[NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

Finished games are posted here, once they've been tested and are ready for wide release.
Forum rules
Adult content should not be posted in this forum.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Scout
Veteran
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 12:46 am
Projects: A Princess of Venus
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Contact:

[NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#1 Post by Scout »

Sketchbook: Schoolgirls in Love and Other Assorted Heartbreak
sketchbook.jpg
A slice-of-life melodrama that's all about the important parts of growing up: falling in love with another girl, impeaching a corrupt student council president, sex, and not colouring within the lines.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present: MELODRAMA

*thud*

Ren'Py 6.7.1c lint report, generated at: Wed Apr 1 14:13:17 2009


Statistics:

The game contains 788 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 11456 words,
for an average of 14.5 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

Lint is not a substitute for thorough testing. Remember to update Ren'Py
before releasing. New releases fix bugs and improve compatibility.
Edit: Updated once more.
Windows
Mac
Linux
Last edited by Scout on Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:41 am, edited 4 times in total.

User avatar
DaFool
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 4171
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:39 pm
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#2 Post by DaFool »

Scout, I've been awaiting your game the most... the lint however made my heart fall since maybe it might be unfair to compare this to the epicness that was Cell Phone Love Letter.

(And just as I should be home playing games, I'm still stuck in the office pulling yet another all-nighter with several other colleagues trying to meet a real-life deadline set by our client. Life is, truly, unfair. Melodrama = Melodrama + 1.)

User avatar
Taleweaver
Writing Maniac
Posts: 3428
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#3 Post by Taleweaver »

Aww, sweet! Though the story became a little predictable in the last third (you as a reader see through everything much sooner than Alice does, and I supposed that's intentional), it was very everything I expected from a realistic game about school days: confused sexuality, friendship versus love, evil people in nice guises and popularity contests. The art really added to the immature feeling of it all; a perfect game for NaNoRenO! In my book, the best 2009 NaNoRen0 entry I've played.
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman
Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming
Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year
Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift
More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira

DrakeNavarone
Veteran
Posts: 338
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:27 am
Completed: see sig below
Projects: always; never not
Organization: Team BG
Location: PA, USA
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#4 Post by DrakeNavarone »

Taleweaver wrote:In my book, the best 2009 NaNoRen0 entry I've played.
Seconded. What I really like about your games is that they are more than just stories or even just visual novels, they are experiences. A few good friends of mine here love to talk about vns as "experiences" and I find this to be a perfect example of what they mean. The custom... well, everything... gives it this very individualized look and style, but also atmosphere and charm, that many of this game's peers unfortunately lack (and I'm including my own in this too... after three such games by you, I realize I do have to pay more attention to giving my future projects a more unique look and feel).

I know you were struggling and complaining about the art in the project's last hours, but I can tell you it was definitely worth the effort. The transition from crayon to B&W pencil was especially amazing (though, admittedly, it threw me for a bit until I figured out its intent about a minute or so later... curse you, slow personal reaction time!) and heightened the experience all the more. A really great work on all fronts.

I just have to say it again: best Nano entry for 2009. Thank you for this.

( And don't stress about Emma's name... it really is just an insignificant coincidence... )
http://www.twitter.com/drakeynv
The Compendium of Drake:
Starlit Sky ~ Songs of Araiah ~ Mirai Imouto ~ Temple Glen ~ Fuyu no Tabi

lordcloudx
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1406
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 12:47 pm
Completed: http://rd2k2-games.blogspot.com

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#5 Post by lordcloudx »

*pounces on chance to post after teh Drake*
Here's a little something from my sketchbook :D (also done in crayons)

Hehe! I had to guess at the footwear. I hope my fashion sense isn't too lacking.
alice.jpg
... poor Jonathan.

JK. Haha!

I have to say, this was a most inspiring piece. I didn't expect it be that way since I initially didn't care much for the characters and setting. I like stories with a little bit of fantasy in them, but then, the elements of the VN just mesh so well together that I found myself paying more and more attention to the story as I went on.

Once I'd subconsciously accepted that the on-screen drawings were mere representations of the actual characters, the story just gradually drew me in and in the end, it turned out to be a nice slice-of-life deviation from the usual VN fare.

I like the little transitions and the change from crayons to pencils on-screen as the story progressed in the same direction. It was a great way to emphasize that the transition was more than just a physical one.

I love the use of the theme of being true to yourself and not letting others walk all over you, which was prevalent throughout the different parts of the story. The sequence of events was a bit predictable, admittedly, but it didn't in any way keep it from being an uplifting read.

I also like your literary style; simple but effective just like the entirety of this VN. I know someone who'd call it an "unpretentious" style >). (you know who you are)

Lastly, I like how you played up your strengths as a creator. Using a fully customized interface (since you can program well) and simple, (not exactly pretty) but effective drawings along with appropriately filtered backgrounds; making it clear that the text should be the main focus of the player. You have excellent design sense and it shows in how well the different elements of this VN go together.

Like I said, this was a most inspiring piece for me. It just helped me make a pivotal choice regarding a future endeavor.

This is an excellent VN. Thank you for sharing. (Oh, and I just love melodrama :P)
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

User avatar
EwanG
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 711
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:37 pm
Location: San Antonio, TX
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#6 Post by EwanG »

Not much to add that lordcloudx hasn't added above. But it was a fun game, and I love the style you used and how it tied to the story itself. Kudos!
Working on something... might even be something good :D

chunderbunny
Regular
Posts: 52
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:50 pm
Projects: SSS:Renaissance, Canadense (WIP)
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#7 Post by chunderbunny »

Rah,I liked this one a lot. I have to admit, I don't really pay attention to artwork so that one part confused me!

I liked the story, it was well paced and ended at exactly the right point. Well done!

Jake
Support Hero
Posts: 3826
Joined: Sat Jun 17, 2006 7:28 pm
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#8 Post by Jake »

I quite liked it myself, and I have trouble resisting a challenge... :3

Image

There's lots of things wrong with it, but hey. It turns out wax crayons aren't so easy to erase...
(I'd have done a "five years later" version and posted it in the H Art forum, but... well, you can consider my reluctance to draw naked girlflesh a protest at your anti-blowjob propaganda, on behalf of men everywhere! :P)
Server error: user 'Jake' not found

Scout
Veteran
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 12:46 am
Projects: A Princess of Venus
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#9 Post by Scout »

DaFool wrote:Scout, I've been awaiting your game the most... the lint however made my heart fall since maybe it might be unfair to compare this to the epicness that was Cell Phone Love Letter.
It ended up being a lot shorter than I expected it to be, for sure; especially since I cut out a couple plot threads that just didn't really seem to echo the theme. I figure it's better to do the story the justice it deserves than to drag it out for another half hour for length, ne?


Thanks for the comments, and holy crap, cloud and Jake, those are adorable. It's pretty heartwarming to get that sort of response!
Jake wrote:
(I'd have done a "five years later" version and posted it in the H Art forum, but... well, you can consider my reluctance to draw naked girlflesh a protest at your anti-blowjob propaganda, on behalf of men everywhere! :P)
Propaganda? Pfft, you should hear what my original plans for that scene were!

I had so much trouble with that bit, really. First I wasn't sure whether or not to include it, then whether it should show anything; and even after figuring it out, that was the hardest thing I've ever written. I actually felt nauseated when I was starting to write that part, which is... definitely a unique experience for me. I've killed characters, turned them evil, made them hurt their best friends, but apparently none of that hurts nearly as much as poor Alice being pushed to her knees. I still wasn't positive if I should've gone through with it at that point; it was only when I realized how much it hurt to do that I realized that it was definitely dramatically necessary.

I hope that doesn't sound too weird. :P

Nya-chan Production
Regular
Posts: 50
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:45 am
Projects: autumn, Identityless
Location: Ward 7F
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#10 Post by Nya-chan Production »

I tried it, but... sincerely...

I couldn't get into it.

Don't really know why, I liked the theme, liked the graphics, liked the story, but it just didn't work for me, maybe partly because the first and the third person were mixed up (you read Alice's thoughts, but you see her on the screen). I just couldn't get "draw into it".

So, very nice piece with nice ideas and story, but for me it has nothing for which I'd like to replay it, sorry ^^;;

Keep up the good work, though! (b^^)b
Currently working on: Identityless
HOW DO I INPUT THIS GODDAMN THING I WANT IN MY GAME TO IT?
WHY ARE THE CHARACTER ARTISTS SO LAZY?

Watercolorheart
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1314
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:15 am
Completed: Controlled Chaos / Sum of the Parts / "that" Midna game with ZONEsama
Projects: Sparse Series/Oddments Shop original cartoon in Pevrea; Cybernetic Duels (fighting game); Good Vibin'
Organization: Watercolorheart Studios
IRC Nick: BCS
Tumblr: adminwatercolor
Deviantart: itsmywatercolorheart
Github: Watercolordevdev
Skype: heartnotes
Soundcloud: Watercollider
itch: watercolorheart
Location: Florida
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#11 Post by Watercolorheart »

Ah, another NanoReno entry to add to my "if I ever get more time" list.
Nya-chan Production wrote:the first and the third person were mixed up (you read Alice's thoughts, but you see her on the screen
That's quite a common trapping of the genre, although some may show their protagonist only in CG, mirrors, or face icons of some kind.

You just have to accept that it's like reading a diary accompanied by pictures of the action occurring ...
I'm not even the same person anymore

ashogo
Newbie
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 8:18 am
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#12 Post by ashogo »

ah melodrama, I love it.

okay, so to be honest I went into the game not expecting much, partly because of the somewhat-ugly artwork (wait, don't kill me yet) I had seen in screens. Now I laugh at myself, because the art style is brilliant. As I played through and began to understand the characters, I quickly grew attached to the art style. It really gives the game a unique style-and, damn!, I can't imagine how much work that took but it definitely paid off.

The actual story itself was a bit predictable, but it was told well enough that it doesn't matter. I could really get into Alice's head thanks to the writing, and the other characters were well characterized too. Alice and Emma as a couple were pretty much cute as hell, this coming from someone who almost never uses the word cute. :roll: What can I say; as a slice-of-life it has pretty much everything you could want.

Congrats on the release, and thanks for a great vn! Now I have go play some cellphone love letter...

Scout
Veteran
Posts: 201
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 12:46 am
Projects: A Princess of Venus
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#13 Post by Scout »

I've updated my initial post with a minorly updated version; the most significant part is that it uses Ren'Py 6.9.1, so it'll be playable on netbooks and anything else with absurdly low resolutions, although also I added a more extensive credits and installers for the Windows and Mac versions. Nothing worth redownloading, but it's now okay to be uploaded to the RAA.

Edit: Updated for 6.9.1h.

User avatar
Midnighticequeen
Veteran
Posts: 292
Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:04 pm
Completed: Bunni and Kitty, Sweethearts, Tiesa's Tales
Projects: Wish
Organization: Ice Queen Games
itch: icequeenstudios
Contact:

Re: [NaNoRenO 2009] Sketchbook

#14 Post by Midnighticequeen »

Awesome game, I loved it! :D You told the story very well and the art style and music fit your theme well. You did a fantastic job! Keep up the good work please!

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users