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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:17 am
Posts: 7
Projects: Ten years of sleep
Organization: Vysoko Anime Production
I'm glad to announce that Ten Years of Sleep - Prologue is now available for the first platform. It's now on iTunes free for all iPad users:

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https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/ten-years-of-sleep-prologue/id914295113?ls=1&mt=8


Windows port is in the works.

https://twitter.com/BunnyJessican
https://twitter.com/VysokoAnime

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What is Ten Years of Sleep?

It's a Sci-Fi visual novel for those who travel by Milan Kazarka.

Ten Years of Sleep Prologue is an introduction to a series which takes place in the distant future.

The main character, Sam, is a space pilot and a knight. She is someone who wishes to explore, travel through the galaxy and doesn't feel at ease when back home, on Earth. She feels more free in the depths of space.

During one mission Sam has an accident and she crash lands on a remote planet. From this point on a set of mysterious events take place which lead her to take action.

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Story & Production by Milan Kazarka
Illustrations are by Jorge Murillo & Xavier Henry
The Soundtrack is done by https://soundcloud.com/soimanislander Søren Nissen Jørgensen

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Here are some screenshots:

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Soundtrack by https://soundcloud.com/soimanislander Søren Nissen Jørgensen







[youtube][/youtube]


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:32 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:25 pm
Posts: 155
Projects: A+ Switch! (Visual Novel)
Looks really interesting!
I'll try it out when I get home ^-^


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 6:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:17 am
Posts: 7
Projects: Ten years of sleep
Organization: Vysoko Anime Production
piichimi wrote:
Looks really interesting!
I'll try it out when I get home ^-^


Thanks ^_^ I appreciate that!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:01 pm 
Lemma-Class Veteran
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Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:50 pm
Posts: 2179
Location: NYC
Completed: Icebound, Selenon Rising Ep. 1
Projects: Selenon Rising Ep. 2-4
Organization: Fastermind Games
Twitter: @vnwriter
Deviantart: sundownkid
I tried out the game, myself. Here are my thoughts:

Graphic wise, the game looks good. The character art and the backgrounds are well-drawn. The only thing I have qualms with is the lack of transitions. Stuff like teleportation could have used a fade or dissolve transition, and also going from the planet to the ship, or coming out of a dream sequence.

UI wise there are several issues. Firstly, the text doesn't start from the same place and then go down, it starts from the bottom and pops up. This can make it a little disorienting, especially since the names of the people go up like 3 lines from when they appear. The name text is also small, which makes it hard to read. All the name text is the same color - there could have been different colors for different people. Finally, it would be nice if there was a clear "back" button to avoid people going forward accidentally when they wanted to go back.

The plot is where there are serious issues, though. The main issue is that it is simply not localized that well; it needs more proofreading. There are numerous grammatical errors, tense problems and use of the wrong words where it could flow a lot better. The structure is sound, but it doesn't read well at all due to the mistranslations. I highly recommend getting someone to heavily proofread and edit it to sound better in English.

Another issue I had was that there was a lack of descriptions of external action. It needed more narration of what she was doing, besides the internal monologue of her thoughts. I recommend having some way to distinguish between her thoughts and words, too. It would probably be best not to have any name text there when she is thinking, so it would be just the words.

(An example would be right after the explosion. Currently it goes like:

"BOOM!"
S: "The engine? It can't be a complete meltdown. I wasn't hit by anything, the atmosphere is about right."

However, it would be a lot better if it were something like:

"BOOM!"
"A massive sound erupts from the ship, sending a wave of heat towards me and knocking me off my feet. I fall to the ground, trying to get my bearings."
S: "The engine?!"
"It's the only thing that could cause such an explosion... but, it doesn't make sense. I wasn't hit by anything, and there weren't any technical problems."
)

Finally, the choices could have been done better. It's really annoying that the first choice is to examine my ship, but I die instantly if I do so. I thought the main character was a trained spacefarer, she could have noticed the warning signs and stayed away, but instead it forced me to restart. In my opinion these sort of trick choices that lead to a game over or an early ending shouldn't be included at all, since it's just annoying to the player if they didn't save. Either give a full, different branch of the story, or have it tie back into the story via a different way without a game over.

_________________
Buy Icebound!
Buy Selenon Rising!


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