The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

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xxxSakura
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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#16 Post by xxxSakura » Tue Apr 28, 2015 12:42 pm

Kingv wrote:Hehe, yeah it's me. Guess my art is kinda distinct lol! I honestly can't wait to get done with LLF since it's just about there anyway. Mouses' story get's better, I think I enjoy his endings the most. Anyways I hope you enjoy the game!
I definitely did, I enjoyed your characters in particular :^)
Love how Cyn is just really indifferent at the beginning, and you could really see his personality being brought out as per the choices. Orla is such a sweet little darling, and though I have a thing for bad thugs I really disliked Thrall (must... not... succumb... to mere appearances) :evil: I guess the Nishigikoi refers to Lucky's species? xD

Is there supposed to be 9 endings each for Orla and Korcha, or for both of them combined? :o I haven't tried a second round, but in my first playthrough I've only managed to obtain three endings (the easier ones I'd assumed)

And about LLF, that's some great news there! I never really looked at anyone else other than Mouse anyways :* Is it going to be released on RenPy as well, or just as it is on DeviantArt?

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#17 Post by Kingv » Tue Apr 28, 2015 1:44 pm

xxxSakura wrote:
Kingv wrote:Hehe, yeah it's me. Guess my art is kinda distinct lol! I honestly can't wait to get done with LLF since it's just about there anyway. Mouses' story get's better, I think I enjoy his endings the most. Anyways I hope you enjoy the game!
I definitely did, I enjoyed your characters in particular :^)
Love how Cyn is just really indifferent at the beginning, and you could really see his personality being brought out as per the choices. Orla is such a sweet little darling, and though I have a thing for bad thugs I really disliked Thrall (must... not... succumb... to mere appearances) :evil: I guess the Nishigikoi refers to Lucky's species? xD

Is there supposed to be 9 endings each for Orla and Korcha, or for both of them combined? :o I haven't tried a second round, but in my first playthrough I've only managed to obtain three endings (the easier ones I'd assumed)

And about LLF, that's some great news there! I never really looked at anyone else other than Mouse anyways :* Is it going to be released on RenPy as well, or just as it is on DeviantArt?
Aww, thanks so much. I'm really glad that Cyns' personality shined through. I really wanted players to feel like they helped shaped his character with every decision made. Orla is definitely a sweetie. I felt kinda bad writing some of her endings but this game was never meant to have happy endings for everyone involved. Oh Thrall...he's such a stuck up, pretentious bastard lol. He's fun to hate on but I think I like his design best of all the other characters honestly. And yes Nishikigoi is the species Lucky is, so basically merfolks with koi fish tails who live to the far east in an Asian inspired country.
There are 9 endings for each character. You got quite a few endings already! Every ending you get depends on the choices you make while playing as well as the last choice of what to do with Orla at the auction. So I wouldn't say that some endings are easier to get than others...I honestly coded the choices very systematically and once you figure it out, getting all the endings is much easier.

You're definitely loyal to Mouse! Hope you give the other guys a try when the finished game is out. That game will probably just be out on DA but I'll post a link here when it's donw. LLF is being made with Flash so it's not compatible with Ren'Py unfortunately. Wish it were though, would make more workload much easier!

Here's a list of all of Orla's endings just in case you want to keep track of what you got so far.
Ending One: A Mermaid's Elegy
Ending Two: Trust and Betrayal
Ending Three:...To Die For
Ending Four: Caged Heart
Ending Five: Unseen Horizons
Ending Six: Circumstantial Fate
Ending Seven: A Fools' Errand
Ending Eight: Hope For the Hopeless
Ending Nine: Elan

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#18 Post by xxxSakura » Wed Apr 29, 2015 11:47 am

Kingv wrote:Aww, thanks so much. I'm really glad that Cyns' personality shined through. I really wanted players to feel like they helped shaped his character with every decision made. Orla is definitely a sweetie. I felt kinda bad writing some of her endings but this game was never meant to have happy endings for everyone involved. Oh Thrall...he's such a stuck up, pretentious bastard lol. He's fun to hate on but I think I like his design best of all the other characters honestly. And yes Nishikigoi is the species Lucky is, so basically merfolks with koi fish tails who live to the far east in an Asian inspired country.
There are 9 endings for each character. You got quite a few endings already! Every ending you get depends on the choices you make while playing as well as the last choice of what to do with Orla at the auction. So I wouldn't say that some endings are easier to get than others...I honestly coded the choices very systematically and once you figure it out, getting all the endings is much easier.
I felt really bad for Orla in
the endings in which she'd ended up being sold to Thrall - it just feels like he's gonna take advantage of her and then eat her afterwards
but her happy endings are pretty sweet!! I also really liked Thrall's design, it's a pity he's that evil sociopath :lol:

Regarding the endings, I actually chose very one-tracked choices (I was either nice all the way or mean all the way) initially. Had a pleasant surprise when I realised that different combinations worked, and then I got Elan! *w* I've gotten all the endings since then on. It'd be nice if you could include a gallery of some sorts to let the player know and remember which endings s/he'd already attained in the next version :^)

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#19 Post by Kingv » Thu Apr 30, 2015 7:20 pm

xxxSakura wrote:
Kingv wrote:Aww, thanks so much. I'm really glad that Cyns' personality shined through. I really wanted players to feel like they helped shaped his character with every decision made. Orla is definitely a sweetie. I felt kinda bad writing some of her endings but this game was never meant to have happy endings for everyone involved. Oh Thrall...he's such a stuck up, pretentious bastard lol. He's fun to hate on but I think I like his design best of all the other characters honestly. And yes Nishikigoi is the species Lucky is, so basically merfolks with koi fish tails who live to the far east in an Asian inspired country.
There are 9 endings for each character. You got quite a few endings already! Every ending you get depends on the choices you make while playing as well as the last choice of what to do with Orla at the auction. So I wouldn't say that some endings are easier to get than others...I honestly coded the choices very systematically and once you figure it out, getting all the endings is much easier.
I felt really bad for Orla in
the endings in which she'd ended up being sold to Thrall - it just feels like he's gonna take advantage of her and then eat her afterwards
but her happy endings are pretty sweet!! I also really liked Thrall's design, it's a pity he's that evil sociopath :lol:

Regarding the endings, I actually chose very one-tracked choices (I was either nice all the way or mean all the way) initially. Had a pleasant surprise when I realised that different combinations worked, and then I got Elan! *w* I've gotten all the endings since then on. It'd be nice if you could include a gallery of some sorts to let the player know and remember which endings s/he'd already attained in the next version :^)
Yeah, those are rather sad.
t I purposely left he endings with Thrall pretty open because honestly, he could do just about anything to her. And it leaves things up to speculation since Cyn already told Orla what other Noct expect from the mers they buy.


Glad you liked the happier endings though! really tired to make each end effect each character differently. And I'm happy you managed to get them all unlocked. Was a bit worried they might be too hard to get. I'm actually working on the gallery for the next update. It works but the preview gallery images aren't showing up for some reason. Checked mark shows images that are unlocked while the lock is for ones you haven't gotten yet.
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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#20 Post by try10 » Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:15 am

Hey, I wanted to know if the game is still in progress. Everything looks great and I JUST LOVE MERMAIDS! Waiting to play the BXB route!

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#21 Post by Krel » Sun Aug 16, 2015 9:38 pm

I'm very impressed. I love the art style and how you introduce the world with not too much explanation and not too much to take in.

I'm answering these questions only completing
Ending 8
.

1. Did you feel like the choices given were enough to shape Cyn into the character you wanted him to be?
I think so. Usually with these sorts of choices, I end up with the 'moral' choice, but this time I ended up trying to be consistent with the character and his motivations. That speaks well for your writing.
2. Which character felt the most believable? The least?
Cyn was probably the most believable to me, but that may be because I had control of his actions and made him believable to me. I guess that's a lot of the beauty of your storytelling here. Maybe Orla warming up to Cyn and getting over her brother were relatively fast, but I can understand that, and it's not a huge deal.
3. What do you think could be improved upon game wise?
Some of the profanity feels a bit forced, but that might be just me.
4. What would you like to see implemented in further releases?
Finish the art. :P

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#22 Post by Lesleigh63 » Fri Oct 16, 2015 9:03 pm

I felt like playing something with mermen in it and that also had nice bright colours.

I like how you have the different races of mermen and how their look reflects where they live in the sea.

Loved your art.

I tried playing the BxB route (thought something was broken when it kept flicking back to the start screen and then realised it was incomplete).

I think I'd like to wait now until everythings in (CGs completed etc) before playing again.

I hope you keep working on it.
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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#23 Post by Alopex » Sun Dec 20, 2015 12:36 am

I liked this quite a bit - usually in games like this, the main character's the captive so it's neat to see the other side, and the art's really great - colorful and full of personality, and the different kinds of Abyss mermaid are so creative. I like how Cyn's got good reasons to act the way he does no matter the choices you take - really, everything he says come off like it's the same personality, just one that's having a better or worse mood in that particular instant. And I love poor Orla and how she deals or doesn't deal with getting in over her head. Shame about her brother dying in all the routes, but maybe his story'll get out one of these days.

Least believable character might be Sorren, how's he still alive in the worst part of the ocean with his priorities?
Ok, so he doesn't make it through every ending alive.
Really, the only bit I got hung up on was the endings where Orla goes free -
It seems kind of arbitrary that guards are only waiting around on jerk route when I can't think of how any of Cyn's behavior might have influenced that.
So overall, excellent game!

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#24 Post by Kingv » Sun Dec 27, 2015 8:27 pm

Sorry for the late reply guys! I just saw I had some new comments so i'llanswer everyone now.
try10 wrote:Hey, I wanted to know if the game is still in progress. Everything looks great and I JUST LOVE MERMAIDS! Waiting to play the BXB route!
It is! I started working on it more consistently a few weeks ago.
Krelsin wrote:I'm very impressed. I love the art style and how you introduce the world with not too much explanation and not too much to take in.

I'm answering these questions only completing
Ending 8
.

1. Did you feel like the choices given were enough to shape Cyn into the character you wanted him to be?
I think so. Usually with these sorts of choices, I end up with the 'moral' choice, but this time I ended up trying to be consistent with the character and his motivations. That speaks well for your writing.
2. Which character felt the most believable? The least?
Cyn was probably the most believable to me, but that may be because I had control of his actions and made him believable to me. I guess that's a lot of the beauty of your storytelling here. Maybe Orla warming up to Cyn and getting over her brother were relatively fast, but I can understand that, and it's not a huge deal.
3. What do you think could be improved upon game wise?
Some of the profanity feels a bit forced, but that might be just me.
4. What would you like to see implemented in further releases?
Finish the art. :P
I'm so glad the world and everything else made sense. Since it's a short game I didn't want to spend too much time world building.
1. Awesome! I really wanted all the choices to coincide with how Cyn is and actually sound believable, regardless of how you choose to progress. I'm not much of a writer but its good that at least shown through.
2. Now that I think about it, it's good that he's the most believable! And she warms up a bit fast but that mostly due to time constraints in game.
3. Thanks. I'll look it over again and see if I can trim the fat.
4. Most definitely have to do that one!
Lesleigh63 wrote:I felt like playing something with mermen in it and that also had nice bright colours.

I like how you have the different races of mermen and how their look reflects where they live in the sea.

Loved your art.

I tried playing the BxB route (thought something was broken when it kept flicking back to the start screen and then realised it was incomplete).

I think I'd like to wait now until everythings in (CGs completed etc) before playing again.

I hope you keep working on it.
Thanks so much! Yeah that BxB route is being worked on. I really should have disabled it entirely in game til I could implement it properly but I made sure to post a disclaimer saying it's not done on the download page just in case. And great once it's done I'll update the main page accordingly. Would love to hear your feedback once everything's at 100%!
Alopex wrote:I liked this quite a bit - usually in games like this, the main character's the captive so it's neat to see the other side, and the art's really great - colorful and full of personality, and the different kinds of Abyss mermaid are so creative. I like how Cyn's got good reasons to act the way he does no matter the choices you take - really, everything he says come off like it's the same personality, just one that's having a better or worse mood in that particular instant. And I love poor Orla and how she deals or doesn't deal with getting in over her head. Shame about her brother dying in all the routes, but maybe his story'll get out one of these days.

Least believable character might be Sorren, how's he still alive in the worst part of the ocean with his priorities?
Ok, so he doesn't make it through every ending alive.
Really, the only bit I got hung up on was the endings where Orla goes free -
It seems kind of arbitrary that guards are only waiting around on jerk route when I can't think of how any of Cyn's behavior might have influenced that.
So overall, excellent game!
I'm glad you liked it! I enjoyed making a game where you play as the 'bad guy'. Art is probably my strongest asset in game making so I'm happy that it went over well. I've been sitting on the idea of different types of mers for a while no so it's a good thing I got to implement at least some of them into the game. Making Cyns' personality shine through and be consistent was a struggle at first but I think things got easier as I went along. Really wanted the game to be believable regardless of the choices made so playing through any of the nine endings felt like a believable end to the story. Orla is a bit whiny at first but she gradually adapts to her situation, for better or for worse. I'm working on her brother's route now so hopefully it'll be out soon. Killing him was a necessary evil I'm afraid.

Sorren really only scrapes by because of Cyn so it's interesting how that dynamic can change once Orla makes an appearance.
Yeah once he decides to be his own man and go against the original plan he's pretty much through.

I'll try to clear up that up.
Nothing he does to Orla makes the guards come. It's just a case of karma from past bad actions. He's been causing problems for Aquios for a while so when the siblings come up missing, he's assumed to be the culprit. Orla could have saved him if she wanted to but the way he treated her kinda nixed that possibility. That's why she kept running after he was attacked by the guards.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

In other news I worked on coding Korchas' route in the game and have made it up to the end of Day 2. I don't recall when my last work count was when I put the game on hold a few months ago but I've written a little bit on and off since then. I know for certain my word count was around 39,000 three days ago so I've got a nice chunk done recently! I also finished all of Korchas' expression and rendered out his sprite, which came up to 96 variations, the most of any other character in the game. T_T

Code: Select all

The game contains 1,999 dialogue blocks, containing 43,818 words and 226,489
characters, for an average of 21.9 words and 113 characters per block.

The game contains 18 menus, 317 images, and 21 screens.
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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#25 Post by Lesleigh63 » Sun Dec 27, 2015 10:57 pm

Yay, your still working on it. Looking good!
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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#26 Post by lockpicklogic » Wed Dec 30, 2015 12:12 am

Lovely game, short and sweet, with the freedom to become something close to a gentleman or a complete jerk.
I quite liked Cyn, though I'm not sure how Sorren would have survived so long in such a harsh environment with that personality... Unless he is almost constantly around Pops or Cyn, I just don't see that kind of innocence surviving.
Even though he doesn't survive in all of the route's, it baffles me that he survived this long. He's got to be like 20 or something, yeah? Unless mer years are different...

I would love to see the art finished and the other route completed, so I'm glad you're still working on it. :D
I have one question though, if Pops sells rare mer, then why did he take care of Cyn and Sorren? Was he just having a moment of mercy, or was he not in that business back then?
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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#27 Post by Kingv » Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:11 pm

Lesleigh63 wrote:Yay, your still working on it. Looking good!
Thanks!
lockpicklogic wrote:Lovely game, short and sweet, with the freedom to become something close to a gentleman or a complete jerk.
I quite liked Cyn, though I'm not sure how Sorren would have survived so long in such a harsh environment with that personality... Unless he is almost constantly around Pops or Cyn, I just don't see that kind of innocence surviving.
Even though he doesn't survive in all of the route's, it baffles me that he survived this long. He's got to be like 20 or something, yeah? Unless mer years are different...

I would love to see the art finished and the other route completed, so I'm glad you're still working on it. :D
I have one question though, if Pops sells rare mer, then why did he take care of Cyn and Sorren? Was he just having a moment of mercy, or was he not in that business back then?
Awesome! So glad you enjoyed playing! Honestly the only reason Sorren is alive is because of being under Cyn and Pops' protection. He definitely is lacking in the the cruel streak of most Nocts.
Cyn has spent most of his life protecting Sorren from most of the danger that surrounds him. He even calls his stupid on numerous occasions because of his naivety. Sorren chooses to believe that every Noct isn't necessarily bad or evil. He tries to see the good in everyone. I think in a way Cyn envies his innocence, because it's something he never had the luxury to have. In the route where Sorren dies it's only because he didn't listen to Cyn and chose to do things his own way. He didn't want to have any parts in selling Orla even if it cause his death. Sorren is a few years older than Cyn and I'd say he's probably closer to 30. He acts much younger though.


I'm working on all that now. I hate that so much is unfinished and I'll be glad once it's done as well. It would have been an easy thing to sell him but I think he took Cyn in because he reminded him of himself.

I guess I should put a bit of history down here to clear up a few things.
Pops grew up on the lower rungs of society. He's fended for himself for as long as he could remember but slowly worked up in rank until he made more and more money. Eventually getting into the business of selling slaves. It wasn't long after that that Pops found Cyn and took him in. Growing up Cyn was often harassed by other Noct for being a half breed. Although Pops had rank and money Cyn didn't want to feel like a charity case and started to work for himself from an early age, often collecting things he found on the upper sea levels for money. It's on one of those trips that he met Sorren.

Sorren is a Neon Noct, which live in the upper sea levels. Unlike Twil they are pretty solitary and don't live in established communities.The males have certain defined territories and females are free to roam within those boundaries. Female Noct only come together when it's time to give birth since males have been known to kill off their babies so they'd come in season faster for mating. Anyways when Sorren is born and they see how he's discolored he's immediately abandoned by his mother. With no one to take care of him he's considered an outcast. Although the females don't try and kill him, they don't let him mingle with their crowd and throw him scarps from their kills. This goes on for a few years until the mers born during that time are old enough to be on their own (perhaps 10 years). With the temporary pod dissolved Sorren is forced to live on the outskirts of society. Whenever he gets too close he's chased away. And being male if he gets caught in anothers' territory he's in for a fight. So basically Sorren spends years being alone, hoping for anyone to give him some attention because he's lonely. But he still keeps trying with every mer he crosses paths with because he thinks there's got to be someone out there who'll be his friend. So when he meets Cyn hes' super happy because finally someone will talk to him without trying to kill him first. Sorren follows Cyn everywhere, much to his annoyance, even back down to the Abyss. Pops knows Cyn isn't well liked so he nurtures their friendship. Sorren wasn't raised by Pops but he does travel back and forth regularly to the Abyss to hang out with Cyn.

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#28 Post by Talena » Wed Jun 22, 2016 2:00 am

Oh! I really loved playing this and glad that you are continuing it :)
You will always find me with pen and paper, as you never know when inspiration will strike.

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Re: The Merman's Captive[Fantasy][BxG][NaNoRenO 2015]

#29 Post by txqina » Sat Dec 10, 2016 10:26 am

I enjoyed the game. Got endings 5 and 9 which I am guessing are probably the only ones I am interested in.

1. Did you feel like the choices given were enough to shape Cyn into the character you wanted him to be?
I think so.
2. Which character felt the most believable? The least?
I was OK with all the characters. Whilst it can be interesting and insightful to tweak the nature of fantasy creatures so they're not 100% human-like, I think that would need a longer story than this one currently is and would change the flavour.
3. What do you think could be improved upon game wise?
Before I edited this post, it initially said that I thought ending 5 was more plausible than ending 9 in terms of the mermaid's reaction to Cyn in the available timeframe. A more helpful response would be that I would have liked to see more interaction to develop the relationship (at least in the part of the story that is currently the epilogue to ending 9) to round out that route better.

4. What would you like to see implemented in further releases?
Sorry, I don't have any great suggestions!

Best of luck with any further development you do on the game.

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