The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

Finished games are posted here, once they've been tested and are ready for wide release.
Forum rules
Adult content should not be posted in this forum.
Message
Author
User avatar
wyverngem
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 615
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 7:27 pm
Completed: Simple as Snow, Lady Luck's Due,
Projects: Aether Skies, Of the Waterfall
Tumblr: casting-dreams
itch: castingdreams
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#16 Post by wyverngem »

^_^ I commented on itch.io, but I'll say it again. I thought it was super sweet, the two people talking to each other in a power out. I think moving the text boxes to the middle is easier on the eyes for reading, and you could expand the story by making it to read like a short story with actions and inner thoughts. Also, I feel you could give us insight if you chose a main character and show us their inner thoughts. Otherwise, it's sweet and I hope you keep writing.

It's a very sweet scene. I wouldn't mind reading more of a story with these two.

User avatar
Zelan
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 2436
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 7:23 pm
Completed: The Dark
Projects: Cosplay Couple
Tumblr: evns
itch: Zelan
Discord: ltnkitsuragi#7082
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#17 Post by Zelan »

wyverngem wrote:^_^ I commented on itch.io, but I'll say it again. I thought it was super sweet, the two people talking to each other in a power out. I think moving the text boxes to the middle is easier on the eyes for reading, and you could expand the story by making it to read like a short story with actions and inner thoughts. Also, I feel you could give us insight if you chose a main character and show us their inner thoughts. Otherwise, it's sweet and I hope you keep writing.

It's a very sweet scene. I wouldn't mind reading more of a story with these two.
Hey, wyverngem! ^_^ Yup, I got your comment on itch and responded over there as well. I'm glad you liked the characters after only reading about them for such a short time, that means I must've done a pretty good job making them likable. Thank you for the feedback!

User avatar
Mammon
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 712
Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2015 3:09 pm
Completed: Pervert&Yandere, Stalker&Yandere
Projects: Roses Of The Thorn Prince
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#18 Post by Mammon »

Nice and sweet short story. Just a little conversation between two people about some things that we can understand and relate to can be just as amusing and fun as anything else. Although I never saw Chicken Little, that conversation and the others were relatable to I assume everyone in one way or another. Well done!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up in a foetus position in the corner of the room. This story reminded me of the kobold with the meter long nails who I once saw in a nightmare and continued to be scared of for several years of my childhood. Remembering the fear of getting stabbed through my matress at any moment... :(
ImageImageImage

Want some CC sprites?

User avatar
Zelan
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 2436
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 7:23 pm
Completed: The Dark
Projects: Cosplay Couple
Tumblr: evns
itch: Zelan
Discord: ltnkitsuragi#7082
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#19 Post by Zelan »

Mammon wrote:Nice and sweet short story. Just a little conversation between two people about some things that we can understand and relate to can be just as amusing and fun as anything else. Although I never saw Chicken Little, that conversation and the others were relatable to I assume everyone in one way or another. Well done!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up in a foetus position in the corner of the room. This story reminded me of the kobold with the meter long nails who I once saw in a nightmare and continued to be scared of for several years of my childhood. Remembering the fear of getting stabbed through my matress at any moment... :(
Hey there, Mammon! Thank you for playing my game! ^_^ I'm glad that you found the conversation relatable - I was trying to make it come off that they were just two pretty ordinary college kids, and it seems like that went pretty well.

Awww, I'm sorry about that. I never intended to write a horror story. <: Maybe he can join the band that my under-the-bed monsters had? That'll keep his attention away from you.

User avatar
Impulse
Regular
Posts: 139
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 5:44 pm
Projects: Tears of Glass [Romance VN, Supernatural, School, GxB]
Deviantart: mariscribbles
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#20 Post by Impulse »

Congratulations on your thing Zelan :) I have to say I agree with your dad - this was good!

It's short and not very "flashy", but I wouldn't say that's a bad thing. Here you actually managed to use the black screen to your advantage. I really liked the quirky dialogue and would love to see you build on Sam and Dylan in a future project (if you feel like it, of course). Also a very good choice of music. Alcaknight is amazing and I felt like this track really captured the right mood. Good job on your first project. I've actually been waiting for you to release one since you were always so kind to me before, and I was interested in seeing what you'd come up with (not disappointed) :)

Also, I think you did a great job with the credits - Everyone who worked on Chicken Little. Just thought that was pretty funny ^^

Finally I just wanted to say hi. It's been a long time and I hope you're doing well. :)
Current project (on hold):
Tears of Glass - [Romance otome, Supernatural, School, GxB] - http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=37523
Demo for Tears of Glass - viewtopic.php?f=45&t=38285

User avatar
Zelan
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 2436
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 7:23 pm
Completed: The Dark
Projects: Cosplay Couple
Tumblr: evns
itch: Zelan
Discord: ltnkitsuragi#7082
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#21 Post by Zelan »

Impulse wrote:Congratulations on your thing Zelan :) I have to say I agree with your dad - this was good!

It's short and not very "flashy", but I wouldn't say that's a bad thing. Here you actually managed to use the black screen to your advantage. I really liked the quirky dialogue and would love to see you build on Sam and Dylan in a future project (if you feel like it, of course). Also a very good choice of music. Alcaknight is amazing and I felt like this track really captured the right mood. Good job on your first project. I've actually been waiting for you to release one since you were always so kind to me before, and I was interested in seeing what you'd come up with (not disappointed) :)

Also, I think you did a great job with the credits - Everyone who worked on Chicken Little. Just thought that was pretty funny ^^

Finally I just wanted to say hi. It's been a long time and I hope you're doing well. :)
:D Hey, Impulse! Wow, thank you so much for all of the praise! It really means a lot to me. ^_^ I never expected anyone to be anticipating a release from me, so that in particular is amazing to hear.

I'm glad you thought all of the elements worked well together - the musk in particular took me some time to pick because I wanted the perfect piece of music. Good to know you liked it, too. c:

Ahaha, I'm glad someone finally mentioned the credits. cx I didn't think many people would look but it seems someone did, so the small effort was worth it.

And hi to you, too! ^_^ I hope you are also doing well, and thank you again for playing and commenting!

User avatar
LuckyCats
Regular
Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2017 7:17 am
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#22 Post by LuckyCats »

Hello I read the thing :3

The philosophy
_____________________

First Id like to say that when it comes to philosophical things when your game/writing
encourages people to contemplate things beyond playing the game its a win in my book.
Playing the game made me think on the nature of fear and what I think to be true of it. Own that philosophical tag girl/guy!

I particularly liked Sam describing fear. That he believed that it was more becoming accustomed/comfortable to it than simply stopping fearing something one day.
I can completely agree with that.

I think people become less afraid of something the more they are exposed to it with setbacks occurring when there is novel variation in it. As in Sam example of no longer fearing the dark of his own room but experiencing it in a new place that had not become accustomed to. With time the once scary things of his own room became commonplace.

When people avoid something they'll surely have terrible odds on overcoming that fear as it will always be novel. They'd not have a chance to accustom themselves to it. People can not maintain a heightened state of fear indefinitely eventually with exposure we can become habituated to whatever it is that we fear and overcome it that way. As with Sam and his own room with the dark. If I can survive this today I can do this again tomorrow and so on, it builds confidence. Of course its easier said than done with some fears even knowing that. Its hard to work on things that cause fear or anxiety for sure.

The Characters
____________________
Here I'm commenting about the nature of fear when everyone else says how charming it is XD
Let me say that as well, I can't leave that part out they make a sweet couple.
It felt like they had a supportive relationship the kind where they build each other up and are affectionate

The Music
____________________
I have to check out more of Alcaknights work its very soothing, i still have the game up in the background listening to the music even.

The Art
____________________
Having it be completely dark is perfect for this setting. I didnt feel that it was missing anything not having artwork.

The Credits
____________________
I find your credits and shout outs for your experienced testers humorous X3
I always check the credits as a respectful nod to the creators of the games (credits are meant to be seen after all) and to see if they have any hidden content like it unlocks a sketch gallery or has a hidden scene or something amusing so I was pleasantly surprised by your credits page

User avatar
Zelan
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 2436
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 7:23 pm
Completed: The Dark
Projects: Cosplay Couple
Tumblr: evns
itch: Zelan
Discord: ltnkitsuragi#7082
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#23 Post by Zelan »

Ohhhh my goodness thank you so much! <3
LuckyCats wrote:Hello I read the thing :3

The philosophy
_____________________

First Id like to say that when it comes to philosophical things when your game/writing
encourages people to contemplate things beyond playing the game its a win in my book.
Playing the game made me think on the nature of fear and what I think to be true of it. Own that philosophical tag girl/guy!

I particularly liked Sam describing fear. That he believed that it was more becoming accustomed/comfortable to it than simply stopping fearing something one day.
I can completely agree with that.

I think people become less afraid of something the more they are exposed to it with setbacks occurring when there is novel variation in it. As in Sam example of no longer fearing the dark of his own room but experiencing it in a new place that had not become accustomed to. With time the once scary things of his own room became commonplace.

When people avoid something they'll surely have terrible odds on overcoming that fear as it will always be novel. They'd not have a chance to accustom themselves to it. People can not maintain a heightened state of fear indefinitely eventually with exposure we can become habituated to whatever it is that we fear and overcome it that way. As with Sam and his own room with the dark. If I can survive this today I can do this again tomorrow and so on, it builds confidence. Of course its easier said than done with some fears even knowing that. Its hard to work on things that cause fear or anxiety for sure.
You're the first person to really make an in-depth comment on this so far! ^_^ I'm glad I could make you think deeply for a bit!

I hadn't even thought about the consequences of avoiding fear, you're absolutely right about that! (Subject of a sequel maybe????? Hadn't been planning on one but HMMM... that would be fun to write about.)
The Characters
____________________
Here I'm commenting about the nature of fear when everyone else says how charming it is XD
Let me say that as well, I can't leave that part out they make a sweet couple.
It felt like they had a supportive relationship the kind where they build each other up and are affectionate
I'm glad you liked their relationship! There were some parts that I was worried it might be a little too cheesy, but it seems like most people don't think so. (That, or they just really like cheesy, haha.) And yes, I definitely imagine them to be the type of people who would support each other in literally anything.
The Music
____________________
I have to check out more of Alcaknights work its very soothing, i still have the game up in the background listening to the music even.
I adore Alcaknight's music, I honestly try to bring it up on here whenever possible in the hopes that more people will check it out.
The Art
____________________
Having it be completely dark is perfect for this setting. I didnt feel that it was missing anything not having artwork.
I'm glad it worked for you!
The Credits
____________________
I find your credits and shout outs for your experienced testers humorous X3
I always check the credits as a respectful nod to the creators of the games (credits are meant to be seen after all) and to see if they have any hidden content like it unlocks a sketch gallery or has a hidden scene or something amusing so I was pleasantly surprised by your credits page
Ahaha, yes, I couldn't resist. cx I love silly little jokes like that, and hey, this game wouldn't have been the same without John Keats or Chicken Little, so why not give them credit for it?

I think the same about credits as well, I always read them. c: (Something I like about some older movies is that they have their credits at the beginning of the movie instead of at the end, so people are forced to watch them.)

Thank you again for playing and for all of the sweet feedback! It was a nice surprise to see that someone had posted here again. ^_^

User avatar
LuckyCats
Regular
Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2017 7:17 am
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#24 Post by LuckyCats »

Zelan wrote:You're the first person to really make an in-depth comment on this so far! ^_^ I'm glad I could make you think deeply for a bit!

I hadn't even thought about the consequences of avoiding fear, you're absolutely right about that! (Subject of a sequel maybe????? Hadn't been planning on one but HMMM... that would be fun to write about.)
I love reading stories with philosophical/psychological aspects. If you make a sequel i will surely read it :)
Zelan wrote:I adore Alcaknight's music, I honestly try to bring it up on here whenever possible in the hopes that more people will check it out.
You've successfully converted a new fan for them, your plan is working XD
Zelan wrote:I think the same about credits as well, I always read them. c: (Something I like about some older movies is that they have their credits at the beginning of the movie instead of at the end, so people are forced to watch them.)
That's a clever idea using the credits in the beginning to ensure they are seen.
I like how marvel reveals stuff post credits too, I think they have some of the best odds of ppl watching the entire credits when it comes to movies. No one wants to miss any important upcoming scenes for their next releases lol including myself.
Zelan wrote:Thank you again for playing and for all of the sweet feedback! It was a nice surprise to see that someone had posted here again. ^_^

Aww you're welcome happy to play and give feedback ^_^

User avatar
Bartulisica
Regular
Posts: 93
Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:11 am
Organization: ArizonaIdentities
Location: Croatia
Discord: ArizonaIdentities
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#25 Post by Bartulisica »

Great dialogue, and I really enjoyed how short it was, but it feels like everything was said.
Chicken little reference was great, even though I didn't like the film. I get the feeling you were trying to describe.
Personally, I think the music is a bit unneccesery, because everything else is so simple. I'd prefer just rain sounds and maybe occasional thunder in the distance.
I like the fact the there's no art at all, it adds more to the feeling.

Generally, pretty good!
- ArizonaIdentities

User avatar
CatPalismia
Regular
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 1:51 pm
Discord: temteno#2499
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#26 Post by CatPalismia »

Honestly, this was really good! I never thought that a game with short dialogue could be this soothing and fun to read.
Unfortunately my computer messed up again with audio and I couldn't listen the music. I still liked this neverthless and will most likely play again when I fix the audio!

This really stopped to appreciate small but endearing chatting between people. Dylan and Sam had such a witty talking - I really liked their relationship that the dialogue gave away!

These games really show that good visual novel, or any other story-based game, builds all to dialogue and writing. Story-based game can have flashy visuals and gimmicks but nobody will play it if the story or dialogue isn't enjoyable or good. All though game with only writing and dialogue can be enjoyable even though it doesn't have visuals.

Overall enjoyable dialogue to stop and read!
Image

User avatar
nangke
Newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:14 am
Tumblr: http://nangke-art.tumblr.com
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#27 Post by nangke »

Finished playing The Dark just now. I'm always amazed at microfiction and what it can convey. Two people in a caring relationship. They could get panicked over the blackout, but instead they comfort each other, tell some jokes, and look forward to the future. It was a quite nice and pleasant experience.

nattoari
Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat May 14, 2022 10:38 pm
Projects: Proyecto NattoVN
Organization: NattoVN
Discord: natto.ari#4611
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#28 Post by nattoari »

It's amazing, I read it last night while being 2 days without sleep, -and I don't really like reading that much- and I loved it! My native language is spanish so I have a hard time connecting with stories written in english but this was amazing. I actually want to develop the relationship those two have with someone someday

User avatar
Zelan
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 2436
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 7:23 pm
Completed: The Dark
Projects: Cosplay Couple
Tumblr: evns
itch: Zelan
Discord: ltnkitsuragi#7082
Contact:

Re: The Dark [Kinetic][Very Very Short][Philosophy?]

#29 Post by Zelan »

Sorry for the EXTREMELY late replies to three of you, I read these comments and then went "awesome! I'll reply to these people once I finish working on the translations" and then Did Not Do That. Promise you all that I was really pleased and flattered by these comments at the time, and still am!
Bartulisica wrote: Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:36 am Great dialogue, and I really enjoyed how short it was, but it feels like everything was said.
Chicken little reference was great, even though I didn't like the film. I get the feeling you were trying to describe.
Personally, I think the music is a bit unneccesery, because everything else is so simple. I'd prefer just rain sounds and maybe occasional thunder in the distance.
I like the fact the there's no art at all, it adds more to the feeling.

Generally, pretty good!
Thank you very much for your compliments! Out of all the music tracks I could have picked I think this was a good one, but you're right that rain sounds could have been more atmospheric. I'll keep sound design in mind for future projects. :D
CatPalismia wrote: Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:27 am Honestly, this was really good! I never thought that a game with short dialogue could be this soothing and fun to read.
Unfortunately my computer messed up again with audio and I couldn't listen the music. I still liked this neverthless and will most likely play again when I fix the audio!

This really stopped to appreciate small but endearing chatting between people. Dylan and Sam had such a witty talking - I really liked their relationship that the dialogue gave away!

These games really show that good visual novel, or any other story-based game, builds all to dialogue and writing. Story-based game can have flashy visuals and gimmicks but nobody will play it if the story or dialogue isn't enjoyable or good. All though game with only writing and dialogue can be enjoyable even though it doesn't have visuals.

Overall enjoyable dialogue to stop and read!
Thank you so so much for this!! It's a HUGE compliment to hear that the dialogue stood by itself and you enjoyed it, every time I come back to this I'm like "oh geez what on Earth was I thinking" but all the comments like yours remind me that I probably just read it too many times aha. Thanks again for playing and commenting!!
nangke wrote: Fri Apr 24, 2020 4:42 pm Finished playing The Dark just now. I'm always amazed at microfiction and what it can convey. Two people in a caring relationship. They could get panicked over the blackout, but instead they comfort each other, tell some jokes, and look forward to the future. It was a quite nice and pleasant experience.
Thanks so much for playing and commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D and I agree with you, some of my absolute favorite visual novels are ones that take less than 10 minutes to play. They're definitely an art form just the same as longer epics.
nattoari wrote: Tue May 17, 2022 5:59 pm It's amazing, I read it last night while being 2 days without sleep, -and I don't really like reading that much- and I loved it! My native language is spanish so I have a hard time connecting with stories written in english but this was amazing. I actually want to develop the relationship those two have with someone someday
THANK YOU!! I was actually working on translating this game to Spanish way back when but that project fell to the wayside when I started going to university. I'd like to publish that translation someday so that you can possibly read it in your native language :D thanks for taking the time to read and PLEASE GET SOME SLEEP!! lol

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users