Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

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ebi-hime
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#16 Post by ebi-hime » Tue Apr 21, 2015 4:12 pm

For some reason, the title of this game makes me think it could be a euphamism for unplanned pregnancies
Maybe I'm just odd...

Anyway, about the actual game. The art is so good! I love the character sprites, especially for Adair and Maya. Maya's character design is really amazing, she looks so firey haha n_n;
And Evzen is super cute - despite the fact his clipboard appears to be transparent?
I really liked that you saw the full body sprites at the end, they're all so gorgeous!
And I really, really like how you filtered the BGs. They look really, really nice. The textures on them make them look kind of storybook like ehehe.

The writing was pretty good, the comedy was nice. Some of it felt kind of mean-spirited about the ex-bf, which is understandable since he's obviously meant to be a bad person, but sometimes it got so cruel it made the MC look kind of like a jerk?
The romance felt a bit rushed, but it was very sweet and fluffy. And it was nice to see a VN with an older protagonist.

Overall, I liked it! GJ!
I have a lot of free & commercial VNs available on Steam and itchio.io if you want to check them out! ☆

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#17 Post by yoshibb » Tue Apr 21, 2015 5:58 pm

Ok, I was able to download the game through mediafire, thank you! First, I just wanted to mention I really liked sprite art and the logo. It definitely made me want to play this game at first glance.

- What do you think of the characters? Who do you like the most?
The characters were cute. I liked the relationship between Maya and Kyra and the nice friendship they had. My favorite is Bastion. I am a sucker for rebels with a heart of gold. Finding out his past was interesting. That could be a game all in itself.
- What ending did you get the first time?
Bastion's Good End
- What do you like and dislike about the VN (story, characters, music, sound effect, etc)?
I mentioned I really liked the art and the music was nice, too. The story's romance was very cute. It's hard to create a believable pace for the romance when you don't have as long of a VN, but I think you did pretty well.
- Any suggestions for improvement?
I did find some spelling and grammar errors, and there were two times when I got a 'Bastion' image not found error (I could go back and locate those errors if you want.) But considering this is a NaNo project, I thought this was a nice little game. I had a fun time playing through it :)

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#18 Post by Meyismyname » Tue Apr 21, 2015 9:50 pm

yoshibb wrote: I did find some spelling and grammar errors
You found some whatnow???????? Where? :oops:

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#19 Post by Zhyx25 » Tue Apr 21, 2015 11:27 pm

Im going to download it on saturday ... so excited to play it ..

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#20 Post by Godline » Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:05 am

CrimsonMoon - yayyyy! Game developing! :) I like it.

Now for the actual game.

Cute art, CGs are cute!
But WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY did you release without having a beta play and proofread?! It would have been so much better without the spelling and grammar mistakes (and for someone to tighten up the writing). Next time contact me, okay? ;)

How do I get Adair's good ending? The whole Adair subplot is a bit weird. It (I still feel weird calling him 'he' I guess) is an interesting character and has potential... if it wasn't so rushed (for reasons you explained though, so it's cool). How did the MC not figure out Adair was a he though when he was wearing a towel around his waist? I mean does Adair have man boobs? Haha. It should have been rather obvious if not. ;)

I REALLLLLLLLLLLY liked Evzen - go the glasses guy! And he had a legitimate reason for liking the MC, so that was really cute.

I didn't like Bastian because I felt there was no legitimate reason for him to like the MC. Out of nowhere he was kind of like caring about her and hugging her and it was like errr.... alright you weirdo. I mean, if some stranger started doing that to you, wouldn't you think that was weird and stalkerish? It seems like there'd be a lot of problems in the future because of all Bastian's issues being clingy and stalkerish. Haha.
But yes! Keep making more stuff and you are awesome!

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#21 Post by CrimsonMoon » Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:09 am

@ebi-hime
I've never thought of it that way, but I can understand that maybe some people may think that. Yes, his clipboard is transparent. ^^; Thank you, it's good that people don't say much about BGs. I had them all filtered so they all look consistent, since they're all from different sources, haha. I want Kyra to feel dis/like for her ex, so that's why she is mean, but sometimes she's also thinking of her ex. I hope she's not too mean though. :'D Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoy it! :D
@yoshibb
Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoy the VN. :D Really? Please screenshot if you can, thank you! I'm going to test it too. Maybe I miss something when testing myself, haha. ;-; EDIT: Yes, I found it, thanks for notifying me! I'll look into it and hopefully I can post the link for fixed version tomorrow.

@Zhyx25
Thank you, I hope you'll enjoy it!

@Godline
Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you like it! :D
I thought I was thorough enough to minimize the errors, but apparently not, haha. ;-; I'll have it tested again and try to fix the errors. I was the only one doing the writing for a month plus, so yeah, I could use co-writer or idea bouncer next time, thank you for the offer. :'D You won't believe how many errors I made when writing, and I'm thankful for our proofreader. If not for her, I think the VN will have far more grammatical and spelling errors. >.< I'm glad you like Evzen. :D As for Adair, she looks girly, no? :'D But I still had fun writing about him. As for Bastian, I should have explained more about him, but actually, his path was the longest, so I cut it out without explaining them well. Next time, I'll do better. :'D Thank you for pointing them out, I'll keep it in mind for my future projects. :D
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#22 Post by Darklime » Thu Apr 23, 2015 12:00 am

Thank you for making an otome game :D i enjoyed it. This game is very complete for a first, congratulations !

- What do you think of the characters? Who do you like the most?
They are all interesting because each one have a distinct personality. My favorite is Bastian. (a not so bad guy bad guy)

- What ending did you get the first time?
I've got Bastian's good end (lucky ^^)

- What do you like and dislike about the VN (story, characters, music, sound effect, etc)?
the story: easy enough for me to follow (english is not my mother tongue) and it is not a school love story again. I'm glad to read kyra's concerns but i am just a little bit disapointed by the boys's dialogues. they have not so much to say about them, except if we reach the good ending part. so i find it difficult to be attracted by them, or should i say a little bit unnatural.

the Art: The sprites are beautiful, each character in one dominant color is well done. The backgrounds looks like watercolors, which is very nice with the sprites. it give the game a poetic feel.

The gui : small parts of the text are hard to read because of its color ("Kira", "Evzen" or the menu shortcuts). It's just too low color contrast against the pink background. or i am too old :lol:

The music/sound : It feels nice to play a free game with original music, good job !

- Any suggestions for improvement?
Well done, keep it up and thank you for sharing your creations :)

(i am not fluent in english, sorry for my bad writing or if it is not clear. i'm trying to improve myself)

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#23 Post by greenheartnellie » Sat Apr 25, 2015 2:31 pm

Love this so much :) It was cute, sweet and even funny (I can't help but laugh at the MC's reactions on Evzen's route). Anyway, I only got through Evzen and Bastian's good and bad ends so far and would continue tomorrow :D

And just wanna let you know that Bastian's sprite didn't show up at sometime. It said Image 'Bastian' not found. It started on that time at the attachment, then happened again at the scene in Bastian's apartment. I had the windows version :)
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#24 Post by CrimsonMoon » Tue Apr 28, 2015 2:24 am

@Darklime
Thank you very much for the feedback, I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D
Thank you, I'll keep in mind about the boys' dialogues. I'll try to have more dialogues in my next project so there's more character build-up. I'm glad you like the art, Mashiro will be pleased to know this. :D Haha, no, I think I understand, the characters' colour is mostly based on their hair colour, so maybe some just doesn't blend well with the textbox. :'D I'm glad you like the original music made by Blue Wolfie Music. :D
@greenheartnellie
Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoy it! It's meant to be cute and sweet, and I'm glad you think that. :D
Thank you for reporting, I have uploaded the fixed version for the sprites not showing. :)
Updated: 06/05/2015
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#25 Post by Lire » Sun May 03, 2015 5:38 am

Hi hi~

Good job on finishing it firsthand.

Next, here's my review on this little cutie >_<
http://scan-vn.blogspot.com/2015/05/unp ... amour.html

Thanks again for making it!! :D
Not enough time..
Or i'm a genius in wasting time.. :lol:

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#26 Post by Junesong » Sat May 09, 2015 9:13 am

Such a cute game! Bastian was definitely my favorite, I always did have a weakness for fit boys with that kind of style, but he was sooo cute though!
The other routes felt kinda rushed, especially Adair's, but all in all the game was very cute ^_^

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#27 Post by Catlip Candy » Wed Jun 03, 2015 12:20 pm

Questions:

- What do you think of the characters? Who do you like the most?
- What ending did you get the first time?
- What do you like and dislike about the VN (story, characters, music, sound effect, etc)?
- Any suggestions for improvement?


Hiya!!! Played your very cute VN! So I'll be answering your questions...

1. I think the characters' back stories are well written. They all have sad pasts that they'll reveal to you if you get their good ending. Well done! I should also improve my characters' back stories. I like Adair the most. Since I like longhairs :3
Plus he's the only one who changes outfits through the entire game, since he's disguising as a girl, even so, I think it's pretty obvious that she's a he. I like how he appears to be energetic but really has a sad past. It's hard to laugh when you're hurt inside.


2. Evzen's bad ending! *pouts Since he's the first guy to appear, I thought I'll go on with the flow.
I think I made a mistake about the choice on the restaurant... Picking to choose salad... Since I thought he's a doctor and all, I should eat healthy food and not all meat, or my points will drop 'coz if he's a doctor, he'll tell me to eat healthy blah blah blah BUT NO!!! I should be myself :lol:
The first good ending is with Adair. I liked him the first time I saw him so I made sure not to make the wrong choice :3

3. Nothing in particular... the route with each guy is really different with the other. If you choose Guy number 1, you won't be able to meet Guys 2 and 3, and you'll have no choice but to go all force with Guy number 1. You're forced to choose which guy you want in the first place, and concentrate with that guy you chose in the very beginning. I just hope that you revealed the three guys first, before making the player choose which to focus, so that we meet all bachelors first before settling with one guy.
Gaaaaah~ It's so hard to explain!!! But don't worry, nothing is despicable in your VN. I found it really cute and charming!!!


4. I'm not an expert in answering this question, since I'm also a newbie in creating VNs, like you... But I will say that I really enjoyed this VN >_< And I hope you create more otome. Congrats to you and to your team...

And can I make a blog post about Unplanned Amour in my WordPress? Not really a review but I like to make a post about VNs that I played. ... :D

All I ask from the readers is to give feedback on what they think I should improve more.
Even the harshest comments are welcomed and greatly appreciated, as long as it is your truthful opinion!
Please help me become a better visual novel creator!

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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#28 Post by CrimsonMoon » Thu Jun 04, 2015 2:03 am

@Lire
Thank you for playing, the feedback and the blog review, you have no idea how much I appreciate it! >o< I'm glad you like the story, and I do admit it's kind of rushed, and we never made it in time for NaNo, but we tried our best. :'D I'm glad you like all the characters too, I try to make them at least likeable, even the mother, haha. ^^; I'll try to improve on pacing in my next VN. :D

@Junesong
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the game and Bastian, lol! I realize that the pacing is kinda rushed, so I'll try to improve that next time. :D

@Fake Existence
Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed the game! :D Ah, I haven't thought of that. It's true you can't get to Bastian if you choose Adair or Evzen's route. ^^; I'll keep that in mind because I know I'd want to see all bachelors too before deciding, so I get what you mean, lol. I'm glad you like Adair, I try to make them all likable, well, except for Austin. ^^; Oh yes, you're more than welcome to, thank you! :D
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#29 Post by Lesleigh63 » Sat Aug 15, 2015 12:59 am

I've only played this through once so far and got Adair's bad end.

It has lovely art and I like the water-colour look of the backgrounds.

Hard to say much about the plot yet. Adair's story seems unfinished
I never found out why the men are trying to take him away or where he was before turning up at the motel.
but that's probably because I got the bad end first. It's pretty light and fluffy at the moment but that's okay. Didn't even know there were a couple of other characters until I saw the end cg.
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Re: Unplanned AMOUR [VN] [GxB] [Romance][Slice Of Life]

#30 Post by AstrellaLunari » Sat Jan 23, 2016 1:03 am

It was really touching and sweet, and the characters were really well-written. I thought it was nice to see an mc who had her own dimensions and flaws as well, though with the direction it was going,
I thought (particularly in Bastien's route) that she was going to be making some discoveries of her own and doing some growing. It seemed like in all all of the routes, Kyra was stereotyping love, romance, and some cases, even people, so I thought that would play a stronger role in her romances. It also seemed like the choices were basically arbitrary. I didn't feel like I was making a decision, really- you kinda just had to guess. I would have loved to have seen some more choices that were really part of the conversation and forwarded or (retro...graded?) the characters' relationships. Like for example, you had to chose to blow all your money on barbecue when you were going for the doctor, but why? You don't even know at that point that he worries about his childhood weight. An interesting choice with your lovely, interesting characters could have been deciding whether or not to bring up his food love with him and how, as a couple, you might chose to deal with that. Does it become a point of contention between the two of you? Do you decide to try to help him with it only to find him resentful of you for it? Do you ignore the problem altogether, or decide it isn't a problem? Do you try to direct him to get outside help, if he has a problem with it? Not that one of these even has to be the "right" answer- maybe it just depends on how mc goes about it.
As I said, loved your characters and your story. Hopefully, my perspective is helpful, 'cause I can't wait to read whatever you write next!

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