Painted Walls -- Horror

[fortaat]

The characters have no "Depth" because they are never explained. But that's fine, we're seeing every character from the perspective of a very little girl, who is quite crazy. Her mother could be the most loving mother ever, the father, a saint. How are we to know?

Even if that's the daughter's interpretation of the mother, it makes for a shallow and boring character. The reader has no reason to care for her.

This goes for the father as well.

The main character never bothers to explain much about herself, she seems to already know.

That's one of the trickiest parts of writing stream of consciousness. It's very hard to explain things the narrator already know. The writer easy way out would have been the conversations between MC and the walls. He/she didn't use it, or any other.

There is quite a lot of unknown, never quite telling you much is exactly what a horror novel, and game is supposed to do. I never knew quite what was going on, until it was far too late and I saw a knife. It makes it all quite...Scary =).

There's a difference between not telling you about why the walls are talking (is it a demon? Black magic?), and not telling you about the characters. The former is fine, while the latter prevents the reader from getting emotionally involved.
Won't knowing that the baby is loved by his mother, make his death scarier? What's more scary, the death of a friend, or the death of a random guy in some far away country?


It's possible to scare people without a story, using only images and music, maybe that's the case here for other people.
Did you care for any of the characters? Did you have that "OMG don't do it man!" moment, or did you accept it all as spooky facts?

The main ingredient within horror is that the reader or viewer can relate to it somehow and that there's always something unexpected on its way.

I believe the VN would have been much better if the reader would have cared for the characters, and for that to happen, he has to know them to a greater length.

[Topagae]

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[fortaat]

I guess maybe I saw a little too bit of myself in the girl. I cared for her without a huge back story and description, because maybe that's how I am.

I'm not saying the story isn't scary to certain individuals, who for personal reasons identify with the characters.
The problem is that I'm a most manly man, and to identify with a wee girl, I need the author to do his job, and write a round character.

Stories like this can often be more of a reflection of yourself, then the game. Something I also think is quite hard to do, and exemplary.

Is the story really universal?
Does it help that the characters are shallow?

Even if one answers Yes to the first question, do you believe it's a Yes for the second as well?

[Topagae]

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[fortaat]

It does help the characters are shallow. The essence of mystery and horror is the unknown.

I think you're mistaken here.
The unknown is scary, but not when it's the characters. It's scary when it's something we can't explain (ghosts, vampires), or when you feel there's a danger lurking in the dark (Hitchcock films).
Shallow characters help in stories where you want the readers to have a blank slate to mirror their feelings (children books), or to emphasize a universal theme (Kafka). Fear of the unknown has nothing to do with shallow characters.

In most cases, shallow characters cripple the reader's ability to identify with the story (Kafka again).

If you got a complete biography on all these characters disseminated into the game, it wouldn't be nearly as effective.

I didn't suggest to add more than 1500 words.

Baby:

Did his mother love him, did he play with his sister? did anyone care about him?

Mother:

Is she concerned about her daughter? what kind of parent she is, has she even considered her educational methods?

The girl:

The walls' conversations with her could have been used to elaborate on her character.

[HumbertTheHorse]

I disagree about Kafka's characters being shallow. Having no name does not equate to shallowness. His main characters draw plenty of empathy from me or else I wouldn't like his works. And I like his works. I like them very much.

Anyway, you mean undeveloped characters. Shallow or superficial characters are developed, just no likable.

[papillon]

At one choice, the outcomes appear to be the opposite of the choice that was actually selected. Is this intentional? (You can never tell with arty games! )

(having first blamed the walls, the prick/tell choices appear to return the wrong paths, unless I have a old copy which I might...)

Other than that it was cool, though I would have preferred the title screen to match the ingame art. I think the stuttering conversation style worked fine. It would have been irritating to keep clicking that much in a longer game but for a shorter one it's all right, and the meandering thought patterns were suitable for someone young and not all there.

[Topagae]

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[fortaat]

I disagree about Kafka's characters being shallow. Having no name does not equate to shallowness. His main characters draw plenty of empathy from me or else I wouldn't like his works. And I like his works. I like them very much.

Anyway, you mean undeveloped characters. Shallow or superficial characters are developed, just no likable.

I agree undeveloped is a better term, though in regard to the story in question, both are almost synonymous.

Oh I dunno, I think it was quite powerful that facts about others were not revealed, simply because the person we're viewing from (The girl) wouldn't know. And perhaps not even care.

As powerful as it may be, it doesn't excuse the underdeveloped MC.
It was a way to characterize the narrator, as to why it's a bad choice, I explained in the previous posts.

[Topagae]

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[fortaat]

heh, guess I just didn't notice. The problems, not your posts explaining them.

No, you mustn't agree!
We must argue for at least another four pages!


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Fortaat, self reflecting if he doesn't have something more important to do.

[Topagae]

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[iskander]

Very nice art and sound. Me likes it. It really plays well with the subject (childish point of view), and is full of emotion (as the child is).

Got the blue ending (seems popular), so will comment the rest based on that. In form, the text is very good, the girl's voice is well built and believable. The story is also solid, everything is explained and grounded, and the reader is kept on his toes.

The whole VN is very solid, the only problem for me was the predictability of the development:

I know it's supposed to be horror, but one really needed to go the knife's way, like a gazillion horror movies? There are so many ways in which a sick girl could give us the shivers, chopping things up is a bit overused. I would have liked something less obvious but more disturbing. Don't ask me what, I have not thought about it, but using a knife seemed to me a shortcut.

This being said, this point is minor, and I really enjoyed the VN. Thanks for sharing!

[Topagae]

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[Alex]

Pretty scary...
I like the Art style and music - they made the atmosphere of insane.
But commas... they should be in text to read it right.
As for story - I think, that it is posible to make a novel in three books from any simple story. Like, if it would be told why parents wished to have the second baby, how it was hard for mom to have two small children, how father have had to work hard to keep the family, how lack of attention led the girl to mental problems... maybe some other social and relationship problems, and as result - the tragedy. But it wouldn't be a horror story.
This story might not deep, but it told enought to understand - that girl is not in a "good" mental condition, and it's not so hard to imagin why so. And the things, girl made - they are realy awful and sad.

Repeated information - she talks to the walls, And she paints on them. I would also like to remind you that she talks to the walls, And she paints on them.

I'm not an expert, but as far as I know, children repeats the things they talk most of the time, so does people with mental disorder. So, on my tast, it fits the story. So, on my tast it fits the story.