Stalemate

Finished games are posted here, once they've been tested and are ready for wide release.
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Fawn
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Re: Stalemate

#31 Post by Fawn » Sun Nov 14, 2010 2:00 pm

tkhnoman wrote:
sn0w255 wrote:0.0 Oh! YES!!!!! Definitely looking forward to this! I'm rooting for you~! ^.^


Uh.. I'm sorry, but i decided to drop this old project.


D: That's kind of sad... I really liked this VN too and it'd be so nice if it got completely finished. Do you need help with anything? It's such a great idea, you really shouldn't just drop it, unless you just don't have time for it anymore...

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tkhnoman
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Re: Stalemate

#32 Post by tkhnoman » Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:27 am

Fawn wrote:
tkhnoman wrote:
sn0w255 wrote:0.0 Oh! YES!!!!! Definitely looking forward to this! I'm rooting for you~! ^.^


Uh.. I'm sorry, but i decided to drop this old project.


D: That's kind of sad... I really liked this VN too and it'd be so nice if it got completely finished. Do you need help with anything? It's such a great idea, you really shouldn't just drop it, unless you just don't have time for it anymore...

Um, i can't find a person who willing to help me out with the music and sounds. That's actually why i decided to stop at this point.

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Re: Stalemate

#33 Post by Fawn » Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:22 pm

tkhnoman wrote:Um, i can't find a person who willing to help me out with the music and sounds. That's actually why i decided to stop at this point.



It's super easy to find music actually (I'm a music hunter myself lol) I can get a TON of music and sound effects for your game, all royalty free and free to use :)
Actually this album would probably work quite nicely for your game: http://www.jamendo.com/en/album/44844 it's very whimsical. But there's tons of other sountracks for use on Jamendo, and possibly some good themsongs. As for sound effects there's many sites for them too, such as http://www.soundjay.com/ and many many others :D

If it's problems with sounds loading in your game, it might be because of the quality of the sound. I had some loops I wanted to use in an old project, but they didn't work because they were too low quality for Ren'py to read. However the links I've provided should definitely be quality enough for use in ren'py.

If you need any other help feel free to ask me, I can do graphics and even a video for your project if you like. I really like this project so I'd like to help you finish it any way I can :)

Ren

Re: Stalemate

#34 Post by Ren » Fri Nov 19, 2010 8:13 pm

First off, a few errors I spotted:

I never asked her to go out with me.
What I said out of the blue was just 'What would happen if I became your girlfriend?'

(Luft narrating - should it say "boyfriend", or is it a hint for the ending?)

It's always so random. I can't say an exact time. (there's a space after the period which makes the quotation mark go down on the next line)

2031, but the exact day isn't writen. (missing t)

Yeah. I felt like I could do everything on my own, so I wanted to do whatever I liked, without thinking at that promise from before. ("at" shoud be "about")

If Ele does that, that means Ele's story is going to dissapear from this world, right? (missing p and excessive s)



I found that the idea was interesting, but I thought the way the story itself could have been narrated better. I found myself wondering when some of the sections of dialogue would have finally ended and let the story progress, which is not a good sign.

What I would have liked would have been if you had more foreshadowing of some elements: it would have been good to play with how stereotyped (and thus not real, as if they came out of a story) some things seem to be to start giving hints that would have pointed to the revelation in the end without giving it away.
As it was, it seemed to me that you just went on very slowly in the first part of the story - which I would have frankly cut quite a lot. All the dialogues between the characters didn't seem to really help them develop and ended up just being hard to go through. I didn't feel like there was any hook to keep my attention alive there because you didn't foreshadow or introduce any element which could grab my attention. When you finally introduced the twist with the Bohemian who doesn't want to attack humans and knows of another writer, on the other hand, you burn it in a very short time without giving the time to think about it or start making conjectures about it and ended the story very fast.


I essentially thought that the whole story mainly had a big problem of pace and this made it less interesting than it could have been, considering the interesting idea.


I did appreciate the customisation of the interface and some of the art - I wasn't so fond of the way in which you coloured the hair most of the time (save maybe for ???), especially Clare's hair; but I really liked how you shaded the shirts. I also liked how you paid attention to the design of the girls' shirts. The backgrounds were quite nice, too, and it was good to see some of the scenes in CG form, with some interesting and hard to draw perspectives - they weren't perfect, but I really appreciate when an artist tries things which aren't the easiest.



All in all, I don't think I will manage to play it more than once, mostly due to the pacing and execution of the idea, but I look forward to other to seeing what you will come up with the future, and with more practice.

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tkhnoman
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Re: Stalemate

#35 Post by tkhnoman » Fri Nov 19, 2010 8:30 pm

Fawn wrote:If you need any other help feel free to ask me, I can do graphics and even a video for your project if you like. I really like this project so I'd like to help you finish it any way I can :)

Another problem is.... I already start another project-things(but not a VN game). :lol:

What about this..
Have you played this game? If yes, then can you decide for me what music is best for what scene.
I will then add them to the game, but if you also want to add them by yourself, feel free to do so.
(You can just upload the script & music, so it will work like a patch, but i will update all the links by myself)

You also, can add any other thing you want for this project. It is open for any change :D :D

@Ren:
The first error, is not an error. But the other is a yes.
Well, Engrish is my main problem. That's why i still need another person to edit it.
And shame on me, actually the story is much-much more longer than this. I just cut must of them, since i work on all of them... feel tired in the middle.

And like i said before, it's open for any change. Anybody can even prolong the story. :oops:

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Re: Stalemate

#36 Post by Fawn » Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:13 pm

tkhnoman wrote:
Fawn wrote:If you need any other help feel free to ask me, I can do graphics and even a video for your project if you like. I really like this project so I'd like to help you finish it any way I can :)

Another problem is.... I already start another project-things(but not a VN game). :lol:

What about this..
Have you played this game? If yes, then can you decide for me what music is best for what scene.
I will then add them to the game, but if you also want to add them by yourself, feel free to do so.
(You can just upload the script & music, so it will work like a patch, but i will update all the links by myself)

You also, can add any other thing you want for this project. It is open for any change :D :D

@Ren:
The first error, is not an error. But the other is a yes.
Well, Engrish is my main problem. That's why i still need another person to edit it.
And shame on me, actually the story is much-much more longer than this. I just cut must of them, since i work on all of them... feel tired in the middle.

And like i said before, it's open for any change. Anybody can even prolong the story. :oops:


I think it's really good for a first Vn. And what's your new project? :) I'd like to see that too!

I would totally accept, but alas I'm almost too busy to finish my own game LOL. They are quite time consuming.

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tkhnoman
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Re: Stalemate

#37 Post by tkhnoman » Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:31 am

Oho. Yep, i know that it is very time consuming. But never give up. At least 'finish it' :D

About our project. It is still in progress, but i can say that it is a flash game.

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Kanari
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Re: Stalemate

#38 Post by Kanari » Wed Dec 01, 2010 6:30 am

I know I'm a girl and all, but I love this. xD

Deniz
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Re: Stalemate

#39 Post by Deniz » Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:31 am

I want to read this one.Can anyone reupload please?

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indoneko
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Re: Stalemate

#40 Post by indoneko » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:03 am

Deniz wrote:I want to read this one.Can anyone reupload please?
Instead of just a re-upload, perhaps we could take over this project and re-release it?
The author seems okay with it :
And like i said before, it's open for any change. Anybody can even prolong the story. :oops:
EDIT :

Here's the file. I only have the old, windows version of Stalemate. The author had included the original script & assets inside, so you could also re-build it yourself.
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Stalemate-0.90.rar
windows version, about 32 MB++
(31.43 MiB) Downloaded 25 times
My avatar is courtesy of Mellanthe

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