Cassiopeia - A Kinetic Novel (Act 3 is up)

[ghost_of_razgriz]

Heya, Ladies and Gentlemen

Just completed my first game....
Cassiopeia -Act1 Door to Despair
Summary:
A young boy who lived alone as thief, named Juno "Jowie" Oswald has yet to realize, that his life is starting to change when He meets a young girl named Iris Elmore. And without warning, He already involved in A big conspiracy, and no one cannot stop it.
Even one can tell that the world's fate depends on it. And now, He started to walk his own path....


It's a kinetic novel with some choices that doesn't make a big difference (Except some).
Drawn and Wrote by me, and the rest are written in the game's credits.

FYI, my english is VERY VERY HORRIBLE SUCKS so if you find many mistypo, please be patient.

Windows:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/thxae2
Linux:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/gcud0d
Mac:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/v0gzum

The proofreaded ver:
Windows:
http://www.mediafire.com/?2wmay5sb664eh61

Hmmm.... At last!
Act 2
Cassiopeia -Act2 Bloody Concerto
Continuing right after the escape from Hermes, Jowie and co. are still chased by police. As suggested by Smirnove, they went to search for help from Smirnove's friend. But to reach the place where help is waiting, they need to get trough Knights of Templar's barricade. Once again, Jowie's bravery is tested....

It's not proofreaded yet, because of many problems ;_; please endure my horrible typing.
The game is same as before, the choice doesn't make any change, except some. Heck, the second half didn't had any choice ;_; Sorry, I had to focused on the story....

Windows:
http://www.mediafire.com/?yazymy2nyni

Linux:
http://www.mediafire.com/?mxjid4yzmnz

Mac:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ciymtbqggyz

Blargh.
Cassiopeia -Act 3 The Day the Sky Died
A month after the Romanos tragedy, at last Jowie and co. reached Manhattan, the place where Krakenth Burns, one of the Great Alchemist, is waiting. But it's not that simple. Meena, Krakenth's Homunculus was kidnapped. Knowing that, Krakenth gave Jowie the way to another Alchemist, Redmund O'hara--who's been missing since 10 years ago-- to seek help. Can Jowie and co. reach Redmund? Can Meena and Krakenth be saved? Can Jowie cut this chain of despair?

Been proofread (maybe) but there're (always) some horrible typo.
The choices doesn't change the story, but each will give you different information about a character.

Windows:
http://www.mediafire.com/?8wcbj8yr4qr9huo
Linux:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ct5cq4p1zoa9ns8
Mac:
http://www.mediafire.com/?xdunxcko9cjdx09

enjoy.


EDIT:
added the summary and links for Linux and Mac

EDIT 2:
added the links for Proofreaded Windows version.

EDIT 3:
added links (windows) and summary for act 2.

EDIT 4:
Act 2 Linux ver. up

EDIT 5:
Act 2 Mac ver. up

EDIT 6:
Act 2 Windows and Linux reuploaded.

Edit 7:
Act 3 windows up.

Edit 8:
Act 3 linux and mac up.

Edit 9:
Act 1 Proofread ver. reuploaded on Mediafire

[Poketto Kunoichi]

I played this game, and I loved it! The music is nice, and the characters aren't boring or anything. They're all likeable! Your writing is great, hardly any flaws!

The plot sounds very interesting, and I'm looking forward to downloading the other acts. Awesome job!

[ghost_of_razgriz]

@Poketto Kunoichi

thanks for your comment, my friend.
So you think my writing's good? Glad to hear then.

Today the Linux version are complete:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/gcud0d

enjoy

[azureXtwilight]

I love it! I can stand typos and grammar errors since I always make them anyway
I hope you'll finish the second act soon!

[grim_reaper]

This is great!
I'm very sure that this is great. I mean, the story idea is so... uncommon, but it's still great!
About the language... I didn't too care about that, as long as I understand the story
Hope u finish the second soon!

[ghost_of_razgriz]

@azurextwilight & grim_reaper

Thank you for your comments.
My writing is truly terrible isn't it?

I'll work on the second act soon. I think I'll complete it by august.

And for the Mac users....

http://www.sendspace.com/file/v0gzum

enjoy

[V2Blast]

Well, if you need proofreading or something, feel free to PM me. (Note: I haven't actually played it yet, so I dunno how bad it is - or if it's alright )

EDIT: I played it, but forgot which one it was >.< A quick plot summary or discussion of setting or reminder of what it was about? (ideally edited into the first post - which you should also do with the Mac link. Though I do remember that the English was not perfect... ^^;)

[ghost_of_razgriz]

@V2Blast
Okay then, I edited the first post (But I don't think the summary gonna explain much.... I'ts better if you played the game, because I can't explain the story very much... )

So, my writings that bad so you cannot understand the story? I'm sorry then

[madquest8]

@V2Blast
Okay then, I edited the first post (But I don't think the summary gonna explain much.... I'ts better if you played the game, because I can't explain the story very much... )

So, my writings that bad so you cannot understand the story? I'm sorry then

I haven't played it yet, but if the language is a problem, try getting a kindly beta tester to correct any grammar errors

[V2Blast]

I understood the story, I just forgot which one it was because of the other VNs I played. But as madquest8 said, get someone to proofread it before you finalize it.

Now then... The story was an interesting one, and was actually quite intriguing. I liked it.

[ghost_of_razgriz]

I understood the story, I just forgot which one it was because of the other VNs I played. But as madquest8 said, get someone to proofread it before you finalize it.

Now then... The story was an interesting one, and was actually quite intriguing. I liked it.

I'm on search for a proofreader actually.....

Glad you liked it.

[Seiei]

Nice game, the story was interesting

The typos and spelling errors are not a big problem . Looking forward to the rest of the game.

[ghost_of_razgriz]

@seiei
Oooh! Glad you liked it! I thought no one download it anymore

The next is still W.I.P, and it's around 60 %. Please look forward for it.

[KomiTsuku]

*Returning from the dead... It's Editor K. Tsuku!*

I'll be blunt. The first time I downloaded this I barely got into the beginning before the grammar errors convinced me to turn it off. Unlike everyone else, when I see a story that commits genocide of the english language, I end there. Most of those stories tend to end up in my recycle bin. I've been an online editor too long to be very forgiving. Thankfully, your story managed to stick around for another reread and I'm glad it didn't end up with the others.

It had a very rocky beginning. Didn't hook me well. I got a "Same old, same old" feeling. Characters didn't stand out real well and it was starting to remind me of a dozen "boy meets girl" romances I've read. Not really sure at what point things started to flesh out, but I'd estimate around the introduction of Neroid that I began to get interested. That part started to hint that there was more than a typical ren'ai plot in your work. As the story went on, I only got more and more intrigued by backstory and other plot aspects.

Ugh, going into editor rant mode again... Basically, what I'm trying to say is that except for the whole murdering english and grammar/spelling errors every other sentence, it was a thoroughly enjoyable. Even the rough art seemed to fit well and drew me in. There were a few audio pieces that didn't fit well, and I'd recommend [fade in/out] as well, but I normally have my computer's audio either off or turned on something else, so I don't have a strong feel for that aspect.

I can't wait to read the next act. I'm very interested and that is something that very few VNs nowadays have managed to cause. Just... get someone to proofread next time. >.< It drives me crazy... Heck, if you can't find anybody, I might even do it, if I have the time.

[ghost_of_razgriz]

*Returning from the dead... It's Editor K. Tsuku!*

I'll be blunt. The first time I downloaded this I barely got into the beginning before the grammar errors convinced me to turn it off. Unlike everyone else, when I see a story that commits genocide of the english language, I end there. Most of those stories tend to end up in my recycle bin. I've been an online editor too long to be very forgiving. Thankfully, your story managed to stick around for another reread and I'm glad it didn't end up with the others.

It had a very rocky beginning. Didn't hook me well. I got a "Same old, same old" feeling. Characters didn't stand out real well and it was starting to remind me of a dozen "boy meets girl" romances I've read. Not really sure at what point things started to flesh out, but I'd estimate around the introduction of Neroid that I began to get interested. That part started to hint that there was more than a typical ren'ai plot in your work. As the story went on, I only got more and more intrigued by backstory and other plot aspects.

Ugh, going into editor rant mode again... Basically, what I'm trying to say is that except for the whole murdering english and grammar/spelling errors every other sentence, it was a thoroughly enjoyable. Even the rough art seemed to fit well and drew me in. There were a few audio pieces that didn't fit well, and I'd recommend [fade in/out] as well, but I normally have my computer's audio either off or turned on something else, so I don't have a strong feel for that aspect.

I can't wait to read the next act. I'm very interested and that is something that very few VNs nowadays have managed to cause. Just... get someone to proofread next time. >.< It drives me crazy... Heck, if you can't find anybody, I might even do it, if I have the time.

The first blunt comment for me At last someone realized my great skill of mistypo

Yes, many-many thanks for you Editor! That was a good comment. I thought so too, about my writings. It's.... bad.

About the characters.... I'm sorry if my drawings are bad

About musics and such.... I'll try to improve it.

And about the continuation, I'm afraid it will have to wait, because I cannot draw for the time being, and I'm trying to recruit an artist (actually I already agreed with one, but he/she never contacted me again ;_;)
the thread: http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... =16&t=5752

Seems many people liked Neroid's part