bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015][v1.05 Out!]

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Haze
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bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015][v1.05 Out!]

#1 Post by Haze » Thu Apr 02, 2015 10:46 am

Image
The void is a strange place, filled with a strange creature that seems to be a reflection of yourself, and an even stranger being that is always overhead but can never be seen. Of course, you wouldn't know about that-- despite your weeks floating in the void, you have never opened your eyes to the world around you.

Today, that changes.
Image


Image


Image
___________________________________________________________________________
I'm finally done! This is a little late; I had to do a couple more things before posting, but I'm done now! Yay!

There are a couple of choices, but only one ending. The only thing that changes about the ending is how you, as the player, feel about it.

[url=http://tophat_haze.itch.io/bond]Download from itchio here![/url]
Last edited by Haze on Thu May 07, 2015 6:18 am, edited 2 times in total.
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
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I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#2 Post by yuucie » Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:18 pm

Congrats on finishing! Wow, that experience was quite surreal.
I figured it out pretty quickly what was going on, haha! Definitely not what I was expecting, but it's really nice! I love the song the mother sang, it was really comforting. I played through a few times, but it was kinda hard not being able to skip. I also picked all the "bad" options to see if it'll end differently (and felt completely terrible for it), but I get the same end each time. Are there any other ends?
I enjoyed it. The concept is really unique. Great job on the music especially!

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#3 Post by Haze » Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:18 am

yuucie wrote:Congrats on finishing! Wow, that experience was quite surreal.
I figured it out pretty quickly what was going on, haha! Definitely not what I was expecting, but it's really nice! I love the song the mother sang, it was really comforting. I played through a few times, but it was kinda hard not being able to skip. I also picked all the "bad" options to see if it'll end differently (and felt completely terrible for it), but I get the same end each time. Are there any other ends?
I enjoyed it. The concept is really unique. Great job on the music especially!
Surreal, huh? That's great, because that's what I was going for! I hope the music added to that surrealism, and I'm glad that you liked the songs. :D
I'm not sure if the fact you figured it out so quickly is a good or bad thing. I'm glad it wasn't too confusing, though; I was a little afraid it would be.

Yeah, there are some unskippable parts, mainly the parts with the lights, because those were done on screens, not in the script itself. I hope that wasn't too inconvenient...

There's only one ending; the only thing that would change is how you, as the player, personally feel about it. If you left the void early(going when asked too instead of waiting until the right time), there was going to be a variation where the mother was in a lot of pain because of that, but I didn't do that because I didn't have time, and I decided things were fine as they were.

Thank you so, so much for the compliment on the song! I was really, really nervous about that part, because I was a bit unsure about my voice. I'm really glad to hear it sounded ok! And the lyrics were actually something I thought of in early March , and I was like "I have to use that!" because it expresses the main idea of the game-- love.
I'm going to be playing Those Without Names soon, and I'll drop by your thread with my thoughts. :D
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
Image

Image

I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?

-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#4 Post by yuucie » Fri Apr 03, 2015 9:16 pm

Oh my goodness!
I didn't realize the singer was you. I actually thought it was some kind of official track. It's such a lovely song that I enjoyed listening to it while playing another few rounds. It's a beautiful lullaby, and you should be rightly proud of it!

I don't think it's a bad thing at all! I suppose it affected the way I chose the choices right after I figured it out (and I figured it out when Mother talked about being in pain if they left too early) because I didn't want to kill her or die premature lol. It wasn't too inconvenient; I just clicked a whole bunch of times so I could try for another end (which wasn't there haha. Oh no, now I feel even worse for picking all those terrible options. I'm so sorry, sibling of mine!)

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#5 Post by Hazel-Bun » Fri Apr 03, 2015 10:41 pm

Downloading now~
ACTIVE:
[A Simple Act]
[All the Pretty Flowers]

HIATUS:
[The Texture of Love]

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#6 Post by Haze » Sat Apr 04, 2015 9:13 am

yuucie wrote:Oh my goodness!
I didn't realize the singer was you. I actually thought it was some kind of official track. It's such a lovely song that I enjoyed listening to it while playing another few rounds. It's a beautiful lullaby, and you should be rightly proud of it!

I don't think it's a bad thing at all! I suppose it affected the way I chose the choices right after I figured it out (and I figured it out when Mother talked about being in pain if they left too early) because I didn't want to kill her or die premature lol. It wasn't too inconvenient; I just clicked a whole bunch of times so I could try for another end (which wasn't there haha. Oh no, now I feel even worse for picking all those terrible options. I'm so sorry, sibling of mine!)
You have no idea how much that comment has made my day. Thank you so, so much!

Hmmm, so knowing affected what you chose in game... that's really interesting. Also, don't feel too bad about picking the worst options, though; memories don't start forming until after birth, so it's ok. :D
Hazel-Bun wrote:Downloading now~
Thanks, Hazel! I hope you enjoy it! :D
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
Image

Image

I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?

-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#7 Post by Hazel-Bun » Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:10 am

Here is my feedback! Played the rest after the first choice at work, so will edit for music/sound comments later.
Oh I like the main menu. Minimalism is always a plus... and the rest of the GUI is good too! Would prefer little pink circle icons though. Never like when a game has the default one, as I pin all to my taskbar and it gets confusing.
Really enjoyed the first song, was like a lullaby. Wish the font color was darker or outlined as it appears weirdly too bright. The blue is easier on the eyes than the purple. It might be the background though!
Ah that hand scared me ahahaha In the beginning, I thought I was in the womb, but now I think I might be dead? Or, hallucinating? Maybe a coma?
>> Took her hand
Oh snap I'm one of her kind :-0
I think the repetition of little one gets a little redundant, but I like how pleasant and pleased her tone is!
>> No
You're going to die here? Who are these voices... that's so creepy.
>> I'm curious...
Are they twins? Or, are we died together? The other one seems to be suspicious of mother
>> She will
Playing the positive route this time haha
>> Mother; why can't I see you?
I like the floaty bubble choices btw
Also, that light is getting so bright... Why the sudden rush?
Awwwh I thought Mother might be an actual mom haha
Or, wait. The hand again... hm. Why will she die and be in pain?
YEAH! I did guess it :) The pink and blue coding for gender makes sense now. I loved how peaceful it was...
ACTIVE:
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[All the Pretty Flowers]

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[The Texture of Love]

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#8 Post by Haze » Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:33 pm

@Hazel-Bun
I'm glad you liked it, Hazel! The GUI is something I worked pretty hard on(I did it all with Renpy's styling system, something I also did for Times Like These), so it's good to hear that it was aesthetically pleasing.

I will definitely consider adding an icon; I hadn't even thought about icons during NaNoRenO, and it wasn't until after I built the distributions in Renpy that I realized I hadn't made one! Anyway, if I add one, it'll be as soon as possible. I'll reupload after I add one.

Actually, the text is outlined-- though it's a very thin outline; I might make it a bit thicker, or perhaps I'll change the text color around a bit.
Thank you for all of your thoughts; they were quite enjoyable to read. Peaceful is definitely the feeling I wanted to portray, so I'm glad to hear it came across that way. :D

Was "little one" used too often? I was thinking about using "darling" as well, but I ended up changing my mind. Do you think I should use it in some places?

I hope the hand didn't creep you out too much, though-- it does appear a bit suddenly.

I'm not sure if the fact both you and yuucie figured it out so quickly is a good or bad thing. I'm definitely glad it wasn't too confusing, but...well, I feel a bit conflicted about it.
Ok, one more thing:
Hazel-Bun wrote:
>> Took her hand
Oh snap I'm one of her kind :-0
This made me laugh so hard!
Last edited by Haze on Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:08 am, edited 3 times in total.
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
Image

Image

I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?

-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#9 Post by Mad Harlequin » Tue Apr 14, 2015 10:28 am

Well, I just finished running through this once (I'll go back and see what the other choices are sometime), and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have a few quibbles, like the use of "alright" instead of "all right," and "little one" being used too often, but this was still a lovely piece.
As a twin, I can definitely relate.
I'm not 100% thrilled with the sex-specific text colors, but I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill. I do understand the reasoning behind that choice.

Great work! :)
Last edited by Mad Harlequin on Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#10 Post by YossarianIII » Tue Apr 14, 2015 6:12 pm

Cool stuff!

I'm just an amateur when it comes to music production, but to my ears, the mix on that last song was super solid and the vocals worked well. Sounds like a bit like something off the Bastion soundtrack with a little more reverb.

As for the story:
I figured out fairly early what was going on. Calling the mother "Mother" was the biggest clue, although there's something kind of natal about the whole design aesthetic that might've tipped me off, too.

That's not a bad thing, though--I liked that there was a coherent idea and design aesthetic connecting everything, and I don't think that figuring out the "twist" spoils anything.

The music and the art worked very well with the story, too. I really liked the mutant latex glove baby hands!
Mad Harlequin wrote:I have a few quibbles, like the use of "alright" instead of "all right," and "little one" being used too often, but this was still a lovely piece.
Speaking of making a mountain out of a molehill, I will defend "alright" in colloquial speech to the death! :)

I'm a prescriptivist in 8 out of 10 grammar disputes, but if the nonstandard spelling is good enough for the Who, Kendrick Lamar, and the OED, then it's alright with me--style guides be damned!


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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#11 Post by Mad Harlequin » Tue Apr 14, 2015 7:14 pm

YossarianIII wrote:Speaking of making a mountain out of a molehill, I will defend "alright" in colloquial speech to the death! :)
Oh, I know it's becoming increasingly accepted as an alternative spelling, and I love The Who . . . It just bothers my brain in ways I can't really explain. :lol:
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#12 Post by Haze » Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:28 am

Mad Harlequin wrote:
YossarianIII wrote:Speaking of making a mountain out of a molehill, I will defend "alright" in colloquial speech to the death! :)
Oh, I know it's becoming increasingly accepted as an alternative spelling, and I love The Who . . . It just bothers my brain in ways I can't really explain. :lol:
I know it's grammatically incorrect, but I've been using "alright" for so long I don't know if I can put it as two words! It would take a lot of getting used to! :lol:

But anyways, thank you both for playing through bond! I'll respond to both of you individually.

@Mad Harlequin

I'm glad you liked it! Since I think everyone's mentioned that "little one" is used too often, I think I'll change some of them to something else, probably "darling", or "dear". Would that be better?
You're a twin too?! That's awesome! Fraternal or identical? (I know that's probably the first thing people ask you after finding out you're a twin-- that's what I always get asked first-- but I'm curious. I'm identical, by the way. :D)

I'd appreciate it if you spoiler tag that part about being a twin, though. Even if the "twist" is easy to figure out, I'd rather people not accidently discover it before they play. :lol:

Umm...I forgot to say this earlier when Hazel commented on it...but the gender/color thing actually wasn't on purpose! Maybe that was my subconsciousness at work?
@YossarianIII

You...compared my mix and singing to the Bastion soundtrack...I like that song, too! Thank you!
Something kind of natal about the design...that's a really interesting thing for you to say. I did try to make the void what I thought the womb would look like to a baby, and everything was meant to have a calming aesthetic, and, for the GUI, a simple aesthetic. Something kind of natal...I'm thinking the void's design may have spread to the rest of the game, which is definitely a good thing.

Hmmm...so figuring out the "twist" isn't a bad thing, then? Well, that's good; I've been a bit worried about that for a while.

I'm glad you liked the hands! It actually took a while for me to make a skin-like texture that I was satisfied with, so it's good to hear it was worth taking some extra time on that.
Thanks again for playing, both of you!
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
Image

Image

I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?

-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#13 Post by Mad Harlequin » Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:56 am

Haze wrote:I'm glad you liked it! Since I think everyone's mentioned that "little one" is used too often, I think I'll change some of them to something else, probably "darling", or "dear". Would that be better?
Yes, that's fine. It'll sound more natural that way.

"Alright" isn't grammatically incorrect, really. It's just an alternative spelling of the phrase "All right."

I edited my earlier post as asked. (Oops. Sorry about that!) To answer your question,
I'm a fraternal twin and have a brother. :)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#14 Post by Haze » Sun Apr 19, 2015 4:09 pm

Mad Harlequin wrote:To answer your question,
I'm a fraternal twin and have a brother. :)
Hey, that's awesome, Harlequin!

Fun fact, guys: this game was actually meant to be a gift for my twin sister, to show her how much I love and care about her-- she played a short preview(not in Renpy-- originally, this game was going to be in Inform 7) a few days after our birthday. As time went on, though, it became a bit more about our mom. My sis didn't mind though; she ended up liking the game. As for my mom, well, let's just say she'll be in for a little surprise on Mother's Day. :D
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
Image

Image

I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?

-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

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Re: bond[Drama][Relationships]["KN"][NaNoRenO2015]

#15 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sun Apr 19, 2015 5:45 pm

Aww. That's so sweet! I'm sure your mom will love it, just like your sister did! :)
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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