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 Post subject: [GxB] Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Fri May 14, 2010 6:42 pm 
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Location: Michigan, USA
Completed: Mail Order Bride
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Well, this is my first attempt at a making a game, just to convince myself that I could do it. Because programming scares me.

It's more or less a test game, to be honest. I basically beasted it out over the course of two days, and eventually got sick of it, so I just decided to release it and get the story out of my system. It's a super-cheesy, saccharine-sweet period romance, and the endings are a little abrupt (like I said, I got sick of it...and I really need to learn to write romance scenes...). But I hope someone can overlook its flaws and enjoy it anyway...despite the occasional historical inaccuracy. :)

"Mail Order Bride" is a short GxB story set in the American West during the 1860s. (Keep in mind that "West" at the time referred to anything beyond the Mississippi). You play the titular character, Temperance Adams, a young Bostonian schoolteacher who has decided to move West and marry a man she has never met, but only spoken with through postal communication. However, when she arrives, she discovers she has to deal with a set of totally unforeseen circumstances...what will she do?

The game is short, less than 10k words, and only features one "obtainable" guy, and really only two characters total. Just as a warning, there's a bit of an info-dump at the beginning of the game about the history of mail order brides during western migration and Manifest Destiny; it was actually a very common practice. (Sorry, if you're not interested in that. >.<) So that no one has any misconceptions about this, I'll say right now that it's not "Oregon Trail." Sorry; I love "Oregon Trail" too.

There are three possible endings. I tried to make the "good" ending not too frustratingly difficult to get, but I worry I might have made it too easy. The other thing I worry about is the menu choices being too cryptic. Ugh...the story itself is a little underdeveloped and uses some badly written devices (man, I'm really selling this thing, aren't I?). Maybe I'll make an extended version someday, with some American Indian characters, which is something I cut out from this story.

As for the distributions...I've only had a chance to test the Windows version, and it works fine on my computer. I don't know about Mac and Linux...but if you run into problems with any version of the game, please let me know and I will try to fix them as soon as possible. Also, if you catch any grammatical errors or typos (and I'm sure there are many, despite proofreading) please let me know about that also. Thanks for playing, and even if you don't like the game, maybe you'll learn something. :)

Screenshots:


Attachments:
File comment: No character sprites, only side images.
screen2.JPG
screen2.JPG [ 182.4 KiB | Viewed 39660 times ]
File comment: A lot of the game is in NVL format.
sceen1.JPG
sceen1.JPG [ 128.01 KiB | Viewed 39660 times ]
File comment: Linux
Mail Order Bride-linux-x86.tar.bz2 [8.88 MiB]
Downloaded 438 times
File comment: Mac
Mail Order Bride-mac.zip [12.64 MiB]
Downloaded 612 times
File comment: Windows
Mail Order Bride-win32.zip [9.51 MiB]
Downloaded 4491 times

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Current Project: Untitled GxB Game, Untitled NaNoRenO 2011
Completed Projects: Mail Order Bride


Last edited by IonicMomo on Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Fri May 14, 2010 7:13 pm 
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Location: Phoenix
This looks fun and interesting! I'll check it out this weekend! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 5:07 am 
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It was charming and sweet little game, even though it was short =D Nice work here.

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:43 pm 
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The game looks nice...;)


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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 8:45 pm 
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FREE BIRD!!! *holds up lighter*
hehe, i did the same thing. just had to get one under the belt as a test.

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 9:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:30 am
Posts: 155
Location: Michigan, USA
Completed: Mail Order Bride
Projects: Untitled GxB game
unknown5 wrote:
FREE BIRD!!! *holds up lighter*

I'm happy someone recognized it! (I was so excited when I found a banjo version. :lol:)

Victoria wrote:
It was charming and sweet little game, even though it was short =D Nice work here.

Thanks! The pacing was very rushed, but I'm glad you liked it overall.

I look forward to hearing what the rest of you think.

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 9:23 pm 
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Location: Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
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Projects: Re:Set, Morpheandir Tales, The Alliance, Althernis Precasted
Organization: Memento-Mori VNs, Team Sleepyhead
It's short, but cute! I enjoyed it as a weekend game. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sat May 15, 2010 10:23 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:18 pm
Posts: 24
Location: Florida, USA
This is actually pretty good! Very cute and entertaining. And here I thought I wouldn't like it too much because I've never been a big fan of American history. Always thought it was so boring. XD;;

But I really like this. Both characters were likeable. =) Art has its own charm to it that I found growing on me. A nice, simplistic charm~

I like the music, too. There was really only one time it bothered me and that was when
Nathaniel and Temperance get serious in conversation--like when Nathaniel talks about the war making him hard and jaded. Or about losing the ones he's loved.
The music would feel too upbeat for that for me. Just a little nitpickiness on my part. XD; I think there may have been...two tracks throughout the whole novel? Of course, it's not a long story. But since it doesn't vary too much in mood it was hard for me to discern the difference.

One typo I caught, though:
When Temperance talks about her and Nathaniel skating on the ice during the winter is says that Nathaniel says "I'm doing to die!" instead of "I'm going to die!"


Only got endings 1 and 3. Trying to get 2. Hehe.

Thanks for making this! ^^

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 11:22 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:30 am
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Location: Michigan, USA
Completed: Mail Order Bride
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Yay! I'm glad you guys thought it was cute...that's what I was going for. ;)

Catoni, I completely agree with you about the music. There definitely needed to be two tracks...I think I was trying to keep the file size small, which seems really silly now. Also, thanks for catching the typo. (And I'm with you on the history thing, for the most part, but for some reason I love period drama. xD)

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 4:14 pm 
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Location: Deutschland
Completed: Der Totengräber, There is always a Choice
Projects: Ultimate Yandere Simulator, The Comic Strip "Nami Otaku", Koenchu (German version)
I haven't played the game yet or anything, but is it something like this? http://youmaker.com/video/sv?id=4dacf66 ... 0143847001

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 5:26 pm 
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Der Tor wrote:
http://youmaker.com/video/sv?id=4dacf663c7be42f3bc30e46150143847001


Hurray to Great Depression...


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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 7:23 am 
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KISSY CG!! <3

I agree that Nathaniel was adorable. I would say the "Freebird" banjo-interpretation was distracting, but the distraction was me humming along, so it's not necessarily a bad thing. =P The music seemed to go along with the story for a while, but when it started looping, and the real length of the game revealed itself, I agree that another music track would've been really advantageous. Got ending 1 of 3, and it seemed like a great ending, so I didn't do so bad on my first run. Yay! Also, I'm a fan of first-person, past-tense. <3

On a programmer's note, I love the way you did opening/end titles. Very aesthetically pleasing against the cabin BG. The transition between NVL and regular-whatever-its-called-mode was clever and affective, if jolting at first. There were a few times when I think you should've cleared the NVL screen, like when you cut to dialogue, but I guess that's a stylistic choice. The line-by-line delivery didn't annoy me past the opening letter from Sam. Maybe I'm just used to see letters all just layed out there for me, like in real life.

So, not bad for your first VN. I expect to see great things from your future games! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 6:07 pm 
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Projects: World Academy, Galaxy Angel: A New Dawn
I've currently only gotten the third ending, but I loved the story. It was so cute.

not sad one bit when Samuel died though for some reason... *heartless perhaps?* Probably just unattached since we didn't know him well.


However, it made me sad when
you leave Nathaniel behind because I'd already grown so attached to him. I wasn't nearly as attached to Tempe. Nathaniel was just so adorable and well developed. A little more development on Tempe's actual interests perhaps would have helped. All I good figure out was that she was an outspoken school teacher-type. She seemed sweet enough though.


Overall, I give this game two-thumbs up!

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 6:49 pm 
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Location: Michigan, USA
Completed: Mail Order Bride
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Thanks for the constructive criticism, guys. :)

You're right in that
Tempe has less character development than Nathaniel (admittedly, neither develops much at all). I originally intended the game to be about her...but at some point it ended up being about him, probably because I just liked him better. I guess I don't have as much control over my characters as I thought. :lol:

And don't worry about not having any emotional attachment to Samuel; it doesn't make you heartless :). Tempe was attached to him, but you (the player) had no reason to be. He was more a faceless plot device than anything (sorry, Samuel!).


I tend to use both NVL and ADV modes heavily (and transition between them) because the player character typically has a lot of internal monologue. Sadly, it doesn't seem to add much personality to the narrator. xD But yeah, that's one thing to work on. And I'll work on the transitions too, i.e. clearing after conversations, since that was something I was iffy about when writing the game.

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 Post subject: Re: Mail Order Bride
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 2:05 am 
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Location: France :D
This game was sweet, I liked the historical aspect and how you explain the situation. I mean, I learnt something x')
Plus Nath was adorable, the way he changes is cute !

The first end was my fav', I just like when guys are chasing after me 8-)
Concerning your art, it was charming and when I saw the CG I was just like "Oooow !!! I want another kiss scene!!!!"

All in all, just keep on making Vn ;p


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