Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

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CrimsonMoon
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Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#1 Post by CrimsonMoon » Sat Apr 18, 2015 1:17 pm

Image
Kyra ia a 29 year old woman who's still not married and is not interested in romance. She doesn't think it's important as of now. But her mother is insistent in getting her married. How will she cope? Will she be able to find the one? Or will she stay single again for another year?
Character Sprites:
CC1.png
Characters
Screenshot:
CC.png
Screenshot
Features:

- 30+k words
- 3 romancable characters
- 6 endings (good and bad ending for each character)
- Original sprites and art
- Some original music
- Full credits in .txt
Download Here:

EDIT:
Version 1.2 uploaded (for all platforms), which should fix the images not appearing. :)

Dropbox:
All Platform (101MB)

Mediafire:
All Platform (101MB)

itch.io:
All Platform (101MB)
Guide:
Adair's Route:

- Hang up on her
- I'm concerned, so I'm going in front to see if I can help with anything
- Go with the doctor and the girl
- No, thank you
- It's not bad bad, it's just inappropriate
- Throw something and run!
- Please don't go!

Bastian's Route:

- Hang up on her
- Ask your colleague instead
- Okay, sure
- Yes, of course, she's my best friend!
- Nod quickly until my head feels dizzy

Evzen's Route:

- Hear mom out
- Sure thing
- Why not? I have nothing better to do anyway
- Heck, I don't care, I'll take that BBQ steak and blow my budget for this month
- Yes, I accept you and YOUR glasses!
Hello, this is my first official released game. It's supposed to be a NaNoReNo '15 entry, but as you can see, it's a very late NaNoReNo '15, so I'm wondering if we can still call it that, hence I don't put NaNo tag on the subject title. :'D It's a pretty straightforward game since it's meant to be lighthearted. Our team (Mashiro-Chi, Meyismyname, octacon100) and I hope you'll enjoy our short VN. :D
Any feedback/suggestions/constructive criticisms are greatly appreciated! :D Also, let me know if you encounter any bugs/glitches. It's still not tested for Mac and Linux, since I'm only using Windows.
Questions:

- What do you think of the characters? Who do you like the most?
- What ending did you get the first time?
- What do you like and dislike about the VN (story, characters, music, sound effect, etc)?
- Any suggestions for improvement?
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Last edited by CrimsonMoon on Tue Apr 28, 2015 2:37 am, edited 6 times in total.
Updated: 06/05/2015
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#2 Post by jais100 » Sat Apr 18, 2015 2:48 pm

This game was so cute! I think Bastian is my favorite. I got all three bad endings but they were still enjoyable. I got the doctor's bad ending the first time. To be honest, I feel like the dialogue could have been better but don't sweat it. I'm in the middle of playing Adair's route right now and it's throwing me for a loop. :shock: I think I'm going to try to go back and get a good ending. The sprites were really well done. Keep up the good work! :lol: Maybe you could post a little guide because I feel like getting a good ending is going to be harder than I thought :lol:

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CrimsonMoon
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#3 Post by CrimsonMoon » Sat Apr 18, 2015 9:53 pm

Thank you for the feedback!, I really appreciate it :D I'll try to improve the dialogue in my next game. :) What do you dislike for the dialogue? Mashiro-chi is our artist, so she would be pleased to know this. :D I didn't think I would need to post guide, since there are not too many options for branching, but I'll post a guide if people are getting stuck in a loop soon. :D Good luck getting Adair's good ending!

EDIT: Guide posted!
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#4 Post by VocaloidsRCool » Sat Apr 18, 2015 10:37 pm

Dropbox won't let me sign in or download the game. Maybe a mediafire or google drive link would help. ^^;

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#5 Post by philip » Sat Apr 18, 2015 10:40 pm

Just found this this evening, and couldn't wait to play through it, and having started, couldn't stop until I had uncovered all the endings. Found the good and bad endings for both the doctor and Bastian; didn't even realize that there was a third character until I read it in one of the posts here in the Forum (Duh! Didn't notice the spoiler with the characters listed in the opening post of the thread). After a bit of searching, I discovered Adair, and got his endings. The art in this story is very nice, the plot interesting; I found it suspenseful at times, but very enjoyable. I liked all the characters, except for Kyra's ex boyfriend; I suppose that Bastian was my favorite.

philip

BTW, this downloaded and ran on my mac flawlessly!
"One who has never made a mistake has never attempted anything!"
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"Finish what you start"

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#6 Post by CrimsonMoon » Sat Apr 18, 2015 11:02 pm

@VocaloidsRCool

Really? :( Sorry, I'll try to upload it tomorrow. ^^;

@philip

Thank you for playing, I'm glad you enjoy the game! I'm glad it runs fine in Mac, since I only have Windows version tested. :D
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#7 Post by VocaloidsRCool » Sun Apr 19, 2015 1:41 am

Thank you! :)

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#8 Post by GrizelyBear » Sun Apr 19, 2015 2:53 am

Congratulations on your first VN! <3
This is really adorable! The art is really nice and all the bachelors were super handsome! Ezven is my favorite, since I have a soft spot for glasses guys as well haha~ I also think his route is particularly the sweetest!

As for Adair... I think it's pretty obvious he's a guy, considering that this is a strictly GxB VN OTL Even so, I liked his route and his bubbly personality!

Bastian was a good contrast to Adair, and like the others, I liked his route. I just think that the dialogues with Austin there are a bit too random and callous.
Anyway, thank you for the cute visual novel! <3

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#9 Post by Sharane » Sun Apr 19, 2015 3:48 pm

The theme of your VN with older MC is original, I like it. And here are my answers :)

- What do you think of the characters? Who do you like the most?
Bastian is the best :wink:
When rough boy wants to save me, I´m all his :twisted: :D The martial arts occured to me before he mentioned them but I didn´t see the bully comming.
Adair -
I thought "she" is "him". But after his change into the boy, I still saw him as a very girly boy and I even didn´t want to ended up with him. Also his personality was too much happy for my taste :lol:
Evzen - still waits because I didn´t play his path.
I see a girl in him, I can´t help myself :(
Mum - I love her "head sprite" :lol:

- What ending did you get the first time?
It should be Adair´s but
as I realized, I would end up with the boy-girl, I stopped and tried to play it again with another choices
so I got Bastian´s bad end. Then, thanks to your walkthrough, I got the good end :) It was super romantic ;)

- What do you like and dislike about the VN (story, characters, music, sound effect, etc)?
Only thing which distracted me was
that while MC was with Bastian, she thought a lot about Austin (almost all the time from the beginning). Bastian walked her home and she didn´t think what she could say or why he helped her etc. She was thinking about her ex-boyfriend. It was a little weird in my opinion.
- Any suggestions for improvement?
More Bastians :wink:
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#10 Post by CrimsonMoon » Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:07 pm

@GrizelyBear

Thank you, it really means a lot to me! It's meant to be cute, so I'm glad you think that. :D
Thank you for the comment regarding Austin, I'll try to improve my writing in my next game. But I capture Austin's character as someone that we can despise, no? :'D
@Sharane

Thank you for the feedback! :D
I can understand, so don't worry. But I hope you'll change your mind about Adair and Evzen after you see their endings. :'D And thank you, I'll keep in mind what you just said about Kyra's thoughts. :) I'm not sure more Bastians will be possible at this point, but I'm glad people like him. xD
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#11 Post by yoshibb » Mon Apr 20, 2015 2:23 am

I really wanted to play this but I keep getting an error 403 when I click the link. I'm not sure what to do about it :/

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#12 Post by CrimsonMoon » Mon Apr 20, 2015 3:08 am

@yoshibb

It looks like it's generating too many traffic, sorry about that! >.< I'll try to upload to mediafire soon. :<

EDIT:

Uploaded Win version to Mediafire. Will try to upload Mac and Linux version too soon.
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#13 Post by GrizelyBear » Mon Apr 20, 2015 5:04 am

CrimsonMoon wrote:@GrizelyBear

Thank you, it really means a lot to me! It's meant to be cute, so I'm glad you think that. :D
Thank you for the comment regarding Austin, I'll try to improve my writing in my next game. But I capture Austin's character as someone that we can despise, no? :'D
Yes, you definitely captured his character as someone to be totally despised. ;___; I'm kinda disappointed Bastian didn't beat the crap outta that scum (ONE PUNCH IS NOT ENOUGH OH MY GOD THAT %^&$!). XD

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#14 Post by Akitsuki » Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:07 am

Played it! It was awesome, though I got all the bad endings at first orz
Anyway, the route was really different to each other so I enjoyed playing it a lot!
- What do you think of the characters? Who do you like the most?
They're cool! I can't really tell whom I like the most, personality-wise, but I really like Evzen's route because it's so realistic! Well, I kinda found out about Adair since the first time I saw him, and I was like waiting for him to reveal his true identity LOL.

- What ending did you get the first time?
Evzen's bad ending LOL I tend to go with the flow, I guess?

- What do you like and dislike about the VN (story, characters, music, sound effect, etc)?
I really like the art! Though in my opinion the MC looks too young as a 29-year-old woman LOL The guys are so handsomely drawn and Maya is so cute~~ To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to the music (I'm so sorry!!) but at some points I noticed the musics really fit the situations, like when the MC was angered when Austin approached her.

For the parts I dislike... I don't know, but I guess the part where Bastian suddenly hugged the MC and comforted her was kinda, you know, silly, if I may say. I'd accept if Bastian knew her first-hand (like in Evzen's case), but why would a stranger suddenly embrace someone like that? If I were the MC, I would definitely ask him what he had in his mind at that time, but that's just me.

- Any suggestions for improvement?
Probably the part I mentioned in the question before. But overall, you guys did a really good job! It's actually really nice as a first game. If you're making the next one, I'm sure it'll be super awesome!

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#15 Post by CrimsonMoon » Mon Apr 20, 2015 10:13 pm

@GrizelyBear
Lol, I won't be sorry if Bastian beat him though. xD
@Akitsuki

Thank you very much for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
I didn't explain Bastian very well. To think back, there are some parts that I left out from the outline of the story. *hahanervouslaughhaha* I set a goal for the VN to be around 20-30k words. I wrote around ~10k+ for each route, so I don't want the VN to seem unbalanced in terms of the routes. Hence I didn't get to explain why Bastian hugged her. But oh well, the deed is done. xD I'll keep in mind about this though for my next game, as it is strange for stranger to hug another stranger. ^^; Thank you very much for pointing it out, and I'm in the middle of writing a game, so I hope it goes well. :D
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