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Gego
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#2
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by Gego » Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:21 am
soo, its a Kinetic Novel?
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tigerrenko
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#3
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by tigerrenko » Thu Aug 28, 2008 4:24 am
Oh, yes. I forgot that term.
More of a kinetic short story, though
Cheers
TR
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Nebi
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#4
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by Nebi » Fri Aug 29, 2008 11:12 am
I'm curious. Was the short story originally written in English?
I found one or two typos but I think that was it. A 'He' spelt as 'THe' - don't remember which screen it was. :|
The story provided a window where I was able to glimpse at Shaka and Ursa and their environment. It left me with a feeling of uncertainty - for both of them. I'm wondering whether I fully understand what the parka cord is supposed to symbolize.
It was a nice, light read. The imagery was good and the insertion of the the list of items from the warmer season (Orange) was a very sudden contrast that hit me unexpectedly.
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tigerrenko
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#5
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by tigerrenko » Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:32 pm
No, story is originally in Serbian. I translated it with help of online grammar checker
The cord is materialization of Ursa's inner struggle. He is young and brash and tormented by deep meaning he is not ready or able to discern. Old Shaka advises him to give up, but he doesn't he tugs at his parka cord again, and gives us the hint that he will not give up pursuing his 'orange' dreams...
Phu... I sincerly hope that this meaning was lost in translation and not fault of my writing skills
TR
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Nebi
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#6
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by Nebi » Sun Aug 31, 2008 10:37 am
I suspected that Ursa's stubborness - probably because he is still young - was represented by the tugging on the parka cord. At first I thought the parka cord represented the naive dreams of youth; being persistently pulled on by a equally naive Ursa. (There is nothing wrong with your writing skills.)
I would have liked to hear the original story spoken to me in Serbian.
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tigerrenko
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#7
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by tigerrenko » Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:07 pm
Nebi,
Yes, he's brash and he won't give up on his dreams even if it means breaking a parka cord. It can also symbolize his relation to Shaka, his teacher. He is warned that one day he might loose the teacher to his stubborn dreaming (in the novel script it happens, there is a part when Shaka and Ursa part), or loose his life (Shaka warns him that it's dangerous to walk the Ice as a dreamer).
I worked 10 years as theatre actor, so it's not a problem for me to record the story and send ti to you in Mp3 (or any other) format.
Cheers
TR
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Kagami
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#8
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by Kagami » Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:54 pm
Nebi wrote:
I would have liked to hear the original story spoken to me in Serbian.
That didn't occur to me before Nebi said it, but now I think that it would've been very interesting to have the Serbian narration or dialogue in the VN, or perhaps an option to choose between music and voice. That said, I really liked the music and it complemented the story. Did you make the music yourself as well?
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tigerrenko
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#9
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by tigerrenko » Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:03 pm
Nope, music is from Tarkovsky's version of the "Stalker", Edvard Artemiev / Stalker - Main theme.
Nice idea, though to integrate narrated text into a game! I'll try to make it asap and post the enhanced version
Thanks guys!
TR
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