Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

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Maelstrom-Fenrir
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Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#1 Post by Maelstrom-Fenrir » Thu Jul 30, 2015 7:30 am

Once light is lost.

Once sight is lost.

Only fear remains.
The little town of Willow Falls, is about undergo a massive change. A dark cloud is starting to form that will take all its residents by surprise. Little do they know that their life is about to be tossed upside down as daylight is about to become something of the past. They will experience a never ending night, and become trapped in the fog that surrounds the once peaceful place. Sanity will be lost, and despair will set in, who will remain to hope for a brighter tomorrow?
Genre: Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival Episodic KN
Warnings: Umbra contains some slight imagery/depictions of violence that might bother some people. It also has mild language.
Phase 1 is Approx: 5 hours long
Credits:
Story - Maelstrom-Fenrir
Art - Chocojax
Music - Ziassan
Sound Effects - Soundbible
Beta/Quality Check - anon-kun & Cirno
OP

Fear the Darkness
Attachments
10-roadway-night.png
04-antgarden-day.png
5-forest-flashlight.png
alltogetha.png
Last edited by Maelstrom-Fenrir on Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:41 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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philip
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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#2 Post by philip » Fri Jul 31, 2015 1:16 pm

WOW! Just finished going through this - a great (if somewhat unsettling) story. Very enjoyable; I will look forward to the next installment.

Just one side note, I started through this last evening, and was quite deep into the story, past the part where the darkness descended on the town - when suddenly ALL THE LIGHTS IN MY HOUSE WENT OUT! Looked out and there was not a light to be seen anywhere. Stayed that way for a couple of hours. Kinda creepy, seeing their world go dark and then having the same thing happen to me.

philip
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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#3 Post by Patty » Fri Jul 31, 2015 11:45 pm

Played through Umbra this morning and I enjoyed its tense atmosphere! It must have been challenging to nail it because the environments are really dark, so it really relied on the writing to deliver. The art is amazing though - the sprites look great. I also enjoyed the music to most. Props to the team for a really well-rounded performance.

Some plot-related comments:
I'm really suspicious about the note Evan's mom left behind - well, obviously it could be Mayor Reatha because of the bounty, but I can't help but think she was referring to someone else because there are 3 characters who could be suspects. And if she were really referring to Mayor Reatha, it'd probably start with an M (I don't think anybody referred to the Mayor by only her first name throughout the story?) But then again it could be her. That part just bugged me the most.

I was annoyed by Pitch, but she's probably the most realistic character in the situation. While she does things that tick the reader off because we're playing from Evan's perspective, if I think about her situation, her being suspicious and logical is just rational behavior. Her beliefs about balance are carried about in an extremist method, however.

I absolutely loved Evan's dad and Ryker. Evan's dad is just so cool and caring - despite his initial introduction. He does tough love but he really cares about his son. Also, I wasn't expecting to like Ryker a lot, I definitely didn't at first. He seemed like a stereotypical fratboy but he actually has a really loving family and is just misunderstood. He's not a bad guy, per se, he just wants life to be amusing even if society doesn't agree. Loved how he came through for Evan, bros until the end. (He's not off my suspect list for the note though.)
Just a little thing that bothered me, the font was getting some jagged edges at the animated sequences. I'm not sure if this is due to the resolution or the animation. It's not a big deal, just a small nitpick.

Overall, great job and I'm looking forward to Phase 2! :D So much unresolved questions.
Letters for You [KN] [NaNoRenO 2012] : http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 50&t=14271

Paradox [NaNoReNo 2013] WIP: http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 50&t=19714

Museum Adventure: The Ascension of Huks http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 11&t=28476

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Maelstrom-Fenrir
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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#4 Post by Maelstrom-Fenrir » Sun Aug 02, 2015 4:09 am

philip wrote:WOW! Just finished going through this - a great (if somewhat unsettling) story. Very enjoyable; I will look forward to the next installment.
Thank you for reading Phase 1, we are glad you enjoyed it. We hope you're enjoy the second phase just as much.
philip wrote:Just one side note, I started through this last evening, and was quite deep into the story, past the part where the darkness descended on the town - when suddenly ALL THE LIGHTS IN MY HOUSE WENT OUT! Looked out and there was not a light to be seen anywhere. Stayed that way for a couple of hours. Kinda creepy, seeing their world go dark and then having the same thing happen to me.
Oh wow, now that would be creepy. I don't know if I could even stand that. I used to be afraid of the dark as a kid, but I find nighttime to be my favorite time, lol.
Patty wrote:Played through Umbra this morning and I enjoyed its tense atmosphere! It must have been challenging to nail it because the environments are really dark, so it really relied on the writing to deliver. The art is amazing though - the sprites look great. I also enjoyed the music to most. Props to the team for a really well-rounded performance.
Thanks for reading Phase 1, glad you enjoyed it. And yeah, it was interesting writing each scene, I did a scene by scene imagination in my mind, or took walks outside in the dark with a flashlight to get a feeling of how things would look, and to get a image to work from. Yeah, Chocojax did such an amazing job with the sprites, I can't wait to see how the cgs for Phase 2 will look (Yep, Phase 2 will be getting cgs). Yup, Ziassan's music really cemented the atmosphere, he did such a great job.
Patty wrote:Some plot-related comments:
I was annoyed by Pitch, but she's probably the most realistic character in the situation. While she does things that tick the reader off because we're playing from Evan's perspective, if I think about her situation, her being suspicious and logical is just rational behavior. Her beliefs about balance are carried about in an extremist method, however.

I absolutely loved Evan's dad and Ryker. Evan's dad is just so cool and caring - despite his initial introduction. He does tough love but he really cares about his son. Also, I wasn't expecting to like Ryker a lot, I definitely didn't at first. He seemed like a stereotypical fratboy but he actually has a really loving family and is just misunderstood. He's not a bad guy, per se, he just wants life to be amusing even if society doesn't agree. Loved how he came through for Evan, bros until the end. (He's not off my suspect list for the note though.)
Yeah, most people hate Pitch. I don't know about her being the most realistic, I think given their situations a lot of the cast has moments of exaggerated realism.

Yup! Evan's dad, was such an awesome character to write, I was torn up about killing him the way I did. Yeah, both Ryker and Evan to some extent in the beginning I wanted to come across as somewhat unlikable.
Patty wrote:Just a little thing that bothered me, the font was getting some jagged edges at the animated sequences. I'm not sure if this is due to the resolution or the animation. It's not a big deal, just a small nitpick.

Umm, by animated I assume you are talking about the OP, and that is probably the resolution. I was going to make a better version, but lol I kind of forget/didn't want to take the time. Phase 2's OP will be more high quality.
Patty wrote:Overall, great job and I'm looking forward to Phase 2! So much unresolved questions.
Thanks Patty, hope you enjoy Phase 2 as much as Phase 1.

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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#5 Post by Ziassan » Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:01 pm

I finally made some time to read the finished thing like any other reader.
While the story takes some time to let you in (or maybe I'm just an impatient guy), once things begin it becomes really... captivating, it's the word. Everything builds toward that kind of ambiance.
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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#6 Post by raven.baskerville » Fri Sep 04, 2015 1:57 pm

This
Game
Is
Awesome
Let's say all the deaths and half-deaths the characters went through in this story were sad enough to make me cry for hours. The sprites are awesome, though I think the Bgs could use some more work. Your sprites are smooth and pretty, even 3D in an angle, but then your bgs are sharp. Though, I'm not complaining-
Also, a blind person might not be able to 'function' alone. Specially after Sierra's suicide event, I believe she'd have a lot of problems finding her way. Again, not complaining, also I might be wrong, but since our school intends to research on blind people a lot, I know a thing or two.
Evan's dad death. I literally lost my mind there. The "You're not my son" part, wow. The feels. I think I'm going to explode fanfiction.net with fictions about your game- Seeing Evan's concept art, I believe I can draw a few fanarts here and there- :D I'll let you know, if you like.
Some kind of 'expressional' error : When the characters ask questions, there's a "." mark at the end. It wouldn't change anything, but it's 'prettier' to put a question mark instead. It's not important, but I feel like I need to point out everything I noticed.
The time it takes is also really awesome. Usually people don't put much work into the 'free' games they're making. Specially Kinetic Novels. So it's really cool to see a long kinetic novel.
I wonder if the Phase two is KN or VN. It would really be cool if it was a VN, since you can make a lot of choices and wreck your life-
Pitch you son of a-
So Evan is either having hallucinations or he's being messed up by the 'angels' or 'witches'. It can be Mira though.
Btw, does it matter if I ever decided to animate this? With all credits and stuff, I just recently learnt how to animate and all-
That's all! I loved this to be honest, and am excited for the next installment!
(Reed <3_<3 )

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Maelstrom-Fenrir
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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#7 Post by Maelstrom-Fenrir » Fri Sep 04, 2015 10:01 pm

raven.baskerville wrote:This
Game
Is
Awesome
Thank you, I'd glad you enjoyed it.
raven.baskerville wrote:
Let's say all the deaths and half-deaths the characters went through in this story were sad enough to make me cry for hours. The sprites are awesome, though I think the Bgs could use some more work. Your sprites are smooth and pretty, even 3D in an angle, but then your bgs are sharp. Though, I'm not complaining-
Writing some of the deaths tore me up too. I think it is partly because Chocojax is not used to do bgs much, and she was doing them quickly. But ya, the ones that are inside or have buildings are really sharp. Might just be her style though. So not going to comment too much on that. Maybe she'll bring it up on here.
raven.baskerville wrote:
Also, a blind person might not be able to 'function' alone. Specially after Sierra's suicide event, I believe she'd have a lot of problems finding her way. Again, not complaining, also I might be wrong, but since our school intends to research on blind people a lot, I know a thing or two.
I'm going to admit I don't know a whole lot about blindness. I did some research, but it was hard to find the information I wanted. So if you wouldn't mind, if you would be a consult, that'd be appreciated.
raven.baskerville wrote:
Evan's dad death. I literally lost my mind there. The "You're not my son" part, wow. The feels. I think I'm going to explode fanfiction.net with fictions about your game- Seeing Evan's concept art, I believe I can draw a few fanarts here and there- :D I'll let you know, if you like.
I have no problem with you writing fanfiction or making fanart, just at least show it to me! :D
raven.baskerville wrote:
Some kind of 'expressional' error : When the characters ask questions, there's a "." mark at the end. It wouldn't change anything, but it's 'prettier' to put a question mark instead. It's not important, but I feel like I need to point out everything I noticed.
Hmm, some of them might be questions but, the speaker is not saying it as a question, but as a statement. Though, not trying to defend myself here. I probably made the mistake. I'll keep that in mind for future writing.
raven.baskerville wrote:
The time it takes is also really awesome. Usually people don't put much work into the 'free' games they're making. Specially Kinetic Novels. So it's really cool to see a long kinetic novel.
I wonder if the Phase two is KN or VN. It would really be cool if it was a VN, since you can make a lot of choices and wreck your life-
I write because I enjoy it. I enjoy to tell emotional tales and enthrall the reader. I'm not out to make a profit, all I need is enough to live and continue making stories (any extra money would go to more art/music/voice acting etc) So I have no intention of turning my group Black Witch Project into a commercial group. The furthest I'd ever probably go is the take the pay-what-you-want model as donations to future projects.

Given the events in Phase 2, it is a KN, it just doesn't work as in a VN choice type style. However, the final phase in the story will be a VN, allowing the reader to choose the final end for the tale. It just isn't possible until we get to a certain point to allow the reader to change the story, given the structure of events.
raven.baskerville wrote:
Pitch you son of a-
So Evan is either having hallucinations or he's being messed up by the 'angels' or 'witches'. It can be Mira though.
Btw, does it matter if I ever decided to animate this? With all credits and stuff, I just recently learnt how to animate and all-
Now you know why I named her Pitch, :lol:
One can only wonder for now. Each phase will get you closer to understanding what is going on.
I don't really know what you mean, but I have no problem with that. As long as you show me of course.
raven.baskerville wrote:That's all! I loved this to be honest, and am excited for the next installment!
(Reed <3_<3 )
I glad, and thank you for taking the time to comment. It is always nice to hear if people enjoy my work.

You can see the progress we have made currently on Phase 2's thread: http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=33761
Without saying too much, Phase 2, actually has quite a bit of character development for Reed.

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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#8 Post by slickrounder » Thu Aug 11, 2016 9:44 am

Created an account just to thank you for your great work in the form of Umbra! Deserves 1000x the amount of attention. Stumbled upon it via an LP by trinmorning, and have been introducing it to my friends since 8) I think the dropbox link is down sadly (already experienced the visual novel via the Lp, but was gonna download it and play it together with a friend overseas) :cry: Would appreciate any help with downloading it, and wanted to give encouragement to continue with future phases and ultimately complete the incredible atmosphere of darkness that is Umbra!

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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#9 Post by strangebrew » Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:21 pm

hey guys, a bit of a problem here, when i download umbra phase 1 from the dropbox link you listed it downloads umbra phase 2 instead.
any help? maybe someone can send me a working link? or the file itself? i really want to play this game.

thanks!

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Re: Umbra [Psychological Horror/Drama/Survival][Phase 1]

#10 Post by Maelstrom-Fenrir » Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:43 pm

strangebrew wrote:hey guys, a bit of a problem here, when i download umbra phase 1 from the dropbox link you listed it downloads umbra phase 2 instead.
any help? maybe someone can send me a working link? or the file itself? i really want to play this game.

thanks!
Hmm, not sure how that happened when I send beta links to my beta and then fixed phase1's link I must have accidentally used the wrong link, since I've been use editing the same script, I must have used the wrong one. Sorry about that. The correct link should be in place now.

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