The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

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Klaziki
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The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

#1 Post by Klaziki » Sun Oct 07, 2018 7:59 pm

The Vampire's Memories

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Free | Kinetic | Web | Short | Halloween | Vampire

~800 lines, 30 mins+ to read. Best viewed with Google Chrome web browser.


Read it online here or watch a video recording on YouTube here


SUMMARY

Change is hard. It doesn't come easily. Nobody knows that better than Melanie. From a young age, she has always been shy and awkward. She struggles to express herself, and often speaks words that contradict her feelings. She unintentionally drives people away from her, and is convinced that she will be this way forever.

On a fine October day, Melanie gets invited to a Halloween party. She hopes that she will be able to make friends at the party, but fate has another plan for her. On the night of the party, she loses her way and wanders into an abandoned house. There, she has an encounter with a vampire that changes her life forever...

TEASER VIDEO


SCREENSHOTS

Image Image Image

CREDITS

Story, Art, and Programming
Klaziki

Music
Kevin Macleod (Incompetech.com)

Sounds
Soundbible.com, Freesound.org

CREATOR NOTES
  • You can use your web browser's zoom function to enlarge the VN to your liking.
  • If there are issues with the VN in the web browser, please try watching the video recording!
  • Please let me know what you think about the story and the VN's functions!
  • Let me know if there's anything I can improve on. :)
Thanks for checking out my first VN!

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Re: The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

#2 Post by Zelan » Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:05 pm

This was a cute story. I was pleasantly surprised by how much art there was for it - it all looks really fantastic, you did a great job on it. I liked the ending especially, I was worried for a bit that it wouldn't have a happy ending.

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GoooLJ
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Re: The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

#3 Post by GoooLJ » Mon Oct 08, 2018 9:52 am

The teaser seemed very cute to me. The same old vampire story, but I think the game is awesome. Gonna try it later

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nerupuff
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Re: The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

#4 Post by nerupuff » Mon Oct 08, 2018 11:00 am

Tried this today! Congrats on the release. I do love the music you used for it; they really enhance the scenes you have (especially when Melanie has the encounter). Cute art (I love the mini CGs)and cute game!
I really felt bad for Melanie at the start but I'm glad she got to meet Alexander, and I really love the ending!
Such a heartwarming tale. ^^ Thank you for sharing your VN with us.
Hire me for proofreading, editing, and (maybe) writing! Check here~

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Klaziki
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Re: The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

#5 Post by Klaziki » Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:10 pm

Zelan wrote:
Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:05 pm
This was a cute story. I was pleasantly surprised by how much art there was for it - it all looks really fantastic, you did a great job on it. I liked the ending especially, I was worried for a bit that it wouldn't have a happy ending.
Thank you! I actually had less art in it before, but I'm glad I took the time to add more before release. :)

GoooLJ wrote:
Mon Oct 08, 2018 9:52 am
The teaser seemed very cute to me. The same old vampire story, but I think the game is awesome. Gonna try it later
Thanks! I hope you enjoy it :)

nerupuff wrote:
Mon Oct 08, 2018 11:00 am
Tried this today! Congrats on the release. I do love the music you used for it; they really enhance the scenes you have (especially when Melanie has the encounter). Cute art (I love the mini CGs)and cute game!
I really felt bad for Melanie at the start but I'm glad she got to meet Alexander, and I really love the ending!
Such a heartwarming tale. ^^ Thank you for sharing your VN with us.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading my story! :D

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superjamie
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Re: The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

#6 Post by superjamie » Sun Oct 21, 2018 10:02 pm

Nice story. It took about 30 minutes to get through.

The writing is good. I was interested in the characters and they both had good growth. I laughed at Alex's pumpkin, that was funny. The last conversation was a nice tug on the heartstrings. Well done telling so much in such a short time.

The art style suits well and is cute. The different rooms and the many small pieces of art like the apples and diary and pumpkins really help fill out the story and set the scene. It's very easy to leave short stories feeling a bit "empty" but you've managed the opposite. Really good work.

To provide something to improve, I found Melanie's mouth to be a bit distracting. I understand the black outline is supposed to show the creases of the mouth, but with the red lips it often looks like she has a moustache! Perhaps you could try just a slightly darker skin tone instead of black lines? Perhaps it needs a different mouth style.

The VN engine was good and worked well. I'm not sure if you write it yourself, but if so then keyboard control would be nice. Perhaps spacebar to advance, or left/right arrow to go forward and back. The story log could start at the bottom (most recent) instead of the top (oldest) but that's a minor problem.

Thanks for this fun little game. I'd give it a 6 (decent) or 7 (good) following the VNDB rating system. A great result for your first VN. Please do keep writing more!

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Klaziki
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Re: The Vampire's Memories [Free] [Kinetic] [Web] [Short] [Halloween]

#7 Post by Klaziki » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:03 pm

superjamie wrote:
Sun Oct 21, 2018 10:02 pm
Nice story. It took about 30 minutes to get through.

The writing is good. I was interested in the characters and they both had good growth. I laughed at Alex's pumpkin, that was funny. The last conversation was a nice tug on the heartstrings. Well done telling so much in such a short time.

The art style suits well and is cute. The different rooms and the many small pieces of art like the apples and diary and pumpkins really help fill out the story and set the scene. It's very easy to leave short stories feeling a bit "empty" but you've managed the opposite. Really good work.

To provide something to improve, I found Melanie's mouth to be a bit distracting. I understand the black outline is supposed to show the creases of the mouth, but with the red lips it often looks like she has a moustache! Perhaps you could try just a slightly darker skin tone instead of black lines? Perhaps it needs a different mouth style.

The VN engine was good and worked well. I'm not sure if you write it yourself, but if so then keyboard control would be nice. Perhaps spacebar to advance, or left/right arrow to go forward and back. The story log could start at the bottom (most recent) instead of the top (oldest) but that's a minor problem.

Thanks for this fun little game. I'd give it a 6 (decent) or 7 (good) following the VNDB rating system. A great result for your first VN. Please do keep writing more!
Thank you very much for your feedback! I did actually write the VN engine myself, so I'll try my best to get those features in for my next VN. :)

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