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This is my first visual novel release, so please let me know what you think!

I'm about half way through and I just want to say this. It's good, it's really good.

victorita9 wrote:I'm about half way through and I just want to say this. It's good, it's really good.

Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far, and thanks for saying so!

Wow. This was a great game. The first ending I got was Jezu's ending. The pictures were really beautiful, the story well thought out, and the characters likable.

I kind of Xavier had more of a role though since you Serafina, however, was a great main character. My favorite guy had to be Arken because he, in a way, was a good father. I also liked Jezu a lot to.
Anyway, this was a great game and was written very well. I look forward to playing more stuff from you in the future

Though they're not blood related and wouldn't technically be incest, it's still gross if you have Arken as an option. +o( Unless you're referring to going back in the jungle with him...

Anywho, I got Reuben at my ending even though I was trying to get Nikoloas. I must say, his flattery got me (lol), same with Belatrix. The song that plays when he flirts is funny, can I have a download for it?

In my playthrough, there was, 2 or 3? instances that the text was too low and got blocked. It was when Reuben invited you to see the king, then the whole wall of text of it. The last part's view got blocked. I didn't pay attention to the other ones, hopefully someone saved it. =P The graphics and music were great btw, can't believe this is your first VN release! You really did a good job of it! *thumb of approval*

e: got valerie's ending and OMG can't believe you get to marry King Kallias as well! xD that was a bit unexpected and i was hoping for some, you know, cg -coughs- The last bits with him was kinda cute :3

@Fenrir34: I *almost* buried an Arken ending really hidden in there but ultimately decided against it for the following reason...

Hachiko wrote:In my playthrough, there was, 2 or 3? instances that the text was too low and got blocked. It was when Reuben invited you to see the king, then the whole wall of text of it

Thanks so much for pointing that out. Will fix ASAP!

Hachiko wrote:The song that plays when he flirts is funny, can I have a download for it?

The soundtrack is available here on my Bandcamp page: http://jennygibbons.bandcamp.com/album/ ... soundtrack You can listen to all the tracks there for free. However, to download, it's one of the few things I ask just a little $$ for I have to get it from somewhere, after all.

I'm so glad you both enjoyed it, and thanks for telling me!

Another GxB.. Yay!
Download is in progress..
Let you know my opinion after playing it.

finally..
Hm.. Dunno how.. But i got into Rueben path..
Asking why to myself, when i see him at the married option.
I don't think i'm doing something he liked.
Or should i say, i tends to avoids those character the most.
But the endings is good one
And all of that happen after rejectings Valerie's. Is she crying like a chicken to her homes?
Nah, couldn't be. That's wasn't like Valerie at all.

The art is good for me, pictured their personality greatly.
I was going WTH when i saw a red haired person charging at me after few clicks. #ifyouknowwhatimean
And got this RUN FOR YOU LIFE!!!!! feelings inside me. Good one.

I enjoy this very much. Thank you

I just played through this and was pleasantly surprised at how long and fleshed out it was! I also ran into a couple walls of text that were cut off - like at the part "For the next few days, my work in the gardens absorbs me."

I got Nikolaos's ending and might go through and go for Jezu's next time.

The only additional thing I might wish for is some kind of ending gallery or something like that to see what other endings you could get -- I'm really curious about all the other endings, it'd be nice to have a hint about what they all are!

Downloaded this last evening, and started playing through it; finished this afternoon. All I can say is "WOW!!" I liked everything about this, it was very well done, a great story kept me interested til the end. I got the Jezu ending; will have to go back and try some of the other choices and see what happens. Excellent job!

I'll be downloading shortly ^^

Thanks everyone! It's interesting to see that several of you got the Jezu ending; his is the hardest one to get--or so I thought!

This was a fun game! I love your distinctive art style; the characters' personalities really shine through in their features. (Also, purely on a shallow note, I absolutely love how pretty all the descendants of Maillion are!). The characterization is also very good. Serafina is an excellent protagonist - she's strong, determined, and acts *sensible*. I can't stress enough how much I love that. I also enjoyed the nature of the choices in the game. There were just enough to make me feel like I was really in control of the protagonist's personality and choices. The plot was straightforward, but good (just like Serafina!) and kept me hooked until the end.

I've only gotten the Reuben and Jezu endings so far. My favorite of the two was Reuben, since his story seemed a bit more fleshed out (it felt like you get a lot more scenes involving Reuben than Jezu, and he definitely had a lot more screen time). I felt rather bad for Reuben when Therefore, it seems like Serafina and Reuben's relationship followed a more natural progression than the one with Jezu, and I ended up liking Reuben's path a lot better. Also, that scene just before Reuben's epilogue where a certain someone shows up is pretty hilarious!

I also thought that the game ended a bit abruptly before going right into the epilogue...although this could just be because I'm a sucker for cute romance scenes and didn't want to see them end!

One possible bug I noticed: Long review aside, this was a well-made game! I hope that you make more in the future!

Edit: just looked over the thread, and I definitely agree with the other commenters about wanting more Xavier! I really liked the way he was handled.

Anomandaris wrote:This was a fun game! I love your distinctive art style; the characters' personalities really shine through in their features. (Also, purely on a shallow note, I absolutely love how pretty all the descendants of Maillion are!).

^this, especially the latter! >o<

@OP
Ahh, okay, I shall check out the music there then! I didn't think you'd thought of putting Arken's path though! From his (and Sera's) characterization in the story, I doubt they'd really end up together. At one point, Arken but that's just it. You can really see that he treats her just like his daughter without any impure thoughts, (and he was really ) and the same goes for Sera too. While Another note I'd love to add, even though it may seem minimal(?), but I really liked how you named the characters. It was so...er, exotic(?) haha and just fit right in. I mean, most of the time you see dating VNs out there that has Japanese names, then suddenly English or even French/German surnames which is just weiiiird (unless that character's from that specific country). Also I agree that a gallery and extras would be a great addition!

Anywho, so far I've gotten 7 endings - Nikolaos, Jezu, Reuben, Valerie, King Kallias, No One <--- , then s: . What are the other endings? o.o

e: A mistake I've found in the game, when you choose Nikolaos' path and Arken is when Nikolaos & Sera kiss in the end, you wrote 'I find myself kissing HER back" instead of "him".

Anomandaris wrote:I've only gotten the Reuben and Jezu endings so far. My favorite of the two was Reuben, since his story seemed a bit more fleshed out

Indeed; in my mind Reuben's is actually the "canon" ending. I plan to revisit these characters in one of my "Broken Balance" novels eventually, and all the characters will be in the state of the Reuben ending

Also, thanks for pointing out the bug about the necklace! My "if" statement needed to be tweaked there, apparently!

Hachiko wrote:I didn't think you'd thought of putting Arken's path though!

Here's the last that I'll say about that I'm glad you liked the names and character designs It took me awhile to feel decent about illustrating my own characters because I never feel like I do justice to what's in my head. So that's really nice to hear! With lots and lots of practice, I think I'm getting closer all the time to drawing them as I envision.

Hachiko wrote:What are the other endings? o.o

Here's what I meant by 10+ endings:

Hachiko wrote:When Nikolaos & Sera kiss in the end, you wrote 'I find myself kissing HER back" instead of "him".

Oh dear Thanks for telling me! *Rushing to fix now*

Thanks again for all your tips and comments!!

I played this through and loved it. I really am a sucker for the traditional girl pursues boy stories, and this one was very entertaining. I loved the artwork and the plot. The only disappointing thing for me was the lack of variation in the paths, all the scenes were basically the same for each character. I don't usually mind this in the main story line but in the intimate scenes I think each character should really have a unique set of lines. Of course this is just my two cents I also love to view the gallery at the end of each path I would have loved to see one in yours. If it is just a matter of needing help with the gallery coding I'd be happy to lend a hand, feel free to PM me if you'd like some help. Anyway nice work, I really enjoyed your story and I look forward to your next release.