Dejection: An Ode [KN, one-sided GxG, historical]

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Ghost of Crux
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Re: Dejection: An Ode [KN, one-sided GxG, historical]

#16 Post by Ghost of Crux » Wed Feb 03, 2016 4:09 pm

I had to admit: I read this KN because you said it was based on two poets, so I decided to download it.
Let's just say I saw "AU in which Enjolras and Grantaire are poets and friends" instead of poets pls do not kill

First of all, I l o v e what you do with the music. I think the choices you made were great, and the main menu music puts me in the mood so well I almost didn't want to leave it. I love that you added the birds chirping, too, and I feel like you pulled everything together perfectly in terms of atmosphere. I loved reading it, despite the length, and even though I was never a fan of cutesy female sprites sorry it's a style I try to move away from I actually love how much it conveys emotions in this KN. It gives everything a more approachable feel, in a way, because the subject matter of having depression centuries ago is nooot an easy topic to talk about, and I think the more expressive faces make this both easier to take in and simultaneously a lot more horrible, because it's just. HEART ON SLEEVES. PAIN. It's the honesty that makes this more heart-wrenching, and I think you did a good job of writing the narrative.

Now that I'm done gushing-- if you want critiques, well xD
While I like what you did with the text box, having a bit of a padding on the left side would be nice. The text feels very stretched off to the side, sometimes. I'd go for a different font, too, if only to match the decor. Since I read in your previous post that it was actually a decor from one of the anthology (though pardon me if I am remembering wrong), it's probably more apt to change the font rather than the GUI. I liked the save menu, though, along with the preferences-- It's simple and really effective, and it matches the simplicity of the KN in general. The background is great too-- it supports the almost calm-and-sweet air the KN gives, despite its heavy content.

There is little I don't like about this KN, to be honest. It's literally just the font choice. I even love the background music, and I'm usually DEAF to those things-- I often don't understand how music influence a scene, nor do I mind what music usually plays (unless there's a glaring dissonance). I just.

This is great. Thank you.
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deathsmellz
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Re: Dejection: An Ode [KN, one-sided GxG, historical]

#17 Post by deathsmellz » Thu Feb 04, 2016 12:47 am

Downloading!! This looks great!

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Re: Dejection: An Ode [KN, one-sided GxG, historical]

#18 Post by ebi-hime » Thu Feb 04, 2016 2:01 pm

@ Ghost
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!

Ah, the music is all stock music XD; I can't remember where I got most of it now...
Probably Amachamusic, I really like their stuff.
Yeah, talking about mental health, esp when a story is set a few centuries ago, is tricky, since back then there wasn't the same understanding of mental health and some terms we use now didn't exist back then! I'm sure Coleridge was bipolar but this diagnosis didn't exist in the 1800s.

Maybe a serif font would suit the olde timey mood/writing of the story more, haha XD; I don't think I put that much thought into it - even though picking fonts is important >_>; I always worry if they're not readable enough though.

But thank you! >///<

@ deathsmellz
Thank you, I hope you enjoy it! : >
I have a lot of commercial VNs available on Steam here if you wanna check! u///u
With a yandere dating sim, a moemoe moege about cute grills and food, a sad GxG story, a sad GxB story, there should be something for everyone <3

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DrSchizo
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Re: Dejection: An Ode [KN, one-sided GxG, historical]

#19 Post by DrSchizo » Thu Jul 14, 2016 7:58 pm

You can now play online to Dejection: An Ode: http://sandbox-adventure.com/dejection.html

The game is in full HTML5 so there is no need to download or install anything.
You have to register to save your game but not to play the game.

While in game, you can hit F1 to display a list of available shortcuts.

You can find more information about Sandbox Adventure Engine on this thread.

Enjoy this lovely game!

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Re: Dejection: An Ode [KN, one-sided GxG, historical]

#20 Post by SeaOtter » Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:51 am

Hello

I just read through your visual novel. Its was actually quite enjoyable. I say this with hesitation because the 'conclusion' wasn't very fulfilling at all to me. Given that we spent so much of the novel empathizing with Sam, it felt rather defeating to .. well, you know. But after reading your notes and petting my cat a little, I turned my opinion around a little. Although the relationship between Lillian and Sam is not healthy, the two are very human character. Their imperfections create tension and confusion yet they learn to get past it. Amidst the sadness we find genuine moments of happiness between the two.

Your analogy/contrast with Wordsworth and Coleridge (though I know nothing of them) is extremely apt. Every interaction between Sam and Lillian is such a conflict of character and emotion. There is no resolution--only the falling in and out of depression/writer's block. Yet there is beauty in that. I appreciate works that don't necessarily focus on getting perfect relationships.

Those are most of my thoughts. As for the GUI, music, art, etc. I don't have too much comment. They are fitting.

Also, if I may make a suggestion: I would have loved to see more verses and lines of poetry. Unless you did... and I didn't notice. Haha.

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Re: Dejection: An Ode [KN, one-sided GxG, historical]

#21 Post by ebi-hime » Sun Jul 31, 2016 4:26 am

@ SeaOtter

Yeah, the ending is meant to be quite an unfulfilling downer end... kind of like Coleridge and Wordsworth in real life, I guess XD;
Well, I'm fond of unfulfilling endings in general, so it's rare for me to write ends that are actually happy... Sad stuff is more fun to write orz

The title itself is taken from a Coleridge poem, but I'm not sure if I referenced too much poetry within the body of the text itself. From what I remember, some of the story was based on Coleridge's attempts to write more poems for his 'joint' collab w/ Wordsworth, Lyrical Ballads - of which he, in the end, contributed a whopping 5. Gj Coleridge...
I have a lot of commercial VNs available on Steam here if you wanna check! u///u
With a yandere dating sim, a moemoe moege about cute grills and food, a sad GxG story, a sad GxB story, there should be something for everyone <3

/ shameless plugging

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