The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo2016]

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Didules
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The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo2016]

#1 Post by Didules » Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:48 pm

Image

==>Download on the itch page!<==


Image Genres:

-[GxG/B]
-Comedy
-Friendship
-Romance


Image Synopsis:

Helena has always justified her irresponsible life of partying with a smile and more beer. She wanted to live life to the fullest and not waste a single day on things she saw as “boring”. One day, though, one glass too much gets her into the hospital where she enjoys the company of her overly caring best friend Mel and handsome but kind of mysterious young man Alex. She finds herself in an unexciting environment where she feels trapped.
But, her boring nights become exciting when she hears a story of a ghost that roams the hospital in late hours…


Image Characters:

Image
ImageImage


Image Screenshots:
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More on the itch page :)


Image Credits:
Image
Main Artist: Didules
Writer: RockAn9el
Second writer/proofreader: Minilys

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#2 Post by KuroMitsuki » Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:22 pm

I shall check it out!

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#3 Post by CrystalArt » Fri Apr 01, 2016 9:19 pm

I have to say, it was very enjoyable! Great job! You certainly got a few chuckles from me :3
~Just a Newb~

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#4 Post by Didules » Sat Apr 02, 2016 3:58 am

KuroMitsuki wrote:I shall check it out!
We hope you'll enjoy it then!! And tell us what you thought of it! :)
CrystalArt wrote:I have to say, it was very enjoyable! Great job! You certainly got a few chuckles from me :3
Thanks a lot!!! We were quite worried about the game being funny or not, so you're reassurring us :)

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#5 Post by minyan » Mon Apr 04, 2016 10:45 pm

Downloaded! I'll post my thoughts here and rate it on itch.io after I play through! ^^

Edit:

Favorite quotes:
"Just so you know, glasses are awesome. And you suck" - Sounds like perfect best friend material right there xD

"Okay, bad pun, oh god, I'm that bored" - I loved that

"Well that was five seconds well spent"

"I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself to your other personality" - HA
Overall thoughts:

I loved the comedy! So funny, and each character's personality was really great. There were a few lines that were worded awkwardly or weirdly- not stylistically but like, just not quite natural sounding. But it wasn't too noticeable and I overlooked it most of the time. I'll admit the reveal for the phantom and such was just a bit of a letdown since it was built up and then didn't really get much of a conclusion, especially in Mel's route (which was my favorite of the two routes btw). But overall, great job!
Image ImageImage Image

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#6 Post by Seigetsu » Tue Apr 05, 2016 1:59 am

Congratz on completing NaNoRenO!

It was a fun, little game to play through. It didn't take me too long to go through both routes. The comedy was nice and I think the friendship was nicely developed. I did find the romance in both routes to be rather subtle though - then again, it's a short game, so it's understandable.

I did find it a little disappointing that the phantom was never really revealed, especially when, at the end of the credits, the nurse brought it up again. So was the phantom just a rumour? Or was it real? Also, I found it a little unnatural that the narrative was in the past tense while the conversations were (naturally) in the present tense. I suppose I'm a little more used to visual novel narratives being written in the present tense, especially when first-person point-of-view is used.

Overall, though, it was an enjoyable little game to play through. Thanks for the nice work! Best of luck in your future projects.

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#7 Post by Didules » Tue Apr 05, 2016 5:20 am

minyan wrote:Downloaded! I'll post my thoughts here and rate it on itch.io after I play through! ^^
[...]
Thanks for the thorough feedback! Since we're not english native, the weird-unatural sentences were meant happen, we will have to work harder on this, so thanks for telling us!
Also about the phantom... sorry if it was disappointing, actually I guess we were trying to be subtle with the post-credit scene, but ended up being not understandable at all :oops:
Maybe...consider it as a sort of sneak peek on our nex project? (okay nope, probably not that much of a sneak peek, though there'll be a link I guess XD)
Thanks a lot for your feedback, it was really nice to read, and will help us making better games in the future :3


Seigetsu wrote:It was a fun, little game to play through. It didn't take me too long to go through both routes. The comedy was nice and I think the friendship was nicely developed. I did find the romance in both routes to be rather subtle though - then again, it's a short game, so it's understandable.
Thanks a lot for the feedback!! :) Thanks for telling us the romance was too subtle, it seems it's a bad habit we have (our first game also was that way, romance was so subtle we were the only ones to see it, epic fail :lol: ). Though as you said, going all out on romance in such a short game may have been a bit too fast ><
Seigetsu wrote:So was the phantom just a rumour? Or was it real?
We thought people would find their own answer, or at least the one that fits them the best, but if you want I can give you hints about what we thought at that time:
BEWARE! It's may be spoilery of our next game(?)
Since the nurse talks about it again at the end of the game, the phantom does exist, or at least she knows something abuot a phantom. At the very end, though, she (opens her eyes, yay), and while talking to the Phantom, she looks at...you.
Now I already said quite a lot, and the rest spoils the concept of our next game XD
Seigetsu wrote:Also, I found it a little unnatural that the narrative was in the past tense while the conversations were (naturally) in the present tense. I suppose I'm a little more used to visual novel narratives being written in the present tense, especially when first-person point-of-view is used.
Thanks for telling us!!! Actually we kind of didn't know exactly what tense we should use (most of the team is french and thus is used to very litteral text with only past tense), I guess we will have to rethink of this :)
Overall, though, it was an enjoyable little game to play through. Thanks for the nice work! Best of luck in your future projects.
Thanks a lot for the feedback, we really appreciate your help, it'll make our nxt games better :)

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#8 Post by Zelan » Thu Apr 28, 2016 4:36 pm

Hey there! I just got done playing through Mel's route (so cute oh my gosh). I loved the game! Shorter than I had thought it would be, but of course that's understandable for a NaNo game and the writing was great. The art was awesome, too - I love the style of both the sprites and the BGs.

The only (minor) problem that I found was some typos, so I compiled an album of them her so that you can see them (and correct them if you want). Link

Also, I noticed here that the name goes off the textbox in a weird way.

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#9 Post by Didules » Fri Apr 29, 2016 9:14 am

Zelan wrote:Hey there! I just got done playing through Mel's route (so cute oh my gosh). I loved the game! Shorter than I had thought it would be, but of course that's understandable for a NaNo game and the writing was great. The art was awesome, too - I love the style of both the sprites and the BGs.
Thanks a lot for the feedback :D It is indeed quite short but we're glad you liked it!!
Zelan wrote:The only (minor) problem that I found was some typos, so I compiled an album of them her so that you can see them (and correct them if you want). Link

Also, I noticed here that the name goes off the textbox in a weird way.
I'm conflicted: I'm very embarrassed, but I also couldn't be more thankful! :oops: :lol: I'll correct all these as soon as I get home (oops, haha, the textbox ><), so thank you a lot! We're not native, and didn't have time to get it proofread or tested, so thank you a trillion time for telling us!!
Ah, but would you mind being in the credits as "Special thanks"? (Because we need to thank you, any way you want!)

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#10 Post by philip » Fri Apr 29, 2016 12:46 pm

@Didules-

Very nice game; played through it several times, so that I could enjoy both endings. It's a good story, and the artwork is quite nice.

Good job!

philip
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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#11 Post by Didules » Fri Apr 29, 2016 2:52 pm

philip wrote:@Didules-

Very nice game; played through it several times, so that I could enjoy both endings. It's a good story, and the artwork is quite nice.

Good job!

philip
Thanks a lot, philip!! The game doesn't need many playthrough to get the endings, but we're glad you wanted to have both :D Thanks a lot for the feedback! :D

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#12 Post by Zelan » Fri Apr 29, 2016 3:21 pm

Didules wrote: I'm conflicted: I'm very embarrassed, but I also couldn't be more thankful! :oops: :lol: I'll correct all these as soon as I get home (oops, haha, the textbox ><), so thank you a lot! We're not native, and didn't have time to get it proofread or tested, so thank you a trillion time for telling us!!
Ah, but would you mind being in the credits as "Special thanks"? (Because we need to thank you, any way you want!)
Oh, wow, I wouldn't mind! <3 No need to be embarrassed at all! English is a difficult language to learn, and the errors were never bad enough that I couldn't understand them. There's a reason that my Spanish teacher gives us points even if our grammar isn't perfect - it's the understanding that counts. And of course ANY game, even one by native speakers, is going to have mistakes if there wasn't a chance to test it. I've proofread a few other VNs before this one, and this one actually has less mistakes than the other two did.

I finished up playing through Alex's route (his ending was very sweet owo) and I found a few more typos. Again, nothing major, just figured I would let you guys know so that you're aware. c: Link

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#13 Post by Didules » Sun May 01, 2016 10:11 am

Zelan wrote:Oh, wow, I wouldn't mind! <3 No need to be embarrassed at all! English is a difficult language to learn, and the errors were never bad enough that I couldn't understand them. There's a reason that my Spanish teacher gives us points even if our grammar isn't perfect - it's the understanding that counts. And of course ANY game, even one by native speakers, is going to have mistakes if there wasn't a chance to test it. I've proofread a few other VNs before this one, and this one actually has less mistakes than the other two did.
Even if it's possible to understand it, it's a bit of annoying to see so many mistakes (and gosh, some were clearly avoidable :lol: ). I mean, sometimes it takes you slightbly aback (is that even english?) when you're playing a game/reading something. (I mean, it does that me when I see mistakes in French ><)

Everything has been corrected, and you've been added in the credits too (because without your help this game was filled with errors :oops: ), thanks a lot for helping us out!!! =)
I'm reuploading it now, but now I'm embarrassed that so many people played such a flawed version of the game :lol:

Thanks again ^o^)/

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Re: The Phantom of the Hospital[GxG/B][Comedy/Romance-NaNo20

#14 Post by Zelan » Sun May 01, 2016 2:00 pm

No problem! Thank you for adding me to the credits, it's really sweet of you. c:

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