Thank you very much for your feedback, Nay.
The positive things you had to say make me feel humbled.
Nay wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 7:32 pm
I do wish that some of the sprites had faces (like the old man and the provost) but maybe you did that on purpose?
Sort of, I will explain. There are three types of 'faceless' depictions of characters in the VN.
I decided that I wanted a sprite, corner avatar or some visual representation for every character, even the 'extras'.
I tend not to like it when VNs have scenes where the POV character is having a dialogue, sometimes with multiple people, and all you see is an empty room.
By 'extras' I mean (possibly) nameless, tertiary characters who may be present in only one or two scenes out of the several volumes I intend to write, for example: a random passer-by to whom the POV character asks for directions on the street. These characters are represented by silhouettes and in some cases the same silhouette may be 'recycled' for different 'extras'. The Provost character falls under this category.
There are also secondary characters that I didn't have an appropriate sprite for and had to go with silhouettes, like 'Lei Yong' and the 'Female 'Student'. If I obtain appropriate graphics for them I will use them in future volumes.
The last kind is a when one of the major 'mysterious' characters is shown before he or she is 'revealed'. There is a 'Bonus Scene' at the end of the VN where you will understand what I mean by this. The most glaring example of such a character in Volume 1 is the main protagonist, who has no name and no sprite, only an avatar silhouette. He will not be named or 'shown' until I write the volume dedicated to him.
The Old Man is a special case that was, as you said, 'done on purpose'. He was never intended to have a face, and I liked the transparency effect of the silhouette sprite I selected for him.
Nay wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 7:32 pm
EDIT: oh ok, there's some very explicit graphic language in here. Like both sexual and slurs. It's honestly jarring and a little unsettling. Just a heads-up to anyone who decides to reads it.
I have to say, those parts were
hard to write. On a couple of scenes I had to take an hiatus and work on a different section of the VN because writing that kind of dialogue/situation was getting to me. Believe or not, some of it is based on real-life conversations I've heard while going out at night.
It is supposed to be jarring/unsettling. The VN doesn't deal only with supernatural horror, but also on how horrific normal people can be and what screwed up thoughts and attitudes they may have. Some of the characters simply aren't very good people, or have (deep) personality flaws...... or are borderline insane by normal standards.
That said, I hope I have not gone overboard to the point it makes readers quit.
This is one of the aspects of 'Edge of Darkness' where feedback may be most useful. If this facet hinders rather than enhances the story, I can do a 'Version 1.1' where I edit and censor those sections.
I also wish I had not placed so much sexual content on Volume 1, to be honest that is the main 'unsettling' factor I was worried about. But it could not be avoided because of the chronology. All those sexual situations happen around the week that the bulk of the first volume covers.
