You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

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Chozogal
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You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#1 Post by Chozogal »

You Never Left Logo
You Never Left Logo
Laven would rather sit down with a good book than socialize with others. One day, she is pushed out of her comfort zone and asked by the high school playboy to help tutor him. Will you lead her to help him? Or will you lead her to turn him down and stay in her comfort zone?

Laven Sue
Laven Sue
Laven Sue is the protagonist in this visual novel. She is usually thought of as an ice queen, but she also is very understanding of others... until they insult her. When that happens, it's hard for her to forgive those that have wronged her.
Robert Clien
Robert Clien
Robert Clien is the high school's most well known, and liked, playboy. He's been struggling with his grades and has asked Laven to help him. He's very forward with some of the things he says, and he gets on Laven's nerves. Deep down, though, he realizes his own faults and admits them when necessary.
This is my first Visual Novel that I have completed and also the first time I've participated in NaNoReno. I soloed it this time around and enjoyed my time doing it. ^_^

If you hadn't noticed already, I didn't put this in the NaNo thread. I honestly didn't know if I was going to finish since I had been sick for practically the first two weeks of this month. I would appreciate any feedback you may have for my first VN... but please be gentle... I'm nervous enough as it is.

Anyways, you can download my game here:
http://www.mediafire.com/download/9f2bc ... .1-all.zip

I hope you enjoy it. ^_^

Edit:
I forgot to mention! I left the sprites and backgrounds unarchived so that, for those that want to use them, can use them. I don't mind. I do want you to credit me, though. ^_^;

Also, for those that have a Mac or Linux, I won't be able to help you if there's a bug, simply because I don't have those platforms... so there's that.

Edit #2:
Since someone wanted me to make an android distribution, here's one on mediafire since I'm not sure what I would have to do to get it on google play... so... here.
http://www.mediafire.com/download/660r9 ... elease.apk

Go nuts! (Note: I don't know if you have to use a file manager thing or not... so there's that.)

ALSO, for those wondering how long this is, it shouldn't take too much longer than 20-30 maybe 40 minutes depending on your reading speed.
Last edited by Chozogal on Thu Apr 02, 2015 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Laniessa
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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#2 Post by Laniessa »

Congrats on finishing! Super psyched to play this, downloading now <3

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Chozogal
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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#3 Post by Chozogal »

Thank you! I appreciate it. I would love to hear what you have to say about it. ^_^

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#4 Post by buxton1990 »

Congrats on finishing the game
I really enjoy it :)

I found the main character really well written and interesting and I liked how there relationship progressed for a short game it felt pretty natural

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#5 Post by Chozogal »

Thank you so much! ^_^ I tried my best to make Laven interesting. I'm glad you thought that she was!

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#6 Post by sonorousgem »

Congratulations! :) I finished with one ending... how many are there?
I was very impressed by the sprites, backgrounds, GUI, all the art haha XD So good for your first game, especially for one you did in a month!
Your writing was really good too; Laven and Robert were very realistic to me and I liked that. The music was nice too.
Altogether I enjoyed it-- I hope you continue making great VNs :)

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#7 Post by philip »

Very nice story, well told. Enjoyed it enough to revisit it several times.

philip
"One who has never made a mistake has never attempted anything!"
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and
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"Finish what you start"

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#8 Post by Chozogal »

sonorousgem wrote:Congratulations! :) I finished with one ending... how many are there?
I was very impressed by the sprites, backgrounds, GUI, all the art haha XD So good for your first game, especially for one you did in a month!
Your writing was really good too; Laven and Robert were very realistic to me and I liked that. The music was nice too.
Altogether I enjoyed it-- I hope you continue making great VNs :)
There are five endings in all, three bad-ish endings and two good endings. I'm glad you liked the art and the writing. ^_^ I'm not the best writer so I'm glad you liked it.
philip wrote:Very nice story, well told. Enjoyed it enough to revisit it several times.

philip
Thank you! ^_^

So, whether you guys liked You Never Left or not, I would like to know what I could improve on. What was your guy's favorite and least favorite things about my story? What were some things that bugged you about my story? Was there anything that stood out to you? What do you think I should keep in mind for the future?

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#9 Post by sonorousgem »

I admire your dedication :) For what it's worth, I liked it... I didn't think there was much more you could have done with it, to be honest. (If something really bothered me I probably would have pointed it out.) After all, it was pretty short, so there was only so much substance... I liked that it was short and simple, but I think a lot of people prefer longer games that allow for more engaging stories. That said, if it was longer, you probably would have been able to include more character development (and more characters), more music, and more CGs.
Okay, and here are some more subjective stylistic things: I did like your art and how relaxed both of them looked, but I just prefer a more anime-like style and a more diverse color scheme (again, just a personal thing). The characters could have also used more elaborate clothing designs. And I did like the story, but it's not like it was super original; it was the characters that kind of made the story I guess (and I tend to do the same thing).
Now to answer your hard questions! XD
Chozogal wrote:What was your guy's favorite and least favorite things about my story?
Favorite thing was probably the characters; like I said before, I liked that they were realistic and relatable. Not sure about my least favorite thing... I guess it would be the blandness in the character design? :/ I don't know, it really didn't bother me...
Chozogal wrote:What were some things that bugged you about my story?
Nothing really, but I was a little shocked by the
reference to porn. But it wasn't much, I just wasn't expecting it. Added to the story though, of course.
And I thought
the romance between Laven and Robert was a little rushed, but it was inevitable, so...
Chozogal wrote:Was there anything that stood out to you?
Not really, honestly ^.^" I'm sorry, I think it just goes hand-in-hand with the short length of the story, and the nice easy pace that it was going. I kind of like that slice of life games like this are usually pretty low-key, but generally the exciting stories are the ones that are remembered...
Chozogal wrote:What do you think I should keep in mind for the future?
It depends... I think more people are into engaging, energetic fantasy games that are more difficult than this... But I like games like these and ultimately it's up to you. :)

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#10 Post by Chozogal »

Thanks for the feedback! ^_^ I'll keep it in mind.

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#11 Post by yoshibb »

Firstly, I wanted to complement your art. The sprites and backgrounds look great and I like how you took the time to change the expressions and positions in the CGs. I really thought you handled some heavy subjects very well. They aren't topics that are too often explored, especially in games so I thought that was cool. It took me a while to get the best ending
First one I got was the one with the Dad chasing Robert out with a bat lol
This is really well done for your first visual novel!

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#12 Post by Chozogal »

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

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Re: You Never Left [GxB][Slice of Life][NaNoReno 2015]

#13 Post by qualifiedbadger »

So, whether you guys liked You Never Left or not, I would like to know what I could improve on. What was your guy's favorite and least favorite things about my story? What were some things that bugged you about my story? Was there anything that stood out to you? What do you think I should keep in mind for the future?
This is a pretty nice game. It's got nice art and the story tackles some unusual themes. For me, the most interesting bits were
Robert's confession about his problem, and Laven's revelation about why she feels the way she does. Both not seen very often in stories and handled delicately.
I don't think you could improve the story, it's interesting from the beginning to the end, and there are no scenes that stick out or seem unnecessary. The CG for Laven and Robert at the dinner table stood out for me, all that animation must have taken a long time to do! But it really kept the game visually interesting during the middle-section.
I laughed when I saw the choice of telling your mother your day was either 'Wonderful' or 'Terrible'... Like there's no middle ground for Laven :D

I guess one thing that confused me, is that the outcome of that choice wasn't very predictable.
For example, if you try to put a positive spin on things by saying "Wonderful", you get 2 bad endings...
But if you're sarcastic you get the good and great endings.

It might be better if you had "Tell her about Robert/Don't tell her about Robert" AFTER that choice, since that's what Laven does differently each time, and what the consequences revolve around? At least then the player can have a stab at guessing or affecting the consequences.
It didn't actually bother me, seeing as both bad endings were pretty funny. But you might want to keep it in mind for a longer game. It reminded me of some bits in Mass Effect 2 where I pushed the Paragon/Renegade button during a cutscene, and Shepard did the exact OPPOSITE of what I wanted...

Overall I really liked it.

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