Secret Santa

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EternalDream
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Secret Santa

#1 Post by EternalDream » Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:17 pm

Hey guys, sorry I'm a little late on posting this but I finally finished testing my game so now it's released! Just a few things I need to say beforehand:

This is my first VN so the pacing is done... really badly (I just realized it after I finished) and the drawings are... <.<;; But anyways, I'm just here to warn you that lots of things may be... newby lol. With this, I experimented with some things I could do with Ren'Py and practiced on my colouring skills (Which is kind of evident throughout the game...)

It's about a girl who's school is doing a Secret Santa and she picks the name of her crush, Haruta. Through the game, you have to try to find out what he wants for Christmas and the gift you chose to give him in the end affects your ending.

It's like... a 5 minute game. Aside from pacing of the story, weird colouring/consistency of spirit pictures, I would like you to give me feedback on it.

Walkthrough can be found at:
http://edreamland.blogspot.com/2011/01/ ... rough.html

Screenshot:
Attachments
Secret Santa-linux-x86.tar.bz2
(22.3 MiB) Downloaded 149 times
Secret Santa-mac.zip
(26.44 MiB) Downloaded 254 times
Secret Santa V1.5-win32.zip
(23 MiB) Downloaded 1766 times
Screenshot1.jpg
Screenshot2.jpg
Last edited by EternalDream on Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:02 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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Aashtarsrain
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Re: Secret Santa

#2 Post by Aashtarsrain » Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:44 pm

:) Funny and strangely addictive. Nice music too. The blue and green sentences are hard to read on the pink window.
I had a problem after getting my first hint regarding the gift :
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

NameError: name 'friends' is not defined

While running game code:
- script at line 221 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy
- python at line 235 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

File "C:\Users\\Downloads\Secret Santa-win32\Secret Santa-win32\renpy\bootstrap.py", line 270, in bootstrap
File "C:\Users\\Downloads\Secret Santa-win32\Secret Santa-win32\renpy\main.py", line 310, in main
File "C:\Users\\Downloads\Secret Santa-win32\Secret Santa-win32\renpy\main.py", line 93, in run
File "C:\Users\\Downloads\Secret Santa-win32\Secret Santa-win32\renpy\execution.py", line 259, in run
File "C:\Users\\Downloads\Secret Santa-win32\Secret Santa-win32\renpy\ast.py", line 1133, in execute
File "C:\Users\\Downloads\Secret Santa-win32\Secret Santa-win32\renpy\exports.py", line 371, in menu
File "C:\Users\\Downloads\Secret Santa-win32\Secret Santa-win32\renpy\python.py", line 994, in py_eval
File "D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy", line 235, in <module>
NameError: name 'friends' is not defined

While running game code:
- script at line 221 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy
- python at line 235 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy.

Ren'Py Version: Ren'Py 6.11.2b

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Re: Secret Santa

#3 Post by SusanTheCat » Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:30 pm

As my mother says: "Done is better than perfect."

Downloading the game now.

Susan
" It's not at all important to get it right the first time. It's vitally important to get it right the last time. "
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Arithra
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Re: Secret Santa

#4 Post by Arithra » Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:03 pm

First of all I love your spirits. They are very well done, and if you show only the face it' really cool, it gives the game a good feeling.
Please visit my projects Perios- Chained Sorceress
and Final Banquet now with demo!

And my blog for more updates!

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VenusEclipse
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Re: Secret Santa

#5 Post by VenusEclipse » Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:05 pm

It's a fun game. Sol's expressions are adorable, lol. I love the one where his hands are clapped together. :D
If you upload a new version, it'll help if some of the light texts are darker, especially the teacher's green text.
It'll be easier on the eyes. :D

I get four choices of gifts to give to Haruto in the end. It didn't really "end well" with each gift. If I do different things, do different gift options pop up at the end of the game? Perhaps it might be different if I could go through the game that had the errors (the same errors Aashtarsrain got).

Overall, I enjoyed your game. There's some sort of charm that hooked me regardless of the ending I got. ^.^

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Re: Secret Santa

#6 Post by semewelamb » Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:47 pm

I also had a hard time reading the green text on the pink window. Maybe the text could have been darker or the pink window a lighter shade. I loved the "best" ending. It was a very cute game.

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Re: Secret Santa

#7 Post by IonicMomo » Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:05 pm

Super cute game! I had to play through it three to get the "good" ending (got one of the "bad" endings first, and the aforementioned error the second time). I actually really liked the sprites...the colors were kind of soft and pleasing to the eye, and it looks like your coloring improved as you were making the game, because the (I assume) newer sprites looked better than the older ones. The close-up shots were nice too.

I have to agree with the poster above that the greenish font was difficult to read against the pink textbox. Also, some of the names/text should be lowered so they don't get cut off by the edge of the textbox.

There were some grammatical errors, and the writing was awkward and rushed in a few places, but not enough to put me off. It would be nice if you got your game proofread for future releases. Also, there were areas where you used "ok" instead of "okay" and inserted tildes (or whatever these "~" are called), etc. It might have made the text cuter, but I think it took a little away from professionalism. But overall, the writing was fine, and there were some good one-liners and funny exchanges in there.

I had a couple of problems with the premise. Obviously a school-wide Secret Santa is implausible, but I can accept that for now. But why is the (nameless) main character the only one that seems interested in it? Maybe I haven't played through all of the pathways properly yet, so I can't comment, but it seems like no one else is interested in their own secret Santa. For example, we never find out who the MC's Santa is--not that we need to, but it seems a little jarring that this entire plot thread only applied to the MC. None of the other characters seemed to make a fuss about their Santa or gift receivers either.

I think one of the main reasons the pacing is hard to swallow is that we start assuming that the MC and Haruta don't know each other, even though he and her brother are best friends. I suppose it's possible that they wouldn't have met...but I've definitely met all of my brother's best friends, so it's a little weird that they haven't. This also makes it hard to believe that they would become such fast friends and, eventually, boyfriend/girlfriend. However, if they knew each other from the beginning, maybe not well, but well enough, it might be easier to believe that such a relationship could arise so quickly.

Also, when it came to choosing the song to perform, I think cultural barriers might confuse people a little. I'd only heard of two of the three songs, so I was more naturally inclined to pick one of those two.

I was not a huge fan of the music, and I muted it while I played, so I can't really comment on that.

But overall, great job on your first game! (It was MUCH better than my first and only game anyway.) I liked that you had all the game buttons along the side of the textbox. I thought the art was cute and well done, the pastel colors were pretty, and the seasonal story made me feel warm and happy inside. The way you presented the good ending was very nice. And I agree, there was something very charming about it that kept me playing. I hope I didn't sound too critical, because I really did enjoy it (or I wouldn't have taken the time to write all this) and I hope to see more from you! :)
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EternalDream
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Re: Secret Santa

#8 Post by EternalDream » Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:04 pm

Shoot, I thought I fixed that error T_T Guess it's coming back to haunt me (I'll try my best to fix it and upload a new version). And yes, some things are quite awkward and rushed because I did try to finish it before Christmas (which caused me to not proofread as much). I can't do it now since I'm not on my own comp but I'll do it tomorrow and I'll fix the text colour problems too... (and try to make it a bit better by changing certain parts of the script I guess?) :D

@ IonicMomo: No, I like critical stuff XD You're right... I did kind of not make it seem believable. But on one hand I did include that Nami (the best friend) didn't know who she had (only knew the name) and that was about it. Sorry, I will prolong the story in the new version (maybe) if I can. And I debated a little about whether the MC knew Haruta from the start but I decided against it because... idk, Sol doesn't seem like the type of person who brings home friends and introduces them? (lol I know my reply is kind of stupid ;D)

Overall, thank you for your replies guys! I will try to make it better and release the new version by Wednesday. One of my tester (my best friend) did lecture me on my grammar problems but I was too lazy to proofread it lol Guess it shows :oops: Learned my lesson: From now on to always read over the script to see if it makes sense :mrgreen:

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Re: Secret Santa

#9 Post by machinist » Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:04 am

i've been gettin same error as above many times

i guess i'll wait for fixed version soon, can't wait to see some good endings haha

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Re: Secret Santa

#10 Post by salis » Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:11 pm

Secret Santa is an adorable game, and I’m having so much fun playing it! You’ve done a wonderful job for your first visual novel. It's lighthearted and uplifting, and perfect for this holiday season.

Unfortunately, I've received the same error message as the others, so I haven't been able to complete Secret Santa yet. However, I'm really looking forward to playing it and giving you a full review!
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Re: Secret Santa

#11 Post by PsychoticallyAngelic » Thu Dec 30, 2010 5:02 am

I got this error, too.
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

NameError: name 'friends' is not defined

While running game code:
- script at line 221 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy
- python at line 235 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

File "D:\renpy-6.11.2\renpy\bootstrap.py", line 270, in bootstrap
File "D:\renpy-6.11.2\renpy\main.py", line 310, in main
File "D:\renpy-6.11.2\renpy\main.py", line 93, in run
File "D:\renpy-6.11.2\renpy\execution.py", line 259, in run
File "D:\renpy-6.11.2\renpy\ast.py", line 1133, in execute
File "D:\renpy-6.11.2\renpy\exports.py", line 371, in menu
File "D:\renpy-6.11.2\renpy\python.py", line 994, in py_eval
File "D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy", line 235, in <module>
NameError: name 'friends' is not defined

While running game code:
- script at line 221 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy
- python at line 235 of D:\My Documents\Downloads\Secret Santa/game/day2.rpy.

Ren'Py Version: Ren'Py 6.11.2b

But from what I see from the other posts, the others don't seem to have a problem with the game...

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Victoria
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Re: Secret Santa

#12 Post by Victoria » Thu Dec 30, 2010 9:18 am

I had a problem too, so I'm waiting for the second version without errors. But from what I've seen so far, I think I'm going to like this game. It's light and funny and great for this time of year ^^
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Re: Secret Santa

#13 Post by Lumen_Astrum » Thu Dec 30, 2010 9:25 am

Hmmm... I haven't played this yet, but it looks good~
I'll be playing this~

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Re: Secret Santa

#14 Post by Erumi-On » Thu Dec 30, 2010 11:21 am

Very cute game ! Haruta reminds me a lot one of my friends <3
Some stuffs look rushed though, but for a first game, it's still cute and enjoyable x3

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EternalDream
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Secret Santa Fixed and Extended Version (V 1.5)

#15 Post by EternalDream » Thu Dec 30, 2010 4:10 pm

Okay... I think I fixed the problem last time and I also added some scenes to improve the storyline... Hope you like it! (I replaced the old link with the new one, I don't know how to delete this post so I just edited it lol)
Anyways, since uploading takes a long time, I'm just going to keep the link below:
Attachments
Secret Santa V1.5-win32.zip
(23 MiB) Downloaded 172 times
Last edited by EternalDream on Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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