Nusantara [GxB] NEW REN'PY VERSION! (Windows,Linux,Mac)

[SweetChiel]

Darling, let me begin by hugging you until you can't breathe anymore (I really would, if you were in front of me )! This game is AMAZING!!! It's fantastic and wonderful and... I'm still screaming internally. I love EVERYTHING about this game... story, art, music... oh, where do I even begin? But yes, I'll try to give you as detailed of a review as I can, and at the end I'll answer your little questionnaire (if I don't somehow do that throughout my review) This is gonna be a long one, so make yourself comfortable. Okay, comfy? Here we go!

Story:

Now this is the main reason I play VNs and I have a few years under my belt of dabbling in fanfiction and original fiction, so I'm usually very picky about which VNs are worth me spending a full day or more to play through. But yours tickled my fancy from the moment I first saw it, because I've always been interested in myths and ancient cultures. Sadly I couldn't play the first version you made, mostly because I'm not a spastic saver when I play games so I probably would've ended up frustrated beyond belief if the game started crashing on me and I kept losing progress. So I had to wait for the Ren'Py version, but the wait was definitely worth it!

I don't think I've ever had the chance to delve too deeply into myths and stories from that part of the world, other than Japanese ones. The most I knew of Indonesia were a few documentaries I watched about Komodo Dragons and other wildlife on those islands. So your story had me very highly interested even before I had the possibility of actually playing the game.

And then I downloaded the Ren'Py version and started a playthrough and I was so utterly sucked into the world you created that I never wanted to leave again. I did play the guys' routes in the order you suggested - Mitra, Rama and finally Reksa - and the story just flowed so well in that order, it made so much sense and it was like I was discovering a new, unexplored part of the island with each new route. I guess I wouldn't have gotten such a sense of continuous flow, if I'd played Reksa first (as I wanted to, since I first laid eyes on your gorgeous art ). But I'm so glad I took your advice and played them in the correct order.

And yes, we've all seen the "war" thing being used in various ways in VNs over the years, but yours was set in a world where it just fit so naturally with the characters' way of life and their mentality. I was a bit afraid that it would feel forced, or that it would be used as just an excuse for the MC and her "chosen one" to bond and blah blah... However, I was thoroughly caught off guard when I realized you didn't shy away from the brutality and horror of war. Because yes, war is so much more than just a couple of random fights set against a narrated background of a "bigger battle". I loved how personal this war was for each and every one of the characters, and that it wasn't just about the MC and her chosen bachelor; it was about everyone and even the supporting cast got their moments under the spotlight. That was a very pleasant surprise, because it's something I've rarely seen in VNs that include battles/war scenes.

My only tiny gripe (and this is only because I'm a grammar nazi ) is that there are quite a few grammar mistakes here and there, along with a few spelling ones. Fortunately your story overall was so good and the characters so well written, that those mistakes didn't manage to pull me out of it. I was so utterly invested in the characters by the time Chapter II rolled by, that I barely even offered a second of attention to any mistakes I encountered. But as I said, me being the grammar-obsessed freak that I am, I couldn't help but notice them - as I said, it's only a tiny gripe and quite honestly the only one I have with this game; which is weird, because I always find at least a few details I can nitpick about

With that being said, here are my thoughts on the characters... I might put that in spoilers, because I'll probably start rambling about each of them and I don't want to accidentally spoil things for people who have yet to play the game

Characters:
Tamara:

Usually I don't comment at all on the MC of a VN because more often than not I feel they're either too generic, or they get on my nerves way too much for me to say anything nice about them. Tamara, however, was a very pleasant surprise because she was so... normal. Yes, she had her silly/stupid moments when I wanted to punch her in the face, but who doesn't have those? What really drew me to her was that most of her behavior was how I imagine any normal and sane person would react in the situations she was put in. She wasn't over the top just for the sake of it, she wasn't annoying and she had that perfect mix of damsel-in-distress and badass-heroine. I don't know how it happened, but darling you did it! You wrote an MC that is completely relatable and likeable!

Mitra:

Now Mitra - while sadly not my favorite of the bachelors - was like a breath of fresh air for me. It feels like it's been forever since the last time I saw a family-oriented guy in a VN. I may be biased, because I'm very family-oriented as well, but I love Mitra to bits. And I've always enjoyed seeing large guys with very soft and caring personalities, so that was another plus for me. His relationship with the triplets was beyond adorable and every time I saw them together my mind could only focus on one thought: "You're going to be a wonderful father!" That said, I had hoped to see a Mitra jr. in the bonus scene - at least in her belly, if not in her arms. But hey, there's always room for a sequel~

Rama:

Now Rama isn't exactly my type of guy, so I couldn't get too attached to him at all. Yes he was funny and made me chuckle more than once, and his story arc was really well written. But he just didn't appeal to me personally. That's not a bad thing, I'm sure there are plenty of people who love him as much as I love Mitra or Reksa. So that's not me saying that his route was bad, heaven knows it was very well done; but I loved his bad ending probably more than his good ending, because that was just such a well described descent into insanity.

Reksa:

And we finally get to my favorite bachelor, the short-tempered Komodo. I don't even know where to start with Reksa... he's adorable and cute and funny and HOT goddamnit! Now, while I said I like big-framed guys with gentle demeanors, I absolutely ADORE the lithe, panther-like type. And Reksa was always just that perfect combination of wild and submissive, gentle and rough. And I'm sure a lot of other girls giggled uncontrollably that his weapon is a whip, because we're all pervy like that As I'm sure many others were tickled to death by his possessive and dominating demeanor - there are VERY few women out there who can say they didn't at least once dream that a guy would just dominate them through and through. And by God, Reksa hit that nail on the head and delivered with a vengeance! I was so eager for the scene in his bedroom to go further than it did, and his bonus scene was perfect but again I had hoped it would go a bit further - but that's just the perv in me talking, so don't mind that

But his story arc was by far the one that hit me the deepest, and his death (on the route for his good end) was the one moment in the game that made me cry. And that's saying a lot, because usually I don't cry at VNs, there's just something that keeps me from doing it as I would for a movie. So when a VN is actually good enough to draw tears from me, that is some VERY high quality, compelling writing. My only wish is that there would have been a CG for that moment, like you had for Rama for example. It probably would have shattered my heart to bits to actually see him lying on the ground dead, but it would have made for a much stronger emotional impact and I would have probably started sobbing. Bottom line is, I would adore having a sequel for Reksa alone... I can safely say he was my most favorite character out of the entire cast.

Purba:

Surprised that I would comment on the "bad guy"? Well, too bad, because you wrote one heck of a good villain! Throughout Mitra's and Rama's routes I was a bit disappointed in him because his reasoning seemed so shallow. But then I played Reksa's route and as I suspected, the story shifted quite a bit from the Komodo's point of view... and I discovered a really good, unexpected back story to Purba - what with his father being the previous Chief. It made me see him in a different - much better - light than before, because now his actions actually carried emotional weight and allowed me to get attached to him as a character. And I certainly didn't expect him to be THAT ruthless... his fight with Reksa was simply painful to go through but I do love a well written villain, that's what every story like this needs.

Supporting cast:

Again, I don't usually comment on the supporting cast either, because they're usually there just for the sake of it and I don't have the chance to get emotionally attached to them. But good heavens, I loved EVERYONE on the supporting cast. Yuda and Asih were such a perfect match, that I loved them as much as I envied them for having such a wonderful relationship. Yuda was the kind of brother I would probably wrestle with on a daily basis, and then cuddle the heck out of him just for the fun of annoying him Asih was an angel... I would pay anything to have a sister like her in real life. Granny Sukma was everything I wanted from a grandmother-figure who also has to be a leader not just for her family, but for her entire community. And I'm still left wondering if back in her day she maybe had some... special feelings for Silva On that note, I would love to learn more of Silva's back story - I know you gave some more details on Reksa's route, but I would love a story arc for him alone, maybe as a flashback to his life back when his wife was alive and maybe some bits of Reksa's childhood after her death and how he and his father interacted. And oh gosh, those triplets... they were just the cutest things EVER! Their interactions with Mitra and then Reksa were heart-melting, and Puspa's crush on Mitra reminded me SO much of my childhood that I couldn't stop giggling like an idiot.

Art:
Oh gosh, where do I begin? The artwork was simply gorgeous, and painfully beautiful to look at. Now I said Rama wasn't my kind of guy, but

the CG where he's crying and Tamara is holding him was so, SO beautiful. It just conveyed such closeness and care and gentleness and sorrow that I could stare at it for hours without getting bored. Definitely my most favorite moment of his route

The other characters were so beautifully drawn as well and I loved the attention to detail that went into each character and background image.

Music/Sound:
Perfect! That's the only word needed to describe the mixture of music and SFX in the game. Even now I have the game open on the main screen because I can't get enough of that song. The SFX was a very welcome addition, because it helped me get SO invested and involved in the scenes - especially the very intense ones like

Reksa's fight with Purba. By God, I was on the edge of my seat throughout that scene

I would LOVE a music room in the game, or some website where I could listen to the entire soundtrack. It's so beautiful in its apparent simplicity and each melodic track was such a good fit for the scenes it was used in.

So to conclude... well not sure what else I could say about the game itself, and I've already answered most of your questions in my review. So I'll just wish you all the very best for any future projects. I cannot wait to see more from you, you're insanely talented. I'll still say that I hope someday you'll find inspiration for a sequel to Nusantara, I would be all over it the moment you'd release it! Sadly my current financial situation doesn't allow me to support you in that way, as much as I wish I could But I would very happily help in any other way I can - whether you need a grammar nazi, or just another friend. I know how the process of creation can sometimes weigh someone down, and I've learned from my own experience that more often than not just one kind word can mean the world.

But I've rambled on quite enough, and I apologize for this overly long review; I just wanted to offer as much feedback as possible. May your muse always grace you with inspiration, darling! <3

Hi KrystalFlare!
Thanks for coming and reviewing! Your essay and praise blew me away -you give me too much credits, my artist ego is going to combust >////<

1. I don't know where to begin... but I can say that I also read many fanfics & fictions on fanfiction.com/fictionpress/wattpad so they might be helping me to learn how to write a good story :'3
I'm very happy to hear that the wait is worth it for you <3 It was definitely a challenge for me to learn Ren'Py quickly; but I feel it's worth it so more people can read my VN leisurely :'D

And yup, since not many people know about Indonesia, I'll take this as a chance to slowly introduce them to you :3
In the future, I will implement more Indonesian Culture; but it doesn't mean I will stop there. Myths has a worldwide list and I hope I can implement some of them x'D like, can I implement a pegasus somewhere? Lamias, Harpies, Dragons, Elfs are fascinating myths so I hope I can implement them in my future projects too *sigh*

and lololol, I agree that sometimes it's hard to find otome games that has a good quality of politics/war-elements. Users can sometimes forgot about the real situation when they got too immersed 'bonding' with the bachelors x'D
I, myself, still have so many things to learn and there are rooms for improvements; I'll do my best to meet your expectations my lovely reader! >:'3

and hahahahah, I aware of the fact that my grammar is... x'DD
I think it's because I read it so many times already that my senses became dull OTL
Do you have a facebook account? if yes, PM me your email/FB name so I can add you and then, we can discuss about your offer to proofread ^o^ I plan to use docs google drive so... around 3 people will have access to the script so they can 'fix' and complete each other's proofreading? Tell me what you think about it

As for the characters...
I am BLOWN away by how much you love all the characters! They're like my children; and seeing how much passion you put into analyzing and understanding each character is like a heavenly treat for me :"D
Thank you for giving all of them a chance! I have no words to describe how grateful and satisfied I am with your review about each character!
*Hugs*

About my Art...
Thank you very much!
I'm aware that some background/sprite can sometimes be a little too dark to see some details (like Asih's hair) or a little too bright that it can hurt your eye? (like the afternoon version probably? x'DD) It seems my old laptop's saturation is a little messed up (my VAIO laptop decrease saturation and increase brightness). In my new laptop, I'm surprised how much the color changes!

I will look into quality control and make more better art next time! Just wait and see! >:D

Thanks again and see you around!
xoxo,
SweetChiel

[SweetChiel]

YAS! FINALLY! RENPY VERSION WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I feel your enthusiasm from over here kyakyakyu! x'D I hope you enjoyed it!

This is Legit my faaaaave otome game this year i think!! bold statement but aw i enjoyed the story so much and how individual the characters stories were!! and the mc was so kick ass i loved her/want to be her..

my fave was riksa through and through, have plenty of love for the other two specially mitra but yeah, riksa forever!!!

well done pretty please make more!!! and thanks so much lol!!

Oh, stop it cherry you're making me blush >////<
I still have so many things to learn; but thank you for the warm love and support! <3

Don't worry, I'm not planning to stop making VNs anytime soon

Thanks again, both of you!
I'll see you guys around!

xoxo,
SweetChiel

[myuunie]

I juuuust got around to playing Nusantara because I was waiting for the Mac version to be released, and I'm so so so happy it did! ;u; Thank you so much for releasing it! I'll answer the questions now before I start getting rambly on here as to why I loved it so much!

1. Which bachelor you like the most? and why?


THIS IS HARD. I usually have no trouble choosing favorite, but Mitra and Reksa are both pretty much in par with each other.

Mitra's personality of the charming, considerate hero always gets to me because it reminds me of my own partner who has similar characteristics. I love how kind he was, how brave, how sweet, and almost awkward his personality was. But he was so strong and so NGH, you know? He is what I like to call, the Fireman. It's what I believe for the dream fireman to be, brave, gentle, sweet, and has the body of a god. I couldn't resist playing him first and his route did not disappoint.

It was just what I assumed it would be like, his hero-esque personality made the route incredibly endearing.

HOWEVER, after I played Reska... I mean, I love him too. He's so passionate about you once he gets to know you. I am always a sucker for guys like him who are dark and mysterious but then fall madly in love with you. I don't wanna say too much without spoiling, but I appreciated that through everything once he trusted her, he fully trusted her and that even little doubts didn't break his commitment to her friendship.

I really can't decide which route I like the most because I thoroughly enjoyed them both.

AH! Don't get me wrong, Rama's route was FANTASTIC. I loved getting to know him, and even though his was by far the most emotionally heartbreaking route, it was incredibly romantic and deep. The way he changed overtime was amazing. One thing I have to mention that will be under spoilers.

I love the contrast between all three character stories. In Mitra's route you see what would happen if you didn't save Rama and if you didn't meet Reksa more than once, and it remains a great story on it's own. In Rama's you see how amazing things can get IF he comes back to the village, and to see him be happy again is a fantastic thing. It doesn't feel repetitive, it feels like it's own story. Same goes for Reksa, I think that his is the one that really stands out the most because it is so distinct from the other two and I really appreciated it. All three characters were really enjoyable to play through.

2. What makes you consider to play this game?

The story and the art! I am pretty much almost 90% guided by the art of a visual novel. If it doesn't appeal to me, then I probably won't play it. However, the art was fantastic. The guys were suuuuper handsome (to the point that I was a bit disappointed that Yuda was married...) and that called out to me by far more than anything. But once I began playing the story, I didn't realize how long and well-written it was. Everything felt so cultured and beautifully thought out. The story was interesting enough to continue and it contained so many new things to learn as well.

I love how it mixed with Indonesian culture!! From the clothes, to the rituals... it was so so so amazing. I actually didn't really know anything about Indonesia before I played it, but now that I have I am so so so happy to have learned! I wish there were even more things in the Encyclopedia I could read about -sobs- but I will look into more about the culture later.

3. Overall, what do you think about this visual novel? and what element stands out the most? (art? story? character?)

Eep, I seem to have answered this question a bit already with my answer above. Like I mentioned, I think the story and the art are a huge part of the beauty of Nusantara. I love how it took different aspects of mythology and Indonesian culture and blended it all together to create something amazing. You can definitely tell just how much love was placed in it because of all the little things mentioned within the story. To have the main character learn a whole new language, integrate herself in a different culture... I think the greatest part is that we get to learn with her.

I loved that an Encyclopedia was also placed inside the extras because it helped so much to understand everything. Thank you so much for describing terms! Everything was so clear and interesting to understand. I think that a game is so much more appealing when they include a background to all the ideas and things they write about because it makes you feel more integrated with the story. Especially the rituals oh man, I so wanna see the Omed-omedan! It sounds so fun and amazing. Everything was amazing!

The characters were also incredibly deep and had their own personalities. I really liked how you included people in Tamara's life like Asih, Yuda, and Granny Sukma. They became her family, something to come home to everyday and be happy with. Even though I found Yuda incredibly sexy (and wish he was single...), it was so sweet to see him with Asih. I couldn't even be jealous of Asih because Asih herself was such a sweet and lovely character. I wish I had an older sister just like her.

They all became characters that I felt so close with, not just with the bachelors, but also with them. When side characters are well-written that means that the story didn't falter at all. And of course, the guys are amazing as well!

4. Do you have any question or constructive critiques? I will read all the comments and reply to them like I do in Lemmasoft.

I honestly don't really have any questions aside from, "when will you release a new game?!" Hehehe I know how long this one took, but I honestly cannot wait for the next one.

I think that the only criticism that I have is that the "Options" button doesn't work for me. It goes to the coding area that says on top, "An exception has occurred". It doesn't close the game or anything, and I can exit out of it by clicking "Ignore", but I did miss being able to change the options around to my liking. I'm not sure why it did that, but that doesn't deter me from saying how great of a game it is!

5. Last but not least, if I make another visual novel, will you consider buying it? via patreon or kickstarter that is (since I need to eat, electricity, and such things when I make VNs xD)

Absolutely! In fact, I'm a bit surprised you didn't charge for this one considering how beautiful the story was. I can't wait until you release another one! I am an absolute fan!

Thank you so much for making the game!! I can't wait for more amazing stories from you!

[SweetChiel]

I juuuust got around to playing Nusantara because I was waiting for the Mac version to be released, and I'm so so so happy it did! ;u; Thank you so much for releasing it! I'll answer the questions now before I start getting rambly on here as to why I loved it so much!

1. Which bachelor you like the most? and why?


THIS IS HARD. I usually have no trouble choosing favorite, but Mitra and Reksa are both pretty much in par with each other.

Mitra's personality of the charming, considerate hero always gets to me because it reminds me of my own partner who has similar characteristics. I love how kind he was, how brave, how sweet, and almost awkward his personality was. But he was so strong and so NGH, you know? He is what I like to call, the Fireman. It's what I believe for the dream fireman to be, brave, gentle, sweet, and has the body of a god. I couldn't resist playing him first and his route did not disappoint.

It was just what I assumed it would be like, his hero-esque personality made the route incredibly endearing.

HOWEVER, after I played Reska... I mean, I love him too. He's so passionate about you once he gets to know you. I am always a sucker for guys like him who are dark and mysterious but then fall madly in love with you. I don't wanna say too much without spoiling, but I appreciated that through everything once he trusted her, he fully trusted her and that even little doubts didn't break his commitment to her friendship.

I really can't decide which route I like the most because I thoroughly enjoyed them both.

AH! Don't get me wrong, Rama's route was FANTASTIC. I loved getting to know him, and even though his was by far the most emotionally heartbreaking route, it was incredibly romantic and deep. The way he changed overtime was amazing. One thing I have to mention that will be under spoilers.

I love the contrast between all three character stories. In Mitra's route you see what would happen if you didn't save Rama and if you didn't meet Reksa more than once, and it remains a great story on it's own. In Rama's you see how amazing things can get IF he comes back to the village, and to see him be happy again is a fantastic thing. It doesn't feel repetitive, it feels like it's own story. Same goes for Reksa, I think that his is the one that really stands out the most because it is so distinct from the other two and I really appreciated it. All three characters were really enjoyable to play through.

2. What makes you consider to play this game?

The story and the art! I am pretty much almost 90% guided by the art of a visual novel. If it doesn't appeal to me, then I probably won't play it. However, the art was fantastic. The guys were suuuuper handsome (to the point that I was a bit disappointed that Yuda was married...) and that called out to me by far more than anything. But once I began playing the story, I didn't realize how long and well-written it was. Everything felt so cultured and beautifully thought out. The story was interesting enough to continue and it contained so many new things to learn as well.

I love how it mixed with Indonesian culture!! From the clothes, to the rituals... it was so so so amazing. I actually didn't really know anything about Indonesia before I played it, but now that I have I am so so so happy to have learned! I wish there were even more things in the Encyclopedia I could read about -sobs- but I will look into more about the culture later.

3. Overall, what do you think about this visual novel? and what element stands out the most? (art? story? character?)

Eep, I seem to have answered this question a bit already with my answer above. Like I mentioned, I think the story and the art are a huge part of the beauty of Nusantara. I love how it took different aspects of mythology and Indonesian culture and blended it all together to create something amazing. You can definitely tell just how much love was placed in it because of all the little things mentioned within the story. To have the main character learn a whole new language, integrate herself in a different culture... I think the greatest part is that we get to learn with her.

I loved that an Encyclopedia was also placed inside the extras because it helped so much to understand everything. Thank you so much for describing terms! Everything was so clear and interesting to understand. I think that a game is so much more appealing when they include a background to all the ideas and things they write about because it makes you feel more integrated with the story. Especially the rituals oh man, I so wanna see the Omed-omedan! It sounds so fun and amazing. Everything was amazing!

The characters were also incredibly deep and had their own personalities. I really liked how you included people in Tamara's life like Asih, Yuda, and Granny Sukma. They became her family, something to come home to everyday and be happy with. Even though I found Yuda incredibly sexy (and wish he was single...), it was so sweet to see him with Asih. I couldn't even be jealous of Asih because Asih herself was such a sweet and lovely character. I wish I had an older sister just like her.

They all became characters that I felt so close with, not just with the bachelors, but also with them. When side characters are well-written that means that the story didn't falter at all. And of course, the guys are amazing as well!

4. Do you have any question or constructive critiques? I will read all the comments and reply to them like I do in Lemmasoft.

I honestly don't really have any questions aside from, "when will you release a new game?!" Hehehe I know how long this one took, but I honestly cannot wait for the next one.

I think that the only criticism that I have is that the "Options" button doesn't work for me. It goes to the coding area that says on top, "An exception has occurred". It doesn't close the game or anything, and I can exit out of it by clicking "Ignore", but I did miss being able to change the options around to my liking. I'm not sure why it did that, but that doesn't deter me from saying how great of a game it is!

5. Last but not least, if I make another visual novel, will you consider buying it? via patreon or kickstarter that is (since I need to eat, electricity, and such things when I make VNs xD)

Absolutely! In fact, I'm a bit surprised you didn't charge for this one considering how beautiful the story was. I can't wait until you release another one! I am an absolute fan!

Thank you so much for making the game!! I can't wait for more amazing stories from you!

Hi myuunie!
I'm also happy for you to be finally able to play it! QuQ and thanks for coming by to answer the questions <3

1. aww, no words can convey how overjoyed I am to see my babies being highly valued! ;u; and yes, I'm very critical about making each routes unique and not repetitive. I believe each character has a story to tell; it may entwine with the other bachelor but having a repetitive event is a no-no for me >.< maybe for a minor event, yes, but never for a major event.
and lol, I laughed when you said Mitra is like a Fireman x'D but it certainly makes sense -big, warm, a sense of security andabodyofgod are definitely some of Mitra's qualities that I wanted to convey to readers <3

as for Reksa... I have to admit that his route turned out better than I expected x') -even Rama! I'm so glad to hear you gave all 3 of them a chance, unveiled their stories, and love them in return! and yes, I tried to balance the 3 routes with a light-medium-dark composition.

2&3. Aww now you're spoiling my artist and writer's ego :')) I still have more rooms for improvement and I plan to lvl up my quality-control! There are also some loopholes here and there in my story

(like, I need to be more patient. Tamara's past needs more hints in each routes so readers won't be shocked like I'm throwing a bomb at them in Rama's route x'D It feels too abrupt, right?)

And yup, I also think minor-characters are as important as major-characters! Without them, the major-characters development would be halted and less... appealing? distinctive? I can't seem to find the right words about this, but I think minor-characters can play important roles in a story! Take Naruto/Once piece who has so many minor-characters in it OwO
Oh and you can expect more mini-encyclopedia in the future since I plan to keep that feature in my future VNs x') There are just so many cultures and my eyes are spinning from choosing which to go with x'D

4. Lol, your enthusiasm is appreciated! x'D
My next project already started and is called 'Nusantara: Bermuda Triangle' the link is shown in my signature <3 stay tuned for the weekly/every 2 weeks updates :'D
It will take awhile since the story will be much MUCH longer than Winged Ones >.<; but if my kickstarter reached its goal next year, I will definitely commit more working hours on it! >:3

5. last but not least -thank you for your support! Without all of you, I can't possibly progress as much as this x'D

xoxo,
SweetChiel

[15385bic]

only discovered that this was finished a few days ago but yay
so far only managed to get mitra's and Reska's good ends and ranmas bad >_> but definitely have enough to form a solid opinion

1. Which bachelor you like the most? and why?
I think my order is Mitra > Reska's > Ranma
Why? mainly because of personality. Mitra's the nicest and down to earth/ Also supportive.
Reskas the best looking in my opinion but he's totally tsun and demanding. (LOL although normally in otomes I'm attracted to the tsuns ^^')
Ranma - surprised at how much I actually liked his story but personality wise he's on my last list because i guess he isnt as mature as the other two. And he may be a tad yandere

2. What makes you consider to play this game?
Honestly? - the art. It has attractive art. And I like the look of the fantasy people

3. Overall, what do you think about this visual novel? and what element stands out the most? (art? story? character?)
I quite like a lot of aspects of this otome. I do like the art, the story was interesting (and ranma's route really did surprise me - i was wondering the entire time what happened to him but did NOT expect what happened in his past)
Characters had a variety of personality and looks to choose from so they were a plus too~

4. Do you have any question or constructive critiques?
At this point not much. Some grammar mistakes but didn't affect the reading that much to me

5. Last but not least, if I make another visual novel, will you consider buying it? via patreon or kickstarter that is (since I need to eat, electricity, and such things when I make VNs xD)
Yup I would. =]
Would especially like something physical - but depends on the tiers you put out

anyways I really wish you best of luck on your next vn too since i really enjoyed this. (now back to ranma's good route after i get over this heartache.)
but here's some fanart for you as well =]

[SweetChiel]

only discovered that this was finished a few days ago but yay
so far only managed to get mitra's and Reska's good ends and ranmas bad >_> but definitely have enough to form a solid opinion

1. Which bachelor you like the most? and why?
I think my order is Mitra > Reska's > Ranma
Why? mainly because of personality. Mitra's the nicest and down to earth/ Also supportive.
Reskas the best looking in my opinion but he's totally tsun and demanding. (LOL although normally in otomes I'm attracted to the tsuns ^^')
Ranma - surprised at how much I actually liked his story but personality wise he's on my last list because i guess he isnt as mature as the other two. And he may be a tad yandere

2. What makes you consider to play this game?
Honestly? - the art. It has attractive art. And I like the look of the fantasy people

3. Overall, what do you think about this visual novel? and what element stands out the most? (art? story? character?)
I quite like a lot of aspects of this otome. I do like the art, the story was interesting (and ranma's route really did surprise me - i was wondering the entire time what happened to him but did NOT expect what happened in his past)
Characters had a variety of personality and looks to choose from so they were a plus too~

4. Do you have any question or constructive critiques?
At this point not much. Some grammar mistakes but didn't affect the reading that much to me

5. Last but not least, if I make another visual novel, will you consider buying it? via patreon or kickstarter that is (since I need to eat, electricity, and such things when I make VNs xD)
Yup I would. =]
Would especially like something physical - but depends on the tiers you put out

anyways I really wish you best of luck on your next vn too since i really enjoyed this. (now back to ranma's good route after i get over this heartache.)
but here's some fanart for you as well =]

Hi 15385bic! Gosh, When I saw your fanart I was like; HOLY CHEESECAKES Mitra got 200% more handsome by you!! x'DD
Seriously <3 I am overjoyed! I mean; look -LOOK at that manmeathotness! Thank you very much I'll treasure it forever! QuQ May I post this on Nusantara's fanpage? I want to share the love with other Mitra fans! x'D

I know you too -I played your otome! Halloween Otome, right? It was one of the earliest otome games I play and I think I need to re-play it x'D

1. I agree, Mitra is like the ideal man we're dreaming to have as a husband :'D *I really have a short dream about him now that I think about it gosh*
and lol, I didn't plan to make Reksa a tsundere I swear! x'D I was planning to make him a kuudere -only angry in the first time meeting -but somehow, Reksa steered the story himself :')) I'm happy to hear you like him despite tsundere is not your preferences tho! x'D
About Rama, you're not alone :'D I sometimes got a little frustrated when I wrote his story but thank you for liking his background story <3

2. YAYY! Thank you! x'D I like your art-style too!

3. The story is pleasantly shocking I suppose? x'D I try to make my stories not too easy to read -but yep, I definitely still have some rooms for improvements! I'll do my best to lvl up >:3

4. Yep, I'm working on it! xD I got some awesome proofreader for Bermuda tho and I hope they will stay with me until the end!

5. Amen! Thank you for your support~
I don't know about physical rewards tho >.<; I've never sent anything via post -much less internationally x_x;

Again, Thank you for visiting and giving me this wonderful gift! :'D
I can't ask for anything better <3 I'll do my best to repay you with better VNs in the future!
xoxo,
SweetChiel

[Ran08]

Oh my gosh, there's already a Mac version?!

I haven't been active in the community recently but maaan, I am so glad I decided to check out the forums tonight! ))

Downloading asap~~

[15385bic]

Hi 15385bic! Gosh, When I saw your fanart I was like; HOLY CHEESECAKES Mitra got 200% more handsome by you!! x'DD
Seriously <3 I am overjoyed! I mean; look -LOOK at that manmeathotness! Thank you very much I'll treasure it forever! QuQ May I post this on Nusantara's fanpage? I want to share the love with other Mitra fans! x'D

Pfft no he just got flattened and decolored but I'm so glad you like it
And sure u can put it on the fan page
Thank you for making the game 8'D

[SweetChiel]

I almost forgot O.O;
In the past, I once tried 2DLive... but the result is not satisfying; the edges is not smooth and it should be a looping gif but somehow, it became blank after 1 loop and took a bit before it started again :'))

Still have so much to learn ~ *sigh*

The image below is AFTER I fixed the looping problem via photoshop

[Alia]

Purba's father was the Komodo's Chief Villager when he was young, but then Reksa's father took the title by challenging Purba's father and won; therefore, Purba lost his right to be the next chief. Reksa became the next chief in line by default (birthright, since he is Silva's offspring). That's why the corrupted Komodo warriors call Reksa a 'Sham'.

I hope this clears some things? o.o

I'm glad you explained that;

I thought "sham" was just a misspelling of "shame."
And Silva being given the chieftainship by P's father because he beat him makes more cultural sense than the picture I had in my head of a peaceful transfer. And if "sick" means "unfit to rule the tribe and likely to lose to a challenger," now I understand why Reksa thought it was an insult when Tamara said his father must be sick.

[Alia]

and lol, Tamara's dream is about Rama. In Rama's mind, he was being mocked by the betrayers and that's also when he attempted the suicides. The CRUNCH sound is when he broke his wings in his 4th attempt of suicide. He wanted to die but can't.

Ah! Until I read this, I'd thought the dream was a premonition of Rama's successful suicide attempt: running into the dead forest (reds and golds) and being tortured by the Komodo warriors while asking them to kill him. I'm pleased I got the idea right even if I got the past/future wrong

[SweetChiel]

and lol, Tamara's dream is about Rama. In Rama's mind, he was being mocked by the betrayers and that's also when he attempted the suicides. The CRUNCH sound is when he broke his wings in his 4th attempt of suicide. He wanted to die but can't.

Ah! Until I read this, I'd thought the dream was a premonition of Rama's successful suicide attempt: running into the dead forest (reds and golds) and being tortured by the Komodo warriors while asking them to kill him. I'm pleased I got the idea right even if I got the past/future wrong

Hi Alia! Glad to hear my explanation clear some things and thanks for asking, it's definitely pointing out the things I need to improve on my writings x'D

Hope to see you again in my 2nd project!

Xoxo,
SweetChiel

[Alia]

1. Which bachelor do you like the most, and why?

I like Mitra, and Rama's story is interesting, but I have to go with Reksa.

He's most weird but least creepy. It was a tie between him and Mitra, until on a third playthrough I discovered the scene where Mitra is locking Rama into a board for his own safety (meaning at least a few hours or days.)
That was a really nice touch btw, it brought home that this culture isn't just foreign, it's pretty alien.

2. What made you decide to play this game?

The number of comments on the Lemmasoft thread, and the fact that it was free. (Though I donated through itch.io after discovering how enjoyable it was. I'm glad you set it up that way!)


3. Overall, what do you think about this visual novel?

I love it. And since you mentioned liking detailed comments...

I like how the routes were interwoven, with plot mini-scenes that you didn't really understand until you'd played the route of the relevant bachelor:

personal significance of Sari's "he's with us now;" the dream; Purba sending the Komodo warriors to hunt for the "him..."

I appreciated how Rama's Good End didn't have him, y'know, magically emotionally recovered. The Power of Love doesn't suddenly fix "damaged," and even in a modern world where medicine can sometimes help, healing takes a lot of work.

Also, Tamara's background unfolding during the story.

In the bus-ride scene, I assumed her uncle had her good interests at heart and she was just being sulky; it was interesting to have that turned on its head. I appreciated how Rama threateningly pinning her gave her a brief flashback to the attempted rape: even if you don't yet know how, you know she's been attacked, and you can see that while it affects her, she's dealing.

I like bad ends. I appreciate heartbreak as long as I have the opportunity to reverse it (puny VN mortals, I hold the power to save or destroy you!) If there were no way to fail at saving the world or romancing the guy or whatever, then the only real choice a player can make is which bachelor to love. That robs a story of potential power.

Personally, I'd have liked a more complicated determinant than "give/don't give him the crystal," but that might be hard to implement?

Reksa's bad end was gorgeous,

partly because of the tender CG, and partly because of the rich cultural overtones in the ending scene. There's a fine line between "evocative" and "cliched," but you pulled it off beautifully.

Rama's bad ending was well done,

but I had trouble appreciating it as much as it deserved b/c it reminded me of an ending from "Second Reproduction," which is a game I really disliked.

It is delightful to see realistic CPR performed in a game. Check breath, check heart, 30 compressions then two breaths

and the fact that it fails, as it usually does in real life.

Tamara having worked as a babysitter, it makes complete sense that she'd know CPR. Forget being able to shoot a gun or being fearless in the face of danger: reacting in a medical emergency,

and going to the police all by her-child-self to report being attacked...

... those are the kinds of things that make a modern heroine badass, in my opinion.


4 Do you have any questions or constructive critiques?

Question: Since the point was made by the Goddess about how Tamara is "the only one who can help," I'm pretty curious about why. If it was implied somewhere, I completely missed it. Can you tell me?

Suggestion: Might want to find a way to treat dependent scenes a bit differently. As in, a couple of times a later scene on a guy's route assumed you'd seen a specific previous scene.

On my first playthrough the Aunties commented on how Tamara stood up to the village girls bothering Mitra: I was very confused since I'd hadn't seen the girls! Or on Reksa's route, even if you didn't visit him on the last choice-time and get the excellent scene, Tamara still tells Granny about him leaving.

On the very minor front:
For me, 24 save slots was fewer than I'd prefer for this length VN. I like to save at most choices as I go along so I can go back and pick a different one if the first doesn't turn out (without having to start over from way earlier in the story). And when I adore a scene, I like to make a save right before so that I can repeat it! *cough*Mitra*cough*
A timeline could be helpful, maybe one that filled in after certain story-points the way some "extras" stuff does? Sometimes I found the dates and ages confusing or difficult to visualize.

As in, okay they've been at war 15 years and in a truce for 8, so if Puspa-Dani-Ares are war orphans who look "about 7" they must really be at least 8 years old... As a child Reksa spent at least a few years in the mountains before coming back by which point the war had started, and Purba scarred Reksa's face when Reksa was 6... Reksa says he was given the tattoo at 19 and Tamara later thinks he may be younger than she is, so that would make her at least 20 and she's been on her own for two, but I forget how long she said she lived in the Uncle's house or when her parents died though it must have been after age 10 since that's her age in the opening scene... Oh dear, do Komodos, Avians, and humans even at age at the same rate?

Figuring out when things happened in relation to the characters' ages would have been much easier if I'd just remembered that you'd listed the young-adults' ages in the bios in the first post of the thread. *bangs head on wall*



5. If I make another visual novel, will you consider buying it? via patreon or kickstarter that is

Yep! Since you've done something I like so very, very much, I've enough trust for the next one. (Personally, I'm very glad you're not planning to try releasing on Steam. I prefer being able to own a copy of a game rather than just owning a right to play it on Steam's terms.)

[Alia]

After playing Nusantara, I wondered what Indonesian poetry looked like. I saw a Malay poem where "blossoms one flower in the dragon's mouth" means "a girl who is protected by a powerful man" and that it "may refer to [his] wife." Clearly I was supposed to attempt a pantun as fanart!


A fated broom swept from east to south
The earth is now free of shards of sky
An herb blossoms in the dragon's mouth
Rejoicing, the people hunt and fly.

Rephrased:
an instrument of the Goddess Fate has cleaned from the east part of the island to the south
there are no more of the heaven-sent blue crystals/shards
a healer-girl is protected by (and perhaps married to) a powerful Komodo man
Komodos and Avians are joyful


I suppose if someone's favorite route isn't Reksa's, you could say the herb-and-dragon line is about Sukma and Silva instead...

[SweetChiel]

1. Which bachelor do you like the most, and why?

I like Mitra, and Rama's story is interesting, but I have to go with Reksa.

He's most weird but least creepy. It was a tie between him and Mitra, until on a third playthrough I discovered the scene where Mitra is locking Rama into a board for his own safety (meaning at least a few hours or days.)
That was a really nice touch btw, it brought home that this culture isn't just foreign, it's pretty alien.

2. What made you decide to play this game?

The number of comments on the Lemmasoft thread, and the fact that it was free. (Though I donated through itch.io after discovering how enjoyable it was. I'm glad you set it up that way!)


3. Overall, what do you think about this visual novel?

I love it. And since you mentioned liking detailed comments...

I like how the routes were interwoven, with plot mini-scenes that you didn't really understand until you'd played the route of the relevant bachelor:

personal significance of Sari's "he's with us now;" the dream; Purba sending the Komodo warriors to hunt for the "him..."

I appreciated how Rama's Good End didn't have him, y'know, magically emotionally recovered. The Power of Love doesn't suddenly fix "damaged," and even in a modern world where medicine can sometimes help, healing takes a lot of work.

Also, Tamara's background unfolding during the story.

In the bus-ride scene, I assumed her uncle had her good interests at heart and she was just being sulky; it was interesting to have that turned on its head. I appreciated how Rama threateningly pinning her gave her a brief flashback to the attempted rape: even if you don't yet know how, you know she's been attacked, and you can see that while it affects her, she's dealing.

I like bad ends. I appreciate heartbreak as long as I have the opportunity to reverse it (puny VN mortals, I hold the power to save or destroy you!) If there were no way to fail at saving the world or romancing the guy or whatever, then the only real choice a player can make is which bachelor to love. That robs a story of potential power.

Personally, I'd have liked a more complicated determinant than "give/don't give him the crystal," but that might be hard to implement?

Reksa's bad end was gorgeous,

partly because of the tender CG, and partly because of the rich cultural overtones in the ending scene. There's a fine line between "evocative" and "cliched," but you pulled it off beautifully.

Rama's bad ending was well done,

but I had trouble appreciating it as much as it deserved b/c it reminded me of an ending from "Second Reproduction," which is a game I really disliked.

It is delightful to see realistic CPR performed in a game. Check breath, check heart, 30 compressions then two breaths

and the fact that it fails, as it usually does in real life.

Tamara having worked as a babysitter, it makes complete sense that she'd know CPR. Forget being able to shoot a gun or being fearless in the face of danger: reacting in a medical emergency,

and going to the police all by her-child-self to report being attacked...

... those are the kinds of things that make a modern heroine badass, in my opinion.


4 Do you have any questions or constructive critiques?

Question: Since the point was made by the Goddess about how Tamara is "the only one who can help," I'm pretty curious about why. If it was implied somewhere, I completely missed it. Can you tell me?

Suggestion: Might want to find a way to treat dependent scenes a bit differently. As in, a couple of times a later scene on a guy's route assumed you'd seen a specific previous scene.

On my first playthrough the Aunties commented on how Tamara stood up to the village girls bothering Mitra: I was very confused since I'd hadn't seen the girls! Or on Reksa's route, even if you didn't visit him on the last choice-time and get the excellent scene, Tamara still tells Granny about him leaving.

On the very minor front:
For me, 24 save slots was fewer than I'd prefer for this length VN. I like to save at most choices as I go along so I can go back and pick a different one if the first doesn't turn out (without having to start over from way earlier in the story). And when I adore a scene, I like to make a save right before so that I can repeat it! *cough*Mitra*cough*
A timeline could be helpful, maybe one that filled in after certain story-points the way some "extras" stuff does? Sometimes I found the dates and ages confusing or difficult to visualize.

As in, okay they've been at war 15 years and in a truce for 8, so if Puspa-Dani-Ares are war orphans who look "about 7" they must really be at least 8 years old... As a child Reksa spent at least a few years in the mountains before coming back by which point the war had started, and Purba scarred Reksa's face when Reksa was 6... Reksa says he was given the tattoo at 19 and Tamara later thinks he may be younger than she is, so that would make her at least 20 and she's been on her own for two, but I forget how long she said she lived in the Uncle's house or when her parents died though it must have been after age 10 since that's her age in the opening scene... Oh dear, do Komodos, Avians, and humans even at age at the same rate?

Figuring out when things happened in relation to the characters' ages would have been much easier if I'd just remembered that you'd listed the young-adults' ages in the bios in the first post of the thread. *bangs head on wall*



5. If I make another visual novel, will you consider buying it? via patreon or kickstarter that is

Yep! Since you've done something I like so very, very much, I've enough trust for the next one. (Personally, I'm very glad you're not planning to try releasing on Steam. I prefer being able to own a copy of a game rather than just owning a right to play it on Steam's terms.)

Wooohooo! Thanks for this kind review, Alia! :'D

1. As always, I'm very happy to see you've gave all 3 bachelors a chance! Once again, Reksa is still the majority's favourite x') I think Rama is a bit too creepy for your taste? :'3
And yes, I try my hardest to make the 'world' unique so to keep your interest up from start to finish x')

2. Yay! I'm also surprised at how many people welcomed my VN so warmly here in lemmasoft :'D Thanks guys!

3. Mm, I believe that every person has their own stories. This is the most time consuming for me to think how to wove and distribute the small scenes; though, I pity my proofeaders since this means I edited the script many -MANY times until it becomes the final product x'D I still have rooms for improvements for this.
I hope you'll forgive me if there are some grammar problem in the future.

I'm also very glad to hear you like the bad ends :'D you give me too much credit here that I'm afraid my head will be bloated by the end of this hahah.

As for the

similarity between it with Second Reproduction

, it might be because I also read it in the past and it affected the way I write? o.o I remember that it has a pretty good descriptive sentences and some random scenes, but I forgot the endings so I might have to re-play it to see what you mean x'D

and yes, if I make a story, I tend to try to make it as realistic as possible; though the characters will sometimes decide their fate by themselves... honestly, I didn't plan the

CPR

scene, but when I write it, it suddenly became natural to do that :'D

As for the last choice of giving or not giving the crystal: What do you mean by more complicated determinant? o.o I'm really interested in hearing your idea! In my case, the crystal is a symbol of complete trust between two people. I mean, if it breaks, the world is screwed x'D It's a heavy responsibility and burden given to Tamara. That's why there's some restriction/requirements for the 'give to bachelor' option to get unlocked (In Mitra & Reksa, if affection points are not 250 or below, it won't appear on screen. For Rama, you have to focus on him and ONLY him. If you chose to help Reksa, then the option will not appear, even if his affection points are above 250.)

4. Thanks for pointing this out! x'D A lot of people critiqued about some scenes are not suitable if mixed with other routes; I will try and be more careful in the future about this!
As for your question about why Tamara is 'the only one who can help':

I'm basically talking about everything that defines 'Tamara'. I mean, Tamara might be the only one that understands and who is patient enough to brave Rama and his sh*t, though the readers can choose not to.
She's also determined enough to save Reksa once she decided about it, tend to his injuries, and hid him from the villagers despite all the warning signs shown.
As for why Mitra is attracted to her; you might've noticed that when all the girls are trying to woo her, she was busy learning to work from Monday to Saturday. Despite her complaints and sarcasm, she's doing it anyway :')) she's a sincere person, doesn't treat Mitra as someone special and put him on pedestal like everyone else.

Last of all, she also doesn't really have anything that 'binds' her to the original world. The only thing she's regretting is that she can't visit her parents grave anymore.

This is not something that can be explained easily; but the Goddess and Sari picks the person they're 'spiriting away' personally by looking at their qualities, traits, personality, moral, and all the while considering their future possibilities.

I hope this is a sufficient answer? o.o;

Hmm, this might also mean that I need to show the heroine's redeeming qualities more clearly in the future x'D Thanks for asking!

As for the save slots... lol don't worry. I'll provide more in the future x'D

5. Yay! me too! I'm very happy when I discovered itch.io x'D in the future I might consider to greenlight Steam for my commercial projects, but let's just take one step at a time for now :'3

Thank you for this Alia! Your review certainly motivates me to do my best to improve and create more interesting VNs in the future! I hope to see you again in the future :'3

xoxo,
SweetChiel