Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

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Shio_Fuu
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Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#1 Post by Shio_Fuu » Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:07 am

Our first KN is completed! The novel is very short and simple, it takes only 25 minutes to play through.

Warning: some swearing

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It's been 4 years since Samantha last saw her stepbrother Daniel. Suddenly he comes back home for her eighteenth birhtday with his new girlfriend Jess. Sam can't be any happier - she always adored Dan and missed him terribly. But their reunion is ruined with the news of Jess' death. Police considers it to be a robbery but Sam sensising something fishy decides to start her own investigation.

Windows, Mac, Linux http://www.mediafire.com/download/5danh ... .0-all.zip

We'd love to know your opinion so we could improve in our future games!
Last edited by Shio_Fuu on Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#2 Post by Hachiko » Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:34 am

Immediately in love with the graphics. Downloading.

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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#3 Post by Crenshaw6 » Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:46 am

Been lurking around your WIP thread, so I'm really excited that it is out now. Love the art - particularly the noses and soft shading. Downloaded and will try to play it soon (busy).

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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#4 Post by Haze » Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:25 am

Yay, it's out! Congrats, you guys! Downloading now; I'll give some feedback when I'm done. :D
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#5 Post by Hazel-Bun » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:53 am

Yeah it's finally out 8D Downloading now! My thoughts will come sometime next year though seeing as I'm busy haha. Congrats!!

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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#6 Post by Ferdokki » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:18 pm

Oh, I'm so excited!!!
I'm currently a little limited on internet, but once that gets fixed up, I'll download this. =)

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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#7 Post by Green Glasses Girl » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:32 pm

Downloading now! I'll post when I'm finished.
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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#8 Post by Haze » Fri Dec 27, 2013 3:40 pm

Finished it about an hour or two ago, and...wow.
I was very, very surprised by the plot twist. Very surprised. It was just...wow. I did not see that one coming. The MC being a yandere just never occurred to me. Nice job.

I think it would have been a little more impactful if the stepbrother hadn't tricked her into killing the girlfriend. Then, at the end, instead of killing him out of anger, she could have killed him because he knew her secret. This would mean that the MC would have been the only one in the wrong, and the stepbrother that the story was pointing to would have done nothing bad at all. Instead, the person the story had been saying was evil turned out to be, in fact, evil. Not a big surprise for me.
Also, I didn't really like how the MC speaking and the MC's inner thoughts both had her pic on the side and her name on the top. That made it hard to tell when she was talking and when she was inner monologuing, except when common sense ruled that she couldn't have said that out loud. Perhaps you could have put her thoughts in italics, or you could have taken away her name thing and pic for her inner thoughts.

Didn't really like the gratuitous cursing either. Just saying.

Overall, while the presentation could have been a little better, you guys did a great job with the game. Hoping to see more great things from you guys in the future!
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
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I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
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-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#9 Post by Shio_Fuu » Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:35 pm

@Hachiko @Crenshaw6 @Hazel-Bun @Ferdokki @Green Glasses Girl thank you, I hope you'll like it!

@Haze Thanks a lot for reading and writing a review!

Sorry for cursing! I should mention it above.

The thing with MC pic and name is completely my fault. My friend who was supposed to do the programming was very busy so I went ahead and did it myself. Unfortunately coding isn't my strongest point (;_;) Thank you for pointing it out, I might try to fix it later!
About the plot twist. We talked about it with Nat_Aly and decided we want both characters to be at fault. MC might be yandere, but her stepbrother just likes to use people. I actually wanted to make Daniel even worse but she didn't let me haha (*^_^*)
And yeah, I'm looking forward to start a new project!
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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#10 Post by Fenrir34 » Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:45 pm

:shock: Wow. Played this game. And man...That's quite a twist you wrote there.....
The game was quite goo though but I dislike Sam and Daniel.
Sam was crazy for killing people and Daniel was a cheating ass who used people
I kind of wish the game was a bit longer though and that the characters had more development.

Still it was well written and the art was really nice.

PS-Felt really sorry for the parents.
They don't know they're kids are crazy...

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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#11 Post by RunicV » Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:20 pm

Ooooh, I just played this KN, and I have to say that I really liked it!
The story was really unique, the twist and the characters were really great. I thought the language was a bit awkard and forced sometimes, but the story made up for it. The art was really pretty and simple, and I like how even the parents have sprites. The CGs and the ending card was really nice to look at, although the backgrounds for the CGs could be improved. The MC looked really appealing in her deranged CG! I felt that the characters were very unlikable, but I think that was your intention?
I thought that the brother was really bad at disposing evidence, though, why didn't he just dump out the pearl and the knife? I guess that was needed to advance the plot, but it still was funny. His mention of the relationship with his teacher annoyed me, haha.
I still ended up liking the MC, though! I'll be looking forward to your next story!

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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#12 Post by Kokoro Hane » Sat Dec 28, 2013 11:42 pm

Hi! Just played this game! To be honest, the beginning of the game didn't really draw me in and I thought it wasn't going to be that good, but then...then...!
Okay so, to be honest, I actually figured out from the beginning that Samantha was the killer. However, I thought it was because she got drunk and that caused her to kill Jessica. But I DID not expect her to be a yandere, committing her first murder at 14! THAT took me by surprise. And then Daniel, who first seems to be innocent and covering up for her sister out of love, you see him being totally crazed himself USING her yandere intentions to rid Jessica. So in the end, both are totally screwed up!
I have to say the ending is what made me love it. It felt intense and redeemed the story in my opinion, I can see a lot of potential in future games and I can't wait to see what you guys come up with next!

I reviewed your game on my blog as well ^.^
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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#13 Post by azureXtwilight » Sun Dec 29, 2013 7:27 am

I played it, and it was a short nice read.
The art is beautiful, to be honest it was the first thing that got me hooked. Kudos to your artist! Like kokorohane said, I sort of figured out that Sam is the killer from her monologue, but the Daniel twist sort of surprised me in a pleasant way. Yay, double twist~ I don't mind the cursing either, I guess it was what makes them a stronger character, after all they are not supposed to be "good people".

The one that ticked me slightly was the duration, I know, it was meant to be short but I kind of wished there's more about Sam's motivation, what started her as crazy. As for now I can only see them as quite two-dimensional. Sam's just crazy and Dan's just an ass. Poor girlfriend :'( Then again, she's a blackmailer. Then there's the name over Sam's dialogue box when she is thinking so sometimes I don't know which one's her inner monologue and which one's her dialogue.

All and all it was quite an entertaining read! Keep up the good work~
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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#14 Post by Shio_Fuu » Sun Dec 29, 2013 1:40 pm

Omg thank you for nice reviews!

@Fenrir34
Yeah the parents were the only normal people there xd Or maybe we just don't know them well enough!
@RunicV I won't say everything is very logical, we simplified story and art to complete the game. I have lots of sprites and BGs for unfinished novels, so I was kind of anxious to complete anything. I'm very glad you liked MC!

@Kokoro Hane Thank you for such a thorough review on your blog, it means a lot! And I'm very happy that the ending was still a surprise for you!

@azureXtwilight The art is mine, thanks for complimenting on it ^___^
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Re: Deadly attachment [KN] [Murder mystery]

#15 Post by Sheridan » Sun Dec 29, 2013 8:23 pm

I liked the premise, but the plot felt very rushed.
It seems like it would have worked better as a longer story, where it took Sam a while to figure out that Daniel was manipulating her. Her discovery felt abrupt and somewhat contrived. I mean, why would Daniel keep evidence like that around? He'd obviously be a suspect, and if the police had spent five minutes investigating he would have been arrested. Why be so careless?

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