Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

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michan
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#46 Post by michan » Sat Dec 20, 2014 9:09 pm

Hey there! I was shallow and mainly dl'ed the game because I found Trash's sprites sexy. (And the title 'Aloners' didn't exactly inspire me to expect much...)

BUT!

... The writing. Good Lord, the writing. The narrative is exceptionally well-paced, the dialogue witty, and the characters relatable. I felt the same way stumbling across this gem as any Scav would've felt stumbling across... er, any modern shopping mall before the world went kablooey.

And Trash
/Carlito
is simply irresistible. He's smug, he's cocky, he's funny as heck,
he's apparently freaked by (dead) rats,
and I love, love, love him to bits. (Also screencapping his topless sprites and CGs, but... yeah.) It says much for the way you wrote him that, 'though I still think it's kinda too convenient that
Trash survived the red cloud unscathed just by covering his face with his shirt (so why hasn't anybody else???), I was genuinely too happy to see him alive
to really, y'know, care.

Having a player character with so many snarky/aggressive options (that DON'T automatically flag you for a bad end) is also a total plus. I replayed the game a few more times just so I could get all the dialogue, often without skipping the stuff I've already read (it's that good).

Oh, yeah, and the plentiful skinship options are <3, too.

TL; DR

Based on the writing, Trash, skinship, and the protagonist's snark potential, I'd rate this an excellent VN. The music's also nice (
though TBH in some scenes I went 'LOL porno music', but then it's probably because my mind's eternally stuck in the gutter
and yeah now I know it's by Kevin MacLeod so forgive me forgive me forgive me!). Great job!

And just in case you're planning to update/re-release this game, here are a few stuff...

Typos (that were spotted only because I've replayed this VN way too many times to count)...
seperate -> separate
ocassional -> occasional
plants his hands either side of your hips -> plants his hands >on either side of your hips
Gamma is sat at a table by the door -> Gamma is sitting at a table by the door
T-to get the second-hand store! -> T-to get >to the second-hand store!

... also,
at the part when the player writes her name on the mirror, ever considered providing alternate reactions for Trash if the player says her name is 'Trash', 'Can', 'Hope', 'Billy', 'Maddy', 'PlayerName', 'Not A Mutie', etc.?
Much love, thank you so much for this, and am looking forward to your future projects!

Happy Holidays! :lol:
Last edited by michan on Tue Dec 23, 2014 12:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#47 Post by victorita9 » Tue Dec 23, 2014 4:09 am

I really like Aloners. I used to love most visual novels, but as I get older I find myself wanting to read more mature games. This game checked off a lot of boxes that I want in a game.

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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#48 Post by Larite » Tue Dec 23, 2014 7:31 am

I finished the game yesterday and i fell in love with it. It was very mature story and something, that i really didn't expected to see. Most wonderful parts for me were the strong and believable heroine, Trash's personality (he felt like a real man, it means so much!), their relationship, that changes with time, your writing for sure... Well, i can just tell, that love ALL about this game :D But my favorite part is growing characters. It's so nice to see how they changing (in better ways!) with a story.
So thank you very much for this novel! It's great and i'm sure, that i shall replay it more than one time in a future :)

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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#49 Post by sonnet009 » Fri Jan 02, 2015 6:15 pm

ColaCat:

No problem! I'm already working on my next game, but it's early days yet, so it's all very hush-hush. ;-)

sasquatchii:

Ahh, thanks for letting me know about the self-voicing feature. That's pretty darn cool! And I'm so glad that you enjoyed Aloners so much! As a fellow post-apocalyptic fan, I tooootally encourage you to make your own P-A VN! It's such an interesting setting, with so many possibilities.
I understand your feelings on the lack of full sprites for Gamma and Alpha. Of course, it was partly a budget thing, considering that Aloners is a free game. However, it was also a decision I made to fit with the central theme of "aloneness". For the majority of the game, Trash is the only other person you ever see. Even with the introduction of new characters, I wanted to encourage players to keep their bond with Trash strong, hence the silhouettes. Still, I can understand that the realism takes a hit because of that. It's a hit I decided I'd have to take. But thank you so much for that generous offer!
Decadenttia:

Oh, wow. Thank you so very, very much! It's the best feeling, to know that the trouble you went through during development has totally paid off and people are now actually enjoying the game you made. I'm glad that you had so much fun with it.
Haha! Cabin Fever was one of the most enjoyable chapters to write. Locking two characters in a room until they start driving each other crazy is just so... so much fun!
blusand97:

I'm so happy that you were touched by the game. :-) This is such lovely feedback to get -- thank you so much for making an account to tell me!
The scene where they get lost in the red cloud was a tough one. I mean, specifically the reunion in the barn. It was so clear in my head, yet so difficult to get down right in the actual script. But as long as the relief and affection came through okay, then I guess I didn't mess it up too badly. And you've basically nailed it regarding the lack of other sprites. I knew it would be potentially distracting, but it was important that Trash and "your" connection with him always remained the focus of things.
Alia:

Thanks! Yeah, that delicate balance between "enough knowledge to get by" and "not enough knowledge to understand everything" was a big part of creating Aloners. It's frustrating to have so many unanswered questions, but... well. That's the unfortunate reality for the main character. heh.

Spoilers and potentially upsetting subject matter below:
Regarding Alpha's threats: Hm. I can sort of see what you mean. He certainly wouldn't be one to mince his words. However, the threat of using MC for breeding is only brought up a couple of times, and I don't think having him explicitly say that his men would rape MC would have improved the flow of the script. I don't think he would ever have used that exact word, since he wouldn't even think of it as rape; as a crime -- he is a bandit, but he sees himself as more of a "visionary" with all his talk of building a new world. He'd be more likely to call it "unfortunate" or "duty" or "necessity", in his gross, superior way.
Elze:

Thanks so much for the feedback! It was important that people could roleplay (mostly) as they wanted without worrying that they wouldn't get the best outcome, so I'm glad that you liked that aspect. And I'll pass along your kudos to the artist. She's amazing, isn't she?

Bellethiel:

Ah, you're one of the ones I kept waiting for ages, eh? Sorry 'bout that! ;-) I'm glad that you liked the relationship between the characters and the sense of danger. Post-apocalyptic stories are good for things like that, aren't they?
It seems like you definitely got the good ending! ...Uh. You could go for the bad ending anyway, eh? I mean, come on. How bad could it be? *evil laughter*
AeraMillenia:

Wow, thank you! I'm glad that my amazing artist's amazing artwork managed to draw you in. ;-) And stomach flutters were exactly what I was aiming for with certain moments, so I'm glad that they seem to have worked. (Also, you're right -- it is called "second person"!)
For future reference, you can actually be as mean to Trash as you like and still get the good ending. Weird, eh?
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#50 Post by sonnet009 » Fri Jan 02, 2015 6:36 pm

Angie:

Thank you! Hehe, I guess it's a good thing that the game is longer than you thought?

aRLegOdDesS:

Whoa. Thank you very much! :-D

Wisp:

Aw, well, I'm glad you were able to play. And super, super glad that the relationship came across as realistic. That was definitely the aim, so it's a relief to know that you felt that way!

Sharane:

Well, thank you very much for giving such lovely, touching feedback. It's great to hear that you got so into it! :-D Can't stop grinning now.

baabaa:

Eee! Thank you, and I'm glad you thought so. :-D

victorita9:

Haha! It's super fun to play Aloners as a tsundere. Just what is it about Trash that makes him so much fun to mess with, eh? ;-)

Mirielle:

Aww, you're welcome, and thank you very much. It's so nice to hear that the MC felt three-dimensional. I hoped that I gave enough choices to make her "your own" without leaving too much up to the imagination and therefore leaving her a bit... flat. It was a tough balance.
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#51 Post by sonnet009 » Fri Jan 02, 2015 6:55 pm

Junesong:

Wooow. Thank you! I don't even know what to say, I'm just so overwhelmed. You've totally made my... well, at least my week. Such nice things to say. You're so sweet!

Bianchii:

Ahhh, thank you, thank you! I can't even express how awesome it feels to be told that your writing affected someone so much. Just... thank you.
The barn scene was hard to get just right, emotion-wise. I'm glad that you liked it! That's a big relief.
Rinima:

Ooh, hope it was worth the wait!

michan:

Haha! Well, I'm not exactly always "un-shallow" when choosing VNs, so I can't judge. ;-) But, obviously, I'm crazy happy that you thought so highly of the writing, and of Trash. *glows*
Yeah, Trash surviving the red cloud is obviously a "convenient for the plot" sort of thing, rather than particularly realistic. If it makes it any easier to swallow, I will say that Trash is, canonically, an incredibly strong, healthy young man, and would be able to survive the cloud longer than most other people.
And thank you so much for catching those errors! I've made a note of them, and will be putting them in an updated version eventually. Greatly appreciated! And, you know, it never occurred to me to have Trash react to certain names. That... that would've been really good. Damn! heh heh.

victorita9:

I'm glad! I am constantly wishing to play more mature games, myself, so it's great to hear that this hit the spot for you.

Larite:

Thank you for this lovely feedback. :-) All of the things you mentioned -- the believable heroine, Trash's personality, their relationship, character development -- these were all very important to me when I was writing the script, so it's great to know that you appreciated them. Means I didn't mess it up, right? ;-)
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#52 Post by ColaCat » Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:02 pm

Ah! Now you've gone and got me excited!
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#53 Post by SilverSnow » Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:35 am

Nooo! Can't believe I've missed this! Congrats for the full version although I know it's a bit late for saying this :D Downloading now ^^
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#54 Post by champignonkinoko » Tue Jan 13, 2015 2:39 am

I've finished the game a couple of days ago, and of course there'd be a Lemmasoft thread for me to express my awe!!

This is such a great game, it was engaging from the start straight to the end. Maybe because there weren't many characters in the game, but I could see each character's depth beautifully illustrated through dialogue, narration, and sprites :)

Thank you for the great game! It really ups the level of expectation for VNs in general!

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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#55 Post by sonnet009 » Sat Jan 17, 2015 8:34 pm

SilverSnow:

Thank you very much! It was quite the journey to get here. ;-)

champignonkinoko:

I really appreciate you taking the time to say that. :) A big part of the game hinges on the player making some kind of connection with Trash, and the incredibly small cast means that you get a lot of time to bond with him. Thank you for playing and for giving feedback!
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#56 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sat Jan 17, 2015 9:34 pm

Okay . . . I read this fairly recently but only remembered to post feedback now! Oops.

Anyway, I loved Aloners. The writing is quite good. I saw a few typos and other small issues that (unfortunately) I can't list off the top of my head, but they can be easily fixed in a future release, should you choose to do so.

While Trash's encounter with the red cloud did make me raise an eyebrow, I didn't dismiss it as completely impossible. I got the feeling that he may be special in a way, just as the protagonist is, and thematically, his survival is important to the story.

Well done! I haven't enjoyed a visual novel this much in a long time.
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#57 Post by Angie » Sun Jan 18, 2015 10:41 am

sonnet009 wrote:Angie:

Thank you! Hehe, I guess it's a good thing that the game is longer than you thought?
Yeah! There is often a moment in games when they end and I wish there was more content; in your game I was fully satisfied with how long it was, and everything I really wanted to know was there (maybe beside more details about zombies, but I guess it wasn't as important). So yup! I wish to see more games like this~! :D
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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#58 Post by Mad Harlequin » Wed Jan 21, 2015 3:19 am

I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#59 Post by sonnet009 » Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:16 pm

Angie:

I'm very glad! Nothing's worse than that feeling of, "Is... is that it? Huh." ;-)

Mad Harlequin:

Thanks for the feedback! I'm collecting all the typos and errors I find, and that helpful players find, and I'll be putting out an updated version some time in the future.
Trash surviving the red cloud is pretty plot convenient, for sure, but you're right that he's "special" like the MC, in that they're both very strong and resistant in body. It's a bit of a liberty, but... well, nothing you wouldn't find in a movie, right? ;-)
And thanks for the heads-up on the review! Some very nice compliments, and some very useful criticism there.
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Wilder - a forbidden fantasy romance (2017/2018)

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Re: Aloners [GxB] (a post-apocalyptic romance)

#60 Post by Ghost #9 » Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:44 pm

Speaking of reviews, did you notice you've got one over at VNs Now?

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