Aw, this was such a cute VN. I loved the character artwork (Cerise's pouty face was especially adowable), and the backgrounds were all so pretty. The sprites of the girls with flowers in their hair was also lovely - and the CGs for it. Ailis' flower braid was adorable - it reminded me of Rapunzel from Tangled XD;
The GUI was seriously super pretty, too. I liked how it was consistent with the starry night theme. The unlockable extras, with the concept art and author/artist's notes, were also super fancy. I liked the scrolling text box XD
I think the story was constructed pretty well. The characters were all distinct, and I liked the back and forth conversation between the characters - particularly Cerise and Ailis. I like that Cerise and Ailis were created to contrast with each other, in both their designs and their personalities; it made their interactions a lot of fun to read. Also, it was cute Cerise really did love Ailis, even though she teased her all the time XD; Einar (I really liked her name) was a nice balance between the two of them, and some of her wry narrations were fun.
Since I liked Cerise and Ailis so much,
I was actually kind of sad about the ending... Like, I know they were originally one whole being, but after merging together, what happened to the Cerise and Ailis personalities? Did they 'die'? I guess you would say they were returned to their original state, but... If they were two separate beings for a while, they had their own memories and thoughts and feelings, didn't they? T_T
But the ending was done nicely, and it wrapped up all the plot points.
The pacing was also pretty nicely done, I think. It moved between some sadder scenes to cheerful ones, the tone was nice and balanced, and I don't think it moved too quickly or too slowly.
One note about the writing, though. You have a habit of using commas in places where full stops would be better, and some of the sentences are pretty clunky/awkward because of it. It's apparent throughout the whole VN, but more so in the narration. It doesn't happen as much in the dialogue.
Even so, it was a really nice story, and I enjoyed it a lot. Good job!
First of all, thank you so much for giving me a helpful critique regarding my writing! Others have pointed out to me that it reads pretty awkwardly in some places but I didn't know what I was doing wrong and they couldn't pin point it either. So thanks so much! I'll try and use less commas and more full stops in future projects. I find that I'm pretty good at coming up with stories, characters and plots. But the actual writing part is something I struggle with a lot... I think me having written this VN in the first place is a massive milestone for me haha, but practise makes perfect I guess! So thanks, it means a lot to me. Especially since you're my favourite EVN writer! ^w^
Thanks for all the nice comments. >///<
Ahhhh! I'm so happy that someone really enjoyed Ailis and Cerise as characters. I was afraid that maybe I concentrated on Einar too much and not enough on the two of them, because most people tend to pick Einar as their favourite hehe.
As for the ending...
I didn't think about it like that, wow that is pretty sad... But I guess Cerilis would have all their memories, thoughts and feelings stashed away within her somewhere. Since Cerilis does remember the times she spent with Einar when she was split in two as Ailis and Cerise. I wish I had more time to explore all this stuff! I just knew from the first word that Ailis and Cerise were eventually going to become Cerilis but maybe I didn't execute it as well as I would have liked too because most people seem kinda disappointed(?) with the ending. Momo and I are massive fans of Einar and Cerilis as a couple though haha, we love the ending. So maybe it was self indulgent...xD
(Whaa I'm rambling, sorry. ;w;)
Thank you so much for playing Starlit Flowers! We're both really happy that you took the time to read it on your own accord and that you enjoyed it too. <3
You were a massive inspiration for the both of us while we were working on this VN so we appreciate it a lot.