, except they had different mothers and personalities (not really, as they weren't developed enough for me).

I sort of hoping for more scenes unique to each guy. Like maybe Raizen serenading the teacher, or maybe Kyosuke taking her out on a romantic date. Idk, but yeah, I wanted more scenes to flesh out their character lol.
Well, that's what I wish/hope for in the upgraded version, as long as having a CG gallery!
I hope I wasn't too hard on you, sorry!

[ofdawnandtwilight]

I, too do agree on everything everyone has said ^^ (Uh, despite me being one of the staff myself lol)
I hope I don't sound like I'm sabotaging the project while I write this, I think I do have the right to give feedback both as one of the staff and as the player as well-

As the beta tester, I've actually prepared a full review, containing almost every feedback that are said here. I also intended to fix some of the art as well but I couldn't inform that to the leader of the project before the deadline thus I couldn't send my review nor do any adjustments at all. The game was released a day (exactly on 30th March) right after I intended to do so and even with other beta testers present, there were still some awkward errors. I agree that this was too rushed, even the release itself. I don't see why it had to strictly be released by the deadline when there are more NaNo projects which were late and were still released. I too wish that it'd be more polished, there was no need to chase time when it was a guarantee that we would be releasing this, if not a bit late.
I can't say anything about the story though since I wasn't involved with it at all and I only did my job as an artist. But on the matter of the 3-day time limit, I don't really think that a month (or more) period is possible to be developed in such limited time, unless it has far too many time skips and my free time to finish the art is more sufficient than I thought ^^;; This NaNo version also happens to be sort of a demo to the upgraded one thus the short length :'D

And do feel free to post your feedback, none of you have been harsh at all so no worries! We have a lot more to improve and everyone's doing a great job at helping us (Though I still wonder why I'm the only one who keeps on replying here, where are the others orz)

[ixWishing]

I, too do agree on everything everyone has said ^^ (Uh, despite me being one of the staff myself lol)
I hope I don't sound like I'm sabotaging the project while I write this, I think I do have the right to give feedback both as one of the staff and as the player as well-

As the beta tester, I've actually prepared a full review, containing almost every feedback that are said here. I also intended to fix some of the art as well but I couldn't inform that to the leader of the project before the deadline thus I couldn't send my review nor do any adjustments at all. The game was released a day (exactly on 30th March) right after I intended to do so and even with other beta testers present, there were still some awkward errors. I agree that this was too rushed, even the release itself. I don't see why it had to strictly be released by the deadline when there are more NaNo projects which were late and were still released. I too wish that it'd be more polished, there was no need to chase time when it was a guarantee that we would be releasing this, if not a bit late.
I can't say anything about the story though since I wasn't involved with it at all and I only did my job as an artist. But on the matter of the 3-day time limit, I don't really think that a month (or more) period is possible to be developed in such limited time, unless it has far too many time skips and my free time to finish the art is more sufficient than I thought ^^;; This NaNo version also happens to be sort of a demo to the upgraded one thus the short length :'D

And do feel free to post your feedback, none of you have been harsh at all so no worries! We have a lot more to improve and everyone's doing a great job at helping us (Though I still wonder why I'm the only one who keeps on replying here, where are the others orz)

Haha, thanks for replying! Ah, I see. Well, the art in the game was really pretty <3. So thank you, (one of the?) the artist(s) here!
Haha, I guess you're right about the month thing. It could be like "1 week later... XX has improved on voicing out his opinions to the staff" or something lol. I also agree on the "why can't it be released abit late?" thing. I guess some people want to rush it get it done before the Nano month ends, haha.

But overall, I appreciate for replying back, and giving some input of your opinion as well! It's sorta cool, seeing a staff member from the very game have an opinion of the game they're working on ;P.
And if this a demo for the upgraded version as you said, then I hope it'll be better than this one! Not that it's bad or anything, but I would say some of us would like some improvements and more stuff added in ^^.

On an unrelated sidenote, is that UtaPri in your dp?! ♥

[ofdawnandtwilight]

Haha, thanks for replying!

No problem! ^^ I'd like to reply to everyone here as well but that would be wrong for me ^^;;

Well, the art in the game was really pretty <3. So thank you, (one of the?) the artist(s) here!

No, thank you for the compliment! I must say that I literally rushed everything so most of them didn't come out so good, I apologize for that :O And yes, I'm one of the artists out of two, the other is roundmetal who did almost every CGs in the game ^^

Haha, I guess you're right about the month thing. It could be like "1 week later... XX has improved on voicing out his opinions to the staff" or something lol. I also agree on the "why can't it be released abit late?" thing. I guess some people want to rush it get it done before the Nano month ends, haha.

That could work too, but I think that couldn't focus on many events and it wouldn't help on elaborating the chemistry between the heroine and the guys as a lot would be skipped. But I do think that something could be done to show their bonds more actually, damn, my writer senses are tingling xD And yeah, I guess she wanted her first project to be on time or punctual so it couldn't be helped. But honestly, I prefer quality even when there's a delay, but oh well ^^

But overall, I appreciate for replying back, and giving some input of your opinion as well! It's sorta cool, seeing a staff member from the very game have an opinion of the game they're working on ;P.

Haha, that's a very refreshing perspective right there I actually think that the developers need to communicate more with the players so that they could get even more detailed feedback on their project and this forum is the right place to do so, it'll be a waste to miss the opportunity to get a connection with the ones who are actually interested in your game. Besides, who wouldn't like it when one's game is being discussed/reviewed on? :3

And if this a demo for the upgraded version as you said, then I hope it'll be better than this one! Not that it's bad or anything, but I would say some of us would like some improvements and more stuff added in ^^.

I hope we could meet your expectations then! I too should really try to contact the developer about the upgrade too, we've pretty much haven't talked ever since the release ^^;; Anyway, thanks for playing the game, I'm glad that you found it to have potential (I'm emphasizing my art though lol)

And yes, I decided to have Camus gliding along the floors of my dp to greet my every visit here hahaha xDDD

[Heavenbornvip]

I really liked the concept,and wish you worked more on it. It was too rushed, and the dialogue wasn't pulling me in. Great work though and wish you the best on your future work!

[NoahSindri]

It is a very good game!
but I have one single comment is that nearly all the boys have the same dialogue with the teacher, same incidences also, as if I am playing one ending only
that's it

[Dawnfire]

I'm sorry, but this game was pretty terrible. The art wasn't bad but definitely was rough around the edges. The premise wasn't too bad. But the writing? It was either cliche or standard/basic and seemed pretty unnatural for speech. The plot was extremely contrived romance that was very rushed and didn't have much character development or depth, and I really didn't care about what happened to the main character or any of the boys. Plus,

every route followed the exact same path just using different words, which bored me

. I definitely acknowledge the time constraints and the work put in on this, and I encourage you to keep working on your otome game skills! But this wasn't my favorite.

[Mei Fuyukage]

Could you please post a walkthrough for of all the routes? Thanks

[Akitsuki]

Could you please post a walkthrough for of all the routes? Thanks

I don't think you need a walkthrough for this. Just try the option you think best and if it doesn't come like what you expected, simply press Pg Up and pick different option. Just like that!

[merdeamour]

I won't repeat what most of the people here said... but I do have to say that the art was pretty cool. I loved all the character designs, and the main protag's was adorable.

I think I'd love it if you made a sequel/lengthened this. The writing wasn't terrible--it was just rushed, and I think I can sympathize with that.

[trueheartsdestiny]

Given the topic of the game, it would have been better if there was more time spend on it. However, since it was a NanoRenO project, I will choose to point out some minor (or not so minor) details.

Initially, the boys are in denial of their flaws, but after their father mentioned the gala that's coming up in 3 days, they change their tune pretty quickly. I find that pretty unrealistic since to them, she's a complete stranger. It's hard enough to be truthful to yourself with your issues, nevermind strangers! Speaking of issues, Takumi's angry temperament needs therapy, not a child trainer. It's also pretty bizarre that her suggestions to help him doesn't set him off on a rampage, given his one trigger button.

In Raizen's route, the secretary's response to the father's "He will have to choose who he loves" is pretty blunt. I don't know how close the relationship are between the two of the, but it seems almost rude to say that to your boss.

I also find it pretty strange that all the boys goes in her hotel room to check on her. I can check that up to decency and manners, but making someone breakfast is a bit extreme.

Shinji's name was in the dialogue tag under Takumi's router, right after the teacher told him that "there are better ways to say it in a calmer tone". There's at least three more instances of that afterwards.

Overall though, the art and music was nice. Composition was done well, but execution could have been done better if more time were spent on it.

[scorlight]

Oh my... wat a nice game, cute drawing and good story ^^ Well, I searched the whole forum, it's worth it Thank you
P/s: The way u choose a character at the beginning of the game remind me of those voltage games in iphone

I'm playing Shinji route and lol in the bathroom incident =))

[Takkun]

I downloaded this game and I don't regret it! :3
Even though the game was kinda short and that it was some small errors in Takumi's route it was otherwise a pretty good game and the guys were very cute <3 *drool*. The art was also very beautiful and the music was nice.
I will definitely play your next game!

[VAPMichaelaLaws]

Hi (wow, it's been a while o-o)

Thank you all SO much for trying the game and giving your thoughts/critiques/opinions about it! I'm happy that people are enjoying it, despite the rushed aspects of it (such as the errors and the timeframe of the game in general).

I have to sincerely apologize for the lack of any news or updates about this game. Because of outside issues, we aren't able to continue forward with the writing and editing as fast as we want, so for now we're putting the longer/official game on hold until we have time to sit down and solidify what exactly we want to write.

In the meantime, I am happy to announce that I am writing/producing another otome called "Seduce Me" with the awesome Maltagliati as co-writer and artist. Please feel free to check it out! A demo for that game will come out soon!
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=23360

[greenheartnellie]

Why haven't I seen this? o.o This looks good! I'm downloading it right away