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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 7:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2012 1:10 pm
Posts: 65
Completed: Clockwork City
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Plot
Enter the world of Clockwork City. Follow a day in the life of Edyta a Roof Runner new to her job, and explore her blossoming friendships in a city full of intrigue and fantasy!
The story begins with Edyta talking into a Chronodict, an audio recording device, leaving a message for her parents that she is safe, and about to being her work, when she is interrupted by Roz, a runner who has two metal hands and lower arms, and, who was the person who trained Edyta to run the rooftops. She is experienced and eager to see the woman do well, but has an intense dislike of those below the rooftops.

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Art, GUI, programming, directing - Badriel
Script - Blind Swordsgirl
Music - Mimiga

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Vignettes; Victorian Olives; Among the distant stars; Spring Breeze; The Human Reignition Project; Idol-Eyes; Pyrite Heart; The Guardian's Spell; Clockwork City; Sakura Spirit; Pyrite Heart; My Little Dictator


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 8:08 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:39 am
Posts: 560
Location: California
Completed: Escaping Sorrow
Projects: Crisis Beat,Lynarsia-The Broken Song
Twitter: @fenrir56
This game looks cool. I'll play it and tell you my thoughts :)

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:45 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 7:02 am
Posts: 57
Woah, this is a short one @@ I mean, really really short
In my opinion, you did a splendid job on the art, GUI and BG ^^ I love the color you used
Umm, but the story is too short and there are quite lots of words in one turn so it kinda hard for me to get the story. Your description is good but I think you should lessen the number of words show up
Thank you for the game ^^

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 1:32 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:27 am
Posts: 692
Location: California
Completed: http://art.jphi.me/projects
Projects: Umbra, Familiarity, Maleficent Justice
Organization: spaceNote
Twitter: @chocojaxgogo
Tumblr: chocojax
Github: jenniferphi
GUI/Art:
- Oh wow, the animations were neat. SFXs were nice as well.
- Wish there were more poses, but hey, you guys made this in a month.
- Seems strange to have the sprites there at the beginning of the running scene?
- Backgrounds are really nice!

Music:
- Pretty comfy. Props to the musician, I like it.

Writing:
- So much flirting already. :O
- Ohhh god so much romance
- Over so quickly!
- Roz seems so mean, but then again, overprotective.
- Edyta overreacts a lot! :0
- Over again so quickly! :0

Typos/bugs/etc:
- Various sentences lost their periods:
- "I let out a triumphant whoop as I leaped up onto the next rooftop, turning back to face Roz"
- "The boy coughed, and glanced to one side"
- "there was to be no monkey business"
- "splashed against the male, soaking him completely"
- "Don't get yourself killed or anything, it'd make me look bad"
- "Uh.. you know.. I've never seen" two period ellipses instead of three? Various times where this happened.
- "Rough sounding man" didn't have a namebox? Which was kinda weird, but it might've been intentional?


It was pretty cute, although a tad bit rushed. Either way, congrats to you guys for finishing so quickly!

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 1:59 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2012 1:10 pm
Posts: 65
Completed: Clockwork City
chocojax wrote:
GUI/Art:
- Oh wow, the animations were neat. SFXs were nice as well.
- Wish there were more poses, but hey, you guys made this in a month.
- Seems strange to have the sprites there at the beginning of the running scene?
- Backgrounds are really nice!

Music:
- Pretty comfy. Props to the musician, I like it.

Writing:
- So much flirting already. :O
- Ohhh god so much romance
- Over so quickly!
- Roz seems so mean, but then again, overprotective.
- Edyta overreacts a lot! :0
- Over again so quickly! :0


It was pretty cute, although a tad bit rushed. Either way, congrats to you guys for finishing so quickly!

scorlight wrote:
Woah, this is a short one @@ I mean, really really short
In my opinion, you did a splendid job on the art, GUI and BG ^^ I love the color you used
Umm, but the story is too short and there are quite lots of words in one turn so it kinda hard for me to get the story. Your description is good but I think you should lessen the number of words show up
Thank you for the game ^^


Thanks for the feedback!
Yes, it's short, and could be polished. However I've made a point to finish it on time for nanoreno. I might work on it eventually, giving all the characters proper development and expand the story to make it a full, long VN. There were a lot of things we've wanted to put in, but couldn't due to the time limitations. Our team was rather small too. I might release a version with fixed typos and some of the elements mentioned later this month, though.
I must admit, nanoreno is an extremely exhausting event, but also a fantastic experience.

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The projects I've had the pleasure to be working on:
Knifepoint Horror; Memento Vivere; Memories of Summer Winds; Urban Life; Kako no Koi; Coming out on top; Kendo Crush!;
Vignettes; Victorian Olives; Among the distant stars; Spring Breeze; The Human Reignition Project; Idol-Eyes; Pyrite Heart; The Guardian's Spell; Clockwork City; Sakura Spirit; Pyrite Heart; My Little Dictator


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:20 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:39 pm
Posts: 4171
Hmmm, this really needs to be a longer game.

What's a Dray? I almost want to think some human-automaton cyborg, but then they're supposed to be lower-class?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:22 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2012 1:10 pm
Posts: 65
Completed: Clockwork City
DaFool wrote:
Hmmm, this really needs to be a longer game.

Maybe one day.
DaFool wrote:
What's a Dray? I almost want to think some human-automaton cyborg, but then they're supposed to be lower-class?

Dray are one of the humanoid races living in that world. They're used to the thin air on the rooftops of the clockwork city, so they're working as couriers and builders. They do all sort of the works humans won't dare to, and often suffer from accidents, which result in losing a limb, or life. They're not highly esteemed by humans.

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The projects I've had the pleasure to be working on:
Knifepoint Horror; Memento Vivere; Memories of Summer Winds; Urban Life; Kako no Koi; Coming out on top; Kendo Crush!;
Vignettes; Victorian Olives; Among the distant stars; Spring Breeze; The Human Reignition Project; Idol-Eyes; Pyrite Heart; The Guardian's Spell; Clockwork City; Sakura Spirit; Pyrite Heart; My Little Dictator


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 10:59 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2014 11:03 am
Posts: 4
Thanks for the feedback everyone :D I appreciate it, and I'm glad that the general consensus is that it was fun to play through. This is my first time ever writing a visual novel, and a ReNo no less. It was very fun, but veeery hectic @_@ It was very daunting, and a little shocking when Badriel approached me about making a novel, but I am so, SO glad I said yes now. The experience was amazing, the art is just stunning and the music, oh my gosh, I can't even believe I'm associated with something so visually and audibly beautiful.

As for extending/making a fuller game, I would absolutely love to. I think it'd take a bit of time to concept something bigger than the events in Clockwork City, and I'd definitely want to work with at least one more writer, but perhaps it could occur, at some time, in the future.

All in all, considering I haven't even been registered to this site for a month yet.. I'm pretty proud of my part of this little game. I can't wait to make some more, and I definitely would love to work with Badriel and Mimiga again.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:36 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:13 pm
Posts: 2078
Location: Philippines
Organization: Studio Mugenjohncel
Twitter: @oelvn
OK let's start with... "Why can't this be longer!?"

While I really have don't much to say about story-wise nor artwise, both of which are OK, the GUI and the way it was presented is really superb and is something that has captivated me... the subtle moving dissolve effects, the crackling minor sounds and the way each and every component of the GUI interacts with each other is just... how should I say this... I'm envious... these are some of the things I've been dying to learn for a long long time now. But if I'm going to be hard pressed to find any faults, it would be the text in the Dialogue Box being way to small and cluttered together making it really hard to read especially since the font is heavily serif-fed...

All in all congratulations on finishing an extremely polished project in such a short and limited time span... :)

"POOF" (Disappears)

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:48 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2012 1:10 pm
Posts: 65
Completed: Clockwork City
mugenjohncel wrote:
OK let's start with... "Why can't this be longer!?"

While I really have don't much to say about story-wise nor artwise, both of which are OK, the GUI and the way it was presented is really superb and is something that has captivated me... the subtle moving dissolve effects, the crackling minor sounds and the way each and every component of the GUI interacts with each other is just... how should I say this... I'm envious... these are some of the things I've been dying to learn for a long long time now. But if I'm going to be hard pressed to find any faults, it would be the text in the Dialogue Box being way to small and cluttered together making it really hard to read especially since the font is heavily serif-fed...

All in all congratulations on finishing an extremely polished project in such a short and limited time span... :)

"POOF" (Disappears)

Haha, fun fact: I've learned those effects from this tutorial viewtopic.php?f=51&t=22565
Although, I didn't really use imagebuttons here, just buttons. Nevertheless, the coding should be the same.

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The projects I've had the pleasure to be working on:
Knifepoint Horror; Memento Vivere; Memories of Summer Winds; Urban Life; Kako no Koi; Coming out on top; Kendo Crush!;
Vignettes; Victorian Olives; Among the distant stars; Spring Breeze; The Human Reignition Project; Idol-Eyes; Pyrite Heart; The Guardian's Spell; Clockwork City; Sakura Spirit; Pyrite Heart; My Little Dictator


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:42 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:33 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Moved.
This game was surprisingly flirty in the beginning between the two girls. Was there a reason for the lost limbs or is that how their born? This is my first play through, and I just wanted to stop by to say the animation is interesting while I'm finishing this round. I like how the background seems to scroll while they are running. The art work is lovely and suits the game's design well to me. Color wise it is easy on the eyes. The only thing I could think of is possibly more poses, such as when she's supposed to be playing with her hair. Other then that, great job!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:11 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:17 am
Posts: 75
Location: In wonderland
Wish it was a bit longer than it was, but it was a really cute and interesting story! :D
The art was really amazing too, I really liked Nikolai since he was kind of cute and cool :3 But it would have been good if people could get a little more information about the story. Sorry to say that I got kind of lost at some parts, but really nice work anyway.
Good job! Hope that you make more works like this :)


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 2:20 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:39 am
Posts: 560
Location: California
Completed: Escaping Sorrow
Projects: Crisis Beat,Lynarsia-The Broken Song
Twitter: @fenrir56
Cool game. Just wish it was a bit longer. Still, the story was cool and the art is really beautiful. Good job :)

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:44 pm
Posts: 431
Location: southeastern PA
Just downloaded and played through - several times, to see where all the branches led me. The artwork is quite nice, as is the story, and I just hate to echo some of the other comments, but darn it, it was too short! Seems like many of the VN's that I really like are that way. Oh well, good job!

philip

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 5:32 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:15 am
Posts: 921
Location: Cantankerous Castle
Completed: The Loop, The Madness
Projects: In Orbit, TBA
Organization: Gliese Productions
Thought you might like to know that our PR Officer did a review on Clockwork City at our website: http://gliese.vnovel.com/?p=375

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