Lemma Soft Forums

MimirollCookie wrote:

KuroMitsuki wrote:1. Did you liked the plot?
It was short and sweet. Decent, I'd say.
2. What is the first ending that you got?
Best Ending
3. Who is your favorite character?
Myself XD Jk, I guess it'd have to be Mina
4. Any critiques?
The only thing I can really point out are grammatical errors and the like. Also, the music often played over the voice acting. Besides that, no.
5. What name did you used?
Nicole, which got weird when she mentioned a guy, but that was my own mistake.
6. What is the nickname that you used?
Nikoru for some strange reason.
7. What is the Main heroine's name?
Mina
8. Any questions?
Nope
9. Any comments?
Ah yes, the artwork and voice acting were great

Hey there! Thanks for the reply!! I still haven't post Version 1.1 because my internet's slow.
Anyways, thank you!

This is still the same person, I just somehow had two accounts. -_- Anyway, you're welcome!

Well..... That makes sense. :>

Congratulations on finishing, MimirollCookie! I'm so happy for you.

I'm going to play it and give you my thoughts on it later. I can't wait to see what kind of sweet treat you've cooked up. ♥

Thanks Dreamgazer!

Hey guys....... The version 1.1 is still not released sorry.

MimirollCookie wrote:Thanks sangoandmiroku799! Looking forward to it!

Aww, you're the first creator to respond to me!! Haha. Thank you!

1. Did you like the plot?
It was cute but not very thoroughly explained. If you flesh out the backstory more, it could turn into a really touching piece.
2. What is the first ending that you got?
Good end.
3. Who is your favorite character?
The manager, I guess. She was pretty sweet. "I" was kind of a jerk to her, haha.
4. Any critiques?
There were a few past tense issues I noticed, such as Also, and A few more as well, but I don't want to bog you down with errors. I'll be glad to point them out if you want me to, though.
Also, I think the writing seemed a bit too simple and suffered from lack of variety, which detracted from the story a bit. For example, the overuse of "okay"; it could have been easily replaced by sure, yes ma'am, all right, or any number of words. Just some nit-picky criticism from an English teacher - my eye is trained for these things. Don't mean to be harsh
5. What name did you use?
Sarah
6. What is the nickname that you used?
Sakura 7. What is the Main heroine's name?
Lia
8. Any questions?
When is your next project due out? I can't wait! :3
9. Any comments?
Overall, a cute game - as sweet as its name.
The art and voices were very cute as well!
Again, congrats and I'll look out for more releases from you!

sangoandmiroku799 wrote:

MimirollCookie wrote:Thanks sangoandmiroku799! Looking forward to it!

Aww, you're the first creator to respond to me!! Haha. Thank you!

1. Did you like the plot?
It was cute but not very thoroughly explained. If you flesh out the backstory more, it could turn into a really touching piece.
2. What is the first ending that you got?
Good end.
3. Who is your favorite character?
The manager, I guess. She was pretty sweet. "I" was kind of a jerk to her, haha.
4. Any critiques?
There were a few past tense issues I noticed, such as

"Do they loved me? Did they ever loved me?"

Also,

"WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAID?"

and

"overprices" instead of "overpriced".

A few more as well, but I don't want to bog you down with errors. I'll be glad to point them out if you want me to, though.
Also, I think the writing seemed a bit too simple and suffered from lack of variety, which detracted from the story a bit. For example, the overuse of "okay"; it could have been easily replaced by sure, yes ma'am, all right, or any number of words. Just some nit-picky criticism from an English teacher - my eye is trained for these things. Don't mean to be harsh
5. What name did you use?
Sarah
6. What is the nickname that you used?
Sakura

Why are you asking my nickname?! Are you a pervert? xD

7. What is the Main heroine's name?
Lia
8. Any questions?
When is your next project due out? I can't wait! :3
9. Any comments?
Overall, a cute game - as sweet as its name.
The art and voices were very cute as well!
Again, congrats and I'll look out for more releases from you!

Thanks! I was about to release version 1.1 when I saw your critique, I'll make a version 1.2!
Hmm..... I'm not quite sure when my new project will be out. Thanka for looking forward!!
Off-topic: THANKS SANGOANDMIROKU799! YOUR COMMENT MEANS A LOT TO ME !!

MimirollCookie wrote:Thanks! I was about to release version 1.1 when I saw your critique, I'll make a version 1.2!
Hmm..... I'm not quite sure when my new project will be out. Thanka for looking forward!!
Off-topic:

If you really can't wait for my next project, read my novels at Wattpad! My username is @MimirollCookie! )

THANKS SANGOANDMIROKU799! YOUR COMMENT MEANS A LOT TO ME !!

Haha no pressure! I actually just read through everyone's posts and realized there were four endings, not two. >///<
So I went back and got them^^ So I take back my comment about the lack of thorough explanation! It was a bit too premature, sorry!
I'll check them out when I have time! Thanks!

sangoandmiroku799 wrote:

MimirollCookie wrote:Thanks! I was about to release version 1.1 when I saw your critique, I'll make a version 1.2!
Hmm..... I'm not quite sure when my new project will be out. Thanka for looking forward!!
Off-topic:

If you really can't wait for my next project, read my novels at Wattpad! My username is @MimirollCookie! )

THANKS SANGOANDMIROKU799! YOUR COMMENT MEANS A LOT TO ME !!

Haha no pressure! I actually just read through everyone's posts and realized there were four endings, not two. >///<
So I went back and got them^^ So I take back my comment about the lack of thorough explanation! It was a bit too premature, sorry!
I'll check them out when I have time! Thanks!

Don't worry! Your comment didn't hurt me! (Unless you say the game sucks. ;_;)
Anyway! Do take your time!

Umm... Where's Version 1.1? :3

Heya Yzza!
Sorry for the delay. *3*
I'll upload it ASAP!

Well, I got done with my first playthrough, and I got the "Good End". Ah, it was so short, but I will play and get the other endings~
But the art was adorable, and Mina is just so cute. Trina did an excellent job!

Kokoro Hane wrote:Well, I got done with my first playthrough, and I got the "Good End". Ah, it was so short, but I will play and get the other endings~
But the art was adorable, and Mina is just so cute. Trina did an excellent job!

Thanks Kokoro Hane!~ I'm glad you liked it!~

MimirollCookie wrote:

Kokoro Hane wrote:Well, I got done with my first playthrough, and I got the "Good End". Ah, it was so short, but I will play and get the other endings~
But the art was adorable, and Mina is just so cute. Trina did an excellent job!

Thanks Kokoro Hane!~ I'm glad you liked it!~

I'll be sure to answer the questionaire when I have gotten more endings~

EDIT; okay I think I got them all!

1. Did you liked the plot?
YES! It was so sweet, ohmygosh.

2. What is the first ending that you got?
The good ending~

3. Who is your favorite character?
Why, Mina of course~

4. Any critiques?
Some of the writing felt awkward and rushed, and a bit too simplistic at times. My advice would be to work on more fleshed-out and slightly more descriptive writing, as well as making sure the sentences flow more properly. Some things seemed to happen too quickly and made it feel out of place at times. 5. What name did you used?
Bob

6. What is the nickname that you used?
Cool guy

7. What is the Main heroine's name?
I kept it to Mina, it's just so perfect~

8. Any questions?
Will there ever be a longer version? *shot*

9. Any comments?
Mina is just so sweet I can't even. Trina really brought to life the bubbly and adorable nature of the manager! So overall, while it was a bit short and seemed a little bit rushed in the writing (but still fun, I enjoyed it), I LOVED it. It warmed my heart, it was just such a sweet story and it made me smile. If your goal was to make players smile and feel uplifted, trust me, you achieved it

Kokoro Hane wrote:

MimirollCookie wrote:

Kokoro Hane wrote:Well, I got done with my first playthrough, and I got the "Good End". Ah, it was so short, but I will play and get the other endings~
But the art was adorable, and Mina is just so cute. Trina did an excellent job!

Thanks Kokoro Hane!~ I'm glad you liked it!~

I'll be sure to answer the questionaire when I have gotten more endings~

EDIT; okay I think I got them all!

1. Did you liked the plot?
YES! It was so sweet, ohmygosh.

2. What is the first ending that you got?
The good ending~

3. Who is your favorite character?
Why, Mina of course~

4. Any critiques?
Some of the writing felt awkward and rushed, and a bit too simplistic at times. My advice would be to work on more fleshed-out and slightly more descriptive writing, as well as making sure the sentences flow more properly. Some things seemed to happen too quickly and made it feel out of place at times.

The most well-developed scene had to be the path toward the True Ending, so props on that~

5. What name did you used?
Bob

6. What is the nickname that you used?
Cool guy

7. What is the Main heroine's name?
I kept it to Mina, it's just so perfect~

8. Any questions?
Will there ever be a longer version? *shot*

9. Any comments?
Mina is just so sweet I can't even. Trina really brought to life the bubbly and adorable nature of the manager!

Especially in the scene where she explains why she cuts a cookie in half, aww it was so sweet! The writing felt a little cheesy, but she said it so perfectly with the right emotion you couldn't help but melt inside!

So overall, while it was a bit short and seemed a little bit rushed in the writing (but still fun, I enjoyed it), I LOVED it. It warmed my heart, it was just such a sweet story and it made me smile. If your goal was to make players smile and feel uplifted, trust me, you achieved it

OMG! Thanks for answering the questions!!

Yup. I had to rush the story because of two things:
It's NaNo and I'm lazy.~

Thanks for your kind words and sorry if I rushed it. :p
Well, my goal is to make people like my story. I'm glad you liked and I achieved your expectations.
I don't know if there's a longer version. :p
Thanks for your kind words!