Don't Leave [Free][Short]

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Invictöus
Newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2016 11:17 pm
Completed: Don't Leave.
Projects: Idle Outside.
Tumblr: https://ozonikki.tumblr.com/
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Don't Leave [Free][Short]

#1 Post by Invictöus »

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"Don't Leave" is a short visual novel in which you control a deceased man who has been stuck on a desolated limbo for years. One day, a girl he used to know (and forgot) appears out of nowhere, and tries to help him remember one or two things about his past.

Recommended for those who want to relax for a while. It's short (an hour or so), so it doesn't save your progress.

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Writing, music, art: Ozonikki.
Voice Acting: D.
Radio Song: Franco.
Background images and sound effects were taken from free sources and heavily modified.
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Note: This novel also deals with some heavy topics. Do not proceed if you know this may harm you in any way.
Note 2: This is also my very first project ever. Please, be as critical as possible, as I want to make sure my future titles are actually good.
Not good.

LightAndDark
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Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2018 7:25 am
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Re: Don't Leave [Free][Short]

#2 Post by LightAndDark »

Just want to point out a grammatical oddity I saw. "The thought of she leaving and the return of my loneliness" (should be "her leaving")

I don't get the lack of name boxes which became a bit confusing later on. Maybe that was intentionally done for effect, but I disagree with that choice.
Also at the part where you can say "didn't you see that?" the game does the exact same dialogue does if you say "nothing". I assume that's not intended?

I'm probably just being an idiot (sometimes I'm a bit slow at understanding stuff lol) but can you explain (in a PM if you don't want to spoil for others) the ending? I played through twice and still don't really understand what actually happens, and the fact that the last screen... You know.

Anyway, it was well made for your first project, if I understood it properly I'd probably be singing its praises more. I like the unique atmosphere it sets and maintains throughout.

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