Hi there! I haven't been able to finish this VN yet, but I am in the process of doing so. However, I think i can give some insight on how I feel about this VN (-:
Starting off the bat, I would like to say that I was thoroughly pleased and surprised to find out that this VN was really nicely set up. That was something really cool because even a lot of commercial novels out there dont have VN's this fleshed out, and I can tell you put a lot of effort into the style, layout, artwork, writing and the mechanics of this novel. Additionally, I really enjoyed the GUI/menu screen! It was soo beautiful, and one of the nicest layouts that I have ever seen. I love how the colors were bright and saturated, and these comments also apply to the backgrounds of each scene as well. I read above that you spent about 4 years writing/working on this VN and your hard work and thoughtfulness really pays off.
Unfortunately, I also have to agree with the comments made above as well.
From the beginning, I was a little taken aback by the long monologue at the beginning about life and death--I felt like it was unnecessarily philosophical for the start of a VN, especially when I didn't exactly know what the plot was about. I found myself skipping through most of this beginning scenes, and I actually found myself a little frustrated (and felt kind of bad) because all of those parts were voiced, including the parts where Merona was describing the scene. Of course, this is my opinion and I think others might really appreciate the fact that everything is voiced. I know I'm contradicting myself in what I said in the paragraph above, but I do feel like all of that voicing was a little bit excessive. Of course, voicing her inner thoughts and dialogue is awesome, but I feel as if the monologues really aren't necessary to voice, as well as the description of the scene. I also know that most of the character voicing really only occurs at the beginning, (so i kind of thought my game broke lol). Jumping back to the point before though, I will say that you're not the only VN that I've seen that has that type of introduction. A lot of other ones really struggled with capturing the reader's/player's attention from the start.
I actually really do enjoy the story. I like the way the characters were introduced and the way scenes are described.
But as someone currently studying journalism in university, I can say that there is a lot of fluff in your writing. I know you spent so much time working on the plot so I feel really REALLY terrible saying this, but I honestly believe that a lot of the descriptive scenes were excessively fluffy, and didn't really contribute to much of the story. I know always come back to the beginning, but I find that the opening scene is the best way to describe this. The way Merona talked about life and death was so descriptive I actually got really confused. Of course, the dialogue about life and death is important, because it sets up her character and shows what type of being she is, but I really felt like it didn't give me as clear of a glance into her character as it would have been if you started with that action packed scene where she's being attacked by that monster, then possibly going through that monologue after that event, then I feel as if it would've made more sense. Additionally, I felt like there was an imbalance in the way the characters were introduced. Of course, I can't say much about this because I haven't finished this VN, but I feel like I'm left in the dark about certain characters while other ones have gotten some really good character development.
I want to ask you to not be discouraged with the feedback given above! I think overall this is a really really excellent effort and I know that you'll only improve from now on. I'm sure the advice I'll give you below are ones that you've already don e in the process of releasing this VN, but if you haven't, I hope you'll take it into consideration!
1. I think having beta readers to discern grammatical mistakes and the plot WHILE you're writing the story would really help. Or even so, having two writers working on the project at once. I think that would quicken the process (if the writers are willing to communicate well of course) and also allow the beta readers / writers to work cohesively as a team. I know there's a lot of beta readers / writers that treat VN-creating as a hobby and would be so eager to give your team feedback.
2. I can see from your previous posts that your team was incredibly well-organized and you really planned everything out so I would say continue that! Also I have no idea how your team operates and whether you guys chat often, but asking each other questions within the group; even if it's not their expertise always helps.
3. I really appreciate you trying to step up to the effort of making the VN voiced! Like I said above, I'd say stick to strictly the dialogue and I think it would be less work and editing overall (and it really steps up the idea of consistency).
I hope my feedback was valuable to read! And I really wish you all the best (-: I will continue reading tihs VN and if there's anything else I'll just edit this post.