Nanairo [SuNoFes 2017] [Short] [Free] [Gen]

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timepatches
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Completed: Nanairo
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Nanairo [SuNoFes 2017] [Short] [Free] [Gen]

#1 Post by timepatches » Thu Aug 31, 2017 12:32 pm

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Nanairo is a short, whimsical game about a unicorn who goes on a journey.

It’s a kinetic novel with multiple dialogue choices & one ending, and should take less than half an hour to play. It features seven unique BGs, two CGs, and sprites, all done by yours truly.
This game is my first VN and it’s been entirely solo dev, so I’d love some feedback!
SuNoFes 2017 has been an absolute blast and I can’t wait to get cracking on some bigger projects ;w;

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SuNoFes logo by poutato

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Nanairo’s OST song ‘Dreamtide’ is by the wonderful Freen in Green, please give them a visit! ;w;

While we’re here, I also wanted to say a little thankyou to Lemmasoft at large, because there’s absolutely no way I would have ever thought I could make a VN, let alone finish one, without this forum. Even though I don’t post here a lot I’m always lurking, and it’s an inspiration every day.


And finally, some questions!

Did you enjoy the story or was it a little too simplistic / naff / narm-y? Was there enough mystery in the story to pull you through or did you get bored?
Was the second-person narration jarring for you, or did you find it interesting?
Was the ending too abrupt, or was there enough payoff that it was satisfying?
Are there any glaring newbie dev mistakes I’ve made?

Code: Select all

[b]Did you enjoy the story or was it a little too simplistic / naff / narm-y? Was there enough mystery in the story to pull you through or did you get bored?[/b]
[b]Was the second-person narration jarring for you, or did you find it interesting?[/b]
[b]Was the ending too abrupt, or was there enough payoff that it was satisfying?[/b]
[b]Are there any glaring newbie dev mistakes I’ve made?[/b]
Thank you for reading, and for playing! ♥
★☆ currently: IT'S DONE \(*°▽°*)/
need an editor? dev blog twitter
i appreciate honest critique!

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dragondatingsim
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Re: Nanairo [SuNoFes 2017] [Short] [Free] [Gen]

#2 Post by dragondatingsim » Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:24 pm

Since I had a chance to play this, I'll make a short comment here.

I liked the sprite art, but the background/ui art clashed with it a bit.

timepatches wrote:
Thu Aug 31, 2017 12:32 pm

Did you enjoy the story or was it a little too simplistic / naff / narm-y? Was there enough mystery in the story to pull you through or did you get bored?
Was the second-person narration jarring for you, or did you find it interesting?
Was the ending too abrupt, or was there enough payoff that it was satisfying?
Are there any glaring newbie dev mistakes I’ve made?
1. The concept is sound for a short story, but I probably would have liked some more context, especially at the beginning. This may just be personal preference, though (and probably wouldn't have been easy to do here, since it's all based on mystery).

2. It worked for the most part, but the narration seemed to focus more on Nana than the player's actions, so in places it reads more like it's a story about Nana being told in third person.

3. For a short VN, it worked well enough.

4. Transitions! They are easy to implement, but improve the experience of playing a lot.

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timepatches
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Posts: 32
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2016 1:52 am
Completed: Nanairo
Projects: Angels with Scaly Wings, Nanairo, DemiDato (WIP)
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Deviantart: musepony
Skype: timepatches
itch: timepatches
Location: Australia
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Re: Nanairo [SuNoFes 2017] [Short] [Free] [Gen]

#3 Post by timepatches » Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:39 am

dragondatingsim wrote:
Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:24 pm
Since I had a chance to play this, I'll make a short comment here.

I liked the sprite art, but the background/ui art clashed with it a bit.
[/snip]

1. The concept is sound for a short story, but I probably would have liked some more context, especially at the beginning. This may just be personal preference, though (and probably wouldn't have been easy to do here, since it's all based on mystery).

2. It worked for the most part, but the narration seemed to focus more on Nana than the player's actions, so in places it reads more like it's a story about Nana being told in third person.

3. For a short VN, it worked well enough.

4. Transitions! They are easy to implement, but improve the experience of playing a lot.
Hi!
Thank you so much for the comment! I really appreciate you playing the game and stopping by to give me some feedback c:
(And you're totally right about transitions! Can't believe I forgot them, I might add them in a patch later on cx )
★☆ currently: IT'S DONE \(*°▽°*)/
need an editor? dev blog twitter
i appreciate honest critique!

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dragondatingsim
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Re: Nanairo [SuNoFes 2017] [Short] [Free] [Gen]

#4 Post by dragondatingsim » Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:46 am

Another small thing I forgot to mention:

+ on the prose. Especially the small descriptive actions of Nana throughout really worked well to make the character come alive.

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