The One in LOVE [NaNoRenO 2014 – All Computers + Android]

[Donmai]

Well... Thank you .

[Lesleigh63]

Finished playing this and found it very well done. I like that there are some different VNs out there (folks like yourself pushing the boundaries and showing us what a VN can do).

I like Sci-Fi and this is the type of thing I remember reading in short-story mags.

I liked the artwork - particularly the robots. Sometimes I liked the male characters picture and sometimes I didn't (occasionally I felt his face was too big for the screen but that may just be my preference and it may not overwhelm other viewers).

Thanks for the game.

[silverpikachu99]

Yay its finally finished!! Congrats

[Donmai]

I like that there are some different VNs out there (folks like yourself pushing the boundaries and showing us what a VN can do).

Wow ! Thank you for the compliment.

Yay its finally finished!! Congrats

Thank you, girl .

[arachni42]

I enjoyed your game. It definitely followed some classic sci-fi traditions, including world-building, especially after finding out what was really happening. At the end I felt rather lonely... but in a good "that was a cool story" way. Great job creating the mood! I also think the art worked really well for telling the story.

The most major negative I would say is the text... it feels like there ought to be some sort of semi-transparent textbox that makes it a little easier to read. The text colors were fine -- it was just, as you said, certain backgrounds and such.

I also have my doubts that an asteroid large enough to destroy the Earth wouldn't be noticed many more years ahead of time, but I can forgive it, given that "humans destroying themselves" is so overdone. I'm glad it wasn't "humans destroying themselves." Though honestly I would have forgiven that too because that really wasn't the point.

Anyway, good job and congrats on finishing your Nano!

[Donmai]

Thank you .

I also have my doubts that an asteroid large enough to destroy the Earth wouldn't be noticed many more years ahead of time, but I can forgive it, given that "humans destroying themselves" is so overdone. I'm glad it wasn't "humans destroying themselves." Though honestly I would have forgiven that too because that really wasn't the point.

You are right. I've done some research, though, and it seems that

noticing a massive asteroid is always possible. Getting rid of it is another thing

.

[shwippie]

Really nicely done. I like how realistic it felt (kind of like a seinen manga). I should've guessed what happened when he said,

"I felt like I've slept a hundred years"

, but when it was actually revealed it took me some time to recover from the revelation. Definitely kept me wondering what would happen next and had an impactful ending!

[Donmai]

Finished playing this and found it very well done. I like that there are some different VNs out there (folks like yourself pushing the boundaries and showing us what a VN can do).

Now that makes me think... what/where are the VN boundaries? I don't know. For starters, I see VNs being referred as "Japanese culture", but I'm not exactly an otaku. That's how I chose my forum name: 'Donmai' is japanese slang for "don't mind". I don't mind being a "stranger" in this territory. When I came here two years ago and I saw people talking using a lot of strange words like "yandere", "yaoi", "ecchi", "lolicon" and so on, I thought "WTF" (or in good Portuguese: "PQP"). As my starting work I decided to "play the game by the rules" and so I created yet another japanese highschool drama (Toire No Hanako, see the link in my signature). Just to be awkward I decided to make a VN with no sprites at all .

Sometimes I liked the male characters picture and sometimes I didn't (occasionally I felt his face was too big for the screen but that may just be my preference and it may not overwhelm other viewers).

Hmm... sorry for that. That scene of 'The One in LOVE' when Rashad is having his Arabic breakfast and then his memories start flowing has something to do with Marcel Proust and "À la recherche du temps perdu", but Rashad's big face and expression were in fact inspired by a famous Jimi Hendrix drawing made by Jean "Moebius" Giraud over a not-so-famous 1967 Hendrix photograph.

If you click on the "profile" button under my post, you will see that I am a person from another generation. I was 11 years old when Hendrix was photographed. I was 12 when the Russian tanks crushed the "Prague Spring", a new map of the Midwest was drawn, students occupied the streets of Paris and the asteroid Icarus passed dangerously near the Earth (gosh, it was a distance of only 4 million miles, the whole humanity was (or should be) nervous as I was on June 14, 1968). Finally, I was 13 when the Woodstock Festival rocked the world, the cast of the musical "Hair" was singing "This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius", but the Vietnam war would not stop. Surprisingly enough, despite being very young then, I was paying attention to all those things and through the years I could never forget what I witnessed. Maybe that's why my stories may look so "different": they are born from my personal experiences. When I finished "The One in LOVE" I could see all those things there: the special man with a tragic life, a changing world, the "optimistic a**hole" waiting for an age of "peace and understanding", a "new map of the world being drawn", the neverending war... everything was there, even the asteroid!

I like how realistic it felt (kind of like a seinen manga).

Really ? That's awesome. Hmm... now let me just try to discover what a seinen manga is . And I still don't know exactly what "ecchi" means.

[trooper6]

Just finished this and thought I'd give my review!

First things first, I'll give my biases up front, just like my favorite film reviewer, Mary Ann Johanson.

I am biased (pro): I like sci-fi. I really, really like a VN that doesn't use big-eyed/small-mouthed anime style.
I am biased (con): I don't prefer VNs that don't have choices.

So that said, my review:

I really enjoyed the game quite a lot.
I enjoyed that the two human characters were non-Anglo and were non-Western. I liked the story and I liked the writing (even if there were some awkward bits due to english being your second language...but no big deal). I really enjoyed the artwork and liked what you did to Daz to make it feel not like a 3D set of dolls, but customized painted artwork--I also really liked the lighting. I really loved the detail you put into the programming...the little things like the sounds that are made when you hover over a choice in the menu or the sfx for Lady Lovelace when she speaks. The sound design in general was really good, and the music was also well used. I liked the programming--specifically the transitions between images when changing emotions. I also think the direction/storyboarding/flow of the work is very well done.

My only critiques:
-In the clip where he is walking in front of the anti-immigrant graffiti? I think the graffiti looks too...fresh. I'd have liked it to look a bit more weathered to fit in better with the wall.
-I often thought Rashad was thinking, but then it turned out he was speaking out loud. There was something about the choices made with the text that kept tripping me up.

The following is not a real critique because this is just about my preference: I think it could have been cool to have a bit of interactive choices (that don't effect the linearity of the plot) when doing the test of the three robots. But I know that isn't your thing, so I don't expect you to actually integrate that sort of thing. I just think it would have been neat without detracting from the story you wanted to tell.

[Donmai]

Thank you for your review, Trooper, and for dedicating some time to give me this precious feedback. I would only say there was a reason for the "freshness" of that graffiti: it was not a thing from the past; when I showed Rashad an Nhi Pham walking in front of that wall, it was like they were walking "through" the reality they were facing at that very moment.
Thank you again.

[silverpikachu99]

wow I'm sooo sorry that I didn't add my reply to this or TNH!! My computers been all bleh lately. But anyway-- I must say that this was AWESOME!!!!!!!! The sci-fi element with the awesome art and GUI design was just perfection! i'm glad you made this unique novel awesome job~!!

[Ran08]

Can't believe I haven't replied to this yet. Hahaha. But anyway... this was a great game Donmai! Well, as usual. Hahaha.The plot twist at the end took me by surprise though! I was like, woah. Hahaha. I'm not really a fan of sci-fi, (even though I like writing sci-fi sometimes haha) but I gave this a try since it's your game. And... wooooh, wasn't disappointed. :3 Haha.

Can't wait for your next game~

P.S. As always... longer thoughts here. Hahaha.

[Donmai]

Thank you, Silver, for the kind words.
And thank you for the strawberries, Ran (yum-yum) and for your kind review (and I have to say I can understand your dislikes about the game ).
"Sci-fi for girls"... maybe a new genre? .

[Qkirin]

Hey I registered for this forum just because I want to say here this The One in LOVE looks super awesome!!

Just downloaded it and recommended it to a friend (haven't play it through yet LOL) but your game art is very impressive to me:))) So definitely I'll come back with my feedback. Well Done!!

[Leon296]

Hey ive just played through this and wanted to give it a quick review.
First things first though, Great Job!
Out of many Visual Novels that I have played, commercial and noncommercial, this would rank and out best most of them. Hell it even beats Trigger Happy Dangan ronpa and slightly surpasses y;n (the vn).
What I found amusing
Graphics: Original but familiar in rendering, GUI is OK but it does not distract or avert any attention from the vn. It does the opposite actually. It draws more attention towards the cg's and emphasizes the emotion portrayed in each scene.
Story: Derives sci-fi elements using a plot that has rarely been utilized correctly nowadays. Emptiness and solitude in a world unknown to all.(Physically. not emotionally you emos out there ^^). Usually most vn's use fluff or shall i dare say it BS (Bad Side-stories) to draw attention away from the main plot but somehow you tie it all around the plot twist that was oblivious to most people. I kind of had a feeling that he was sleeping for more than he was supposed to though, heh. Anyways, it derived a similar theme to Wall*e (yeah that pixar movie and another vn that used a similar theme "Adrift".)
Music:Classical and heavy ambience (galactic feeling). Hmm cant say I personally liked the music but it certainly did its job of emphasizing any emotion that needed to be EMPHASIZED!!!. ^^'
Prograamming: Above average, nothing groundbreaking ^^'
Overall: 95 for a short kinetic novel (Really wished for a continuation, choices not needed) 85 for a standard kinetic novel

Side note: I would've preferred humanity destroying itself, as since humans at that time period have the technology to send a space ship capable of self supplying itself with energy that was supposed to last 12 -13 years but instead over 800 years, they probably would've had anti meteor defense protocols since as you stated before in your vn that the ships def had gone improvements (normally this would mean being able to obliterate certain objects, no? Then one can strongly infer that earth has some better def protocols there).
Thus my logic has reasonable standings to it, but does not ruin the story at all if any as the story/tension is more inclined on the man himself than the world around him.
gj anyways. ^^