Idol Crush v1.1

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veela
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#16 Post by veela » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:51 pm

:D Liked it! I got Kan and Ichiro.... and a bad and neutral end. I'm not sure if I want to go get Jun.... :/
lol...his bad ending made me dislike him a bit. Dude, wth? That's your best friend and you treat her like that? No wonder you don't have a girlfriend to make your damn lunch. >:S


I think I liked Kan the best~ 8DD I tend to love the grouchy, misfit, delinquent (but with a heart of gold!) characters. <3
LMAO @ "I HATE PEOPLE.... um, but you're okay." >O< Lol... I also loved the "I'm-just-gonna-go-back-to-sleep-while-you-rub-my-shirt" scene XDDDD haha!
I noticed a few spelling mistakes (e.g. eisle --> aisle), but that's about it.
The music and art were lovely~ Very cute little game! :DDD Nice work!

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Snowflower
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#17 Post by Snowflower » Sat Jan 15, 2011 12:07 am

complacent wrote: I CAN'T OPEN IT. :|
When ever I try, it tells me to look at the notepad thing, and I do, and this is what it says. :\

Mac or Window?
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machinist
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#18 Post by machinist » Sat Jan 15, 2011 1:52 am

Walkthrough for just good endings! (will delete if there's problem)

Jun
Rooftop
Yes
Walk home with Jun
Beat him in the game by actually trying
No.. I have other things to do...
Ichiro
Library
Go and find Ichiro-senpai for help
I'll drop by..
Kan
Rooftop
no
Apologize and try to clean the mess
Insist on the subject
Ramen
Of course

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ofdawnandtwilight
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#19 Post by ofdawnandtwilight » Sat Jan 15, 2011 2:34 am

machinist wrote:Walkthrough for just good endings! (will delete if there's problem)

Jun
Rooftop
Yes
Walk home with Jun
Beat him in the game by actually trying
No.. I have other things to do...
Ichiro
Library
Go and find Ichiro-senpai for help
I'll drop by..
Kan
Rooftop
no
Apologize and try to clean the mess
Insist on the subject
Ramen
Of course
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE got the endings XD
thanks :D

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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#20 Post by complacent » Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:52 am

VampireZero wrote:
complacent wrote: I CAN'T OPEN IT. :|
When ever I try, it tells me to look at the notepad thing, and I do, and this is what it says. :\

Mac or Window?
Windows Vista.

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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#21 Post by Winter » Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:30 pm

Fun game, thanks for sharing! :D

I have to agree with what other people said;

Jun
I really like the childhood friend paths xD He had a super cute good ending (scene in the pool was adorable), but his bad ending made him seem obnoxious... But I liked how realistic the good and neutral endings were, as well as how long and developed his path was. I would have liked to see him appear in other paths too~
Kan
He was my favorite! 8D I liked his personality and his scenes were really cute. "I hate people ...but I like you" LOL <3 And I liked how much control you had in the path, like how you could pick ramen or burgers. xD
Ichiro
I wanted to like him, but his route seemed to be over really fast. If you gave him more development and made his route longer, I think it could be really cute. :D
In general, for your first VN, this was pretty good! :3 I thought the artwork was gorgeous <3 I can't wait to see how your next project turns out~

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Snowflower
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#22 Post by Snowflower » Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:47 pm

complacent wrote:
VampireZero wrote:
complacent wrote: I CAN'T OPEN IT. :|
When ever I try, it tells me to look at the notepad thing, and I do, and this is what it says. :\

Mac or Window?
Windows Vista.
ahhhh, i don't know what to tell you :( my renpy knowledge is pretty nonexistent at the moment...
&& i have a mac, so i won't be able to check what exactly is the problem. :(
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Snowflower
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#23 Post by Snowflower » Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:35 am

Ahhh, it's fun seeing the number of downloads go up for my game :)
I feel like a proud baby mama XD
However, I would really appreciate it if the people who download them give me feedbacks, especially if you see any flaws.
I'm working on my next project and I would hate to repeat the same mistakes :)
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Esphirisa
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#24 Post by Esphirisa » Sun Jan 23, 2011 4:25 am

There were a few spelling mistakes like "rukus". The mom's sprite doesn't match the others, but that can't be helped if you're using freeware. Hmm... I feel like the characters are too typical. A misunderstood nice guy, a playboy, and the student council president with awesome grades and looks. The story could have been better developed, and I felt like things were going too fast, except maybe for Jun's path. It would be nice to have a couple of basketball scenes, seeing as we have two love interests that are in the basketball club.

I liked that the characters have Japanese names(yesh, I'm biased), and that you added "san" and all that honorifics. It would have also been nice if you could show that Jun was not a true playboy like you did in your description of him. I couldn't tell that he found it difficult to reject girls at all. There are a couple of loopholes in the story that could have been better covered up. The options were rather random, and I couldn't guess which option would lead to which ending. It would be great to have a Character Profile section in-game, too.

Well, despite all that, I have to admit that I liked the game. The art was good, Miyuki had personality, and Jun gave off the childhood-friend air like he was supposed to. Like many others, Kan was my favorite. He seems too much like a lost puppy to me. Fufu. Anyway, good job for your first VN. It seems like you're already working on other; good luck!

[Note: Is there really 10+ endings? I've only gotten 8 so far.]

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Riviera
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#25 Post by Riviera » Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:02 pm

I really, really, really should have posted my review here before now. I'm so very lazy, oh my god. :(


Anyway! I actually went for Jun first, and ended up getting his neutral ending.
It sucked, but also seemed very, very realistic. Which is part of why it was sad... I mean, you can tell he's... kind of leaving it open ended, but you can also tell that it's also not really up for debate.
I then worked my little tail off checking every decision point until I got his good ending, which was very worth it.
As I mentioned in the In Progress thread, I really like playboys who finally fall in real love, and I also love childhood friends who fall in love. He was hitting two birds with one stone, and the way he gave his final speech was just so very sweet and gratifying. As was the kiss in the water, even if that wasn't part of the good ending.
Kun was a very close second. Very close. My only complaint is
he really does not seem much like a 'bad boy' at all. Even when you two don't know each other from adam, the worst he does is act a bit grumpy and 'grarr leave me alone." A tad antisocial, but if he really had a bad streak in him he probably would have yelled at her or left with a smartmouth comment. Don't get me wrong, I love the sweethearts, but he does not fit his profile summary much at all. That said, his good ending was very cute, and felt very natural. He's going to be a great boyfriend for Miyuki. We should all be so lucky!
Ichiro...
what can I say? I wanted to like him but there.. wasn't much substance to him at all. He was a nice guy, but nice and helpful was all there really was to him. He started showing some personality near the end of his route when he got upset at those girls for locking Miyuki up, but that was it. His route was also very, very short. They meet, they talk once in the library, next thing you know his fans lock you in that same library, he busts you out, and it's over. I'd really like more filler. Maybe you could hang out once or twice in the middle, he could walk you to class one day, you could set up a meeting in the gym during lunch period to study for a test, maybe you could even pass him a note during a class and have it be intercepted by his fangirls without you knowing. Lots of stuff to help flesh it out.

Plus, what kind of person is he really besides his kind and helpful traits? He seems protective, he could get jealous of Jun if Jun happens to pick Miyuki up after one of their "study dates" together. He has fans, there could be interaction potential there... maybe one of them does something daring like leave a love note in one of his books and he only finds it when he opens it up during one of his and Miyuki's meetings. I'd seriously consider adding a bit more content for him. It would help him out SO MUCH! :)


Also, you said something about possibly putting the CGs in if asked? *asks* lol

I guess there could be two versions, one with cgs and one without? If that's not too much trouble? ^_^;
Will edit/proofread for cookies.

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Poketto Kunoichi
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#26 Post by Poketto Kunoichi » Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:31 pm

:) It was good for your first game. I suck at visual novels, so when I kept getting the bad endings, I replayed anyway. xD I liked Jun the best, then Kan, then Ichiro. The scenes wherever Miyuki was in danger came as a surprise, so that was awesome. I awww'd at the scene near the pool with Jun. Also, it's great that you gave Miyuki a personality, talents, and fears, instead of an empty person for readers to project themselves into.

As for the game's flaws, it's pretty much that the pacing is too fast, but then again, it's a short game. Don't be afraid to take time to develop your characters. :) Also, I recommend you don't use music from other visual novels. I recognized CLANNAD and Kanon in there, which just distracted me.

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Snowflower
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#27 Post by Snowflower » Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:10 am

Poketto Kunoichi wrote::) Also, I recommend you don't use music from other visual novels. I recognized CLANNAD and Kanon in there, which just distracted me.

I cannot afford a composer to make music for me... I apologize if the music within the game from free sources bothered you :(
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kirianas
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#28 Post by kirianas » Mon Feb 21, 2011 3:15 am

For your first VN I think you did a really good job.

Feedback

Thumbs Up:
-I loved the down to earth, realistic answers/replies you gave the characters. Love always has it's ups and downs and the fact that you didn't give the cliche storybook ending for everything was great.
-I really liked the effort you put into character development. Some places definitely had more than others, and it did look like you struggled a little with adding this while trying to get to the point/keep it short, but is was obvious from a viewer perspective that you were really trying and it was great to see that.

Could Use Some Work:
-I found the "Good Endings" to be too easy to obtain. As a viewer I really enjoy the creator making me work a little harder to get those endings. The first 4 endings I got were Jun's Bad, Jun's Good, Ichiro's Good, and Kan's Good. There was definitely potential for the story to be more developed and presenting viewer's with more choices, maybe making 1 or 2 of the good endings much harder to get.
-Jun's Bad Ending-
Considering the best friend accept the two share this ending seemed really unnatural compared to the other endings. You turned a really emotional scene into something that was cut & dry, done with in a mere second (and in a pretty harsh manner). It leaves me to wonder did you meant for the path here to be a little different, did you run out of time that you could devote to this scene/path, was this what you originally envisioned when you made this path. I just feel like it was missing some kind of transition, like the MC was out of my control completely and I didn't make enough "bad choices" to justify that ending-if that makes sense at all.
-It was too short! I wanted to play more! :)

Overall though, your work shows so much effort and potential. I'm looking forward to your next VN!

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Miss-Mae
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#29 Post by Miss-Mae » Tue Mar 08, 2011 2:10 am

Finally got around to playing your game tonight!

I admit, the first ending I got was the No Progress one, and that kind of... Threw me for a loop. ^^; I was totally confused by it and thought that it must be a really short game, lol. xD

But I played through twice more after that.

I think that the sprites were really nice looking, first off! The lack of CGs was disappointing. Especially since I got CGs with Jun, despite getting his bad ending.. And then got no CGs with Ichiro, despite getting his good ending. xD That was a little strange.

Also, I think it would have been nice to get a bit more character development on Ichiro. I was sad that we didn't get to know him a bit more. Basically, a little bit longer would have been nice, but seeing as how it's your first game, that is understandable.

Anyways! A good start to your game making. I hope to see more from you soon. :) <3
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Re: Idol Crush v1.1

#30 Post by Green Skies » Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:17 am

wait you said that you don't have the ability to do your own art for cgs...
so how did you manage to draw the characters?

excellent looking game tho!
Current Project: Shoot the Moon // Devblog

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