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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 6:20 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:06 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Saturn's 6th Moon
Completed: BLACK
Projects: /!\Work in progress/!\
itch.io: schivafrecce
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BLACK

Language: English - Genre: Eerie/Horrorish - Free Short Game - 18+

You awake in a dark cave, with seemingly no memories of your past or your whereabouts.
And it's black. So black.

Be careful.




DOWNLOAD
https://schivafrecce.itch.io/black?secr ... qSBpJvhQi4
For Mac, Linux and Pc (please note that I've only tested the Pc version)

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**
After two weeks of pixelated blood, sweat and tears, I've finally finished it: my first release!

But first of all, introductions...

Hi! I've always been a lurker of this forum, and got inspired to finally make my own game thanks to the Nano17 jam. I started late, though, and didn't get to finish on time...but oh, well. Here's "Black", in all its monochromatic glory.

**About the game:**
Short game. Multiple endings. There's a bit of blood and gore, mostly censured, but I rated it R-18 just to be sure.
I've tested it myself, over and over, but if something doesn't work or you get some sort of bug/error please DO tell me. (p.s: I apologize in advance for possible misspellings or grammar errors)
Also, I'm a pansy when it comes to horror, and it wasn't what I was aiming for. So I'd call this game...spooky, I think? Or not. Maybe I failed completely.

Was it bad? Was it good? Neither of those?
Please, let me know what you think...and thank you ;)


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2017 10:27 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:06 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Saturn's 6th Moon
Completed: BLACK
Projects: /!\Work in progress/!\
itch.io: schivafrecce
Anyone?


Last edited by schivafrecce on Sat Apr 08, 2017 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:42 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:34 pm
Posts: 10
Location: Portland, OR
Tumblr: sessurea
I really enjoyed this. Absolutely love VNs that break the mold when it comes to how things are organized visually. Usually I find the presentation of VNs kind of jarring because they lack visual flow. Makes it feel like the visuals and the text are working against each other, competing for my attention. But you struck a great balance here; you obviously have a good command of composition and how to lead the player's eye in an engaging way. It works well to build tension and atmosphere.

As for the story, you did a great job hooking me from the beginning. I wasn't totally satisfied with my ending (felt a bit abrupt) but I was totally engaged the whole way through, and am definitely going to play again for the other endings. Loved the uncluttered, minimalist storytelling. IMO this is the sort of thing visual novels do best-- visuals and writing complimenting each other, working together to create story and atmosphere that neither could do alone.

The main menu prompts were a bit confusing, but I like the idea. The first thing I did was click "come closer," and I wasn't really sure what impact that had. Maybe there could be some kind of feedback when you click the come closer/keep your distance buttons, so it's clearer what effect they have on the story?

Out of all the games I've seen come out of NaNo17 so far, this is definitely my favorite. I'm excited to see what you work on next!


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2017 1:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:06 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Saturn's 6th Moon
Completed: BLACK
Projects: /!\Work in progress/!\
itch.io: schivafrecce
As a complete newbie, I was a bit nervous and unsure on what the response to my game would be: what you wrote really warmed my heart. Thank you :) I'm really, really happy that you took the time to play, and that you enjoyed my story.
For the visual part, yes, I know what you mean. That's why I wanted to experiment something different - and I'm glad to hear that it works well.

About the story: what ending did you get? I'm curious :wink: . And I apologize if it felt abrupt...you're right. I should have explored the story a bit more, but after a while I was going insane with the coding, and I was also eager to release it, so since it was my first project I decided to cut things a little :oops:

You actually gave me a great idea with the "come closer" button. At first I didn't think much of it - I just wanted players to "forget" it was a game, to make the experience more immersive - so even if you click it, it doesn't have a repercussion in game... but now I really think I should start searching/studying for a way to code that in the next update.

You are too kind, thank you so much. I hope I won't disappoint ;)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:41 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:34 pm
Posts: 10
Location: Portland, OR
Tumblr: sessurea
Haha whoops, somehow didn't realize I was maximizing the screen by selecting "come closer." My bad. Glad you got an idea out of it though! :D

I originally got the ending where I
followed the being the being into the dark cave, then fell down and died while running away. The other ending I got before I commented was one where I got eaten.
Now that I've played more, I think having abrupt endings like that isn't so bad, since it's a shorter game with a lot of endings, and
trying to find an ending where you survive
is part of the fun. Elaborating on some of the endings may have needlessly drawn things out.

Upon replaying, I got the "Home" ending, which I found pretty satisfying.
I am a total sucker for befriending scary things. I love my sweet little ugly child.
I did notice a few typos this time around, but pretty understandable that some would slip through, considering the NaNo time limit.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:40 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:06 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Saturn's 6th Moon
Completed: BLACK
Projects: /!\Work in progress/!\
itch.io: schivafrecce
Ah ok, now I understand XD
I'm glad that you found the other ending satisfying, though :D


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 2:11 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 24, 2016 11:35 am
Posts: 8
Good story.
Although, in my opinion, it was not so eerie, it was quite intriguing.
I stopped guessing what would happen in the next line, and just swam along the stream of the story.

Graphics are great, especially the stranger's approach in the forest!

On my walk-through I felt calm, so I managed to stay alive.
First, I got the ending #1, then the true ending.
I was pleasantly surprised that the relationship between the main character and the "creature" is "the parent and the child" one.
It seems to me that there is not much stories with such dynamic between characters.

I tried other endings, but I couldn't steel myself to be mean all the way through to get the third one.:_D

Very liked this detail:
When the child says that he feels sick from everything, and he hasn't tried to eat only you.
It really seems like this line is from horror story, and we have a beast that can't eat anything but human flesh.
But the main character reasons with him, and we get an interesting twist. Refreshing.


Thank you for your work and good luck with your next project++


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 11:04 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:06 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Saturn's 6th Moon
Completed: BLACK
Projects: /!\Work in progress/!\
itch.io: schivafrecce
Schtranzen wrote:
Good story.
Although, in my opinion, it was not so eerie, it was quite intriguing.
I stopped guessing what would happen in the next line, and just swam along the stream of the story.

Intriguing? I like it even better :) thank you!
Schtranzen wrote:
I was pleasantly surprised that the relationship between the main character and the "creature" is "the parent and the child" one.
It seems to me that there is not much stories with such dynamic between characters.

I'm very happy you liked that aspect.
Even if I made a "horror" game, I'm not a fan of the genre: most of the time, there are a lot of stale and reused cliches and the main characters don't have a brain. My aim with this game was to create something different, something with a sort of "depth".
I didn't want it to have the usual mindless, blood-thirsty monster and so -somehow- I came up with a lonely, misjudged child instead: you can either choose to be aggressive or be kind and explain things to him (That's why I also like to call this game my "creepy parenting simulator", ah ah).
And I really wanted to give the players a chance to befriend him - because come on! He was just trying to be a good host, in his own twisted way (but of course,
I had to trick players into seeing otherwise. For example, I hope that after finishing the game, it was clear that the "scratching sounds" were the sounds of him drawing, and not sharpening his spear).

Schtranzen wrote:
Very liked this detail:
When the child says that he feels sick from everything, and he hasn't tried to eat only you.
It really seems like this line is from horror story, and we have a beast that can't eat anything but human flesh.
But the main character reasons with him, and we get an interesting twist. Refreshing.

Thank you again :) With that part I tried to comunicate that:
1)things are not always the way they appear to be.
2)One shouldn't let fear cloud his judgment, but always try to think and be smart to resolve problems.

Schtranzen wrote:
Thank you for your work and good luck with your next project++

A huge, third thank YOU for leaving your feedback! I really aprecciated it ;)


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 4:56 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:06 am
Posts: 79
Completed: What's your name? : 2017 nano reno, Saccharine: a misleading sim date. Reverie: an odd simdate. Where adabans grow: an asian simdate. Monochrome and colors.
Projects: The Coffinbearer's Handbook, Deus Vult: an otome,
Organization: Amiralo
Deviantart: Amiralo
Ahhhh I really liked this game. Despite it being a bit creepy in the beginning, I thought it was ultimately heartwarming!

Your use of text and words are just phenomenal! It was minimalistic and effective !

Can't wait to see more things from you in the future!

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My deviant art (where you can look at the embarrassing sim dates I have made). http://amiralo.deviantart.com/

My current project: Image
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 1:17 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:06 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Saturn's 6th Moon
Completed: BLACK
Projects: /!\Work in progress/!\
itch.io: schivafrecce
Thank you so much Amiralo! :shock: :oops: :D

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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2017 7:54 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 5:34 am
Posts: 197
Hi there! This is a cool visual novel, just visually stunning. Even the font was unsettling, which only added to the creepy atmosphere of the story. I believe I got ending 5 of 9 on my first playthrough, so that was nice (sorry if the number is wrong, but it was a happy ending!). Also, I'm proud of you for finishing this stylish visual novel. ;)


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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2017 5:27 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:06 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Saturn's 6th Moon
Completed: BLACK
Projects: /!\Work in progress/!\
itch.io: schivafrecce
Sonomi wrote:
Hi there! This is a cool visual novel, just visually stunning. Even the font was unsettling, which only added to the creepy atmosphere of the story. I believe I got ending 5 of 9 on my first playthrough, so that was nice (sorry if the number is wrong, but it was a happy ending!). Also, I'm proud of you for finishing this stylish visual novel. ;)


Thank you! Stylish is such a great compliment, I feel honored *^_^* I'm also glad to hear that I managed to set the right atmosphere, it was my main focus :)

(oh and I think the number is right, so no worries ) :wink:

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