40 minutes to eternity

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Aoyama Ryuu
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40 minutes to eternity

#1 Post by Aoyama Ryuu » Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:39 pm

The story was on my mind and I decided that a visual novel made in one afternoon didn't do it justice. Since I couldn't find anybody willing to draw it for me I decided to take the matter into my own hands and be both artist and writer for this one.

Needless to say, it took a long time.

In any case, this is 40 minutes to eternity. I can't really call it a remake since the first one was merely an experiment. It is a story of love, of how happiness can be found in the simplest of things and how harsh life's blows can be.

Though still short it contains 11 times more words than my first attempt (~11 000), digital drawings this time (wow), a much more detailed story and a new character. No choices though, sorry. The story wouldn't work with multiple endings.

I hope you enjoy it and if you do, let me know which you like better,
Claire or Victoria
. I've made a wager with myself that I'm currently losing.

EDIT: Alte has created an online version of this visual novel, to which I am thankful. If you would like to play it online, rather than download, go here. *note: It does not have a save game option.
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Last edited by Aoyama Ryuu on Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#2 Post by Fenrir34 » Wed Dec 18, 2013 7:50 pm

Let's me start out by saying that I really love your icon of Noctis. (Know it's was random but I like it.)
Anyway, this game looks cool and the arts really nice. Playing it now and I'll tell you what i think later :)

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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#3 Post by Aoyama Ryuu » Thu Dec 19, 2013 6:01 pm

Hehe, thanks, Noctis is cool. Please let me know, I'm very curious whether you enjoyed it or not.
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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#4 Post by Lire » Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:45 pm

Waaahh..
This kind of bitter ending.. i like it very much...
Hope they are doing well together in another place.. *sob.. :(

The art is good, i like those CG.
Music suited enough for these historical, tragedy genre (i'm not mistaking the genre, aren't i?).
Story is nice, especially when you add Victoria view's into this. 8)


Psst, i don't know how to make those spoiler tag. :lol: :mrgreen:
Those character are well built and has solid ground behind it. :)
Although something seem amiss to me.
About dat father, i think he died too fast though (not that i mind it :lol: :mrgreen: ).
He doesn't really seems to made many badass part except how he talks and that poison trick..
* i would be really glad if you can make a part of it,just curious :P



Overall, i totally recommend this one for KN reader.
Congrats for finishing this! :D :wink:
Look forward for your next K/VN <3. :mrgreen:
Not enough time..
Or i'm a genius in wasting time.. :lol:

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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#5 Post by Aoyama Ryuu » Sun Dec 22, 2013 6:45 am

Lire wrote:Waaahh..
This kind of bitter ending.. i like it very much...
Hope they are doing well together in another place.. *sob.. :(
Shh.

I'm glad you like the art, I was a bit anxious about it since I just started drawing with a tablet several months ago and have been going through a few styles, trying to learn coloring and such.

I can't really take any credit for the music apart from picking it, except for the main menu theme, that one is mine. As for the genre I'm not entirely certain myself, I didn't write it with any particular genre in mind.
To be honest Aidan's father wasn't meant to be a badass. Simply arrogant and bitter. More like a spoiled child than a father. He represents egotism and is the polar opposite of Claire.

Overall, i totally recommend this one for KN reader.
Congrats for finishing this! :D :wink:
Look forward for your next K/VN <3. :mrgreen:
Thank you somuch for reading and telling me what you think. It means a lot to me. I'm not planning another game right now, but I will definitely in the near future. Possibly a horror game.
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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#6 Post by Fenrir34 » Sun Dec 22, 2013 9:48 pm

This was a pretty cool game. I really hated his father though. He really needs to let his son live a little more. As for which of the girls I liked most, I have to say Claire. She reminds me a lot of my sister. Also the art in the game is really beautiful. Very well written and interesting as well. My only wish was that the characters had some more expressions but besides that it was a fun came. Good Job :)

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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#7 Post by Lire » Mon Dec 23, 2013 4:07 pm

Aoyama Ryuu wrote:
To be honest Aidan's father wasn't meant to be a badass. Simply arrogant and bitter. More like a spoiled child than a father. He represents egotism and is the polar opposite of Claire.
I see, I can totally picture him in that way :lol: .
Aoyama Ryuu wrote:I'm not planning another game right now, but I will definitely in the near future. Possibly a horror game.
Gulp.. I'm not really into Horror *sob, but i'll try to peek at it if it was mild one. :wink:
Not enough time..
Or i'm a genius in wasting time.. :lol:

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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#8 Post by Aoyama Ryuu » Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:55 pm

Fenrir34 wrote:My only wish was that the characters had some more expressions but besides that it was a fun came. Good Job :)
I tried, but the results were unsatisfactory. I'm not that great at drawing since I focused primarily on writing; after messing up a few times I gave up. I'm really glad you liked it. I thought for sure people would like Victoria better, but up until now only two people have said they favor her over Claire.
Lire wrote:Gulp.. I'm not really into Horror *sob, but i'll try to peek at it if it was mild one. :wink:
I was thinking either of a ghost story or a dark story about a mermaid. It probably won't be an actual horror, more of a tense, dark story.
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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#9 Post by Lire » Tue Dec 31, 2013 2:09 am

I hope you enjoy it and if you do, let me know which you like better, Claire or Victoria
Ops.. sorry for forgetting this.
I like both.. but if i really have to choose one, probably Victoria. :wink:
Not enough time..
Or i'm a genius in wasting time.. :lol:

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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#10 Post by Sugar-Junkie » Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:53 pm

I played it and I must say I really appreciated it.

Warning, spoiler heavy critique!
I really can't say which girl I liked best as they both grew on me pretty quickly. At first I kinda felt like Claire was a bit bland but she's actually a sweetheart so... Both are very different and likeable and I really appreciated the lack of forced drama (as Aidan walked with Victoria smiling, I kept on expecting Claire to see them and misunderstand the situation and bleh... so I really liked that it did not happen). Also Victoria could have been written as bitchy and jealous and instead you made her understanding and strong. Good female characters is always a huge plus for me.

Aidan's dad was chilling as a villain, I deeply hated him as he reminded me of a few abusive parents I know irl. At first Aidan came of as whiny but you soon realize that he's right, his dad isn't "just" a stern rigid father in an aristocratic society who wants his son to have an important social position. If he were, he would have suggested that Aidan marry Victoria and just keep Claire has his mistress as it was commonly done by nobles. No, in the end, he doesn't even care about his son as a political pawn: he wants to destroy him and make him suffer.

Maybe his evil side should have been shown more, as your characters talks a lot about what he did and does but we don't actually see it. I think making us witness more of it (not speaking about the rape because that's a huge squick of mine) would have had even more impact. Maybe seeing him mistreating his servants, or the commoners, etc...? Show, don't tell! ;)

Just curious, was the main character's name foreshadowing? Because if so, that was clever :D
If there's one thing I think should be improved it would be the sprite art as there's a HUGE difference in level between some of the characters
(the difference between Victoria and Claire was especially glaring.)
But honestly, it didn't disturb my reading and that's the most important thing.

Anyway it was really enjoyable and I'd love to read more from you. Good job!

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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#11 Post by Aoyama Ryuu » Sun Jan 05, 2014 2:27 am

Sugar-Junkie wrote:
I really can't say which girl I liked best as they both grew on me pretty quickly. At first I kinda felt like Claire was a bit bland but she's actually a sweetheart so... Both are very different and likeable and I really appreciated the lack of forced drama (as Aidan walked with Victoria smiling, I kept on expecting Claire to see them and misunderstand the situation and bleh... so I really liked that it did not happen). Also Victoria could have been written as bitchy and jealous and instead you made her understanding and strong. Good female characters is always a huge plus for me.
I'm really glad you liked the characters; it was fun writing them and yes, Claire was meant to be bland and Aidan was meant to fall in love with it. Victoria was particularly interesting to write, especially her relationship with Aidan which is unclear even to themselves. On a thin line between sibling love and romantic love, yet neither explicitly. That part about seeing them together and misunderstanding never even crossed my mind; it wouldn't have been realistic either way, Claire was not invited and she already knew Aidan was to be wed, so it would have been truly forced.
Aidan's dad was chilling as a villain, I deeply hated him as he reminded me of a few abusive parents I know irl. At first Aidan came of as whiny but you soon realize that he's right, his dad isn't "just" a stern rigid father in an aristocratic society who wants his son to have an important social position. If he were, he would have suggested that Aidan marry Victoria and just keep Claire has his mistress as it was commonly done by nobles. No, in the end, he doesn't even care about his son as a political pawn: he wants to destroy him and make him suffer.

Maybe his evil side should have been shown more, as your characters talks a lot about what he did and does but we don't actually see it. I think making us witness more of it (not speaking about the rape because that's a huge squick of mine) would have had even more impact. Maybe seeing him mistreating his servants, or the commoners, etc...? Show, don't tell! ;)
If there's anything I've learned it's that I need to work on my villains. This was a bit difficult to handle here because the only parts about his deeds which I could describe were the ones which Aidan witnessed. Which is why I had to resort to telling, since Aidan had not witnessed the deeds himself, only heard of them. As for Aidan, he does start off as whiny, but during the story he develops, each event slightly leaving its mark.



Just curious, was the main character's name foreshadowing? Because if so, that was clever :D
Aidan? Sorry, I'm not really clever enough to tell how that is foreshadowing :D I do have some foreshadowing, for example "Autumn cried for us", but I'm not sure about the name. I just thought the name suited him.
If there's one thing I think should be improved it would be the sprite art as there's a HUGE difference in level between some of the characters
(the difference between Victoria and Claire was especially glaring.)
But honestly, it didn't disturb my reading and that's the most important thing.

Anyway it was really enjoyable and I'd love to read more from you. Good job!
I know, I'm sorry about the art. I've experimented with different styles and since it took a long while to finish some of them are better and some are worse. Also, for some odd reason I found drawing Cg's to be easier than sprites.

Anyway, thank you so much for playing through it and for the lengthy critique, it really helps me improve and I'm happy to know people enjoyed the story.
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Re: 40 minutes to eternity

#12 Post by Sugar-Junkie » Sun Jan 05, 2014 8:54 am

Your names imply a lot of things : Aidan actually means "Little fire", Claire is "light" and Victoria is "victory"... It's funny that it wasn't on purpose because it works quite nicely XD
All the pleasure is mine, and as I said I'd be glad to see more from you!

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