Oh, this was an interesting story.
It's unfortunate that I already read a review of it online first, so I already knew the twist at the end before it happened, hahaha XD I think that spoils the story somewhat. But that obviously isn't your fault XD
I loved how the sprites were drawn! The coloring book like effect, as though they had been colored with wax crayons, was really effective! It really fit the tone of the story.
The sprite for Ambre's 'true' self was really effective, too. In a lot of VNs, they will describe a character as looking creepy/unwell/too thin/too pale, etc, but then their sprite will still just be some generic attractive cute anime girl, so it was really refreshing to see a story that says a character looks sick, and then... actually makes the sprite look sick! I was happy to see that haha XD
And the art for the game menu is super, super cute :'3
The writing (I can judge based only on the English text, since I can't read French), it was good. It accomplished what it needed to do. The author is very, very good at writing complex ideas into a way that can be easily understood - and communicating a lot of information to the reader very quickly. It feels very effective... somehow minimalistic, maybe?
I wish there had been some more dialogue between characters, and less 'summarising what happened in narrative', because I love reading dialogues between characters (and it can give characters more 'depth', flesh them out more, if you have a fixed way of knowing how they talk?), but that's just my preference haha.
The English translation was a little 'off' at points - a few words used that are outdated and nobody really uses in common speech (like the phrase 'gussy up' hahaha XD Which gets used twice, in quick succession, which makes it stand out even more!).
The translation sometimes read kind of stilted, with a lot of very long, complex sentences... but I think that may have been part of the original writing style? I quite like that rather mannered, formal style of writing anyway - it makes everything sound kind of fairytale-ish and more removed from reality XD So I enjoyed it. Maybe it doesn't fit too well with the modern setting though? This kind of writing style seems more suited to historical/fantasy like stories. But then, the story itself is meant to be
fairly unsettling
, so this slightly 'off' style of writing compliments it pretty well.
I think you might have laboured too much the point about 'the advertising and fashion industry and our consumerist society results in these too high expectations for women, which can be very harmful and toxic and cause stress and depression, even mental health problems', though. I mean, it is a perfectly valid point, which I agree with, but maybe it was... too explicit? It felt, during these segments of the story, like you were writing a manifesto, rather than a story? These themes are very interesting and add depth to the story, but maybe they could have been brought up in a more 'natural' way - without the story explicitly spelling it out? But then I know some readers are probably not going to 'get' it if you make things too vague - and some readers will still not 'get it' even if you beat them over the head with these themes over and over haha XD And since it's such an important element of the story, it makes sense the author would want to try and make it as explicit as possible.
Sorry for the long wall of text o: But I think this game was really interesting, and I enjoyed it a lot! I think there are a few issues with the writing style (too much description, not enough character interaction - and a little too much blatant moralising) but overall it's pretty strong.
And impressive, since I think almost all the assets used (sprites, backgrounds, music) are original?
Good job! n_n'
. I’m glad you liked Ambre in the end!
