Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo13]

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#31 Post by k_arashi » Tue Apr 09, 2013 5:08 pm

roundmetal wrote:Yay the link worked great

I must say was surprised at various korean honorifics and expressions used~~
I agree with Twilstar with the addition of glossary ^_^
The plot twist at the end was not expected at tall lol
I really like how the sprites have nice clean line art too

Anyway the GUI looks pretty nice too, looking forward to the complete version. :)
I'm so relieved to hear that! (:
Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know if the link worked for you ^^

Yes, a glossary will be added. It's just that I completely forget to include it in the demo... :? *facepalm*
Please don't mind it for now >u< I know it's super confusing though without a glossary. I apologize!

The artist will be very pleased to hear that! She also did the GUI so I'm sure what you said will bring a smile to her face. She didn't have very much time because of the deadline so she said it was quite hard to try to maintain "quality" in the art with such a short amount of time.

Haha, I'm so glad to hear you like the plot twist~! I really enjoyed writing that part. Expect to see a lot of humor in the finished game XD (at least with the parts involving Hyun-Su and the main character's situation).

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#32 Post by Ordog » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:58 am

I finished playing the demo !
The first thing I have to point is that Hyun Su looks alot like Gu Yong ha from sungkyunkwan scandal x) I was glad to see that, since I really liked the secondary characters in this drama !!
Though what bothered me is that both (Hyun Su and Suk Chul) look a lot alike. I hope there will be some CGs without their hats later in the game.
I don't watch that much historical drama, but aren't they supposed to be wearing a white hangok only when someone dies ? (Like a widow wears black nowdays, at the time they'd wear white) actually it was also like that in occidental culture... So it bothered me a bit to see Suk Chul in white. But may be it has something to do with the plot ?

I also think you should read the scrpit once more because there were some mistakes like: "too" instead of "to" or something like "saved her" when Joo Eun was talking about herself being saved, etc... (There were also some verb tense mistakes
But English isn't my first language so I can't really juge xD (My teacher always points my grammar mistakes anyway ><)
But the grammar wasn't what bothered me the most.
I think it has something to do with the writting pace ? You know sometimes the story seems rushed when it should be slow and vice versa.
For example, I liked the passage when she's about to fall in the stairs but Suk Chul grabs her. But when she was about to fall and Hyun Suk catches her by the waist was a bit too long (Like she has her eyes closed, wonders what saved her, open her eyes and realise it's Hyun suk) It would be better if it was as fast as Suk Chul's moment.
The moment during the night when someone tries to kill her: I know she's supposed to be sleeping and then she wouldn't notice, but it's weird to have her describing what she can't see. And then the next morning she doesn't even care about it. May be you can try descrinbing this passage at the 3rd person ? With something like changing the letters color in the game. Plus it seems it will happen often.
(I can't really help you though, I can't only write in my language so may be some things I said are weird^^")

Maybe you can add more clues about the mystery of whome she looks like ? That way the reader will want to know (because now, I don't feel like it's that important)

Is Hyun Suk supposed to be the womanizer ?
And Suk chul ? He's the... tsundere kind ?
Are they both already in love with her ? (Lucky her xD)

Anyway, I'll be waiting for the full version !! The demo ends when it gets interesting !!
I really prefer Suk chul >< So can't he have more... cheesy lines ? xD (I want to see him with a tokimeki face !!)

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#33 Post by k_arashi » Thu Apr 11, 2013 5:37 pm

Ordog wrote:I finished playing the demo !
The first thing I have to point is that Hyun Su looks alot like Gu Yong ha from sungkyunkwan scandal x) I was glad to see that, since I really liked the secondary characters in this drama !!
Though what bothered me is that both (Hyun Su and Suk Chul) look a lot alike. I hope there will be some CGs without their hats later in the game.
I don't watch that much historical drama, but aren't they supposed to be wearing a white hangok only when someone dies ? (Like a widow wears black nowdays, at the time they'd wear white) actually it was also like that in occidental culture... So it bothered me a bit to see Suk Chul in white. But may be it has something to do with the plot ?

I also think you should read the scrpit once more because there were some mistakes like: "too" instead of "to" or something like "saved her" when Joo Eun was talking about herself being saved, etc... (There were also some verb tense mistakes
But English isn't my first language so I can't really juge xD (My teacher always points my grammar mistakes anyway ><)
But the grammar wasn't what bothered me the most.
I think it has something to do with the writting pace ? You know sometimes the story seems rushed when it should be slow and vice versa.
For example, I liked the passage when she's about to fall in the stairs but Suk Chul grabs her. But when she was about to fall and Hyun Suk catches her by the waist was a bit too long (Like she has her eyes closed, wonders what saved her, open her eyes and realise it's Hyun suk) It would be better if it was as fast as Suk Chul's moment.
The moment during the night when someone tries to kill her: I know she's supposed to be sleeping and then she wouldn't notice, but it's weird to have her describing what she can't see. And then the next morning she doesn't even care about it. May be you can try descrinbing this passage at the 3rd person ? With something like changing the letters color in the game. Plus it seems it will happen often.
(I can't really help you though, I can't only write in my language so may be some things I said are weird^^")

Maybe you can add more clues about the mystery of whome she looks like ? That way the reader will want to know (because now, I don't feel like it's that important)

Is Hyun Suk supposed to be the womanizer ?
And Suk chul ? He's the... tsundere kind ?
Are they both already in love with her ? (Lucky her xD)

Anyway, I'll be waiting for the full version !! The demo ends when it gets interesting !!
I really prefer Suk chul >< So can't he have more... cheesy lines ? xD (I want to see him with a tokimeki face !!)
Wow, I'm so happy at seeing such a wall of text~! :) You have included such wonderful feedback which definitely will help us improve the game! Thanks soooo much for doing that! <3333

Haha, the fact that Hyun-Su looks similar to Gu Yong-ha in Sungkyunkwan Scandal is purely coincidental xD But, you're so right! I can see a bit of a resemblance~! :lol:

But I have to disagree with you about the white Hanbok thing. Only in Japanese culture does wearing white symbolize death although you're right about the fact it is worn during funerals but the same thing does not apply in Korean culture. In ancient times, commoners mainly wore white Hanbok and those with bright vibrant colors were only worn by top class people. Back then commoners were required by law to only wear white, pale pink, light green, gray or charcoal colored Hanbok. I don't know if you watched any historical Korean dramas but they also wore white sleeping robes when they are going to bed.

In Korea the color of one’s Hanbok symbolizes something. White for example symbolizes a modest and pure spirit or innocence.
The artist based Suk-Chul's Hanbok from this picture here (she said her intention was to make it a very pale blue that almost appeared white).
She also told me that because of the manga style in general it can be very restricting when you are trying to vary characters faces. Some artists she says have a great skill for varying their characters face shapes but because she is still improving she can't exactly do that very well yet. She said she is also better at drawing girls and guys definitely are not her strong suit. She will try to keep what you said in mind though.

Thanks for pointing out the various grammar mistakes! ^^ I don't usually show my writing to other people so I never knew how inconsistent I was with verb tenses :? I really appreciate all the nice people on this forum (including you) for bringing that to my attention~! I'm going to get a proof reader to look over the script before the final game is released (:
The reason the writing pace may seem kind of fast is because I felt kind of rushed while I was working on it because of the fact this was made as a Nano project. I also agree with you that it feels "rushed" when I'm reading through it. I'll try to fix those bits seeing that I don't have a time restriction now =D

Also... about the scene at night: I did consider writing it in third person but I wasn't sure if switching point of views (from first person to third would be okay) but I'll re-look over that part in my script and try to fix that? When I wrote it, I thought writing it in a "narrative" kind of way might work (kind of like what you see in Lemony Snicket's book "A Series of Unfortunate Events" not sure if you saw that book though... >u< if you never did just ignore what I said xD) The reason why she didn't remember the scene at night was because she was sleeping and I did not want the main character to know what happened at night during the time she was asleep. I only wanted the "readers" to know. I hope that makes sense :? I'm never sure if I'm any good at explaining things xD

Thanks for mentioning that I should include more clues regarding the "mystery" of whom the main character resembles. I intended it to be only found out during Hyun-Su's route or while you are going through "his path" so that's why you only get a little "hint" of it during the beginning of the game if you choose options that involve Hyun-Su.

To answer your questions:
Is Hyun Suk supposed to be the womanizer?: Yes xD I intended him to be, but he wasn't originally. All I'm going to say is that it has something to do with his past... I don't want to spoil anything though so I'm not going to say anything more (:
And Suk chul? He's the... tsundere kind? Omigosh, how did you guess? Actually, I didn't want it to be obvious but seeing that you already guessed that... I'll say that you are correct in assuming that he is a tsundere (but he may seem like just a kuudere at first...) :D
Are they both already in love with her? (Lucky her xD): I wouldn't technically call it "love" but Hyun-Su definitely likes her because of her personality and because she reminds him of a certain "someone"(A-Ahhh I'm saying way too much about this already...! I'm hoping it's not becoming obvious of who this "mystery someone is" :cry:) but they will begin to actually "love" her when you're on one of their routes.

Haha, it's really nice to see another Tokimeki Memorial fan :wink: During Suk-Chul's route when you get to know him a little more, you will experience some "aww" worthy scenes so don't be afraid of Hyun-Su out shining him in the romance department xD Hyun-Su is just more straight-forward so he is more prone to sound "cheesy" lol xD

I'm glad you're excited for the full release~! I'm hoping it will be just as enjoyable for everyone who liked the demo! =D

Also, sorry for the wall of text >u< When I start typing it's hard for me to stop lol. If you met me in person you would find that I do the same while talking xD

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#34 Post by ixWishing » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:21 pm

[/quote]Thank you, I hope you enjoy the game~!
If you aren't too busy, some input about the game after you finished playing would be greatly appreciated~! :D But it's okay if you don't ^^

I was inspired by various Korean dramas but for this project in particular I was mostly inspired by historical dramas such as The Moon that Embraces the Sun and Sungkyunkwan Scandal (:
If you're a Korean drama fan and haven't seen them yet, I would highly recommend them~! :)[/quote]

Haha. Heard of them both, but I haven't really watch them.
I just watched a few episodes xD
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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#35 Post by Ordog » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:38 pm

xD A wall of text, I guess I called for it !!
Only in Lemmasoft people thank me for those kind of comment (I'm glad it helped)

Since he's the womanizer, can't you add more... how to say that ? perverted lines ? (Not really perverted, but open invitations I'd say xD)
Really, the plot has everything I prefer: Body switching and time travel ><

I haven't seen this much historical dramas: SKscandal, Queen In Hyun's man, Faith, Rooftop prince, Dr Jin, plus some chinese and japanese ones and some movies. So not that much (plus some were about time travel so...). I've DDL The moon that embraces the sun's episodes I'll watch them after my exams.
It's just that I remembered in Queen In hyun's man, when Kim Bong Do "dies" a Gisaeng wears a white hanbok. Also I always thought that the sleeping white robe they wear was something like their underwear (Because women always try to cover themselves when wearing those white robes xD (I guess I was wrong!!)

As for the art, the only suggestion I can give you artist is... try something with the eyes/eyebrows shapes ? xD (She should check bald charcaters in manga x)
So you're also waiting for the english patch of TGS 3 ? :D

I should stop asking you questions or you'll spoil us everything !!! (I know if you post spoilers I'll read them even with a warning ><)

(Yeah, I also talk as much as I write)

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#36 Post by Virelai » Thu Apr 11, 2013 10:29 pm

Ooh! It's historical! It's really nice. Unique storyline. But I kind of feel that the whole thing was a little bit too fast. Like, I didn't have enough tiem to digest what the characters did and everything. To be honest, I think that this isn't really a 'complete game'.
It was too short? Maybe b/c of Nano...?
I would really consider this more of a demo...
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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#37 Post by k_arashi » Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:20 am

Ordog wrote:xD A wall of text, I guess I called for it !!
Only in Lemmasoft people thank me for those kind of comment (I'm glad it helped)

Since he's the womanizer, can't you add more... how to say that ? perverted lines ? (Not really perverted, but open invitations I'd say xD)
Really, the plot has everything I prefer: Body switching and time travel ><

I haven't seen this much historical dramas: SKscandal, Queen In Hyun's man, Faith, Rooftop prince, Dr Jin, plus some chinese and japanese ones and some movies. So not that much (plus some were about time travel so...). I've DDL The moon that embraces the sun's episodes I'll watch them after my exams.
It's just that I remembered in Queen In hyun's man, when Kim Bong Do "dies" a Gisaeng wears a white hanbok. Also I always thought that the sleeping white robe they wear was something like their underwear (Because women always try to cover themselves when wearing those white robes xD (I guess I was wrong!!)

As for the art, the only suggestion I can give you artist is... try something with the eyes/eyebrows shapes ? xD (She should check bald charcaters in manga x)
So you're also waiting for the english patch of TGS 3 ? :D

I should stop asking you questions or you'll spoil us everything !!! (I know if you post spoilers I'll read them even with a warning ><)

(Yeah, I also talk as much as I write)
Thanks for the suggestion about how the artist can vary the characters face (but I must point out that the characters are not bald (a lot of people seem to think that xD) Their long hair is put in a top knot (I explained this to someone in an earlier post) and because of that, it may "look" like they are bald.

Hmm... how should I put this? I wanted Hyun-Su to treat the main character more gently and with care because he likes her, so that's why he never actually openly implied anything that he might regularly do to other women but seeing that you're suggesting it... I might add some lines like that~! xD

Oh, I have watched Queen In Hyun's Man before! ^^ In that case, the Hanbok they were wearing was because they were "mourning" the dead person. White Hanbok has several meanings depending on the situation and when it is worn. In modern Korean only people who are in a state of mourning wear a pure white Hanbok but like I said back then in ancient Korea people born of low rank were required by law to wear a white Hanbok or any other neutral color.
I hope that clears up any confusion!

Haha, we have so much in common! xD
Once again, thanks for the comment! (:
Virelai wrote:Ooh! It's historical! It's really nice. Unique storyline. But I kind of feel that the whole thing was a little bit too fast. Like, I didn't have enough tiem to digest what the characters did and everything. To be honest, I think that this isn't really a 'complete game'.
It was too short? Maybe b/c of Nano...?
I would really consider this more of a demo...
On the first post it does clearly state that this is only a "demo" (: (And if you played the game all the way to the end you will get a pop up of text stating "Thanks for playing the demo!" or something along those lines xD)
I just happened to post it in the completed game section because I was planning to edit the main post with the full game after it was actually completed. I explained this in the first post but I think for the next game I post, I think it will be better to just post it in the demo section of the forum :)

I'm glad you enjoyed playing it~! Although, I'm aware that it ends abruptly... that was intentional :wink: because I didn't want to spoil everything before it is fully completed! ^^
It also may seem rushed because like you said it is a Nano game.

Thanks for the comment though! I really appreciate that~! :)
Last edited by k_arashi on Fri Mar 20, 2020 6:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#38 Post by Ordog » Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:33 pm

I know (Yeah, it's me again) they're not bald (I remember the GDragon scene in Queen In Hyun's man xD) but since they look like bald she should check either how bald characters are diferenciated either check some historical manhwa^^

He can be gentle and still tease her a bit.

And about the line "thanks for playing the demo" it only appears for half a second on the screen xD I had to fight with the game to be able to read it, so Virelai might have missed it x)
(Well it was written in the first post !!)

I rarely check the demo section (Only the WIP and completed game sections in fact).

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#39 Post by ✿ Usagi Totoro ✿ » Wed May 15, 2013 12:15 am

I have'd finished the demo it was really really nice ~ !! I'm looking forward too the full version ~ !! :D :D

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#40 Post by Twilstar » Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:49 pm

Any update on the game? :)

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#41 Post by Virelai » Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:52 pm

OHMYLOA;IJWOIJGWAOIERJA;OWIJEGA;OWIEJR;AOWIEJG ;OIAJW *A*A*A*A*A*A*A*AA*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*
Okay, enough starry faces. IT's historicalll! Aaa;ghagl;kwjer;ioajwg;oijwer
I'm trying out the demo ohmygosh i'm so excited and jittery aaaah. ;'D
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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#42 Post by MsAllwood » Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:08 pm

I just finished playing through the demo.

1- The text color kind of bothered me but that could be due to my screen settings.
2- I think in the beginning when she is told her friend may be dead, you want to use the work apathetic/ly rather than empathetic/ly.

empathic: showing empathy or ready comprehension of others' states
apathetic: showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

3- The art and story idea are good. I enjoyed it and look forward to more. :D

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Re: Lunar Chime [GxB] [Mystery] [Fantasy] [Historical] [NaNo

#43 Post by Ina » Mon Oct 27, 2014 11:34 am

God, I hope you haven't abandoned this ;_;
It's so fantastic! :D
I loved the GUI and sprites ^^
Gosh, I even kept getting the bad end about 10 times lol
But still, continue this <3
I wanna play the whole thing~
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