Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

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Vagrant-Muffin
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Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#1 Post by Vagrant-Muffin » Sat Feb 08, 2014 8:34 pm

Synopsis:
Maya's life hasn't been going too well lately. Dead parents, laid-off, and now her uncle has suddenly dumped a $5,000 debt and a 30 day deadline on her! Her luck seems to take a turn for the better though when she winds up at Lucky Cafe which offers her a job. Will she be able to make up $5,000 in a month or let herself enjoy life a little with the help of her co-workers?

Info:
Art, Writing, and Coding by Vagrant-Muffin
There are a total of 4 character paths and 3 endings + A bonus "date" scene unlocked with all endings
(A completed character path leads to special dialogue for each ending, this dialogue isn't needed to unlock the bonus)
There are 5 CGs, one for each character path and one from the bonus
Involves a job scenario system, where you can pick the job Maya will do for the day
Word count: 24,547 words
File size: About 170 Mb
(I'm sorry, it's a really big file!)

Download (Windows, Mac, Linux):
Dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/s/qnqytvjkv04dq ... .0-all.zip
Mediafire: http://www.mediafire.com/download/0gpcy ... .0-all.zip

(Spoiler-y?) Hints:
The three endings are a Friendship ending, Runaway ending, and Paid-off ending. The friendship ending includes all the characters and is triggered on day 15. Serving tables gives the most tips. Also be careful about the choices, the choices are locked when scrolling back!
Screenshots:
Image
Image
Image
Notes:
This is my first visual novel, so there are many aspects of the game that would need more polish. Please point out any problems you encounter (I've only been able to test the Windows version) and feel free to critique! I know I need the help...In essence though, this was a fun project (a labor of two months putting it together and a month of planning) and I hope to improve on my next game.

I'm not sure if this final note is necessary, but Lucky Days is not an accurate depiction of being a waitress/server. You definitely wouldn't find so many customers who'd generously tip $20...On that note though, remember to always tip!
Last edited by Vagrant-Muffin on Sun Feb 09, 2014 6:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#2 Post by Googaboga » Sun Feb 09, 2014 1:25 am

This sounds very cute. I'll give it a try and tell you what I think later.

Also welcome to the site and congrats on completing your first VN ^^.
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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#3 Post by Vagrant-Muffin » Sun Feb 09, 2014 1:30 am

Googaboga wrote:This sounds very cute. I'll give it a try and tell you what I think later.

Also welcome to the site and congrats on completing your first VN ^^.
Thank you very much! I look forward to hearing what you thought of it! :>

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#4 Post by Googaboga » Sun Feb 09, 2014 7:27 am

Okay so I finished the game (got all the endings/CGs). I think this is very impressive especially for a first game :3.
The game was very comforting and kind of familiar. I don't mean that like it reminds me of another game just the feeling is familiar. If that makes sense >.>.

I thought the job selection sort of sim-like feature was a nice choice and the point board that showed up at the end of each day was definitely helpful. I thought there was a good variety of events for each option as well.

The characters were likeable and I think they meshed well with each other and the MC. Out of all the characters I think Adrian is my favorite. Overall it was a nice little work family and I would have loved a few more scenes with the group all together.

I enjoyed all the endings but my favorite was of course the friendship end ^^. I love friendship themed games.

The bonus scene was funny. Too bad it was just a dream and you never got to see what Leo really looked like XD.

Some critiques:
-The game makes it clear you have one month to do this. Maya decides to start job hunting and then in the next scene she says the "past two weeks have been disappointing". That makes it sound like she should only have two weeks left since two weeks have been spent looking for a job. But you actually still have a full month left once you do get a job. So you might want to make that part more clear.

-There are some errors in the scene where you go to Nichole's house. If you choose to ask what's wrong her sprite won't show up and it says there is an error with the parameters. Also during either choice Maya will sometimes appear in her work uniform instead of her normal outfit.

-A few of the transition were a little abrupt. They could have been smoothed out by having a character appear with the background instead of quickly popping up after the background was there.

-I'm not entirely sure if I'm right about this but when Maya speaks her side image appears. When she's not talking the side image isn't there. Then during the bonus scene and CG scenes the side image isn't there even when she is speaking so quotes were used with her spoken dialog instead to distinguish it from thoughts. It was good that the thoughts and spoken dialog were still different but it was a little strange to have quotes all of the sudden especially since it is only for Maya's dialog and only in a few scenes. Maybe it'd be better if there were quotes around the dialog of the other person in the scene as well. Or if quotes were used more often during the game.

-This might just be me but the music seemed pretty loud. I had it turned down in the preferences almost completely but I still needed to turn the sound on my computer down low for it to be at a good level.

-There were a few minor mistakes in grammar and such.


So yeah I thought it was a really fun play. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next :).
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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#5 Post by Vagrant-Muffin » Sun Feb 09, 2014 4:21 pm

Oh whoops, the missing/incorrect sprites must have made it awkward to play. I've fixed that now and a couple of the smaller problems like the inconsistent quotation marks and clarifying the timeline in the beginning. I'm not sure about the music though, it seems to vary from computer to computer...

Thanks Googaboga for taking the time to play the game and writing out a critique! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#6 Post by Technicolour » Mon Feb 10, 2014 1:06 am

Honestly, I would not have guessed this was your first VN! I loved all the characters and their art; their interactions with Maya and eachother had me smiling quite a few times :)
Banana Lou holds a special place in my heart
Overall it was a cute and fun game and I hope you continue to make VNs :3

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#7 Post by Vagrant-Muffin » Mon Feb 10, 2014 5:10 am

Honestly, I would not have guessed this was your first VN! I loved all the characters and their art; their interactions with Maya and eachother had me smiling quite a few times :)
Banana Lou holds a special place in my heart
Overall it was a cute and fun game and I hope you continue to make VNs :3
It makes me happy that people find them likable, it was pretty fun to write some of their scenes, especially those including Adrian lol I would very much like to continue making VNs, hopefully I can make the next one much more enjoyable...

But thanks for playing and giving Lucky Days a chance :>

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#8 Post by Googaboga » Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:47 am

Yeah it probably is just my computer or maybe I'm just really sensitive to sound.

No problem. I hope it was helpful. I tried to give useful feedback but I'm not very experienced in critiquing things ^^;.
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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#9 Post by Rainbow Colors » Mon Feb 10, 2014 11:05 am

It was a nice game. The bonus scene was splendid
orz I'm no good at critique.

The bonus scene was entirely unexpected and left me laughing XD Nice job.

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#10 Post by Vagrant-Muffin » Tue Feb 11, 2014 2:15 am

Googaboga wrote:Yeah it probably is just my computer or maybe I'm just really sensitive to sound.

No problem. I hope it was helpful. I tried to give useful feedback but I'm not very experienced in critiquing things ^^;.
Your feedback was very helpful! :> I had totally missed those bugs, and you were pretty nice about the little mistakes too. It helps to know the good and bad stuff the player experienced the game, so thanks again! Sorry about the music though...I'm not too familiar with the files or how Ren'py handles them lol so that might not have helped for quality control either :'D
Rainbow Colors wrote:It was a nice game. The bonus scene was splendid
orz I'm no good at critique.

The bonus scene was entirely unexpected and left me laughing XD Nice job.
Haha, I'm glad you weren't put off by the bonus scene! I was kind of worried it'd be too out of place... Thanks for trying it out!

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#11 Post by cool99 » Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:51 pm

...
I found the plot very interesting and really entertaining, but one thing really bothered me:
the month ended with me having 100/100 points with Marcus and I was $20 short of 5000. No "Hey Marcus, you know how every day you pay me $64? Please can I have $20 in advance?" (I can earn $20 from one customer) and no "911 there are gangsters harassing me and are now chasing me over $20 that I really don't even owe them!" and definitely no "Mind if I use a credit card or ATM for the last $20?" No, she just runs and the mysterious gangster leader orders his gangster minions to go get the girl who had nothing to do with her uncle's debt!
I do like your sense of humor and art style though! Overall, I would have to say this game is really good for your first one, as well as on its own. *round of applause*

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#12 Post by Vagrant-Muffin » Wed Feb 12, 2014 2:49 am

cool99 wrote:...
I found the plot very interesting and really entertaining, but one thing really bothered me:
the month ended with me having 100/100 points with Marcus and I was $20 short of 5000. No "Hey Marcus, you know how every day you pay me $64? Please can I have $20 in advance?" (I can earn $20 from one customer) and no "911 there are gangsters harassing me and are now chasing me over $20 that I really don't even owe them!" and definitely no "Mind if I use a credit card or ATM for the last $20?" No, she just runs and the mysterious gangster leader orders his gangster minions to go get the girl who had nothing to do with her uncle's debt!
I do like your sense of humor and art style though! Overall, I would have to say this game is really good for your first one, as well as on its own. *round of applause*
$20 is totally worth killing someone over, think of the pizza that could be bought with that! Haha, but in all seriousness that was a bad oversight on my part...I'll have to be more careful about keeping the writing tighter in the future.

Thanks for taking the time to play Lucky Days though, despite the plothole :'D I'm glad you were still able to enjoy it!

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#13 Post by JimG » Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:38 pm

A really good game, thank you for sharing it with us. I think Googaboga's comment about the game being familiar was interesting. Lucky Days really has the feel of a classic Ren'Py game. In some ways I found Lucky Days a little dark in that one of the endings was not particularly comforting, but it certainly wasn't dark and gloomy like a lot of games/visual novels seem lately.

Best Regards
Jim

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#14 Post by Vagrant-Muffin » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:55 am

JimG wrote:A really good game, thank you for sharing it with us. I think Googaboga's comment about the game being familiar was interesting. Lucky Days really has the feel of a classic Ren'Py game. In some ways I found Lucky Days a little dark in that one of the endings was not particularly comforting, but it certainly wasn't dark and gloomy like a lot of games/visual novels seem lately.

Best Regards
Jim
Thank you for playing it! I was a bit nervous that the lack of drama or intense plot, especially one with no romance, would make the game boring but I'm glad people still able to enjoy the story.

Although I'm not entirely sure what a classic Ren'Py game would feel like... :'D

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Re: Lucky Days [Slice of Life/Friendship/VN]

#15 Post by Asceai » Thu Feb 13, 2014 7:14 am

Vagrant-Muffin wrote:Although I'm not entirely sure what a classic Ren'Py game would feel like... :'D
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... =11&t=3354

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