[redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

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[redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#1 Post by Katy133 » Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:11 pm

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NaNoRenO 2016 || [Free] || Lemma Soft WIP Thread
Image
Is this a visual novel?
> Yes

Is this a comedy?
> Yes

Is this a horror game?
> Yes

Are there jumpscares?
> No. The visual novel will rely on atmosphere.

Is this fiction?
> Error

Is this game what it seems?
> No

Is this by Katy133?
> Yes

What is the game's twist?
> [redacted]

What does "redacted" mean?
> Pronounced: /ri'dakt/ Verb. Definition: To edit, erase, censor, or obscure.
Image
Image
THE STORY… sort of

Adrian has just moved into an old mansion with his girlfriend, Rebecca. After another couple hurriedly leave the mansion, a spooky backstory about the house is revealed, and some seemingly unexplainable events occur, Adrian comes to a conclusion...

He realises that he is in a horror game. A badly-written horror game.

And he wants to leave...
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THE TEAM

Art, Writing, & Programming..............Katy133
Art.............................................YuukiCrossPudding
Art.............................................fmjaye
Art.............................................Kyuu
Art.............................................Norbez

FEATURES
  • Multiple endings.
  • Second Chance button: If you die in the game, you're given an option to go back to a previous point in time.
  • Other features: It's a mysteryyyy...
## Hello? Can anyone read this?
## I don't know if you can see this, but I need your help.
## I need you to s̝̲̪̬̀t̴͚͍͙̼̘̟ͅo͚̣̙͝ͅṕ̥̳̳̫ ҉̭h̴̰̜̣̳͍e͕̣͖̮̫̯͘ṛ̹̳ͅ ̖̰͕̩̰̪̜b̞̪̺̬e̺̥̻͔̩f̘͇̩̖̳͞o̱̜̠̗̬̼͉r̖̦̭̩͉̳͙e̛̹̫ ̴͍̳̟i̙̺͎͕ͅt̙̠̟͝'̞̘̕s͏̼̞ ̹̦̱͕̦̰t̻̞o̭o̩̭̘̘̙̟ ͏̖̮̱̖l͈̫̭̯a̮̖̤̘̩̩͘t̳̱͇̹e͙͟.̬̞̩̹̗͚͡


PLEASE COMMENT

1. First impressions in general? (On story, game type etc.?)
2. Thoughts on the characters?
4. Comments on the art?
5. How far did you get into the game?
6. Was anything in the game too confusing?
7. What did you think of the game by the end?
8. Other critique/suggestions/questions? Let me know!
Last edited by Katy133 on Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#2 Post by Electromancer » Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:37 pm

- I really liked your NaNo game last year.

- You and YuukiCrossPudding, two of my favorite EVN community members, worked on it.

- The self-aware, satirical horror plot seems really interesting and novel.

Yep, this is earning a play from me. I'll get to it as soon as I find the time!
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#3 Post by Dark Sentinel » Fri Apr 15, 2016 8:08 am

1. Personally, not into this type of stories at all, but a good novel is always pleasure to read.
Especially since it's NaNo. Oh well.
2. Tirle. That... person is awesome somehow.
3. The question was lost there, I suppose.
4. The artist's work is great.
5. I guess I managed to beat it, eh?
6. Only during the actual game, the, let's say, epilogue, put much of everything in place.
7. This thing is so much screwed on so many levels. I definitely like it.
8. This is going to be a huge mess of bugreports, comments, questions, etc, okay?
8.1. Bug report, I guess? Game crashes when I click "Credits" in main menu.

Code: Select all

While running game code:
  File "game/credits.rpy", line 32, in script
Exception: Could not find font 'CALIFB.ttf'.
Same for game endings, I guess.
8.2. Poster says "See the amazing Miro!", ingame text says "Miro" and sometimes "Milo".
8.3. Additional bugreport. Clara's and sometimes Rebecca's lines are slightly broken for me, see the attach.
8.4. In some of the scenes there're speeches the are said by certain characters, by game logic suspects them to be just thoughts or descriptions of situation.
8.5.
Hanna? Hana? Hell, how do I spell it? Whatever.
What the hell? I mean...
Whatever, really, just reconnect me back, I need answers there.
8.6.
>"Yes.", "Yes.", "Yes.", "Yes.". What.
8.7.
"GAME OVER". Honestly, I expected YOU DIED" somehow.
8.8. I can't follow the development of the plot on
separate launches of the game.
I bet Adrian is already fed up with what's happening around him.
8.9. I sort of expected you the player
toocate the file you know about without the need for the game to tell you about it.
8.10. Not really the critique or anything, just like my own thoughts.
I find it very hard to play horror games without a machinegun at least. I know it's useless against a proper ghost, but oh well, clinking casings under your feet, smell of gunpowder in the air, barking machnegun in your hands and your final warcry of absolute comtempt and then glorious death is better than trying to hide in the nearest corner and then pathetic death.
Or maybe I'm too militaristic. Oh well.
8.11. Who/what is Tirle?
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brokentext.jpg
щ (ºДº ) щ

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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#4 Post by Katy133 » Fri Apr 15, 2016 3:18 pm

Dark Sentinel wrote:8.1. Bug report, I guess? Game crashes when I click "Credits" in main menu.

Code: Select all

While running game code:
  File "game/credits.rpy", line 32, in script
Exception: Could not find font 'CALIFB.ttf'.
Thanks for telling me. I've now added text fonts inside the "Game" folder, this way the game always finds it, even if it's not installed on a computer.
Dark Sentinel wrote:8.2. Poster says "See the amazing Miro!", ingame text says "Miro" and sometimes "Milo".
Thanks. I've gone and fixed that in an update.
Dark Sentinel wrote:8.3. Additional bugreport. Clara's and sometimes Rebecca's lines are slightly broken for me, see the attach.
That's intentional ;)
Dark Sentinel wrote:8.4. In some of the scenes there're speeches the are said by certain characters, by game logic suspects them to be just thoughts or descriptions of situation.
Oh, thank you for pointing that out. I'm going to go fix that too.
Dark Sentinel wrote:3. The question was lost there, I suppose.
Me: *facepalms* :oops: Oops.
Dark Sentinel wrote:8.11. Who/what is Tirle?
I'm not sure if I ought to just explain what Tirle is. Are they a ghost? A corrupted AI? A combination of the two?
I will however say Tirle practices Neo-Paganism/Neo-Wiccan traditions.
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#5 Post by Heiden » Sat Apr 16, 2016 5:41 pm

YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I was SO SO SO looking forward to this! So glad to see you finished! I'll play right away! :D

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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#6 Post by paradigmshifty » Mon Apr 18, 2016 6:21 am

This game was so good. I was hoping from the WIP thread that it would have this kind of vibe.

But I was NOT expecting:
the whole game to turn into a slice of life high school dating VN for a chapter! (I nearly cried because it was just too good!) And the way that was handled, was great in my opinion. It was obvious that you needed to re-open the game to keep playing, without there needing to be an immersion breaking line to tell you to do so. I wonder if you planned to do this right from the start, did you plan to have a third game as well!? The whole game could've been a little bit longer maybe, I felt that there would be one more challenge towards the end. Not that it was a problem, I just wanted to keep going because I was enjoying it I think!
Art and music was great. The art on things like the poster, tarot cards (who made those!?), and then the animations (rocking horse, etc.) all added together to give the game a lot of charm and polish I think. Sprites and BGs were great too. Finding all the right music assets/sfx must've taken a while!
When you say there are multiple endings... is that a joke about it having all the meta stuff? Or are there literally different endings!? hehe. I thought that the story was pretty linear and the ending I got was the way it had to go! But I am now very curious about the other choices you can make in the first chapter of the game. Are the other endings all deaths?? Hehe.
I did spot quite a few typos.
I'd usually use save points, so that I could find them again if you needed them. But that wasn't an option in this game, hehe!
I'd suggest reading the game out loud to yourself (or the self-voicing feature) and you'll likely spot most of them.
But if there really is a lot of branching that I don't know about, maybe that isn't such an easy task.
All in all I would say that this was a great game. The writing, art and game design gelled very nicely together. For me this was your best game yet!

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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#7 Post by Norbez » Mon Apr 18, 2016 8:18 am

Made a recording of my comments/critique here: https://soundcloud.com/norbez/for-katy- ... ife-review. I hope it helps. :)
Hi there! Hope you have an awesome day! Keep up the good work on your project. You can do it! :)

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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#8 Post by seacowsoda » Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:38 am

Just played this one yesterday, and I really liked it!
It reminds me a little bit of The Magic Circle, in the best possible way -- just in the meta-ness of it all. I also liked how you involved the player in these "nonstandard" ways of playing, but it still totally made sense and I never felt confused about what to do next. The very, very first time you have to reboot the game, you ALMOST lost me... but then I figured out what to do next. ;)
Really great work!

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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#9 Post by Amiralo » Mon Apr 18, 2016 7:18 pm

.....I am stuck on what to do after i am killed by clara. i did what the game file told me to do, but no difference.
..Help a technologically challenged visual novel player out?

(By the way, i am totally digging the meta levelness of the game. It's really reaaally cool. the shoujou manga one had me laughing quite a bit, especially when kaemon turned yandere in the end XD)
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#10 Post by Katy133 » Tue Apr 19, 2016 5:03 pm

Amiralo wrote:.....I am stuck on what to do after i am killed by clara. i did what the game file told me to do, but no difference.
..Help a technologically challenged visual novel player out?
There should be a button near the bottom of the error message in the game, saying "Bypass."
=================================================
=================================================
paradigmshifty wrote:Art and music was great. The art on things like the poster, tarot cards (who made those!?), and then the animations (rocking horse, etc.) all added together to give the game a lot of charm and polish I think. Sprites and BGs were great too.
I'll post a more detailed art credits list here for you. I can't thank all the artists enough for their work. (Unmarked game spoilers below.)

Art Credits:
Rebecca's Sprite: YuukiPudding (@10_salt)
Adrian Defeating the Ghost CG, Tarot Card CGs, Basement BG: Jaye (@fakemagicjaye)
Hana's Sprite, Rough lineart for Kaemon and Sen's Sprites: Kyuu (On Lemma Soft Forums); (Kaemon and Sen's colouring done by Katy133)
Magic Act Poster CG: Naomi Norbez (@NaomiNorbez); (Lineart by Katy133)
High School BG Asset: Uncle Mugen (@oelvn); (It was originally a 3D model render; I painted over it)
Textbox UI Assets: Nuxill (http://www.nuxill.tumblr.com)
RPG UI Assets: Ravenmore (http://www.dycha.net)
(The rest of the artwork was done by me.)
paradigmshifty wrote:
When you say there are multiple endings... is that a joke about it having all the meta stuff? Or are there literally different endings!? hehe. I thought that the story was pretty linear and the ending I got was the way it had to go! But I am now very curious about the other choices you can make in the first chapter of the game. Are the other endings all deaths?? Hehe.
There's three different endings.
Some are much shorter than others, but each ending gives you at least some extra information.
Also, thank you for pointing out the typos. I'm going to remove them in the next game update.
=================================================
=================================================
Norbez wrote:Made a recording of my comments/critique here: https://soundcloud.com/norbez/for-katy- ... ife-review. I hope it helps. :)
Ah! Thank you so much for making this! I really enjoyed listening to your talk! C:

I'm gonna put some responses/answers to your thoughts here: (Unmarked game spoilers below.)

- On the beginning bit were you talk about what I did with Ren'Py: I was actually inspired by a VN game called Save the Date, which I recommend playing. That VN basically introduced me to the concept of Ren'Py using what's called "persistent data": Information that you can program the game to keep, even if the player quits, reloads the game, or starts the game over. This information is usually used by VN devs to build a "CG Gallery" (that "unlocks" CGs as the player progresses the game), but learned that persistent data could also be used to unlock stuff in-game too. Save the Date's use of it really fascinates me, partly because programming is still something I feel I don't know a lot about, but also because of how the use of it affects and develops Save the Date's story.

- On Headcanons: I can confirm your headcanon that there were indeed previous play testers before Adrian. I guess Adrian being like the 144th tester was the straw that broke the camel's back for Clara: She must've gone through the motions of living the same life 144 times in a row.

- On The Truman Show: When you mentioned that the town The Truman Show was filmed in actually exists, I immediately remembered "The Village" from The Prisoner, which is also a place that (creepily) exists in Wales.

The Prisoner is an interesting British 1967s series about an ex-agent who wakes up trapped in a tiny village on an island run by a "Big Brother Is Watching You"-type operation (we're talking The Truman Show-levels of cameras everywhere!). The ex-agent is told that he's only allowed to leave if he tells The Village why he quit his job as an agent. Refusing to tell anyone why he quit, the ex-agent tries various ways to escape. There's a pretty interesting/amusing ongoing video series discussing The Prisoner here.

- On whether Hana and Adrian's relationship is a friendship or romance by the end: The ending is meant to be ambiguous and up to the player's interpretation. If you want them to be friends, then they ended up as friends, and vice-versa.

I actually took a lot of inspiration for that scene from the ending of 12 Angry Men (the 1957 black-and-white film adaptation of the stage play). The film ends with the main character finally exiting the claustrophobic room, and walks down the courthouse steps. He spots one of the twelve other jury members: The elderly man who 1) Was the first person who showed faith in the protagonist, and, 2) Was revealed during the story that he felt lonely and ignored due to his age. The protagonist asks him what his name is (which is quite shocking to the audience: It makes us realise we've gone through the entire film without knowing anyone's name). The man tells him, and they part ways, possibly implying that they end up meeting each other again and becoming friends from the experience. (Also, 12 Angry Men is a film that I find really intelligently-written and highly recommend seeing, but that's worth a whole other discussion.)

- On who the voice is: Simon is the voice in the game's promo description ("I need you to stop her...").

- On Hana's age: I don't really have an answer to this (which is perhaps for the best--As you said, that's a whole can of worms there). I will however say that the ambiguity of Hana's age can be used by the reader to think about the following: 1) How young characters are often played by actors a lot older than the character. And, 2) How in video games, you often put yourself into a role where you're a considerably older/younger person.

- On The Journey of Ignorance: I'm not sure if doing a talk on TJoI will provide a lot, because I didn't write The Journey of Ignorance, I only drew, programed, and gave the writer the loose premise for the story. Also, I made the game using Visual Novelty, which turns out to be a very buggy VN-maker. Quitting the game (unless you quit using the method described in the ReadMe file) causes the game to crash, along with any other programs you have open (Notepad for taking notes, etc.).

- On the end of your talk: I'm glad that the jokes in the VN made you laugh. :) Saying that I've improved; saying that the game's writing is able to switch well from drama to comedy (something that I admire in other people's work); saying that you want to write fanfiction; being able to talk about my work for so long. That is such a huge, amazing, wonderful compliment to me. *hugs* I'm really flattered, and I'm glad that you ultimately enjoyed playing it.

You've inspired me to make a "Behind the Scenes" post for the game later. I'm gonna go work on that as soon as I can.
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#11 Post by sasquatchii » Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:50 am

Wow. This is one of my favorite visual novels that I've played this year. Awesome job, major kudos to you & everyone involved in this project :)

1. First impressions in general? (On story, game type etc.?)

Honestly, when I saw this I thought "YES ANOTHER KATY133 GAME" and downloaded it without reading any of the description and basically going into it blind without any idea of what it was about. I love all of your other games, and this one did not disappoint. From the first few minutes I was immediately sucked in, and so curious to learn more and find out what would happen next.

2. Thoughts on the characters?

I love how, in such a short amount of time, you manage to make Adrian and Hana feel like real, fully fleshed out people. That's really hard to do in short stories!! I instantly liked Adrian because he felt relatable and I enjoyed how Hana was hilarious and self aware.

4. Comments on the art?

LOVED IT!
Real talk: Clara's sprite randomly appearing at times scared the bejeezus out of me. And the quit screen with her face where she says "Are you running away?" was SO DISTURBING. I actually had to turn the volume down midway through the game (as I was suspicious of jump scares and am a scaredy cat).
It's been awesome to see your art evolve over time. I think your artwork is usually pretty adorable, and it really surprised me that a sprite created by you could scare me so much!

I also really enjoyed the background in the house/mansion and how detailed it was!

5. How far did you get into the game?

I think I finished it?
I got the ending where Adrian gets Hana's email/number and they agree to meet up later. Tirle asked me if I wanted to do it over, but I said nope! I'm pretty happy with my ending.
6. Was anything in the game too confusing?
I think, had I not played Undertale, I would have been SO CONFUSED at first by the game shutting down. I'm kind of a dummy when it comes to technical stuff, and I struggled a little bit with the "Clara.EXE" file change. The first thing I did was make the change in the text editor & save it, but the "bypass" option was still grayed out. I had to close the game & restart it and go through everything all over again for the bypass button to work. I spent a good 10 minutes rooting around through the games files & folders looking for a "Clara.EXE" file, LOL. It wasn't until I came here and looked through the comments that I figured out that my initial thought was right, and then I tried restarting the game and that worked.
7. What did you think of the game by the end?

That it was too short!! That's not a terrible thing, I really had fun and was wishing for more. I guess that's my only beef with the game: the ending being a little abrupt. It would have been fun to follow Adrian & Hana along a little longer, and slowly start to figure out their situation, so at the end the big reveal would be less abrupt and more like "that makes total sense!! I can't believe I didn't come to this conclusion by myself" for the player. How do you do this? I think dropping more subtle clues along the way helps.

8. Other critique/suggestions/questions? Let me know!

I think you nailed the GUI for Hana's game– I literally laughed out loud when I saw it. And the sounds & music complimented the game so nicely! Really looking forward to whatever you work on next :)
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#12 Post by PeroxidePrince » Fri Apr 22, 2016 11:23 pm

1. First impressions in general? (On story, game type etc.?)
I thought it'd just be a self-aware parody of horror stories. I was surprised, in the best way.

2. Thoughts on the characters?
Adrian was a really likeable and relatable protagonist.
Hana was great. Her situation reminded me of that one comic that made the rounds like a year or two ago where it was about a pink haired girl trying to dodge her destiny as an anime protagonist? I can't seem to find it since I don't remember where it was from, though...
But yeah, I laughed pretty hard when I opened up the game again when it'd swapped over to her game. I didn't expect that at all.
I'm so intrigued by AI Clara. It would've been great to be able to learn more about her and what led her to develop self-awareness.
Tirle was such a mystery. Were they also an AI that gained conscience like Clara? I don't know if I'd like knowing for sure what they are, since the mysteriousness works for their character, haha.
4. Comments on the art?
Even though the game had a number of artists, I felt like the art style generally worked quite well together.
I also liked how the change in art style was used to further emphasize the change in setting when you jump from Adrian's game to Hana's.
I do wish that the art style was a little more cohesive when Adrian and Hana meet in the real world, since the stylistic difference between the two characters is quite big, but I understand that it was a NaNo game with a short development time, so spending time on making new sprites for a short scene at the end wouldn't really be efficient.
5. How far did you get into the game?
I finished it! At first I'd gotten the ending where Adrian attacks Clara with the knife, and I thought all the endings would be in the same vein. I'm really glad I continued playing.
6. Was anything in the game too confusing?
I don't think so, everything was fairly straight-forward.

7. What did you think of the game by the end?
I loved it. The meta-ness of the story was great, and I enjoyed the clever use of programming/persistent data to tell a story.
The intentional glitchy-ness of the game really helped to set the mood -- really liked how sometimes the text would display oddly, or that there would be graphical glitches on Rebecca's sprite. The way the background switched to broken images when the game was shutting down was really effective too.
8. Other critique/suggestions/questions? Let me know!
Honestly, I would've just liked a longer version of the game, but that's just because I liked it a lot haha.
Thanks very much for making this game!

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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#13 Post by Heiden » Sun Apr 24, 2016 2:04 pm

YOOOO okay I finally had time to play and OH MY GOD. I knew I was in for a great time because this is a Katy133 game and I've hella enjoyed everything you've made, but I was BLOWN AWAY.

1. First impressions in general? (On story, game type etc.?)
Like Three Guys that Paint, I knew something was up due to the glitches and the person calling out for help at the end of the post, which really got me interested and on my seat to figure out what was going to happen!


2. Thoughts on the characters?
I liked Adrian a lot,
especially the part where he's debating whether or not he truly loves Rebecca, knowing that he's a video game character, and the implications of this after he's woken up from the game. Very deep stuff.
I also liked Hana, and like PeroxidePrince I was reminded of that tumblr comic, haha.

4. Comments on the art?
I liked it!

All the styles looked great (and really helped to emphasize the later plot twist haha). I think the only time the difference in styles really brought me out of the moment was
the ending where Adrian kills Clara
, since before then all the different styles were for things that were independent of each other
(the tarot cards, the magician poster, the entire part of Hana's story)
, but the CG was gorgeous so I didn't mind. :)

5. How far did you get into the game?
I think I got all the endings!
Killed by Clara in attic, Killed Clara by knife, and the ending where Hana and Adrian wake up. I also tried reseting my game and keeping it the same at the end.
6. Was anything in the game too confusing?
I remember wondering in the beginning of the game about how
how does a video game character realize they're in a video game and how do they know what glitches are without a basis of normal life, but well these answers all got answered with the reveal at the end. :)
EDIT: I forgot to ask, Adrian mentioned that
their scarf was really Rebecca's and they had swapped scarf and coat, but he's still wearing it at the end of the game (at least from what I remember), so does that mean it was his all along?
7. What did you think of the game by the end?
I really liked it! It was a great ride from start to finish and wanted to know more about the world it takes place in.

8. Other critique/suggestions/questions? Let me know!
LOVED LOVED LOVED IT. I think it's now my favorite work of yours.

I'm eagerly looking forward to anything else you make!

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Katy133
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Completed: The Heart of Tales, [redacted] Life, Must Love Jaws, A Tune at the End of the World, Three Guys That Paint, The Journey of Ignorance, Portal 2.5.
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#14 Post by Katy133 » Mon Apr 25, 2016 5:57 pm

Heiden wrote:EDIT: I forgot to ask, Adrian mentioned that
their scarf was really Rebecca's and they had swapped scarf and coat, but he's still wearing it at the end of the game (at least from what I remember), so does that mean it was his all along?
Yep. Yep, it was his all along. When it comes to Adrian's fashion sense, he has no one to blame but him self! :lol:

Thank you for your comments! I'm really glad you liked it!
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fizzhog
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Re: [redacted] Life (Horror/Comedy) (NaNoRenO 2016)

#15 Post by fizzhog » Wed Apr 27, 2016 10:40 am

I found this game quite astonishing. I'm new to Visual Novels, having only played a few in recent days, and I had no idea that they could like this. I found it funny, chilling at times and very inventive. Really, really good.

I played it right through to the end in one sitting. Even as a VN noob I had no trouble figuring out what to do with one exception:
When the game tells you to edit a file the only way I could get it to activate the bypass key was by closing the game and then restarting and going through the previous bit of dialogue again. Was this correct or was there another way? Having to go through the dialogue again was the only part I felt broke immersion. Also when you reset at the end will the game change the file back for a future playthrough or do you have to do that manually?
I did spot a few minor typos. 'Fraid I didn't memorise them. 'Fought' instead of 'fraught' was one iirc.

Thanks a lot for this. Really inspiring stuff for someone new to Visual Novels.

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