Renewed Fate

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ArkticArtz
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Renewed Fate

#1 Post by ArkticArtz » Thu May 31, 2018 1:19 pm

Image
How well do you really know them?

Renewed Fate is a supernatural visual novel about the complicated nature of relationships. What is right, what is wrong and what it means to truely know and accept someone. What would you do if you could bring someone back? All of Them?



Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5lFgZjw5G0


Page/download link: https://chibinomicongames.itch.io/renewed-fate

Features:
- Multiple ending options
- Short story
- Choices that aren't black and white
Screenshots (resized):
Image
Image
Image


Thank you for your time! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated : ] Any advice about things would be wonderful too, I'm pretty new at development.
Anywho thanks again!

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Re: Renewed Fate

#2 Post by Zelan » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:11 pm

What's the word count of the game? I'd like to play it, but I don't know if it's something that I can finish during a short break or something that I need to set aside more time for.

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Re: Renewed Fate

#3 Post by ArkticArtz » Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:59 am

Zelan wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:11 pm
What's the word count of the game? I'd like to play it, but I don't know if it's something that I can finish during a short break or something that I need to set aside more time for.
It's 5500 words roughly : ]

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Re: Renewed Fate

#4 Post by Zelan » Wed Jun 06, 2018 10:14 pm

I think that the concept you have here is super interesting, but the VN felt rushed in parts and I think you could have fleshed out the characters more. Their backstories were clear; their personalities, less so. There were also a lot of grammatical errors and the script could really use a run-through by a proofreader, especially to add in commas - you were missing a lot.

I have to say that I did really like the art for Kharon, as well as your forest background. They were very atmospheric, especially when paired with the music you chose.
The ending where Evan kills Jude was surprisingly violent, but I think it was important to have it as a choice to explore the possible ways that Evan dealt with his anger after having his trust broken. That choice menu and the way that you executed it was probably one of the best parts of the VN, in my opinion. However, I disliked how disconnected the choice was from the conversation with Addison later. It makes sense for Evan not to bring it up if he has come to terms with Jude's death, but if he brings Jude back to life I feel like that would be something Addison would know about. The choice felt meaningful in the moment, but it loses some of its impact because it doesn't seem to affect Evan's relationship with Addison at all.
One thing that sort of irked me was the moment where Evan mentions that he "has his meds if he needs them," or something along those lines. That's... not really how antidepressants work. It takes prolonged use before they kick in, so it's not something that he'd just pop like a Tylenol if he was feeling really depressed that day. They're typically taken on a daily basis and at a fixed time. A better line here would be something like "I've been taking my meds for a while now" or "The dosage is figured out so I'm doing a lot better."

I couldn't find music credits anywhere in the game itself or on any of the game's pages - even if the music is free to use, the creators still need to be credited under most licenses. I would suggest adding that information into the game's "About" section, as well as posting it here in the LemmaSoft thread.

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Re: Renewed Fate

#5 Post by ArkticArtz » Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:56 am

Zelan wrote:
Wed Jun 06, 2018 10:14 pm
I think that the concept you have here is super interesting, but the VN felt rushed in parts and I think you could have fleshed out the characters more. Their backstories were clear; their personalities, less so. There were also a lot of grammatical errors and the script could really use a run-through by a proofreader, especially to add in commas - you were missing a lot.

I have to say that I did really like the art for Kharon, as well as your forest background. They were very atmospheric, especially when paired with the music you chose.
The ending where Evan kills Jude was surprisingly violent, but I think it was important to have it as a choice to explore the possible ways that Evan dealt with his anger after having his trust broken. That choice menu and the way that you executed it was probably one of the best parts of the VN, in my opinion. However, I disliked how disconnected the choice was from the conversation with Addison later. It makes sense for Evan not to bring it up if he has come to terms with Jude's death, but if he brings Jude back to life I feel like that would be something Addison would know about. The choice felt meaningful in the moment, but it loses some of its impact because it doesn't seem to affect Evan's relationship with Addison at all.
One thing that sort of irked me was the moment where Evan mentions that he "has his meds if he needs them," or something along those lines. That's... not really how antidepressants work. It takes prolonged use before they kick in, so it's not something that he'd just pop like a Tylenol if he was feeling really depressed that day. They're typically taken on a daily basis and at a fixed time. A better line here would be something like "I've been taking my meds for a while now" or "The dosage is figured out so I'm doing a lot better."

I couldn't find music credits anywhere in the game itself or on any of the game's pages - even if the music is free to use, the creators still need to be credited under most licenses. I would suggest adding that information into the game's "About" section, as well as posting it here in the LemmaSoft thread.
Thanks for the feedback! I got some people to look over for spelling but I guess I need to double down on that haha.

Art and Kharon: Thanks! I liked them a lot as well, maybe I should lean into stuff like that more in the future haha.

Music: I made all the music haha. So I should uh... credit myself I guess?

Meds: Very good point. It's a consistant thing to take not just a pop and happy pill. At the very least it should be reworded. Thanks : ]

spoiler stuff:
Interesting. Yeah that area is a lot of where the inspiration for it came from. I can definitely see what you mean though when it comes to after. The idea was that there wasn't any contact with her from Jude after but hm, ill think about impacts like that in the future.
But yeah thanks! Was interesting hearing your thoughts : ] I'll keep a lot of it in mind.

Edit: I'll think more about characterization as well : ]

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Re: Renewed Fate

#6 Post by Zelan » Thu Jun 07, 2018 1:53 pm

ArkticArtz wrote:
Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:56 am
Music: I made all the music haha. So I should uh... credit myself I guess?
Oh, I didn't realize you'd made your own music! I'm so used to new creators finding free resources that I assumed that was what you did. My mistake. c: You did a great job with the music, well done.

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Re: Renewed Fate

#7 Post by ArkticArtz » Fri Jun 08, 2018 4:35 pm

Zelan wrote:
Thu Jun 07, 2018 1:53 pm
ArkticArtz wrote:
Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:56 am
Music: I made all the music haha. So I should uh... credit myself I guess?
Oh, I didn't realize you'd made your own music! I'm so used to new creators finding free resources that I assumed that was what you did. My mistake. c: You did a great job with the music, well done.
Thanks! Haha yeah I took it as a compliment, I'm still working on getting better at it : ]

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