Edge of Darkness - Volume 1 [Amateur][Horror][Mystery][Episodic]

[afrikanwizard]

Edge of Darkness - Volume 1: The Old Man

Edge of Darkness: Volume 1 is a short (87,000 words), amateur, experimental, kinetic novel with meaningless choices. The first part in an episodic tale with multiple narratives. Cosmic horror, madness, cultural shock, personal terror and bad humor inspired by the Cthulhu Mythos and Japanese amateur Doujin VNs.

The nature of the story, and what still remains to be told after Volume 1, does not allow for more specifics to be shown here lest...... spoilers.

Edge of Darkness is a VN done using third-party graphics, sounds and music. It is Rated 18+ due to depictions and descriptions sexual situations. Cursing and political-non-correctness abound.

Please give it a try and let the author know what you think. This is the first project of this kind I have ever worked on (and it's a one-person effort). Any feedback or suggestions are welcome.

There's some very explicit graphic language in here. Like both sexual and slurs. It's honestly jarring and a little unsettling. Just a heads-up to anyone who decides to read it.

Update: After this feedback the author decided to edit some of the text and a few scenes to reduce the sexual content and explicit language somewhat. This revised version is numbered 1.1. The original, uncensored, Version 1.0 is still available for download. Future volumes will be written trying to abide to the style of Version 1.1.


Downloads:

Version 1.1 (re-edited) at: itch.io game webpage

Version 1.0 (original) at: google drive



Screenshots

[afrikanwizard]

Thank you very much for your feedback, Nay.

The positive things you had to say make me feel humbled.

I do wish that some of the sprites had faces (like the old man and the provost) but maybe you did that on purpose?

Sort of, I will explain. There are three types of 'faceless' depictions of characters in the VN.

I decided that I wanted a sprite, corner avatar or some visual representation for every character, even the 'extras'.
I tend not to like it when VNs have scenes where the POV character is having a dialogue, sometimes with multiple people, and all you see is an empty room.

By 'extras' I mean (possibly) nameless, tertiary characters who may be present in only one or two scenes out of the several volumes I intend to write, for example: a random passer-by to whom the POV character asks for directions on the street. These characters are represented by silhouettes and in some cases the same silhouette may be 'recycled' for different 'extras'. The Provost character falls under this category.

There are also secondary characters that I didn't have an appropriate sprite for and had to go with silhouettes, like 'Lei Yong' and the 'Female 'Student'. If I obtain appropriate graphics for them I will use them in future volumes.

The last kind is a when one of the major 'mysterious' characters is shown before he or she is 'revealed'. There is a 'Bonus Scene' at the end of the VN where you will understand what I mean by this. The most glaring example of such a character in Volume 1 is the main protagonist, who has no name and no sprite, only an avatar silhouette. He will not be named or 'shown' until I write the volume dedicated to him.

The Old Man is a special case that was, as you said, 'done on purpose'. He was never intended to have a face, and I liked the transparency effect of the silhouette sprite I selected for him.

EDIT: oh ok, there's some very explicit graphic language in here. Like both sexual and slurs. It's honestly jarring and a little unsettling. Just a heads-up to anyone who decides to reads it.

I have to say, those parts were hard to write. On a couple of scenes I had to take an hiatus and work on a different section of the VN because writing that kind of dialogue/situation was getting to me. Believe or not, some of it is based on real-life conversations I've heard while going out at night.

It is supposed to be jarring/unsettling. The VN doesn't deal only with supernatural horror, but also on how horrific normal people can be and what screwed up thoughts and attitudes they may have. Some of the characters simply aren't very good people, or have (deep) personality flaws...... or are borderline insane by normal standards.

That said, I hope I have not gone overboard to the point it makes readers quit. This is one of the aspects of 'Edge of Darkness' where feedback may be most useful. If this facet hinders rather than enhances the story, I can do a 'Version 1.1' where I edit and censor those sections.

I also wish I had not placed so much sexual content on Volume 1, to be honest that is the main 'unsettling' factor I was worried about. But it could not be avoided because of the chronology. All those sexual situations happen around the week that the bulk of the first volume covers.

[afrikanwizard]

foreward: Sorry if the comment seems harsh. I don't mean it to be.

Not at all! This is precisely the kind of feedback authors need.

I have revised the text and changed some scenes for a Version 1.1 I've uploaded, to make it more palatable. I know you said you were only one reader, but your feedback got me thinking I should do some censoring to reduce the chances others being put off and quitting on the VN.


I am feeling I made a bad storytelling choice on the bar scene. It did turn out a bit too long. But the 'banter' isn't just that. Yes, it establishes the four characters (to a varying degree) are creeps with little respect for women or homosexuals, but a lot of what they talked about relates with things and events that will be significant to later parts of the tale (Shin's new woman and his 'shady' connections, the car accident, Gakuto's affairs and places of employment, what Banri saw at school and 'the other thing he's already told them about'). I think the problem is those pieces of information are given in the context of an execrable 'guys night out' chat, and the dialogue had to be extended to include them, as well as the flow of conversation around them. So it may feel like it drags on.

As for the humor at the bar, it isn't supposed to make the reader like or dislike the four. It is just humor. There are other occasions in Volume 1 were I resorted to it, with different characters.

[afrikanwizard]

I will have to download Version 1.1 to see what has changed ^^

Nothing much. It was was just removal of content and replacing some of the harsh words with softer cursing. There's still F-words and the like around, but not nearly as much.

I hope I haven't discouraged you, I really like your VN, and I'll continue to read it and comment on your thread.

Don't worry. I'm working on Volume 2. Lightly for the moment, because real life is getting on the way a bit.

(By the way, I like your Rena icon!)

I had forgotten the name of the original character (not a big Higurashi fan, I'm afraid). That is one of the corner avatars I edited for 'Kanae Sato'. She will be one of the major characters in Volume 3: The Innocents.

[afrikanwizard]

Thank you for the heads up. I think I have sorted the link now. Please let me know.

[afrikanwizard]

I made a page for the VN at itch.io. Future volumes will be uploaded to that site.

[afrikanwizard]

Well, this is embarrassing...


There seems to have been a problem with the download link at the game page at itch.io.

Apparently the download was not working. I was using Google drive to host the game file, and have now changed to Dropbox. I have tested the download link and it
is now working.

If you attempted to download the game recently and were unable to you can now try again.


Sorry about that.

[AwLin24]

Hello! I finished Edge of Darkness yesterday and I really liked it. The plot was interesting, definitely my cup of tea with the whole "Spy and Supernatural Madness" theme. I hope it's not a spoiler.
I loved the way you wrote the characters. Every one of them felt very.. human. The characters were realisticly written.

Some of the scenes did feel kinda dragged out, but I read your comment and I see that it will be relevant later so I can't really criticise you for that, nor I was planning to honestly

This was my first time playing a Doujin VN, and I feel like it really made this whole VN so much better! Kinda felt like I was playing an old Japanese VN. I also learned many things from these VN!

I wish I could've written a better review, but my English isn't that great, so I'm sorry about that All in all I can say that this game is well thought-out. Definitely made me feel uncomfortable during some scenes, which was the goal I'm sure
Thank you for writing such a great VN, and I hope you will continue it