Congratulations on finishing your first VN! I'm definitely intrigued by the combination of yuri and time travel, so I'll have to check it out sometime.
I liked this game. I enjoyed playing it even though it did contain some mistakes.
For example, 'holydays' should have been 'holidays.'
But making a few mistakes isn't such a terrible thing. I still had a nice time reading about the relationship between Amanda and Nelly. Though Future Amanda meeting Young Amanda was more interesting to me.
I also felt that the ending where Young Amanda helped her future self return to her own time was more realistic than what I think was supposed to be the happiest ending. It actually wasn't entirely happy since you know they will have to separate... If only Future Amanda and Future Nelly could meet and then be happy...
That was a really cute story, I found it really relaxing to read through. I should have kept the good end for last though as wow, some of those bad ends are bleak @_@
Just finished reading this and it was really cute! Great job on your first project. I think you could have slowed down the pace a bit to establish the setting and characters more in some parts - especially the beginning, where Amanda arriving in the past and running into Nelly and then Nelly inviting her to stay at her house all happen in very quick succession. I can imagine drawing it out more with Amanda spending some time wandering her hometown in confusion before meeting Nelly, and then spending a while hanging out with Nelly before Nelly offers to let her stay with her, etc. I also would have liked to get to know young Amanda more in the route where you meet her. But all in all it was a nice little story and I hope to see more VNs from you in the future!
Just downloaded and read this on a whim, and it was really enjoyable!
As others have said, there're a few minor errors here and there in the text, but considering the tight timescale this was created on, they really don't detract.
Similarly, as has been noted, it'd have been lovely to have things a little less 'compressed', but again, I can understand that with a limited amount of development time it's only natural that the story was kept fairly sharply focused on its key events.