Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

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Harrison Barton
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Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#1 Post by Harrison Barton » Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:47 am

null
Last edited by Harrison Barton on Wed Nov 13, 2019 8:34 pm, edited 4 times in total.
I'm a game(???) developer(???)

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Mad Harlequin
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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#2 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:45 pm

I've been waiting for this one! I'll have feedback for you as soon as possible. :)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#3 Post by Ran08 » Sun Aug 17, 2014 2:46 am

Why do I feel like I've played this before...? Haha. Have you released a demo of this in the past?

Anyway, congratulations on the release! :)

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#4 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sun Aug 17, 2014 2:52 am

Yes, there was a demo released. I found and played it not too long ago, which is why I remember this project!
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#5 Post by pocoscon » Sun Aug 17, 2014 12:08 pm

I'd really like to play this game, but for some reason it's not working when I download. I think it's the site. Is there anyway you could have another source of download? If not, it's okay.
Black Lotus(A work in progress)- (BxB,Horror,Thriller,Fantasy) Tells the story of a boy who must save his home and friends from dangerous creatures known as the Tainted. http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=28588


Catching the Sun(A work in progress)- (GxG,Slice of Life,Friendship,Drama)

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=29404

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Harrison Barton
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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#6 Post by Harrison Barton » Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:45 pm

pocoscon wrote:I'd really like to play this game, but for some reason it's not working when I download. I think it's the site. Is there anyway you could have another source of download? If not, it's okay.
Sorry to hear that! There's another mirror available on gamejolt for both Mac & PC versions:

http://gamejolt.com/games/strategy-sim/ ... try/32414/

Let me know if it still doesn't go through, and I can send the the game to you directly.
I'm a game(???) developer(???)

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#7 Post by pocoscon » Sun Aug 17, 2014 9:46 pm

Harrison Barton wrote:
pocoscon wrote:I'd really like to play this game, but for some reason it's not working when I download. I think it's the site. Is there anyway you could have another source of download? If not, it's okay.
Sorry to hear that! There's another mirror available on gamejolt for both Mac & PC versions:

http://gamejolt.com/games/strategy-sim/ ... try/32414/

Let me know if it still doesn't go through, and I can send the the game to you directly.
Thank you so much. it worked :mrgreen: . I'll play it as soon as I can ^^
Black Lotus(A work in progress)- (BxB,Horror,Thriller,Fantasy) Tells the story of a boy who must save his home and friends from dangerous creatures known as the Tainted. http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=28588


Catching the Sun(A work in progress)- (GxG,Slice of Life,Friendship,Drama)

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=29404

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#8 Post by Karl_C » Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:53 pm

Harrison Barton wrote:
pocoscon wrote:There's another mirror available on gamejolt for both Mac & PC versions
No Linux version available?

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#9 Post by Harrison Barton » Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:43 am

Karl_C wrote:
Harrison Barton wrote:
pocoscon wrote:There's another mirror available on gamejolt for both Mac & PC versions
No Linux version available?
I spaced on that completely, here it is:

http://www.mediafire.com/download/q7mbe ... 86.tar.bz2
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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#10 Post by Harrison Barton » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:22 pm

Forgot to mention this, but if you'd like to leave personal feedback outside of the comments section, feel free to email me at:

spyrosmithy@gmail.com
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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#11 Post by Karl_C » Fri Aug 22, 2014 4:00 pm

Harrison Barton wrote:
I spaced on that completely, here it is:

http://www.mediafire.com/download/q7mbe ... 86.tar.bz2
Thank you! ;)

I hope I'll find some time to play it this weekend.

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#12 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sat Aug 23, 2014 5:18 pm

Well, I gave this a read/play. It's decent, though to be honest, the POV-switching makes the story much more interesting to me than it probably would have been otherwise. I feel the writing could use a good polishing. Teenage colloquialisms aside, I noticed quite a few errors in mechanics.

Also, Jayne's tag is too bright a green. And during the introduction to the trip, I think I saw Isaac accidentally describe himself when he meant Maya. (Or vice versa. I forget which.)
1. Why did Violet just disappear? I felt that she should have had more of a presence, but she never did.

2. Vivi's characterization seems a bit flat. It's almost as if she existed only as a foil to Maya, and so Laird could have a girlfriend before coming out.

3. I wasn't sold on Jayne's suicide at all. I get that he had a problematic relationship with his father, but it wasn't reinforced enough prior to the ending for it to be believable.
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#13 Post by Harrison Barton » Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:54 pm

Mad Harlequin wrote:Well, I gave this a read/play. It's decent, though to be honest, the POV-switching makes the story much more interesting to me than it probably would have been otherwise. I feel the writing could use a good polishing. Teenage colloquialisms aside, I noticed quite a few errors in mechanics.

Also, Jayne's tag is too bright a green. And during the introduction to the trip, I think I saw Isaac accidentally describe himself when he meant Maya. (Or vice versa. I forget which.)
1. Why did Violet just disappear? I felt that she should have had more of a presence, but she never did.

2. Vivi's characterization seems a bit flat. It's almost as if she existed only as a foil to Maya, and so Laird could have a girlfriend before coming out.

3. I wasn't sold on Jayne's suicide at all. I get that he had a problematic relationship with his father, but it wasn't reinforced enough prior to the ending for it to be believable.
Thanks for the honest feedback, I really do appreciate it. :wink:

I'll respond directly under the spoiler tags below.
Man, that POV switching thing really could get hairy at times under the hood, I should have guessed there were pronoun errors I missed. I actually wrote and programmed each chapter at the same time, I'd typically write Maya's section first, then do Isaac. It made me cross eyed, especially nearing the end. x.X

1. Yeah, I think originally she was going to be a more prominent character, but a lot of her scenes ended up getting cut from the final product. She was supposed to show up and become plot relevant near the end of the game (as was Jayne's dad actually) but it ended up being not worth it to spend an extra month concepting their characters. She ended up being just sort of an ear for Isaac's insecurities...which wasn't bad , but wasn't really that good either. Given more time I would've liked to have had her in the story more.

2. Yeah I agree, she really didn't have much of a character arc, or really solid development. I ended up focusing more on the relationship between Maya, Isaac and Jayne then the other characters, which you probably noticed. I regret that actually, she's a cool character
, and probably one of the more fun to write of the lot. It didn't end up being her story for whatever reason. I might come back to her character in the future in some form or another, she has an interesting story I'd still like to tell.

3. This was the part of the story I felt the least strong about. It'd been roughly 8 or so months in the making, and I really wanted to finish the fucking thing. I knew the end well ahead of time, but I had a hard time with the build to the end. Depending on what path you play, I think it can and cannot be better or worse. All the Paths which have Chapter 7 end with Jayne crying in the park kind of set up the scene for his eventual not-so-happy ending, but if you get some of the other paths it becomes a bit less alluded to. (Especially the funnier ones, including the Noir-Scene with Maya and the bad movie scene with Laird). I think the car crash was meant as half-intent, half-accident, but it wasn't strongly communicated that way. I wasn't super happy with it, but I knew that had to be how it ended.
I hope to do better on my next VN. You seem like a cool enough guy, If you ever wanted to help with editing on any future projects, that would be awesome. (I fucking DETEST self editing.)

But yeah, thanks again.
Last edited by Harrison Barton on Wed Nov 13, 2019 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mad Harlequin
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Re: Lines of Symmetry [GxB/BxG][Slice of Life]

#14 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sun Aug 24, 2014 7:58 pm

Harrison Barton wrote:I hope to do better on my next VN. You seem like a cool enough guy, If you ever wanted to help with editing on any future projects, that would be awesome. (I fucking DETEST self editing.)

But yeah, thanks again.
No problem! If you ever need a second pair of eyes to look over future work, feel free to PM me. :)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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