Alloys Over Flowers [GxB] [Romance] [Otome] [NaNoRenO2019] [Free]

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Elowan
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Alloys Over Flowers [GxB] [Romance] [Otome] [NaNoRenO2019] [Free]

#1 Post by Elowan » Sat Apr 06, 2019 5:43 am


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STORY

Accountant and sculptor Junia has settled into a small town after accepting that her amnesia cannot be cured. Her life is uprooted when a noble's son attempts to kidnap her from her home, believing she is captive against her will. Shocked to find that his alleged fiancée no longer remembers him, he vows to convince her to return home with him, even if they must forge a relationship from scratch.

Alloys Over Flowers is a visual novel made for NaNoRenO 2019, a month-long game jam themed around the Ren'py game engine.

Click here to download Alloys Over Flowers!


CHARACTERS

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Junia, an amnesiac woman, works to sculpt the grandiose art of her dreams.

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Owen, the son of Viscount Vanderbilt, will stop at nothing to convince his past fiancée to return home with him.

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Marcus, a skilled small-town blacksmith, values nothing more than caring for his bedridden father.


FEATURES

20,560 words
3 endings
1 CG
5 unique character images (42 total character sprites)

Expected playtime: 1 - 1.5 hours.


SCREENSHOTS

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THE TEAM BEHIND THE GAME

Elowan: Writer, programmer
Sxilin: Artist, GUI designer
(Special thanks to Sky and Duck Life!)

Click here to download Alloys Over Flowers!


QUESTIONS FOR PLAYERS WHO WOULD LIKE TO GIVE FEEDBACK

1. How did you enjoy the game overall?

2. What were your favorite and/or least favorite aspects of the game?

3. Who was your favorite character?

_

Thank you very much for your interest! We hope you enjoy our NaNoRenO 2019 project. :-)

_

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Kokoro Hane
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Re: Alloys Over Flowers [GxB] [Romance] [Otome] [NaNoRenO2019] [Free]

#2 Post by Kokoro Hane » Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:50 pm

Hi! I downloaded your game today and just got one of the endings!
The ending I got was:
Leaving with Owen - High Affection
I plan to go back for the other two, but first, some feedback!

1. How did you enjoy the game overall?
I fairly enjoyed it, it was well done for a jam game and very charming! The art was quite good and it was a short, but sweet story I could easily get sucked into.

2. What were your favorite and/or least favorite aspects of the game?
Favorite aspects - I liked how Junia had a fairly likeable personality! Often times with MCs, they can be bland and too blank slate for my taste. I loved how Junia was her own person, which was especially a treat since she had amnesia. She had some really witty dialogue, which I liked.
I also enjoyed---
Owen's honesty. I seriously did not know if I was going to like this jerk, since his want for bringing Junia--er, Lady Emeline--back was simply due to his fear of losing the life he had. Yet at the same time, that is how I came to adore him. I liked how straight he was, wanting Junia to come at her own will despite his desperation, and he didn't hide things from her. He was honest, he let her see everything in her journal--including the torn page--and was willing to accept her final decision, even preparing himself for her to say no. That made him quite attractive despite his rude attitude, to me it showed there was hope for him to become better, and I genuinely felt at the end the two might develop actual feelings for each other as he came to know Junia more than when she was Emeline. Also that kissing CG was adorable.
Least favorite aspects -
I do feel the reveal of her past life wasn't much. Yes, Emeline's life was quite sad, but I guess I expected more. I also feel I expected more from Owen with his ulterior motives, but he laid it out simple and there was nothing more than that. I think I half-expected him to have liked Emeline somewhat before amnesia or something, lol, but it's not a bad thing that wasn't the case as it made the ending more sweet. But I guess I expected more to Emeline's life aside from feeling a sense of rejection, like maybe more how she felt toward Owen originally--then again, they hardly knew each other, so she probably felt no need to even write about him in the first place. I guess what I am getting at is this reveal felt rushed, and it's not so much the contents oh what we learn, it's I feel could've had a more dramatic reveal to reel you in. Otherwise, well done, and I like how Emeline--now Junia--was able to start afresh rather than lose her life, it's a hopeful aspect ^^
3. Who was your favorite character?
Junia!
PROJECTS:
An Encounter ~In The Rain~ [COMPLETE][IntRenAiMo'19]
False Hope [Demo][WiP][SuNoFes'17]
Crystal Captor: Memory Chronicle Finale [COMPLETE][RPG][#1 in So Bad It's Good jam '17]
The Only One Girl [WiP][Up.5/20/2017][1stQ ver. released]
30 Kilowatt Hours Left [COMPLETE][GameJolt GDC Jam2016]

But dear God, You're the only North Star I would follow this far
Owl City "Galaxies"

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Re: Alloys Over Flowers [GxB] [Romance] [Otome] [NaNoRenO2019] [Free]

#3 Post by Elowan » Sun Apr 07, 2019 2:57 am

First of all, thank you for such detailed feedback! Reading it all made me really happy; I'm honored you took the time to write it for us <3
Kokoro Hane wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:50 pm
2. What were your favorite and/or least favorite aspects of the game?
Favorite aspects - I liked how Junia had a fairly likeable personality! Often times with MCs, they can be bland and too blank slate for my taste. I loved how Junia was her own person, which was especially a treat since she had amnesia. She had some really witty dialogue, which I liked.

[...]

3. Who was your favorite character?
Junia!
I'm really glad you liked Junia and felt that she had her own personality!
I wanted to add a little humor into her lines to help prevent the atmosphere from going down a serious/dark path, and I'm happy that that came across well.
Kokoro Hane wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:50 pm
I also enjoyed---
Owen's honesty. I seriously did not know if I was going to like this jerk, since his want for bringing Junia--er, Lady Emeline--back was simply due to his fear of losing the life he had. Yet at the same time, that is how I came to adore him. I liked how straight he was, wanting Junia to come at her own will despite his desperation, and he didn't hide things from her. He was honest, he let her see everything in her journal--including the torn page--and was willing to accept her final decision, even preparing himself for her to say no. That made him quite attractive despite his rude attitude, to me it showed there was hope for him to become better, and I genuinely felt at the end the two might develop actual feelings for each other as he came to know Junia more than when she was Emeline. Also that kissing CG was adorable.
This was pretty much exactly the player reaction I hoped for, and it makes me so happy to hear that you developed this opinion over the course of the game.
In early drafts, the script made beta readers lean towards the "Owen is a huge asshole" side a little too much, so I'm very glad to hear that the final script has shaped more positive impressions of him in most players!
Kokoro Hane wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:50 pm
Least favorite aspects -
I do feel the reveal of her past life wasn't much. Yes, Emeline's life was quite sad, but I guess I expected more. I also feel I expected more from Owen with his ulterior motives, but he laid it out simple and there was nothing more than that. I think I half-expected him to have liked Emeline somewhat before amnesia or something, lol, but it's not a bad thing that wasn't the case as it made the ending more sweet. But I guess I expected more to Emeline's life aside from feeling a sense of rejection, like maybe more how she felt toward Owen originally--then again, they hardly knew each other, so she probably felt no need to even write about him in the first place. I guess what I am getting at is this reveal felt rushed, and it's not so much the contents oh what we learn, it's I feel could've had a more dramatic reveal to reel you in. Otherwise, well done, and I like how Emeline--now Junia--was able to start afresh rather than lose her life, it's a hopeful aspect ^^
Thank you so much for this constructive criticism — it's my favorite part of your review.
It has been incredibly helpful in pinpointing writing mistakes I should avoid. In retrospect, I agree that the narrative built up to Emeline's life more than the rushed reveal justified it. If I could redo this project, I would absolutely change the reveal of Emeline's past. In regards to Emeline's feelings towards Owen, I was unsure how much I wanted Emeline to write about Owen, because I wanted to avoid the impression that Owen was important to her; however, I agree that it would've been good to establish her feelings towards him more. Perhaps with a snippet of an argument they had?

In regards to expecting Owen to have liked Emeline, the game synopsis does imply it! I never considered that he might've secretly liked her a little despite their outwardly unpleasant relationship. However, in retrospect, this is probably the one thing I wouldn't have changed, regardless, among the things you mentioned. A big part of Owen's arc is learning not to maintain the instant judgments he makes of others, and I don't think Owen would've done so during his time with Emeline. (It does make the ending more sweet!)
Again, thank you so much for the detailed feedback! I really appreciate that you took the time to write it out so thoughtfully, and will absolutely take your constructive criticism to heart for my future projects. <3

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Re: Alloys Over Flowers [GxB] [Romance] [Otome] [NaNoRenO2019] [Free]

#4 Post by Kokoro Hane » Sun Apr 07, 2019 8:52 am

Elowan wrote:
Sun Apr 07, 2019 2:57 am
Again, thank you so much for the detailed feedback! I really appreciate that you took the time to write it out so thoughtfully, and will absolutely take your constructive criticism to heart for my future projects. <3
No problem! This was a lovely experience none the less, and I look forward to your future endeavors ^^
PROJECTS:
An Encounter ~In The Rain~ [COMPLETE][IntRenAiMo'19]
False Hope [Demo][WiP][SuNoFes'17]
Crystal Captor: Memory Chronicle Finale [COMPLETE][RPG][#1 in So Bad It's Good jam '17]
The Only One Girl [WiP][Up.5/20/2017][1stQ ver. released]
30 Kilowatt Hours Left [COMPLETE][GameJolt GDC Jam2016]

But dear God, You're the only North Star I would follow this far
Owl City "Galaxies"

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Harumi Fujyoshi
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Re: Alloys Over Flowers [GxB] [Romance] [Otome] [NaNoRenO2019] [Free]

#5 Post by Harumi Fujyoshi » Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:25 am

Hey there! I've been trying to get into the habit of giving more feedback to creators so here I am, with my review of the first NaNoReNo game I played this year.
I initially got
the leave ending with high affection,
and I was pleased with the resolution. I then continued playing to get the other endings.
The low affection ending felt a bit like a simple "bad" ending for picking the wrong choices, but I did really like the tugging heartstrings of the stay with high affection ending, I even feel like it could be a good hook for a sequel if you ever decide to do something like that haha.

1. How did you enjoy the game overall?
I think it was a good NaNoReNo effort! It felt polished and complete, albeit a bit on the short side. I initially thought Marcus was a love interest too but I actually think it was a good idea to keep the focus on Owen.

2. What were your favorite and/or least favorite aspects of the game?
Favourite:
I liked Owen a lot as a character. He definitely is the character type I tend to go for in otome games and when I still thought Marcus was a love interest i was already set on getting Owen's ending haha. I think he was well-balanced in his likable and less likeable character traits, so that I feel that even people who don't like the rude type could probably enjoy him as a love interest, which is important when there's only one option! The scenes between Junia and him also felt like a naturally flowing building of rapport. I could feel the synergy between them and for the short runtime of the game I think the romance progressed realistically.
Least favourite:
Marcus felt very secondary, with the way he was presented initially I really think he should've had more scenes to flesh out Junia and his' relationship. Even some other scenes with townsfolk or people Junia knows would help, because as is there was very little incentive for actually picking the stay option. While we're informed that Junia is attached to the place she lives and the people she knows there, we really don't get to see this for ourselves at all.

I liked the scene where Junia stays over at Owen's place and she reads the diary, but as Kokoro Hane already brought up, the reveal was not as grand as it was built up to be. I felt like it was largely things the player could've already pieced together themselves, so either the build-up with Owen mentioning it but sort of keeping it hidden should be lessened or the reveal should be made slightly more dramatic in some way.

3. Who was your favorite character?
Owen! (and Percival, whose route I would totally play if it existed haha)

Oops, almost forgot to comment on the art! I thought the art style was cute and suited the feel of the game. I liked the expressiveness of the characters. I know it might be a stylistic choice, but I found the white triangles next to the noses to be a bit distracting, especially on Marcus where the contrast with his skin colour was so big. Maybe it could be blended into the sprite a bit better?

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Re: Alloys Over Flowers [GxB] [Romance] [Otome] [NaNoRenO2019] [Free]

#6 Post by Zelan » Thu Aug 01, 2019 8:10 pm

Hi there (: I played this game back in April but wasn't able to leave a review at the time, so I don't remember everything super clearly but I still have a pretty good idea of the impression that game gave me!

1. How did you enjoy the game overall?
I thought it was a sweet story! Otomes aren't always my favorite so I wasn't expecting too much from it, and especially at the beginning when Owen showed up my thoughts were basically "lmao who's this asshole" but he did grow on me by the end of it (so great job writing him!) and the leave/high affection ending was the first one that I got.

2. What were your favorite and/or least favorite aspects of the game?
Favorite:
I really liked how the stay/leave high affection endings were written to display their relationship and what it meant with regards to Junia's decision. The stay/high affection ending was legitimately sad, especially with the gift that Owen gave to Junia.
Harumi Fujyoshi pretty much summed up my least favorite aspect of the game way better than I could have, so I'll just quote it here:
Harumi Fujyoshi wrote:
Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:25 am
Marcus felt very secondary, with the way he was presented initially I really think he should've had more scenes to flesh out Junia and his' relationship. Even some other scenes with townsfolk or people Junia knows would help, because as is there was very little incentive for actually picking the stay option. While we're informed that Junia is attached to the place she lives and the people she knows there, we really don't get to see this for ourselves at all.
3. Who was your favorite character?
Owen, partially because I liked the development of his character and his relationship with Junia, but also partially because the other characters were underdeveloped; it feels to me like Owen and Junia are the only real candidates. (Obviously this is just my personal opinion since other people have in fact given other answers!)

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